Finding My Way
by sohawkeward
Summary: When she chooses to run and never return, she doesn't expect the blind earthbender to be the one to bring her back. They fall into an odd relationship in the midst of a storm, but Azula is concerned that no one can love a monster. Toph is more worried that she may be right.
1. Gone

Hi everyone. This has been a story that's been swimming around in my head for quite some time, and I've decided to put it up here on to see how people like it. The story's main pairing isn't one you would often see around the ATLA ff archives, but I hope you'll give it a chance, so please read on and remember to review to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

As a heads up, this story will be updated every Saturday (GMT+8) so I can take some time to develop each chapter over the week.

Disclaimer: I don't own ATLA or any of its characters.

* * *

**Finding My Way**

**1**

For a fleeting moment, she had the world at her feet.

For a moment, she was infinite. She was the daughter of the great Fire Lord Ozai, the princess of the Fire Nation—Azula of the Sapphire Flame, the firebending prodigy everyone acknowledged, feared and respected—but her titles lost their meaning the day she lost to her first and last Agni Kai with the banished prince. No, perhaps it happened even earlier than that. Perhaps she had begun to lose her control the day Ty Lee and Mai turned their backs on her. Or maybe, she never had control at all. She couldn't even have her mother's love, and used firebending to impress her own father, so she would become his favorite while Zuko was loved and cared for every minute, every second of his life—

The sapphire flames escaped from her mouth as she let out a cry of pure hatred and anguish, searing the space where the faces of the people she hated should be. Her fists were clenched so tightly, her own nails sunk into her skin. But the pain could be ignored. There was no greater pain than the pain of betrayal, loss and helplessness. Even her blood burned as it trickled down her hands and wrists, falling in little droplets onto the concrete floor. Everything burned inside her. Everything inside her yearned to die, but no one would give her the pleasure of dying and escaping her life sentence.

"Kill me," she muttered under her breath. Hearing her own voice so weak and soft and so very unlike the woman she used to be brought tears to her eyes as she hung her head, even though she knew that no one could see her. "Kill me, _please_…"

The pleading in her voice was so pathetic. How long had she been like this? She couldn't remember. The day she was admitted into this place seemed so long ago, and yet, she didn't feel any different. The scars and marks of her defeat still haunted her every night. Her dreams replayed her last Agni Kai with Zuko and the girl from the Water Tribe, showed Ozai's face twisting into that of a dragon's, his words cutting into her heart like a steel blade, and ultimately gave her illusions of her mother's love, illusions that shattered like her world did when she awoke every morning.

All she had left were her own failures and losses, while Fire Lord Zuko lived his life hiding the fallen princess from the rest of the world. She missed her power, her reign of terror. Even if no one truly loved her, they were still under her control. She had everything in the palm of her hand, and if anyone dared to step out of line, intentionally or not, she would be most demonstrative in terms of showing the rest of her subjects the consequences.

Ruling by fear had its advantages, and she was willing to believe they outweighed the opportunity of being loved. Love was for children, and she wasn't a child anymore. She never was a child, for she was born a woman, born with great power and potential. She didn't need childhood. She didn't need love.

"Azula…" Ursa's voice crept up on her, and the former princess twitched. "My daughter," Ursa whispered, looking at the young woman that was chained to the ground. Azula looked away almost immediately, and closed her eyes tightly.

"Get away from me!" she screamed, "I don't need your pity!"

"You do need me," Ursa said quietly. There was a brief moment of silence and Azula thought her mother had gone again, just like the last time before her coronation, but threw her head back when she felt her mother's fingers stroking her cheek. She didn't need love.

"Get out of here," she hissed, glaring at Ursa, "Go bother little Zuzu instead! He's _your _favorite."

"Don't talk like that," Ursa pleaded, "You know I love the both of you equa—"

"Shut up!" Azula screamed again, and from her mouth escaped her trademark blue flames, engulfing her own mother. She watched in horror as her mother disappeared in the flames, and felt something else breaking inside her as she let out another anguished cry and stopped fighting her tears, and everything else inside her.

* * *

She planned.

Being isolated from the rest of the world had its advantages, and she was willing to take what she could and make the best of it. Every single day she sat in silence in her room, listening to the footsteps of the guards that patrolled the corridors, and took note of when they changed shifts, or when they took a break. It wasn't that hard—the guards usually never whisper, their arrogance blinding them to the fact that Azula was still the same cunning and intelligent prodigy as before. The former princess delighted in their carelessness and slowly gained back whatever was left of her confidence, knowing that soon, freedom would be at hand and true liberation would begin.

She closed her eyes and breathed calmly, feeling the vibrations in the ground. She had always been impressed with that little blind girl—Toph Beifong—and wasn't afraid to admit that her skills would improve her dexterity greatly. It would help in her coming departure from this wretched island. She wished she could see Zuko's face when he finds her room empty, but she decided that seeing him would only make her want to stay and initiate another needless duel—an unnecessary waste of time. She knew he'd also have the Avatar by his side, and she wasn't about to go down that road again and get herself locked up once more.

No, this time, she had to think about her own safety.

Inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth, she began watch her surroundings through the eyes her senses gave her.

* * *

Feng was a regular man. He was honest, he was hardworking and he was happy that Fire Lord Zuko had trusted him and his men enough to station them in the mental facility that housed the infamous Princess Azula. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't let his nation's leader down, mostly because Azula had been one of the worst people to almost become Fire Lord and Ozai had been a most cold-blooded ruler for a period of time. His family had lived in fear the moment Ozai stepped up to take Azulon's place, so this time, he was sure to treasure the fact that a kinder leader had emerged from the ashes, nearing the end of the Hundred Year War.

He had celebrated so happily with his family when they learnt of Phoenix King Ozai's defeat to the Avatar Aang, and Azula's defeat to her brother, the once banished prince, Zuko and her subsequent mental breakdown. Of course, he wasn't without sympathy. He did feel sorry for the young woman that used to be the gem of the Fire Nation, the firebending prodigy that wowed thousands with her trademark sapphire flames and the princess that could do no wrong. He had heard stories of her loveless childhood, and how she had depended on her skills to impress and find her place as the right hand of her father, all the while believing that Ursa had never loved her.

Feng admitted that he'd understood Azula's emotions once. He never had a great relationship with his father to begin with, and though his mother loved him, his father was always impressed with his older brother. No matter what Feng tried to do to please the man he looked up to, the same eyes always looked away and found his brother instead. He had grown up swearing to be a better man than his father was, and almost lost control of his own marriage when he found the love of his life.

His beautiful wife helped him out of it with her love and patience, and that was where Feng began to feel sorry for the fallen princess. She had no love—she didn't love anyone and no one loved her. She used fear and manipulation to keep people by her side, but everyone knew such bonds were only temporary and extremely fragile, so she truly never knew friendship and genuine love. Feng wondered if the princess had ever felt inclined to open up her heart to someone before, but decided that it was all useless.

The princess was no longer the person she was, and everyone who knew her had already deemed her too mentally unstable for any hope of a proper recovery. These things usually took time, love and an inner spirit that was strong enough to fight such depression and brokenness. Azula had time, but she didn't seem to have the last two things.

_What a shame, she would have made a great leader with the right heart and spirit._

He glanced at the afternoon sun and realized that it was time for food to be served to the princess. Usually, he would accompany the attendant that would allow Azula to be free of her chains for the moment, to eat her food and keep a stable diet. He went through the same procedures again today, dreading the look of anger and hatred he would receive from the young woman once they entered the room. She usually never attacked, but when she did, it was usually during breakfast. Feng believed that by the time they visited her in the morning each day, she would have just woken up from a nightmare. The rings around her eyes spoke volumes of how well she rested in this place.

He followed the female attendant to her room and felt for his keys hanging on his belt.

"She's been awfully quiet, hasn't she?" the attendant said suddenly.

Feng raised his eyebrows. He hadn't realized it until that very moment. "You're right," he said thoughtfully, bringing the key towards the door, "Maybe she's thought things through. Maybe she wants to get better now."

"I do hope so," she replied, shrugging, "The Avatar seems awfully concerned about her well-being. I overheard him talking to Fire Lord Zuko the other—"

The loud clatter of the tray echoed along the corridor as the two stood side by side, eyes wide with shock and horror. The silence that followed after was much louder, and Feng found himself wishing that Azula would do something like scream at them and tell them to get lost, if only to fill the silence that eventually filled him with fear and dread.

"The princess is gone. I must tell Fire Lord Zuko."

* * *

"…I'm just saying that as her older brother, you need to see her more often and show her concern!"

"And what good would that do, Aang? She hates me. She wanted to kill me—multiple times."

Aang let out a groan of frustration and fell back against the grass. He had taken a day off with Zuko in hopes of convincing him to pay Azula a visit after hearing rumors that her condition worsened while being locked up in the mental facility on the island just off the coast of the Fire Nation. At first, he found the idea of isolating her where she could hurt no one a good suggestion, but afterwards he realized that maybe keeping her locked up with no one to talk to was just about the worst idea to do to someone like her. Aang didn't know much about Azula, but he'd heard enough from Zuko and Iroh and was ultimately convinced that even she wasn't beyond saving—not yet, at least. She wasn't her father.

"Katara told me about her state right after your Agni Kai," Aang said, crossing his arms over his chest, "She was shattered. She's lost so much because of the direction Ozai was trying to take the both of you. Didn't you tell me that she was jealous of you because you had your mother's love? And what about when Ty Lee and Mai betrayed her—"

"Aang, you don't know her like I do," Zuko interjected, shaking his head, "She's sadistic and she's heartless—"

"Are you listening to me, Zuko? She is your sister!" Aang sat up again. "Look, if I had a sister, I'd love her to bits. She's your family after all! She's your only family, and if your mother is still alive, then that's great! But for now, she's your only family. Don't you know what that means?"

Zuko sighed and sat himself down next to Aang. "I know how you feel. I know you lost your whole family a hundred years ago and you feel like you could have done more for them if you hadn't left. But this is different. Azula never loved me from the start. She never saw me as her brother. She saw me the way my father saw me—useless. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Aang scratched his head, looking apologetic. "I know," he said, "I'm just saying that she deserves a chance at love too. No matter what she did to you, me and the rest of the world. I'm not afraid of admitting that maybe—maybe I'm able to forgive her for what she's done."

"What?" Zuko exclaimed, looking at Aang with a bewildered expression, "Aang, in case you haven't noticed, she almost broke the Avatar cycle when she struck you down with her lightning. She almost killed Katara during the Agni Kai while you were off battling my father. She—she doesn't deserve forgiveness. Not now, not ever."

"But you were forgiven," Aang said simply, staring at his friend, "Don't you remember how _we _forgave _you_?"

Zuko looked away, visibly ashamed that he had forgotten that he had been forgiven by the very people he tried to hunt down and kill for almost a year. Azula was no different from the banished prince, a ruthless hunter that saw nothing but their targets, oblivious to the world all around them that they were destroying. In the end, Iroh had gotten through to Zuko, but Azula had no one but herself. She was alone for the most part, haunted by her insecurities and buried fears that eventually clawed their way out.

Zuko remembered a time where he loved his little sister. He remembered being only four, taking the hand of two-year old Azula and bringing her around the royal palace as though he had a clue as to where they were going. He remembered how tightly she had held onto his hand and how proud he felt being her older brother. He remembered staying in her room, in the middle of the night, holding her close to him as the storm raged on outside, whispering promises that he would always be there to protect her.

Then, Ozai took him away for training in the art of firebending. He separated him from his little sister—his confused little sister who only wanted to be with someone who loved her as much as her brother—for months, isolating him only to his training. It didn't turn out very well, and Ozai had to let Zuko stop—a child could only take so much.

When he returned, Azula stopped holding his hand. In fact, she had chased away all the servants and even her mother, believing that firebending was the only way to let Ozai notice her. She had forgotten Zuko's love for her and they grew up and apart. She began spending more time with herself and the firebending masters at the tender age of three, with Zuko watching her sadly from the shadows. He had lost his little sister.

"I'm a failure as a brother," Zuko heard himself say.

Aang looked up from the pebble he was playing with. "No, you're not. You can show her you still care."

"But how?" he mumbled, "The moment she sees me, she spits fire at me. Literally."

"Well, you've gotta face it!" Aang sighed. "If it helps, I'll go with you. It's not like she can keep the fire-breathing up forever, right?"

"Maybe," Zuko said, nodding slowly, "I could… we could go see her."

"Really?" said Aang, his face lighting up almost immediately, "We could go right now!"

Aang's enthusiasm brought a smile to Zuko's face. If there was one thing he liked the most about the Avatar, it had to be his cheerful disposition. It was almost as though there was nothing that could wipe that goofy grin off the monk's face. "I don't know how you do it, Aang, but you're something special."

"Well, I guess so," Aang said, grinning from ear to ear, "Now let's go. We can take Appa—"

Aang barely finished his sentence as the officer in charge, Feng, came stumbling through the courtyard and falling to his knees in front of Zuko. The words that escaped from the frantic soldier's mouth shattered all hopes of Zuko becoming Azula's older brother again.

"Fire Lord Zuko! Princess Azula has escaped!"


	2. Stowaway

Hi all! Yep, I know this isn't a Saturday and it's only been a few hours since I put up the first chapter.

This update came too fast, too soon, but to be honest, the first 5 chapters have already been written in advance. I guess my fine-tuning took a lot less time than I thought, so here is the second chapter! I hope I don't mess up in any way, and I hope you all see an improvement in my writing as the chapters are released. This may be a story I really want to put out here, but it is also a platform for me to get better at writing. This young Padawan still has a long way to go!

Thank you so much for the reviews, hits, favorites and follows. They are a motivation for me to keep writing and see this story through to the very end.

* * *

**2**

Zuko felt stupid for even wanting to search the room. It was clearly empty, and Azula had clearly made her way out unnoticed. He had lost his sister again, and this time, he had no lead on her whereabouts. She was lost forever, and he would never get to show her that they were still family after everything that's been said and done. His eyes scanned the room and they fell upon the chains that had held her, sliced through cleanly. He wondered how she had felt in here, being chained up like a wild beast that's beyond control. He took a few steps forward and got down on his knees, his hands touching the chains and weighing them absent-mindedly.

_No one would have done well here, _he thought to himself bitterly. _But there was no other way. You were… you were lost in your own despair and anger. Your sanity was crumbling and I couldn't think of anywhere else to put you. Prison would have been too cruel. _He looked away from the chains in his hand. This place was no different from a prison. He should have thought of something better for Azula. He should have been more thoughtful.

"We'll find her, Zuko," Aang said, placing his hand on the Fire Lord's shoulder, "I believe we can. She couldn't have gone far."

"She's a resourceful girl," Zuko said quietly, letting the chains fall to the ground as he stood up, "It won't be easy. It seems impossible. No one saw her get out, and she didn't even have to kill anyone this time."

Aang sighed deeply and looked at the remains of what had held the princess here. He couldn't imagine Azula's state while being inside here—this room was as stuffy as it was quiet. The lack of noise and interaction with other human beings would surely have driven him crazy. Even for someone like Azula, isolation would have driven her even further into the depths of her own madness and bitterness.

"I know what you're thinking," Zuko said, his eyes blank and emotionless. But Aang knew the Fire Lord had a maelstrom of emotions swirling inside him relentlessly. "I shouldn't have put her here like this on her own. You're right, Aang. I should have come by more frequently. Maybe she would have stayed…"

"I don't think we should be concentrating on the past," Aang said, smiling up at his friend, "We should be out there on Appa, searching for Azula."

Zuko's lips twitched at the corners and he felt his eyes sting as tears filled his eyes, but his pride refused to let them fall and he blinked them away quickly. "Your spirit lifts mine," he said softly, before taking one last glance at his surroundings and leaving the room. Aang sighed and followed after his friend, knowing that they had a lot of ground to cover before they found the missing princess.

"Fire Lord Zuko," Feng started as he walked in step with the young leader, "I have arranged squads of five to spread out in a ten-mile radius around the main city to look for Princess Azula. Do you want a personal search party to accompany you?"

Zuko shook his head and glanced at the young monk beside him. "It's alright, Feng. I can do this with my friends."

* * *

Azula turned the knife over and over in her hand, feeling the handle of the weapon almost absent-mindedly. The cool breeze caressed her face as she let her hair fall, discarding the hair pin that represented her place in the royal family of the Fire Nation. She didn't need it anymore—she no longer considered herself her father's daughter, or Zuko's younger sister. She no longer had anything to do with this country, this land and this world. There was nothing left for her, and so, her identity went with everything else she left behind.

Her slender fingers wrapped around her long, black hair, bunching it into a messy ponytail. She sucked in her breath and brought the knife up to her hair when she stopped herself at the very last moment upon seeing her own reflection in the puddle on the ground.

_What a waste of such beauty, Azula._

Waste was right. Resentment and frustration boiled in her blood and her gold orbs glowed with them, like an angry fire that wanted only to destroy everything in its path.

She used to look so beautiful in her glory days, and now Princess Azula had been reduced to nothing but a pathetic mess. Her long hair had been her pride, even if she didn't bother learning how to groom herself—the servants were there for a reason. Of course, no one had ever figured out why. They all kept telling her she looked like her mother that way. It was either that or they were all under the assumption that it was some kind of family tradition.

Now, looking at the broken young woman that was looking back with a bitter grimace, Azula wistfully wondered if there was anything that would be able to define her ever again. Ozai was gone, and so was her status as princess. She sighed and flung the knife at the puddle angrily, the ripples marring her reflection and turning it into a distortion of her face. Her identity had crumbled and her world was in pieces.

The only thing she could do now, she decided, was to move on and leave everything behind. There was one last answer to all her problems.

Pulling her hood up, Azula made her way out of the alley and into the heart of the bustling royal city of the Fire Nation, renewed in the eyes of the world under the leadership of her brother. Everyone seemed so much happier than they were before, even if they once proudly claimed to have been honored to serve Ozai and Azula, Sozin's legacy. Now she could see their true colors—most of them actually resented Ozai's ambitions and in turn, resented Azula, for she was an extension of his evil.

She didn't know this place anymore. It was all lost to her, just as she was now lost to the world.

Her musings were interrupted as she saw five Fire Nation soldiers patrolling the other end of the street. Slipping into the shadows as they marched by, Azula picked up bits of their conversation.

"…can't believe the Fire Lord would still want to look for Princess Azula after everything. I heard the Avatar was the one who encouraged him to send that many soldiers out on searches. I hope she never returns," one of them said, visibly displeased.

"Don't say that. She _is _the sister of Zuko, after all," another one cut in, shaking his head, "Family is family, after all that's been said and done."

"I doubt she even remembers that. She went ballistic after their Agni Kai…"

Azula scowled and pulled her hood down lower. She wondered why Zuko insisted on looking for her, even though he had shut her out ever since he overthrew his own family. A little voice at the back of her mind told her that it was because he knew she still had the potential to be dangerous. Her instincts screamed for the impossible—that someone out there cared about her. Such worries had diminished the moment she'd gained the favor of Ozai so many years ago, but now they were threatening to resurface and ruin her from the inside out.

"Not going to happen, Zuzu," she whispered, and quietly slipped out into the street again and blended in with the crowd.

* * *

"No."

"Yes!"

"_Seriously? _Katara, are you listening to yourself? You want to help find the craziest, most dangerous girl of all time—who, by the way, shoots lightning and blue fire out of her fingertips—and bring her back so she can attempt to roast us all?"

"Sokka, she's not even in a good state," Katara sighed, smacking her hand on her forehead in utter frustration, "You should've seen her back there, after she fought us. She was crying and devastated and… and I saw the face of someone whose world had just fallen to pieces before her eyes."

Her brother looked absolutely disgusted with the idea. "You pity _her_? Katara, what's gotten into you?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.

"What's gotten into _you_?" Katara countered furiously, her blue eyes meeting his, "Look, anything could happen out there—to her. People could recognize her and then what's going to happen to her? She's definitely not coming back to the Fire Nation in one piece, that's for sure."

"So let it happen," Sokka said, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration, "She deserves it."

This time, it wasn't Katara that spoke up. Aang leaped onto the table and pointed his staff at Sokka, his face etched with disapproval and disappointment.

"How could you say something like that, Sokka? If any of us here in this room thought the same way as you, then Ozai and Azula would have been dead months ago!"

Sokka flinched, seeing the truth in Aang's words. He shook his head and turned away from his friends, finding it impossible to ignore his resentment.

"I know you didn't kill Ozai because you don't believe in taking lives," he said a little sheepishly, "But can I be honest? If it were up to me, they would have paid for their crimes in full."

By the time Sokka finished speaking his mind, Aang was already halfway out the door with Zuko by his side. "The war's already over, Sokka."

"I can't believe you'd turn away from us like this, just because you can't put down the past!"

Katara brushed past her brother without another word and followed the Fire Lord and Avatar, her stoic visage hiding her disappointment and resentment. There was no need for a façade, though, for Sokka could feel everyone's disappointment in his bones. Aang had a point about the war being over, but he still couldn't forgive the father-daughter duo for causing so much damage. He sat back down on his chair and thought of his father. He thought about what Hakoda would say to him if he were here.

No words of advice came to him and the room was insufferably silent. Sokka groaned out loud and turned his head toward the retreating backs of his sister and closest friends.

_Ah, whatever._

Moments later, he was out the front door and chasing after his friends and sister. "Hey, wait for me! An extra pair of eyes will go a long way, you know!"

Aang turned back with a wide grin on his face, his eyes filled with gratitude and relief. "You changed your mind!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down, "That's great, Sokka!"

"Thank you for doing this," Zuko said, smiling faintly at Sokka.

The swordsman shrugged. "I guess if you were crazy enough to follow me to a high security Fire Nation prison without a guarantee that my father would've been there, I could do the same for you and be crazy enough to look for your psychotic sister and bring her back home."

"I guess we can call it even after this, then."

Katara ran forward and threw her arms around her older brother and held him tightly. "I'm proud of you, Sokka."

The water tribesman smiled and wrapped his arms around his little sister, feeling like he was becoming the man his father had wanted him to be. Whatever happened next, he would always be there for these people and he would protect them until the very end.

_No more immaturity, Sokka. You're a man now. So act like one._

* * *

By the time she had left the main city, Azula realized that she hadn't exactly thought of a proper mode of transport out of the region. _Maybe I'm really crazy_, she thought with bitter amusement. She blew a loose strand of hair away from her face and took in her surroundings carefully. Then, her eyes spotted something in the distance—a lone farmer was preparing to take his ox and cart back home after loading it with goods from the market. Her lips curled into a smile as she cautiously approached the cart and, knowing desperation was driving her to sheer stupidity because she didn't even know where this man would take her, slipped under the cloth that covered his goods.

After an hour or so, she began to wonder where the man lived. She hadn't exactly clarified his destination with him, but she decided that if he was going far away from the Fire Nation, then it would be good enough. She would rather get lost in the world than be back in a place where she had to face infuriatingly cold doctors that never uttered a word to her and timid guards that looked like they were feeding a wild beast rather than an eighteen-year old girl chained to the ground and even more heaviness that kept her prisoner. No one ever spoke to her—the only people that had ever bothered saying things to her were the Avatar and Zuko.

Every time they came by and spoke to her, Azula inwardly wished she could just die. But their presence was not the worst part about their visit—it was when they left, that she felt the worst about herself. Something inside her had wanted them to stay, to turn around and talk about pointless things a little longer, because the loneliness was almost completely unavoidable by then. She usually opened her mouth to call out their names, but if Aang or Zuko had even turned around slightly and so much as caught a glimpse of her sick need for company, Azula would turn away and bite her lip. Their sighs of disappointment sounded like screams to her, and when she slept she dreamt they stayed with her.

She would wake up screaming, and the guards and doctors often dismissed it as nightmares of her own crimes coming back to haunt her and decided that she would have to overcome these hauntings by herself. No one ever understood her—they only saw her as the crazed sister of the Fire Lord, who had the blood of so many on her hands. She would have to carry the title of a criminal for the rest of her life, and no one would even dare try and uncover the girl buried within her own wrongdoings, much less look into her eyes.

Her hand reached out for the tip of the large cloth that covered her, careful not to knock over anything and alert the man to her presence. She lifted it and peered outside, and realized that she was far from the Fire Nation. Only random farmers populated the roadsides, people that didn't don Fire Nation colors. Then, a sudden realization dawned on Azula.

She was on the outskirts of the Fire Nation region, and the man had just delivered Azula onto the doorstep of a village filled with refugees that have yet to rebuild their lives.

_Great_, she mused, _how am I going to get out of this now?_

"You can come out now," a deep voice said, coming from directly above her. Azula's heart pounded furiously in her chest. They were going to kill her now—they were going to give her the public death she deserved, at the hands of the people whose lives she had destroyed—

"No, seriously," the voice said again, and the cloth flew upwards, exposing her entirely.

Azula winced and pulled her hood down as she sat up, her insides knotting uncomfortably.

"I—I'm sorry I stowed away on your cart," she said, trying not to let the tension in her voice escalate, "I just had to—to get out of that place."

"I understand," the man said, hopping off the cart and walking around it so he now faced her, "Many people here have said that the Fire Nation is a place they cannot return to, even if the new Fire Lord has… changed things. Does it hold bad memories for you, too?"

Azula bowed her head, and hoped that the man would assume that she was trying to hide her tears.

"It does," she said quietly, "Too many for me to bear."

"And… you are alone?"

She swallowed hard, and nodded. "My father and mother are dead."

"Because of the war," the man said thoughtfully, "Well, it's alright, my dear. You're safe here. We all are. A fresh start is what you need, and you'll find it here."

There was a long pause before the man cleared his throat. Azula flinched, and lifted her head slightly so that she could see him, and was surprised to see him offering a hand to her with a perplexity written all over his worn face.

"Well, don't you want to get out of the cart?"

"Oh," she said simply, and gently placed her hand on his. His hand closed around hers and his strong grip reminded her of her father's.

"Thank you," she mumbled as she stood up and hopped off the cart, making sure to keep her face hidden as she did so.

"There's no need to hide your face, young one," the man said, laughing slightly, "Fire Lord Zuko knows of our existence. In fact, he gave us this land to start anew. No one is out to get you here."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to keep it this way for a while," Azula said, albeit a little too forcefully. She realized her careless tone and hastily apologized. "I'm sorry about that. I'm just a little on edge, that's all."

The man chuckled. "It's okay," he said, "Well, then... My name's Nilak."

_Not a name of someone from the Fire Nation. _

"You're from the water tribe?" Azula said almost too quickly, lifting her head up a little higher. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Nilak shrugged and smiled as though he was someone who didn't have much of a story to tell.

"I was swept here by the war. I was a part of the earlier invasion of the Fire Nation on the Day of Black Sun, with the Avatar. Ever since that plan failed, I was captured by Princess Azula herself while Ozai went into hiding, but eventually, my freedom was returned to me when the war was over."

Azula felt her insides churn. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that," she said, biting her lip, "You must… really hate Azula."

The water tribesman sighed, and shook his head.

"There's no use talking about someone like her," he said, waving it off dismissively, "And there's no use harping on the past, either. Come, I'll show you to my home."

His blatant resentment of her was unnecessarily stinging, but she trailed after him anyway, deciding that she needed some rest before she moved on from this place. She would have to take whatever that's been given to her, even if it meant sleeping under the roof of someone who hated her.

_Pathetic, _she thought to herself bitterly, _letting yourself accept help from the people who would very well murder you on sight if they knew you were the one under this hood._

"Here we are."

The hut was a modest one, and it looked stable enough. Nilak pushed the door open and stepped aside to allow Azula through, and she uttered a soft 'thank you' before entering his home. It was fashioned into the home of a true water tribesman, and Nilak seemed proud enough of it.

"Took me a while to get it all into place," he said, grinning. "Sokka and Katara helped me with it, mostly."

"The… Avatar's companions were here?" A part of her wondered fearfully if they would return.

"Oh, yes," Nilak said, stroking his white beard thoughtfully, "The Avatar helped us to build this small village. Perhaps one day we will expand once we decide we are able to return to the Fire Nation, and join the main populace."

"Don't you wish to return to your true home?" Azula asked, indicating the water tribe. Nilak's decision to stay had her frowning under her hood. "Why stay here? You said this place gave you bad memories."

"My place is with these people," Nilak said, his voice wistful, "I feel an obligation to protect them. After all, you can't just abandon the people you've spent months in prison with. At least, that's how I see it. Maybe I will return to my home in the North one day, but that day isn't today and it isn't coming soon. These people need me."

Azula nearly scoffed. Nilak was an old man who looked like he couldn't even defend himself from simple bandits. What more the people here?

"Protect them? With what?" she asked, unable to stop herself from sounding like she was mocking him.

Nilak beamed. It reminded her of the amateur magicians in the square she often saw with the same triumphant smile upon their faces, basking in the people's admiration and awe after successfully duping them with mediocre illusions.

"Thought you'd never ask," he said, lifting his arms and going into a stance Azula knew all too well. She had seen the water tribe witch, Katara, in this stance before. _It can't be…_

Water escaped from the water bag attached to his belt and encircled his arms, and Azula realized, horrorstruck, that she had just wandered into the home of a waterbender.


	3. The Waterbending Master

Happy Saturday, guys! Thank you so much for the faves, follows and reviews! Some of you have really made my night/morning (it is approximately midnight where I am) and I can't thank you enough for the encouragement and tips. As always, I am on the road to better writing with every sentence. Thank you so much for sticking with me and this little story of mine!

* * *

**3**

The sun seemed to be blazing with the power of Sozin's comet that day, as Zuko hauled himself up onto Appa. He was getting visibly annoyed with the unrelenting heat and sat in the large saddle so that his back faced the sun, deciding that it was better to let the heat engulf him from behind rather than facing it head on. He wouldn't use the weather as an excuse for his dampened mood, however—nothing exhausted him quite as much as knowing his sister was on the loose, lost somewhere in the land that lay before him. He knew better than anyone what his hot-headed and emotionally volatile sister would do once she met someone foolish enough to step on her toes, and hoped that such unfortunate luck would not befall anyone soon.

There was also a nagging voice at the back of his head, constantly asking the same question over and over in between nervous, frantic breaths. _Do you think she's hurt?_

Zuko ran his index finger along the edge of Appa's saddle absently. His mind was elsewhere, as evidenced by his blank face. There was no absolute need to wonder about such a thing—even if he hadn't visited her (he couldn't even remember the last time he did) for a while, he knew nothing the asylum provided Azula would be able to piece her back together. A thought occurred to him—that he had the power to fix her instead of letting those doctors inject things into her that did her soul no good—but he brushed it off when he remembered that he was the one that broke her in the first place. His mind drifted from the image of Azula in shackles and chains to the memory of their Agni Kai. She was screaming, tearing herself apart from the inside out as her failures came back to devour her and ignoring what Zuko had been trying to say to her—_I'm sorry, 'Zula, I'm sorry! _

The Azula then hadn't been much different from the one now, except that she no longer took it upon her own firebending to hurt him. She hurt him with her eyes—the ones filled with accusation, or lack thereof. On one occasion, she'd completely ignored his presence and chose to concentrate on the space next to his head, as though there was something else there other than the metal door behind her brother. There was a detachment and boredom in her eyes he would never forget, and it had set him on the edge. He instantly forgot, in that moment, what he'd been rehearsing hours before and started talking—talking too fast—about things that didn't concern her anymore, like Uncle Iroh and his famous tea shop, or the weather or the boring meetings he attended from time to time.

It was by that time that Aang reached out and tried to stop Zuko's rambling, but found that it was as hard as trying to stem a river's flow. His insecurity, his nervousness and awkwardness spilled out from his eyes, his mouth, his skin and he'd only realized it when they stepped out of her room. It was then that he decided that he wouldn't visit her ever again until her condition improved on its own. Aang's words of advice had fallen on deaf ears—ears blocked out by fear and unease. He didn't want to _try_ and fix someone he barely recognized anymore.

It suddenly occurred to him that he could never face her, even now, and wondered angrily why he even decided to personally search for her in the first place. He buried his face in his hands and tugged at his hair, as though he would be able to extract all the frustration and worry out of him if he pulled hard enough, and let it go with the wind. No such luck, however.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, and the voice that came afterward told him it was Katara. "You seem troubled," she said, her blue eyes filled with concern, "Is something bothering you?"

"My sister is missing, Katara," Zuko sighed, resting his head the edge of Appa's saddle and watching the clouds drift by them, "What _doesn't _bother me right now?" He felt her hand squeeze his shoulder and felt her move up next to him. His eyes met hers and he saw a flicker of hope in them and hoped that some of it would rub off on him, despite knowing that he couldn't even force himself to smile even if he didn't have to mean it.

"We're covering a lot of ground," Katara said, as she started to pack the supplies neatly on her left. She picked up Sokka's new boomerang—Hakoda had given it to his son as a gift after they had won the war—and placed it in between her own satchel and Sokka's. "I mean, we've even got Toph searching for Azula northwards. I think she's a much more effective tracker on the ground, don't you think?"

Zuko stopped watching the clouds and, deciding that he should get busy to keep the worry away, began to help Katara neaten the mess Aang and Sokka had created after lunch. "It's not that I don't believe we can find her. I just feel… like I don't know why I'm doing it."

"You're her brother," Katara told him, "It's natural that you would want to bring her home."

Zuko shook his head, as though he was trying to ward away flies that weren't there, and smiled bitterly. "Bring her back to that prison, you mean. If anything, I exiled my own little sister. If I were her, I would have run away, too. I'm a horrible older brother."

"She was in no condition to roam about on her own. You knew that, I knew that… and she must have known that too, even if she didn't want to admit it."

"Speculating is pointless," Zuko said vaguely, and sighed, "All I really know now is that Azula's going to run away the moment she sees me."

He squinted up at the sun and wondered if the heat was making him lose his grip on his equanimity. He had never been outwardly insecure about his sister. The only person who ever knew that about him was Mai. He would talk to Mai about Azula, if he wanted to talk at all, and he'd go on and on just like how he was now with Katara before Mai silenced him with soft, butterfly kisses along the nape of his neck. She'd chase away his fears like the specks of dust with her breath and she'd make him forget everything in that instant without even saying a word.

He didn't care if it meant she was encouraging his dodging the issue. Katara, however, seemed to be constantly steering him back on the path he wanted to stay off the most.

"You don't know that for sure," she said, shrugging, "You might just be the person she needs the most right now. She's out there on her own, Zuko. Do you really think she's going to get along with anyone out there? No one loves her as much as you do."

"I don't know if I love her or feel sorry for her."

The waterbender put her hands on her hips and cast the Fire Lord a disapproving glare, like a mother about to admonish her child. "You've been protecting her from getting executed for the last four years," she reminded him, "Or have you forgotten all the times you've shot down every single negotiation over Azula's custody, whether it was from the water tribes or the earth kingdom, and made it clear that she belonged to you and effectively belonged to the Fire Nation?"

"Well, I—"

"Everyone can see your heart, Zuko. Every single time you refuse to sanction anything that included taking Azula away or a public execution is an indication that you don't _just_ feel sorry for her. You're better than that."

Zuko looked away from Katara's piercing blue eyes—she had a habit of making people feel like she was staring into their soul when she looked at them hard enough—and went back to gazing at the clouds, secretly wishing he could eat up everything she said. He had no appetite, however, for things he couldn't bring himself to believe. If there was anything he'd call himself, he'd choose 'irresponsible'.

He had avoided the topic of Azula for the longest time, except when officials from the different nations—and sometimes even his own—requested an audience with him and tried to convince him to let Azula go, and found that even thinking about it made him uncomfortable. There was a hole in his relationship with her where loyalty and love should be, and he couldn't see himself treating her the way he used to when they, for the briefest of moments, liked being each other's sibling.

"Guys, I think I see a village down there!" Aang exclaimed, jerking Katara and Zuko out of their awkward silence, "Let's go check it out!"

Zuko raised his eyebrows. "What makes you think Azula would let herself be seen by people?"

Aang looked scandalized as he turned around to face his friend. "Nothing! But I'm pretty sure she _isn't _the type to use random bushes as bathrooms!"

Katara fought to keep her face straight as she went over to wake Sokka, after seeing how thunderstruck the young Fire Lord looked.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet."

Azula stared at the glowing embers of the fire Nilak had just put out with his waterbending while keeping to stirring the stew he had made for the night. She tried not to let his abilities intimidate her—she knew she was outnumbered here, and he could easily kill her if he discovered who she was—and tried to smile, but then realized he probably couldn't see half her face. Her hood had been up since the moment Nilak had found her in his cart and she hoped that he wouldn't try asking her to remove it anytime soon.

"I'm just… tired," she said, somewhat grateful that it didn't have to be a lie. "It's been a long day." She thought of other things to ignore the heavy tension pressing down on her shoulders, like the food she used to have in the asylum. It made her appreciate the odd sight before her sitting in a pot, and she decided that anything that wasn't cold was good enough for her.

"I suppose it has been," Nilak said, and reached out to stop Azula from stirring the stew any longer, "Any more of that and your wrist is going to be sore." The waterbender picked up a bowl and scooped some sea squid stew into it and offered it to Azula with a warm smile.

Azula sniffed and stopped herself from hurling the bowl from his hands with a simple flick of her wrist. All of a sudden, she found herself torn between hunger and a desire to avoid exploring the unknown. Then again, the prospect of having her appetite ruined so much that she wouldn't need to eat for the rest of the week was tempting. Nilak picked up on her hesitation quickly and let out a hearty laugh.

"Don't worry; it's just sea squid," he said, and Azula swore she could _hear _his smile, "It's one of our best delicacies, to be quite honest."

She reluctantly reached out and took the bowl into her hands and brought it to her lap. She could imagine the water tribe peasants leaping up and down in joy at the very sight of this strange concoction. Then, a thought just occurred to her.

"How do you get these things? We're not very close to a large enough water body that contains these," she pointed out, while reaching out for the wooden spoon in front of her.

"You're an intelligent young woman. I do some fishing from time to time when I miss the food of my people," the old man explained, sounding almost like those annoying teachers she had ignored for the most part of the schooling life with Mai and Ty Lee. Her nose wrinkled involuntarily as she recalled her days in the academy. Despite her momentary daydream, Azula could still pick up the tiniest trace of nostalgia in his voice when she wasn't stewing about the past, and realized he missed his home. "Of course, that means I'll have to travel out to the edge of this land and that takes a few days, but it's worth it."

Azula scooped up some of the stew he had made and lifted it up to her mouth, contemplating whether she should try it or not. The soup was a sickly shade of yellow, the kind you'd see on some potentially poisonous insects. The imagination didn't help Azula with her hesitation and she was beginning to think that she had just caught a whiff of dead insect. Then, her stomach growled and she knew her answer.

"That sounds tough," she said, although she didn't really empathize with Nilak one bit, and takes a swig of the stuff. To her surprise, it tasted even better than she thought it would—for peasant food, of course. "But I guess you're right," she adds for good measure, "It does seem like it's worth it."

Nilak laughed. "I'm glad you like it."

There was a long pause—these were usual occurrences by now, and she had long lost the desire to dig a hole in the ground and hide in it because the tension was suffocating her—and Azula was tempted to look up at the suddenly silent man when he suddenly had a delighted outburst.

"I have an idea," he said, eyes lighting up, "Why don't I take you fishing with me tomorrow morning? I'm almost running out of ingredients anyway, and there's a village feast coming in about four days. I'd like you to be there, my friend. It'll help you get used to everyone in this small community better."

Her insides churned incessantly. The thought of meeting _all _of the refugees in this area was unsettling and she didn't want to think about what might happen if they saw her face. Nilak seemed to mistake her silence for shyness, and patted her on the back encouragingly. It didn't do much to stem the discomfort that was spilling out like her perspiration, seeping out through every gland she had. She took to watching the shapes the steam made when it rose from the pot, catching a dancer at one point, and at the next a flame reaching out for greater heights.

"Don't you worry," he said cheerfully, "We're like a family, if anything. Who knows, they might love you." If Azula wasn't trying to stay under cover, she would have laughed. No one loves Azula, and just because she had been absent for the last four years didn't mean that anyone was going to think she was anything less than a bloodthirsty personification of insanity. Oh, she was going to wait in glee for the day when someone decided to tell her she was anything _but _a monster.

Her bouts of silence were getting too frequent and Nilak shifted uncomfortably under the heavy air and the occasional cricket chirps. She had a way of doing that to people—unnerving them—and she was surprised she even managed to do it without revealing her identity. Her habit of deriving pleasure from other people's misery was still intact, it seemed. It was just as intact as her tendency to look and pick at her nails when she didn't want to look anywhere else. It also gave her an excuse to keep her head bowed.

"Thank you," Azula said, trying her best not to sound too reluctant.

"So you will go fishing with me tomorrow morning?" Nilak asked, eager to fill the silence between them a little more before it was time to turn in, "Help out an old man in feeding all these people?"

Azula sighed. She wondered when would be the next time she was presented with a chance to attend a feast after she left this leg of her aimless journey behind, and eventually relented. "I'll agree to it, but don't force me out of my own corner."

She heard the waterbender sigh heavily. His disappointment was not her problem, however. She kept her eyes on her nails, slowly picking out the dirt that had accumulated underneath them and wished with all her might that she could pick out all the bad memories that were waiting to pounce on her in the same way. She didn't like the thought of having a nightmare and waking up screaming in a stranger's home.

"Alright then," he said, giving in to the young woman's strange terms, "I think you'll warm up to these people eventually. Will you make a bet with me?"

"Does it include money? Because I have none."

Azula hadn't meant it to be a joke, but the deadpan in her voice caused Nilak to let out a roar of laughter. "I don't gamble that way, but I make bets just for the heck of it from time to time," he explained, "They'll see you as one more addition to the family. That's my bet."

_Family, _she mused bitterly. It was such an ugly word. Azula resisted the urge to roll her eyes, even though she knew full well that he wouldn't be able to see anything.

She was the only one who knew where her relationship with these refugees was headed—nowhere. It was going to hit a brick wall, and it was going to end badly. She almost felt sorry at the sound of hopefulness in his tone, and decided that pacifying him would be best unless she wanted to arouse his suspicions. Of course, Nilak had never actually suspected anything from the moment they met—Azula knew she was just being cautious—perhaps too cautious and too fearful as well. As much as she had craved death in that asylum, being free and out in the open made her realize that she treasured her life more than ever.

This newfound appreciation for living, however, didn't have to necessarily turn her into a saint.

Once, she valued her life because she wanted to rule the Fire Nation and the rest of the world beside her father, and saw triumph waiting for her at the end of the day. She wouldn't have given up her glory for anything else in the world. Now, all Azula wanted was to be free of her past, the war and her father's shadow. She had inwardly desired this freedom from the very beginning, but saw no other way to live except as the princess of the Fire Nation. Now she was no one—nameless, homeless and free of responsibility—and she wasn't going to let anyone take that away from her. She had the whole world before her, with no Avatar to kill and no Zuko to stop her.

"Fine," she said, deciding that arguing or refusing would only make the waterbender speak more, and she was already getting tired of his ramblings, "I'll make that bet."

"There's a good sport," Nilak teased, and clapped his hands together. "Now, you should get some rest. We'll be rising early tomorrow and won't be back here for a few days."

"I don't know how to fish, though," Azula said, getting on her feet, "I think I'm only going to be a hindrance." _I think I'm going to end up drowning myself. _She tried to avoid thinking about how unstable standing on a boat would be, and how far she would be from dry land. She tried not to think at all, in fact.

"Nonsense," Nilak said, "I can teach you how to fish, amongst other things, of course."

"Other things?" repeated Azula, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

Nilak smiled. "I mean, of course, to take you in as my pupil. I know this sounds strange but… I've been waiting for you."

Azula tensed up immediately. There was no way Nilak could have known she was who she was. She hadn't even done any firebending since she left the asylum. Her tracks were covered. Everything was done properly.

"Waiting for me? Why would you be waiting for _me_? Why wait at all?" The water tribesman seemed to sense the panic rising in her voice and quickly reassured her of her fears, whatever they may be.

"Relax," he said hastily, "It's just… I once met someone called Aunt Wu. She was a great fortune teller, and I happened to be curious enough to ask for a reading myself. There, she told me that I would find a young person rising from the ashes of the war, intelligent and a talented individual. That person was to be my pupil, and now I think… that person is you."

Azula bit back her laughter, which was sure to have sounded bitter and disbelieving. "You think… I can learn waterbending from you?" She was incredulous to find out that a man as old as he would even take advice from a fortune teller in the first place. Fate was not something you would cheat on in such a way.

"You don't think you have what it takes to be a bender?" Nilak asked, wondering if that was her lack of confidence speaking.

"No, I'm just not the Avatar," Azula said bluntly, rolling her eyes beneath her hood.

"The Avatar?" he repeated, blinking at her, "So you're already a bender?"

_It's not going to hurt you to tell him. He doesn't even know who you are. _Azula nodded, hoping that her confession would make him reconsider his desire to take her in as his waterbending student.

"I'm… a firebender," she said, stretching the last word to make sure he got the message, as she crossed her arms over her chest, "I can't learn waterbending from you no more than the Fire Lord can."

"That's a shame," Nilak said, rubbing the back of his head, "Well, I suppose Aunt Wu didn't mention waterbending in her prediction…"

Azula felt her patience run thin. "You can think about her prediction by yourself," she said, sighing, "I'm tired, and I wouldn't want to miss the fishing trip tomorrow. Goodnight."

There was certainly something laughable about his belief in the fortune teller's words, but Azula couldn't shake the feeling that she wouldn't be able to rid herself of Nilak just yet. She didn't want to assume, and willed herself to sleep with her back facing him, fighting off the monsters that were trying to claw their way out to the surface.

* * *

Toph Beifong had been walking ever since she got the order to look for Azula two days ago.

She hadn't stopped walking except when she needed sleep, and when she awoke, the first thing that came to her mind was how much the birds _didn't _sound like they were singing—whoever had told her such a thing was surely a liar. The second was the light tremor and pleading in Zuko's voice and his contagiously unsteady heartbeat. He would never have admitted it then, but Toph knew that he was afraid of losing his sister forever. Toph never had siblings of her own—she considered it her misfortune to not have experienced sibling rivalry or a bond like Katara and Sokka's—but she could understand loss. She understood loss the moment she left her own family to follow the Avatar on his crazy journey, and while it was a different kind of loss, it was still separation.

And separation always hurt.

That and she felt the need to support her friend. _You were doing it to protect me, but I'm twelve years old and I've never had a friend. _The words she spoke to her father and mother caterwauled and echoed in the depths of her mind, reminding her of the loneliness that was her only company before she met Aang. She had discovered something so wonderful the day she decided to leave her family behind to follow Twinkle Toes and wondered how she ever survived without knowing the true joy of friendship. Toph treasured them with her life, and decided that all she had to do to show them she appreciated their presence was to help them in any way she could—even if it meant searching for a deranged, former Fire Princess..

It was clearly a bad idea, but she guessed it was wiser to believe that the worse idea would be letting Azula run amok on her own with a constantly deteriorating mental state. At least, that's what she'd heard about the firebending prodigy, right after the war ended. Katara regaled them with the tale once they were reunited and made sure to emphasize how much the princess had crumbled. It was as disturbing as it was pitiful, and now the memory only served as a reminder for Toph to tread carefully if she had the fortune to find the former princess first.

She put her hand in one of her pockets and felt the bison whistle Aang had crafted for her, and was sorely tempted to call them over just so she could rest her feet properly. Of course, as luck would have it, the moment she pulled out the bison whistle and brought it to her lips, a quiver in the earth below her feet distracted her completely. There was a village up ahead, and there were lots of people and even more movement. It seemed to be one of the villages on the outskirts of the main city, built by survivors of the war and people who just couldn't bring themselves to remain within the walls of the caldera anymore, despite the change in leadership.

This community seemed like it was preparing for a large-scale event, and Toph decided that it wouldn't hurt to drop by, take some food, rough it up with some other kids her age and _maybe _ask around for Azula.

It didn't take her long to reach the heart of the small village, and the rumblings in the earth were more pronounced now. It seemed like everyone was in on whatever party they were going to throw, and Toph decided that this might be the best place for a runaway to blend in.

A few heads turned toward the sixteen-year old and recognized her almost immediately. The same few rushed up to her, much to her disdain. She had no time for pleasantries—she had a job to do. But they didn't know that. No one did, and no one should. The secret of Azula's escape should be kept under wraps for as long as possible, or until someone found Azula and brought her back to—where? Home? The mental facility? Prison? Toph found herself reluctant to think about Azula's fate, and concentrated on trying to drive her admirers away for the moment.

"A timely arrival, Miss Beifong," one man said, sounding quite pleased, "We're all in the middle of our preparations for the monthly feast. Nilak is heading the event, of course, but I'm sure he would love for another guest to be present tomorrow night."

Toph perked up. "Another guest?" she repeated, the tone of surprise in her voice clear as day.

"Oh, right," the same man replied, and the rest began shuffling away. Toph guessed the man had shooed them away, and if that was the case, she was inwardly grateful.

"Nilak recently found a stranger in the village who had come from the main city," the man explained, his voice lowering for some reason, "We haven't met her yet, but Nilak assured us that she's harmless and she was to join us for the celebration tomorrow night. He's told us not to talk about this at all, but there's actually not much to tell."

"Tell me more about her," Toph ordered. Who was the man to refuse the great metalbender, one of the famed heroes of the Hundred Year War? Whatever intentions Toph Beifong had at that moment was not his business to know.

"I don't know much yet," the man replied, "I did talk to Nilak last night. He told me she ran away from the Fire Nation in search of a new life—at least, that's what she told him. She's awfully secretive about her identity, but Nilak said it was probably just trauma. I heard she's a firebender. Nilak seemed disappointed that she was, though…"

Toph nodded as the man spoke, hiding her rising excitement at this new discovery. Azula was probably in this village right now. Toph had to play her cards right, and find the right moment to confront the runaway.

"Interesting," she said, purposefully sounding as though she actually felt the complete opposite. Deciding that she needed some time alone to think about how she should approach their inevitable meeting, Toph flashed a quick smile at the man and walked off.

"Very interesting, indeed."

* * *

Azula decided almost immediately that anything that had to do with water—other than drinking, of course—was most certainly not her thing, least of all fishing. Nilak, on the other hand, reveled in such an activity. It reminded him of home, and Azula secretly envied him. She wished she had something to do that could remind her of home, but she had neither Nilak's fortune nor her own home to miss.

Suddenly, Azula wondered if anyone missed her. It was a strange thing to think about, especially when one is attempting to fish—or at least learn how to. She dismissed the thought almost immediately, though, realizing that for the most part of fishing, it required the fisherman to stay calm, alert and focused. Nilak seemed to be doing it pretty well, while Azula was on the other side of the boat fighting off daydreams and thoughts that relentlessly invaded her idle mind. Fishing was such a chore.

And yet, she found herself wanting to do nothing but fishing—or whatever she was doing with the rod, anyway—at that very moment. She had never felt freer, though she was also a little awkward since the man sitting behind her was still in the dark, but relished the numbered moments she had left. She realized she was using the unsuspecting waterbending master as a way of survival, but that's how it always was for Azula—she had spent most of her life manipulating and using people, sometimes as a means to an end to get what she wanted, or sometimes just for entertainment. If anyone had asked her now if she could see a different way of living back then, she knew she wouldn't have been able to have such a vision.

She was always going to be Azula, the princess born of fire. And Azula always lies.

The only difference right now was that she was no longer a princess. She was now only Azula. It was boring and it didn't suit her very much, but she was aware she didn't have a say no matter how she looked at it. She forced herself to stop thinking about who she had been reduced to—it was far too nice a day for something like this—and took to creating ripples in the water with the tip of her fishing rod. The small waves danced, one after another, and the water seemed to sparkle under the sun. It was strangely hypnotic to watch, but Azula couldn't tear her eyes from it.

"What is your name?" Nilak asked, his deep voice piercing the silence so suddenly that Azula almost lost her grip on the fishing rod. The uniform waves were gone, replaced by uneven, clumsy ones that no longer danced but rather leaped, one after the other. She caught her reflection in the midst of the moving water, and found it to be the same one she saw before—disfigured; unrecognizable.

"I don't have a name," Azula said smoothly. A part of her wondered if that was another one of her lies or simply the truth. A heartbreaking truth, if she were to be honest with herself.

"Everyone has a name." She could hear the gentleness and persuasion in his voice, and thought Nilak would be able to give the Avatar a run for his money. The airbender had always spoken to her like this when he visited her, either alone or with her brother, as though he believed that the soft approach was the answer to getting her attention. While she had never dreamed of being treated in such a manner, especially by someone she considered to be her greatest enemy, a part of her secretly wished he would come back every day and speak to her like that, if only to sustain the illusion that there was someone who loved her.

It wasn't that she loved the Avatar. She could never see herself touching him or letting him touch her—especially not when he's in a relationship with the water tribe witch and even if he wasn't, Azula would rather die a million times over than become his lover—but she so craved affection, so much that she would take whatever she was given, even if it meant being in the presence of someone she didn't even genuinely like. It made her feel like a whore for thinking this way, but a part of her understood the existence of this tireless need. She understood it, but she didn't like it.

"Well, I don't," Azula spat, the vehemence in her voice almost tangible in the air. Sensing Nilak's unease, she let out a long sigh.

"I used to be someone, but now I don't think she and I are the same." The words were clear and articulate, but Azula didn't know whether she should believe them or not. Nevertheless, she went on, "I wish to forget her."

Azula wanted to believe in her own words, but couldn't bring herself to. _Azula always lies. _Her brother's mantra was slowly becoming hers, the words repeating in her head, the deafening ringing reminding her of an unnecessarily large bell. It was a tuneless ring, too, and Azula felt that if she were to ever be an instrument, it would be rusty and hollow, unused for years, and unable to create a simple lullaby. She would strain on forever and ever, her every attempt only reminding her of her ugliness—the beast was snapping at her heels, snarling and licking its chops, gaining on her every time she paused to face herself.

Nilak, on the other hand, seemed to believe her. His hand rested on her shoulder, a place where Ozai's hand should have been so many times before. It was no wonder she didn't flinch from his touch. She often hated unnecessary human interaction. Now, just the opposite was true. Perhaps there was a certain truth to her words, or perhaps it was because the old waterbender was beginning to fill in a hole in her life, a hole she had long forgotten was even there.

"I understand," he said, his voice still as gentle. It sounded almost fatherly, but Azula couldn't be sure what a fatherly tone sounded like. Ozai had never been a father. He was more of her mentor than anything else. "I won't judge you for once being that person. You can tell me."

Azula bit her lip. She wanted to trust in his words, but she couldn't shake the fear away. It was there, taunting her and telling her about all the ways Nilak could kill her right there and then, in the middle of that lake, the moment she lowered her hood. The voice belonged to that of a snake's, Azula thought, and she genuinely wondered if this was the insanity everyone was talking about.

_He will kill you._

"Show me your face," Nilak said quietly; patiently. He was waiting, and there seemed to be no end to his patience. Azula wondered if all old people were like this—infuriatingly uncomplaining and tolerant all the time. If that were the case, she would rather die young. The lake seemed to tempt her. Even the waterbender's abilities tempted her. The snake's voice persisted.

_He will slice through your body with his waterbending. He will feed you back to the lake afterwards, and he will enjoy watching you suffer._

_Because you made him suffer._

Azula closed her eyes and tried blocking out the sinister whispering at the back of her mind. She tried focusing on Nilak's voice instead, though it didn't do much to take away the rising uneasiness within her spirit.

"I want to," she murmured, as though they were surrounded by people and the only person she wanted to hear her was him, "But this isn't easy for me." She wrung her hands and felt her toes curl up uncomfortably. Nothing had been easy since the moment she stepped out of her own asylum, her own personal prison.

Nilak fell silent. He took to waiting instead. Azula hated the silence. It meant that he was leaving it all up to her now. She didn't want him to leave it up to her. She wanted him to push further and _make _her lower the hood. But he didn't.

It reminded her of the nights when the Avatar visited her, and just took to sitting there in front of her and watching her, waiting for her to say something so that he knew she was still there. Azula was always there, though—she just didn't want to give him or anyone else the pleasure of knowing it.

"You'll regret it." Her tone was full of monition.

Nilak seemed to possess even Aang's ridiculously infuriating optimism. "Why don't you take off that hood and see if I _do _regret it?"

Azula let out a low hiss and finally turned around to face the waterbender. Aggravation surged through her veins as she watched him from under her hood. She hated it when people made promises they couldn't keep. Ursa had been one of those people. It seemed that Nilak was showing her what she truly wanted from both her father and mother, but she knew better. She knew this wouldn't last the moment she showed her face to him.

Several thoughts invaded her quiet mind and her lips twisted into a smile. A part of her wanted to see the look of terror on his face. Another part of her knew that there was a chance she would be granted death. She liked taking risks—it was a game she knew well, although for the most part, she had always figured out her opponent first. She always won. Now, she was playing a game where she didn't know if she would emerge the winner or not. She didn't even know what winning looked like.

And she decided that that was the best part of it all.

Her hand reached up to the tip of her hood and she lifted it up until the sunlight hit her face and her golden eyes blazed like the sun.


	4. The Fallen Princess

Less talk, more action! That's kind of been my mantra for the past few days, pushing me so hard to do this story, its characters and main pairing absolute justice. This update came early because I decided I had to inform you guys about the direction I'm taking this story in, just so no one gets confused or thrown off balance…

In this story so far, we've been following Azula closely as she makes her escape and unfortunately ends up as an unwilling companion of the old waterbending master, Nilak. She hasn't displayed any indicators of insanity yet, and I'm only just skimming the surface of her personality. Toph and Azula will meet very, _very _soon so hold on to your socks.

I will be honest and tell you guys firsthand that I'm not going to portray our fire princess like the Azula in The Promise. As much as she was driven into madness, I don't believe for one second that she's lost her grip, entirely, on who she is. I'm not saying Azula is perfectly sane – she has after all gone through a lot more trauma than any other character in ATLA – but I _am _saying she's angry, alone and lost. Keywords here being 'alone' and 'lost'. These are the driving forces that will spark her feelings for our badass earthbender.

Ooh, I'm probably saying too much, here. But I suppose it had to be said, because I'd be awfully flustered if people started asking me things like "why doesn't she seem like she just came out of the asylum?" or "it looks like she only spent four days in there."

That being said, it's going to take more than just a few kisses and hugs from Toph to make it all better and there are a range of characters that will, in the chapters to come, help Azula come to terms with her internal conflict. We will also descend further into Azula's POV as the story progresses and stop concentrating on the other minor characters'.

With that, I present to you the fourth chapter, and I thank you all again for your guidance, inspiration and encouragement. Without you guys, there's no road to improvement. You are my driving force, never forget that!

Happy _not _Saturday :)

(P.S. I will be updating again on Friday, as it marks the end of my final exams for the semester, followed shortly by another update on my favorite day of the week. Enjoy this little bonus!)

* * *

**4**

She was confounded to watch his fear pass as quickly as it had come, like a sudden strike of lightning that had caught her unaware. She studied him intently; her view no longer obstructed by the hood, and found that there was nothing but a look of serenity in his eyes. Normally, she would have been intrigued—anyone who had ever been in her presence only knew how to fear and respect her—but now she was just confused.

The waterbender let out a small sigh and walked over to Azula's side and reached out for something beside her—the fishing rod she had inadvertently dropped a moment ago—and pulled it out of the water.

"You're lucky it didn't sink all the way," he said, pointing at the reel that clung unto the side of the boat, "That would be a waste of a good rod."

Azula frowned, the daggers in her eyes growing sharper by the second. This wasn't what she expected. And everything always went the way she expected them to.

"Don't you know who I am?" she asked hotly, stepping sideways so that she was right in front of Nilak. The waterbender turned fisherman blinked at her, as though she had just posed the most ridiculous question ever. He brought his hand up to his beard and stroked it, and pretended to look at her from different angles as though he was trying to figure out an appropriate answer to return her. His scrutiny annoyed her beyond words, and she felt sure that he was trying to make fun of her, but she stopped herself from lashing out at him with fire as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Do you know who you are?" Nilak asked. Her steely gaze lingered, before it withered all too easily. _This doesn't make sense._ She'd expected him to drown her in the lake and watch the life leave her eyes as she died, and then return to the village to announce the death of the woman who had ruined the lives of so many people with her ruthlessness and sadistic ways. They would, then, truly have a feast and a great celebration to boot. But none of that was happening. Azula couldn't figure out why.

"Don't play games with me," Azula warned, glaring at the old waterbender, "I am Princess—" She stopped herself, remembering that she no longer had that title. So what was she without the title?

Her hands lost their strength and they fell to her sides limply. "I don't know." The defeated words are out of her mouth before she even realized it. It sounded like the words belonging to someone else. "I don't know," she said again, her voice barely a whisper this time. She sat back down on the boat and looked utterly downcast for a moment, and watched Nilak as he turned his back for a moment to check on their catch.

"If you don't know," the waterbender began, as he turned to face her again with a fish hanging off a hook in his hand, "then how am I supposed to answer your question?"

Azula scowled with an air of a child being proven wrong. She drew her knees close to her chest and hugged them tightly, refusing to meet Nilak's eye. Heat was practically rolling off her. She was angry, and firebenders burned like the sun when they were angry. She just didn't know what she was angry about, or who she was angry at.

"I'm the one who ruined the lives of thousands in the war," she hissed, her self-loathing returning with every syllable, as one hand waved angrily in the air, "I'm the one who burned down countless homes. I'm the one who conquered Ba Sing Se. I'm the daughter of Ozai, the man who would have been Phoenix King if it weren't for the Avatar—" She stopped midway in her sentence as a sob escaped her lips, surprising both her and Nilak. Immediately, she lowered her face into her hands. She had never cried before. At least, not since she turned ten. The only one who kept crying was Zuko, not her. She doesn't cry anymore.

And yet, here she was, sobbing in front of a stranger who should have killed her ten minutes ago.

She quickly swept the back of her hand across her face in a feeble attempt to stop the tears from flowing and turned her back to Nilak. Her eyes shut tightly, eyelids like floodgates, and her throat constricted painfully.

_Pathetic._

In her mind's eye, she was crying in front of Ozai. Suddenly, she was fourteen-years old again and was standing in the vast and magnificent throne room, before the man whose eyes she had inherited. Despite that, she felt nothing like the man sitting before her, his flames burning hotter and hotter by the second. Azula found herself choking as she tried suppressing her sobs, something Ozai did not find particularly impressive. He always hated weakness in people—what more in his children? His favored child?

Ozai's displeasure could be felt even from where he was sitting. The distance between father and daughter didn't matter. He could be halfway across the world and Azula would still feel his disappointment and disgust. She seemed to shrink as she took a small step back, her head bowed the entire time.

"I'm sorry…" Her sobs echoed louder than explosions and cannon fire. She wanted to block the disgusting sounds out, but there was no point. Ozai was there, and he could hear every single thing.

His golden eyes held no love for her. It was no surprise, of course. No one's eyes had _ever _held love for her.

None but Zuzu's.

So where was he now?

"What is the point of an apology, Azula?" She could pick up every layer of contempt in her father's voice. It shook her to the core, and she crumbled almost immediately, falling to her knees. Through her tears she could see her worthlessness in her reflection on the floor. Her fingernails dragged across the face that looked back at her. She couldn't blame Ozai for feeling disgusted at all.

"You know I cannot allow weakness to infect my family. My bloodline." The intentions in his words were clear. Azula understood them completely, and lifted her head and forced herself to look into his eyes, the ones that she, too, possessed.

"I know, father," she said, her voice cracking at the last word.

Ozai studied her quietly. It was a silence she did not welcome. She knew he already had an answer to his problem. He just wanted her to figure it out for herself.

Azula swallowed hard, and her eyes darted from left to right before returning to meet her father's stony gaze. "I will pay the price for weakness."

"Good." The delight in his voice made her sick to the bone. It was almost as though he was singing a song, celebrating the cleansing of his family bloodline, "And pay it in full, you will."

Her heart dropped to her stomach when she watched him rise from his throne and walk through the flames. He truly looked like a dragon in that moment. Azula watched, a part of her in complete awe, as her father came closer and got down on one knee so he was almost level with her.

She was sure he could hear her frantic heartbeat as he placed his hand on her shoulder and gripped it with such a sudden force that she flinched. His piercing gaze sent shivers down her spine and she eventually heard herself apologizing profusely and doing the one thing she swore she wouldn't.

She was begging for her life.

Her pleading, however, fell on deaf ears. Ozai pulled her close to him and locked her in a tight embrace with one arm and placed his lips at her ear.

"Don't cry, my child. I forgive you," he whispered.

Azula felt something sharp plunge into her stomach as her father's maniacal laughing filled the throne room, ricocheting off the walls and coming back to Azula a thousand times louder. She felt him release his grip on her as she fell sideways and hit the ground, somehow welcoming the darkness that was rapidly claiming her.

* * *

When she awoke, the first thing she saw was the old waterbender at her side. When had she even fallen asleep? His back was turned to her, packing up their catch from the fishing trip. Azula knew she should have been dead, one way or another. But as luck would have it, she was still alive. She looked away from Nilak and took to staring at the ceiling instead, trying to brush off the haunting image of a murderous Ozai that was continuously hissing at her in her head.

She brought a hand to her forehead and felt an ice pack present—or at least, that's what it must have been before it melted. Azula let out a long, quiet sigh.

She didn't know if she was the luckiest person in the world, or just the complete opposite.

Azula removed the useless pack on her forehead and flung a few feet away from where she was lying. _It's all about perspective._

She wished she fever would claim her faster than Nilak could heal her, but she had no such luck. She was going to live, and it was because this man was foolish enough to spare her life and show her a kindness that she could never repay.

Without thinking, she broke the silence. "How long have I been unconscious?"

There was no surprise in his voice as he replied, "About over ten hours. That was one of the worst fevers I've ever tried to treat."

Azula turned over on her side and faced her back to him, her suddenly heavy head making it hard for her to want to move again.

"Why didn't you just kill me right there and then?" she asked begrudgingly, making small scratches on the wooden floorboard absently with her forefinger. Her voice was full of defeat and resignation. She told herself that it was the fever doing its work, and that she would be back to normal once it went away. The weakness was spreading inside her like a plague, and she felt her body growing heavier and heavier by the minutes. "It would've been all too easy."

"I had no reason to," Nilak replied simply. It was a strange thing to hear, especially from someone who had fought and lost on the Day of Black Sun. She wondered if the war had driven this man mad. It would be a good explanation for his passive and tame behavior.

"You are a fool," she said, trying her best to sound like she knew better than him. She told herself that she did, and that he was making the worst mistake of his life, as sleep slowly came back to claim her when he started his healing again. The sensation soothed Azula so much that she drifted off quietly, without complaint, and for the first time in a long time, there was a stillness in the dark that she had never known before.

* * *

Toph was surprised to find that the old waterbender, Nilak, back in the village a day early. He was supposed to return by tomorrow afternoon, just in time for the final preparations for the celebration tomorrow night. She couldn't care less about his timing, though. All she was concerned about was getting to Azula as quickly as possible and retrieve her without stirring up a mess. That was why she went up to him the moment she sensed an opening and effectively cornered him.

She could sense his heartbeat becoming irregular as he realized just exactly who it was that had just approached him. Toph put on her sweetest smile.

"Nilak," she greeted with a bow, "How nice to see you again."

"Toph," Nilak drew back slightly, his voice effortlessly calm, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just happened to drop by, since I was in the area," Toph answered, casually brushing a loose strand of hair back into its place, "I heard you guys are throwing a feast tomorrow night. I'd like to stay until then and gather a progress report at the same time for Fire Lord Zuko. He's concerned about the welfare of his people, or people in general who are in his turf. How's this old place holding up?"

"We would be most honored to have you as our guest tomorrow night," Nilak beamed and patted the young woman on the shoulder. Just one touch was enough, and Toph could feel his apprehension from a mile away. He was hiding something, and she knew exactly what it was—or in this case, _who _it was. "We're settling in well. The produce this season has been immensely satisfactory and I've had a day or two to do some fishing myself. Now that the war is over, we're gradually returning to a life of normalcy."

If, by normalcy, Nilak had meant that he'd just found the Fire Lord's sister in his cart a few days ago and effectively provided sanctuary for her, away from the eyes of the people, then _yes_, he was completely spot on.

"That's great and all, but didn't I hear a while back that you had another guest in the village too? Where is he? Or she?" Toph cut to the chase, unwilling to waste time when her target was right here, under her very nose. She felt her sky bison whistle in her pocket and prayed that she could use it soon.

"Another guest?" repeated Nilak, feigning ignorance. Toph heard him clear his throat, "I don't know what you're talking about. The one the villagers saw a few days ago has already moved on from this place. She told me she couldn't stay long."

Toph Beifong was a master of earthbending and the pioneer of metalbending. There were thousands of people scattered across all four nations who knew that, especially the old waterbending master that now stood before her with a heart beating like a stampede of wild animals. What everyone else—aside from her friends and her unfortunate victims—didn't know was that she was a pretty good lie detector as well.

"Don't waste my time, old man," she said, dropping all formalities (not that she had used much to begin with), "I know Azula is here, and I want you to bring me to her _now_."

Realizing that the metalbender had seen right through his lie—the irony was not lost on him here—Nilak quickly apologized. "I am sorry, Toph, but I'm afraid I can't do that."

Toph stomped her foot impatiently. Somewhere, a few feet away from them, a man tripped over a rock that appeared out of nowhere.

"And why not? I was sent here by the Fire Lord himself to take back his sister," she said incisively, keeping her voice low and even so other villagers wouldn't pick up on their conversation, "No one even knows what she's really up to and you're cutting her a lot of slack considering who she is. I don't know what you're trying to play at, but believe me when I say that you're putting these people in danger by letting her stay. She doesn't belong here."

"And she doesn't belong back there," Nilak countered, his tone placating but insistent. "Please, understand me when I say this, but this Azula is not the one you knew from the war."

"I don't care who she is or what she's become," Toph rolled her eyes, "All I know is that she's still important to the Fire Lord and I suggest you respect his wishes."

"You don't understand what the poor girl is going through," Nilak sounded manifestly desperate at this juncture, "I wouldn't expect you to, anyway. You obviously still see her as your enemy."

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong," Toph shrugged and paused for a moment to check if anyone was eavesdropping. When there was no one to be found too close, she continued, "But more than anything, I see her as merely the sister of my friend who is somewhere out there on a damn sky bison yelling out her name until his lungs give in. Or at least, that's what it looks like in my head. Zuko's been on edge ever since he realized she left the Fire Nation without his permission. And I may not understand Azula right now and I probably never will, but my objective is to retrieve her and return her to safety before she hurts herself or anyone else."

Nilak sighed heavily and rested his hands on his hips. The metalbender had him cornered into a stalemate, and even he had to admit that there was an undeniable truth in her words. He had, by some stroke of luck, not met with death at the hands of the firebender since the beginning, but that was not enough to prove that she wasn't thinking of killing someone else. War had a way of bringing out the worst and bitterest part of you, and it made sense to believe that Azula's target—if any—was her own brother. It made sense, but it wasn't true.

Azula had practically chased death the moment she chose to stay with Nilak. There was something to be said about such a thoughtless decision, and it said that the fallen princess was on the brink of giving up completely. That was no attitude of a scheming member of the royal family. That was no attitude of someone who wanted the throne for herself.

Nilak raised his head and observed the people before him, watching them rebuild their lives one step at a time without insecurity, and his eyes eventually fell upon a group of children playing in the center of the bustling village. Shame crept up on him as one of them flashed him a blinding smile, and he pretended not to notice as he turned back to Toph.

He had never disregarded their safety since the moment they put their trust in him until now. The appearance of Azula had been unexpected, but his choice to let her stay and endanger the lives of the people under his protection and leadership was something he couldn't excuse as unexpected—no, this was sheer stupidity on his part.

He wrung his hands and let out an exasperated sigh, unsure of how things had come to this. "You're right," he said finally, "It was wrong of me to keep her here."

Toph sighed, grateful that there was finally something they agreed on. "I'm glad you understand. I know you think you can change her by giving her freedom and everything, but the fact of the matter is, none of these people would agree with you on that. I don't know who would, but I know most of them wouldn't. You cannot expect them to pull someone who ruined their lives and destroyed their homes into a big group hug and sweep all of her atrocities under the rug. They're not you."

"You speak the truth," Nilak let out a tired laugh and slapped his hand to his forehead, "Look at this old man, still trying to save lives like he actually has a clue. Sixty-two years of living and I still don't know what I'm doing."

Toph couldn't help but smile. "You saved everyone's lives today by telling me the truth," she sniffed and rubbed her nose as the heavy pepper scent reached her, "I think we'd better hurry. I'll take her and then we can leave. I don't think the menu's going to agree with my stomach tonight."

Nilak thought of the sick firebender in his house and shook his head. "I can't let you do that just yet. She's having a terrible fever, and is constantly drifting in and out of sleep. Travel would be detrimental to her health."

"Aren't you a waterbending master that's _also _a healer?" Toph asked indignantly, not believing her luck, "Why isn't she well yet?"

"There is only so much a healer can do," Nilak said, almost poignantly. He cast his eyes in the direction of his home, "She isn't letting herself get better."

Toph groaned and dragged a hand down her face. She leaned against the wall behind her and her lips stretched into a tight, thin line, carefully considering her options.

The people here seemed occupied enough, and there was no real suspicion surfacing at the moment. Toph realized that this would be as good a time as any to have Appa at her side now, because if she wanted to bring Azula back to the palace in one piece, she needed medicine. It was clear she wasn't going to find any in this place, which left the other outlying colonies that were closer to the caldera.

She moved away from the wall and made to walk off, hoping that by the time she came back, nothing would have changed and Azula would still be bedridden.

"I'll go get the medicine she needs," Toph chimed, waving nonchalantly to Nilak, "If that's what it's gonna take to bring her back, then I'll do it."

"Fine," Nilak relented, but made no effort to hide the fear and apprehension in his voice. "But be warned, she might not like seeing you again."

"No worries," Toph said loudly, already leaving the waterbender far behind, "I can handle Fire Lily."

* * *

"We checked all the houses," Aang said, approaching the camp with Sokka alongside him, "Azula isn't there."

"How exactly did you manage to inspect _all _the houses without causing any trouble?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow at the teenage monk and her brother.

Aang grinned from ear to ear. "I'm the Avatar! People love it when I visit," he said cheerfully, "I distracted the people while Sokka did all the inspecting."

Katara rolled her eyes. "Isn't that considered breaking in?" she asked, her disapproving stare unnerving the airbender and Sokka almost immediately. It was the stare of a mother who was about to lecture her children. For a half-second, Aang didn't feel like he was looking at the girl he had fallen in love with.

"What-_ever_, Katara," Sokka said, throwing his hands up in the air and walking over to his sleeping bag, "At least we made sure Azula wasn't there. That's one less place we have to suspect. For all we know, she could be somewhere holed up in a cave or even underground gathering her own little minions and planning a great coup!"

A frustrated groan from the corner of their small campsite interrupted the siblings' banter. All three heads turned to Zuko at once, and found the young Fire Lord with his face buried in his hands. Aang was the first to approach his friend and sat down noiselessly next to him.

"Don't _say _something like that! You haven't seen her, Sokka," Zuko huffed, "I don't even know if we'll find her now and you're telling me she might be out there plotting my death? It's not exactly _helping _my case!"

"Sokka, don't assume such things about Azula," Katara placed a hand atop her brother's and shook her head.

The older water tribe native sighed. "That was a joke!" He caught the glare coming from his sister and Aang and corrected himself hastily, "Or not. I mean—I'm just… I don't like this, okay? It's just pretty unsettling knowing she's out there but _not _knowing what she's up to! Doesn't that bother _anyone_?"

"It bothers me a great deal, Sokka," Zuko said, sighing, "But she… isn't the same person anymore. I just can't see her planning a coup."

"Let's hope for all of our sakes that she's become a little less obsessed with power," Sokka absently fed Momo a dead insect as he said this. He considered Zuko's expression for a moment and realized that that hadn't been the best thing to say, and his expression turned contrite. "Look, I'm sorry about that outburst and the one before that, you know, about her deserving death and everything. To be completely honest, Zuko, I'm scared she _does _end up hurting someone. I'm scared you're wrong, and that she's no different from Princess Spitfire from four years ago."

"Spitfire," Aang scratched his head, his expression thoughtful. "I think Toph can appreciate that."

This elicited some light laughter, but Zuko still hadn't joined in. In fact, the look on his face told them that he hadn't even been listening at all after Sokka finished speaking. His hands were clasped together rather tightly, and his head was bowed in such a way that he looked like he was praying. Aang and Katara exchanged looks the silence grew thicker, punctuated occasionally by the rustle of the leaves in the wind, or the chirping of birds and insects alike.

"Zuko," Aang said, and the Fire Lord looked up sharply at him as though he had just interrupted his most important thought process. The tears in his eyes had said otherwise, of course. Zuko had been worrying himself to the brink of tears, and he'd never shed a single one ever since he stepped up as Fire Lord.

"Hey, Zuko, we still have Toph and all your search parties, right?" Aang flashed his biggest smile, but it waned when he saw the unchanging look in Zuko's eyes. Inwardly, he hoped Toph had some good news. They needed all the good news they could get right now.

Katara was the next to approach them. "Don't lose hope," she smiled down at him like the sun, "Not unless we have a solid reason to."

Zuko remained tight-lipped and his eyes flicked elsewhere, lost in thought. It took him a while before he found his voice again, but his friends were still as patient as ever.

"We don't have any indication that she's still alive, or even in the region," Zuko spluttered, running his hands through his hair, "What if some people found her and decided they'd do the very thing I couldn't do—execute her? What if… what if she killed herself? What if she—"

He stopped himself halfway to wipe away the tears that were already streaming down his face. He was visibly ashamed that he was crying, even if it was in front of his closest friends, and felt like digging a hole in the earth so he could bury himself in it forever. As human as he was, he was still the current Fire Lord. The propriety of a Fire Lord left him with little room for emotional vulnerability and weakness. Such a sight would be demeaning in the eyes of the world. In the eyes of his father.

Zuko could already hear the voice of Ozai in his head, taunting and jeering. He was sure he looked as crestfallen as he looked shamefaced.

He then thought of fourteen-year old Azula, sneering at him and mocking him for being a weakling. He wondered if she was still the person she used to be, even after all that time cooped up in the mental facility he had erected on the island just off the coast of the Fire Nation. Zuko suddenly realized that he didn't know her anymore and his hands balled tightly into fists. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to crush the rock he was sitting on. He wanted to burn down the trees that surrounded them.

Or maybe he just wanted to punch himself in the face. There were so many things he had already done wrong, and he was on his way to more.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with her when we find her." The words were out of his mouth before he understood them, and found them to be true. "I don't know what to say to her anymore. I haven't seen her in months. Even Aang visited her more often than I did! I was… I was scared. I didn't want to see her, even though I knew she needed me. I know she'd never admit it because she'd rather die, but I knew what she needed. And I didn't even have the decency to give her what she needed from _me_. I'm a failure as an older brother. I can't do this!"

Flames erupted from his fist as he directed it towards the trees. He watched the leaves go up in flames for a few seconds before Aang rushed forth to put out the flames with a mighty gust of wind. Zuko shook his head at his own actions and sat back down on the rock he had been occupying all this time. Momo crept up on him and made itself comfortable on the Fire Lord's shoulder before giving him an affectionate lick.

"Thanks, Momo," Zuko said appreciatively, scratching the creature behind the ears. He looked up at his friends and realized that they were looking down at him with concern. Again, he avoided their gaze. "I'm sorry. I lost it for a moment, there."

"It's okay," Aang said as he sat down next to Zuko again. "I wouldn't have expected you to hold it all in forever."

"Yeah, I guess," Zuko murmured, and then said no more. He looked up at the moon and thought of his sister, and wondered where she was. He wondered if she was also looking up at the giant orb in the sky and thinking of him, too. It was then that Zuko realized that his heart would break if Azula ever forgot him, and prayed a silent, desperate prayer to the moon spirit. _Take a message to her. Tell her big brother's coming for her. Tell her it'll be okay. Tell her she can trust me. Tell her—_

His breathing hitched as he fought back more tears.

_Tell her I love her._

He hadn't told his little sister he loved her ever since he turned ten. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but Ozai had turned little 'Zula into a girl he barely recognized anymore. The then Fire Lord had taken Azula away from him and raised her separately, leaving Zuko with Ursa for the most part of their lives. Ozai had imparted his ambitions and visions unto a girl who was barely eight, and he had turned her into someone else. Zuko remembered the first time he spoke to her—not 'Zula, but Princess Azula, Ozai's pride and joy. Ozai's favorite. Ozai's prodigy.

"'_Zula!" he called out, his heart lifting at the sight of his baby sister. She was no longer a baby, but he still loved calling her his baby sister. He hadn't seen her in months, and the moment he'd received word of Ozai's return, along with the fire princess, he went straight for her room._

"_What is it, Zuzu?" The words were the exact same ones she had always used to answer him, but there was something different about her tone. There was something different about her altogether. Zuko couldn't figure it out until little Azula turned around to face her older brother. Looking into her eyes, Zuko found no indication that 'Zula was home. It was almost as though he was looking into Ozai's eyes, and he took a timid step forward._

"_Spit it out, brother!" Azula demanded, her ferocity making him flinch, "I don't have time for a long, loving conversation. Father wants me in the throne room in an hour so I can show grandfather how much I've improved." _

_Zuko suddenly found it very hard to speak to the girl standing before him. "So… how much _have _you improved?" he asked, half curious and half afraid that this topic wouldn't be intriguing enough to make this stranger stay a while longer._

_Azula's lips twisted into a smile very reminiscent of Ozai's. Zuko wished he'd never see it again._

"_Let me show you," she said smoothly, her voice dripping with a false sweetness that sent chills down the Crown Prince's spine._

_Within the blink of an eye, Azula went into the proper firebending stance and punched her fist towards the space beside Zuko's head, sending blue flames past his face. Zuko let out a yelp of surprise and terror and fell to the ground, shaking from the intense heat emanating from his sister's unique flame. It amazed him as much as it terrified him. He secretly wondered if there was anything left of the 'Zula he knew before Ozai took her away._

"_Well?" Azula crossed her arms over her chest as her sinister smile returned, "What do you think?"_

_Zuko swallowed hard. "It… it's impressive."_

"_I'm glad you think so," Azula said, nodding, and started walking out the room, "Go and play with the girls, Zuzu. And don't wait up for me."_

"'_Zula…" the Crown Prince whispered, horrified at his sister's transformation. He had never hated Ozai so much until that very moment when he realized that his baby sister was gone forever._

"'Zula," he heard himself whisper. It caught the attention of the three people sitting with him around the fire. He hadn't realized they'd moved.

"Is that what you used to call her?" Katara asked. Fascination flashed across her face as she exchanged looks with her brother and Aang.

Zuko nodded. "I stopped calling her that when I turned ten," he said grimly, and took to drawing circles in the earth to distract himself from the memories, "She made it clear that she no longer liked it."

"So she used to like it?" Aang's blue-gray eyes were filled with a childish curiosity. It reminded Zuko of Azula, when she was much younger. When Ozai hadn't gotten to her yet.

"She did," Zuko replied, nodding, "In all of her eighteen years of living, I think she only loved me for nine years. Half her life." The pain was evident in his voice, and Katara placed her hand on top of his in an act of comfort.

"That is nothing you can't change," Katara told him. The look in her eyes told Zuko that she wasn't lying. He hoped she was right. "You've always loved her, haven't you?"

Zuko felt hot tears stinging his eyes again at Katara's question. There was no need for an answer. Why else would he have locked her away from the world? It wasn't because he was keeping a great danger away from the world. If he wanted to do that, he would have executed her right there and then, after their Agni Kai. He was keeping the world away from her, and protected whatever sanity she still had left. He didn't want anyone to put anymore ideas into her head. It would only end up hurting her more, and the last thing he wanted to see was his baby sister falling to pieces one more time.

"Of course I do."

"So tell her that when you see her," Aang said, smiling. "And if she doesn't listen the first time, tell her again."

For the first time in days, Zuko's lips stretched into a smile worthy of the Avatar's.


	5. Savior

Welcome back to yet another non-Saturday update! I'm especially happy today because my final examinations are over and I'm finally on a 2 month vacation!

Again, I thank you all for your continued support and guidance, I am definitely feeling myself improving every time as a result. You guys are gold to me, I swear.

* * *

**5**

"Why can't you just let me die?"

The words seemed to have a distasteful effect on Nilak as he placed a fresh ice pack on Azula's forehead. She looked at him, through half-lidded, tired eyes as he tilted his head to the side curiously. Then, just as fast as it appeared, the curiosity disappeared, replaced with sagely amusement.

She felt a callused hand make contact with the side of her neck and lingered for a moment before it pulled away. "Hm," Nilak seemed to hum thoughtfully, his eyes reflecting worry that seemed to be creeping into Azula's skin. It was warm; caring. It set her completely on the edge.

Nilak didn't seem to notice her apparent unease and sat back down on the ground and crossed his legs together, all the while keeping his considerate gaze on her. His blue eyes were warm and soft, lacking the hostility and hate that _should _be present—a sight Azula could not take in without wondering if she was dreaming. Everything felt dreamlike to her, and she told herself it was because of the fever that she was feeling like she was going through an out-of-body experience.

"Why would you want to die?" he asked, discernibly disturbed, "It's not something most young women like you should want."

Azula laughed half-heartedly, as her head started to spin again. "I'm not like most young women, then."

"Clearly," the waterbender muttered, leaning back with a mystified look in his eyes, "The princess of the Fire Nation… I never expected you to show up ever again after the war, and here you are, down with a terrible fever and asking for my permission to die."

Her golden eyes flashed treacherously for a moment.

"I didn't ask," she said defensively, his words reminding her of how she was practically screaming for someone to enter her cell and kill her a week ago. She kept her arms tightly crossed and her body rigid, as though she was hoping the shame would bounce off her.

Presently, however, she knew she had no true reason to be ashamed, unless she had been talking in her sleep. The thought screeched in her ears, like a note played wrongly. She reflexively dug her ear and forced herself to return to the conversation. "I am also no longer the princess, so you don't have to stand on ceremony."

To her shock, the old man let out a laugh that seemed to have come right from the middle of his belly. For a moment, it looked like he was about to double over like a teenage boy. Absurdly enough, the image of Sokka, the water tribe boy, surfaced in her mind. She shot daggers at him and seethed silently, offended at his lack of seriousness in the matter.

"If I were you, I wouldn't be so relaxed," she said, her voice laced with malice and warning, "You'd be a fool to let down your guard around me." It didn't sound convincing, even to her ears, but she held her pointed look.

Nilak's eyes flicked upwards for a moment, as though he was trying to let the words sink in before speaking. Azula knew better—there was a part of that old man that wanted to poke fun at her at every turn. Her fingernails scraped the wooden floorboard below her, just like how the man's attitude was grinding at her patience. She felt an irritation clinging to her skin; one that she felt sure had to be ripped out physically to be completely rid of, reminiscent of the one she often felt towards the Avatar and his big, goofy grin.

"I'm a fool for even letting you into my home in the first place," Nilak said flatly, with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes, "Your behavior was nothing but suspicious the moment I discovered you hidden amongst my shopping."

"And yet here we are," Azula said, dragging the last few words for emphasis, her withering glare never leaving her face. "You certainly aren't taking this very seriously."

The urge to dispel his overbearing demeanor was hard to fight; every now and then, her fingers clawed at the inside of her bedroll whenever she caught sight of his gaze, saturated with teeming confidence. If she wanted to, she could make him regret it all in a second—her blue flames would all but dry him up like a leaf.

Somewhere, on a different plane, the old spirits were laughing at _her_.

"So it would seem," Nilak said, but made no indication that he had really felt the weight of her words, "Or maybe you're just taking yourself too seriously."

"Are you trying to court death?"

"Well, don't ask yourself something you already have the answer to," Nilak deflected it all too easily, his face crinkling with mirth.

She was sure her eyes were colored red now. "I'm getting tired of your wit," she spat the words out like poison, "You have been absolutely nothing but an insult to me from the start, from the moment you decided not to kill me, and I can only hope that you're stalling for time because you want a larger audience for when you—"

"Come off it," Nilak said brusquely, flicking his hand in her direction, "I thought I made it clear from the start that I wasn't going to kill you."

"You made it clear, but you had no reason! You have all the reasons to kill me, but you are selfishly ignoring it—"

"Selfish?" Blue eyes hardened as they met with her flaming, golden ones, "How exactly am I _selfish_?"

"By not leaving me when you should have, by keeping me a secret," her fist pounded painfully into the ground, "by being just like my own brother! You might as well chain me up and put me back in that wretched asylum!"

Nilak clicked his tongue. "I'm beginning to see the reason why he did that in the first place."

"Don't try and justify his grip on me! I am nothing but a useless husk, and my existence still persists because _he _wanted to show the world that he is nothing like Ozai—that he is as heroic, righteous and so very kind, just like the Avatar," Azula lifted her voice just at the very end, as though she was trying to force out an infectious disease from her system using sheer will, "It was never because—"

The splitting headache returned without warning and the pounding filled her ears; her world began to spin out of control. Rage was extinguished by agony, and she threw her head back against the pillow, immediately regretting it afterwards—a vengeful pain tore through her skull, her entire body angry at the abuse Azula was throwing at herself. A part of her wished it would swallow her whole. Fate, however, would not allow it.

"You need to stop talking so much and control your temper," nagged Nilak, reaching out to her ice pack with one finger outstretched. Relieving coldness seemed to enter even her blood, and heat rushed out from her body in one long breath. Her heartbeats were surely numbered, ticking in her ears and counting down to when she would ignite and deliver herself from her labored actuality. If it was even possible, she was getting hotter by the hour. "Your medication will be here soon, I hope."

Almost predictably, a faint but soothing sensation blanketed the top of her head and chased away the throbbing pain.

"You sent for the doctor here?" Azula's voice was already weakening considerably. She let out a long puff of air, half-expecting flames to rise from the depths of her mouth at any moment.

Nilak grimaced, and Azula could swear she saw disappointment—the kind that you would direct at yourself—rising to the surface of his countenance. "I _am _the doctor here," he said, shaking his head, "And I'm afraid there's only so much I can do for you. Someone else has gone to get the medicine for you from the royal city."

"I don't trust most of the doctors there, even if that city _is _where all the nobles live," Azula said, rolling her eyes, "Let's hope I die from this fever before the medicine gets here." She reached down to the top of the blanket that enveloped her, and tugged absently at a loose thread, watching the cloth unravel as surely as her mind was, wondering who it was exactly that the old waterbender had sent to retrieve the medication for her. There didn't seem to be many people Nilak could trust, especially since it's a war criminal he was attempting to heal.

"You don't seem to trust anyone at all. Also, I see a lifetime of luxury has blinded you to the talents of the common people," Nilak observed, a hint of a smile on his face, "You have much to learn."

The words hit Azula like a fist to the gut. To be treated as an inexperienced girl, as though she never once felt the fires of war, as though she never once met with the feeling of desperation, loss and hollowing desolation, her heart rupturing every time she thought of the people that tossed her aside when they'd had enough of her—she'd learned enough.

_I love Zuko more than I fear you._

Love outweighed fear, with the right person. Love is a far more potent motivator. That was what she learnt, then. Even before that, she remembered a girl, barely nine, learning something else.

_What is wrong with that child?_

Love was not something she had. It slipped from her grasp every time she thought she got closer to catching it, and she learned to give up on chasing that elusive commodity.

As far as she saw it, her life was riddled with lessons, all teaching her the same thing. They became her truth, her ball and chain.

There was, really, nothing left to learn.

"Spare me the lectures," she drawled, intending her words to cut, "There's nothing you can't say that will make me, as you so foolishly envision, a better person. Stop trying to save my life, and walk away. Save your own."

"Save you," he stroked his beard, eyes focusing on the space above her head, "Maybe." His attention returned, and he met her eyes with a challenging gaze. "You think you can kill me, in this state?"

"I _know _I can kill you," Azula's stare narrowed into a scowl, filled with unspoken threats that thundered in her eyes.

The old waterbender considered her warning, his brow creased as though he were trying to figure out what she said. Then, he lifted his eyes, and the fog in them cleared. There was a wistful smile on his face as he said, "You would do well to rest. Control your temper, and you might just recover."

He got to his feet and dusted his knees. "And when you do, I might just let you try it."

"Fool." She looked away from him. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"Too late for such revelations," he said loudly, turning his back to her. His voice wavered slightly at the end, like he was trying to convince himself of that instead of directing it at Azula. "But tell me one thing, Azula—"

Reluctantly, she redirected her gaze back to him.

"—did you truly leave that place just so you could… end it yourself?"

Her heart pounded against her chest; truth rattled against the cage that held it. Breaking free. "Initially," the word ripped itself free from her tongue.

"I never spoke about it," Nilak seemed to have changed the subject, blinking pity from his eyes, "after it ended. The war, I mean."

"I can't imagine anyone would be willing to."

His eyes turned distant, and it suddenly occurred to her that he wasn't listening at all. He set down a towel he had been purposefully trying to distract himself with. "I was—shocked it ended the way it did. I heard of Ozai's survival first and I feared the worst. I was prepared to fight again, though," he paused, and twisted his lips into a grimace, "Then they told me the Avatar spared your father's life and I—I just couldn't understand it. To let someone like _him _live… well, even I can't see myself doing something like that."

"Too lenient?"

Nilak shook his head. "Too cruel."

"The Avatar is hardly cruel," Azula scoffed, "I speak from personal experience."

"He lost everything, did he not?" Nilak avoided her gaze as he said this, his tone so rueful Azula might have mistaken it for sympathy, "Zuko and Aang spared both your lives. To live with your losses must be a painful thing."

"Don't _patronize _me. You have no right—"

"I lost my wife and child, so many years ago," Nilak silenced her with a long, hard stare, "They were visiting in the South. They were supposed to be away for a week—just a week, long enough so I would miss them but short enough so I wouldn't have to miss them too much. Two weeks after they left, I received a message from Katara's tribe. The Fire Nation killed my wife and son, just like that. I lost everything that day."

Azula's glare lessened into something in between anger and understanding.

"I left the North Pole and joined Hakoda, Katara and Sokka's father," Nilak moved over to the other side of the room and stopped by the window, looking out as though he was searching for something that was outside, "I was devastated and angry. I wanted to make the Fire Nation pay. But more than anything, I wanted to die."

"Ironic," Azula couldn't stop herself and almost regretted saying that, but Nilak surprised her as always, and smiled wistfully.

"It was Hakoda who convinced me to let go of my grief and push forward," Nilak shook his head, almost in embarrassment, "I was much older than him, but he gave me advice I could never forget. I wish you would listen to me and let me impart his wisdom unto you."

"I don't need it." Her tone was decidedly less insistent; a tamer version of her usual inflexibility. She only took advice when she _knew _she needed it. This man's offer was not one of them.

Nilak seemed to bristle slightly at her refusal. "Well, maybe not now." His knowing smile made her shift uncomfortably under the cover. "But in time, I think you will see that moving on and starting anew is a much more liberating choice."

She bestowed her dirtiest look upon him and he pretended not to notice, his cavalier attitude returning as he hummed absently to himself. She swore she would die before she got a chance to press the blade of a knife to her own throat. Her hand shot to her waist and grabbed the edge of her cover and pulled it over her head, just as strong, insistent knocks disrupted their momentary silence.

She heard a series of creaks before she heard someone clear his throat.

"Tong," Nilak greeted the visitor with an air of exuberance, "What brings you here at this late hour?"

She thought she caught a whiff of blood in the air, but swore it was just her imagination. She peered above the cover and saw nothing but the feet of at least three men at the doorway. As though on cue, a cough burst forth from her throat, a thousand needles ripping their way out. Her head jerked forward violently as she did so, and she lost control of her worldly balance.

"I think you know exactly why I'm here, old friend."

* * *

Everything happened too quickly.

She'd barely caught the look of fear on his face when he took a swift step outside and slammed the door behind him. There were raised voices outside, but Azula couldn't be sure of what she was hearing. Pounding of fists slamming into the wooden door frame jolted Azula out of her daze and she pushed herself up into a sitting position, keeping her eyes on the door. She thought she heard Nilak's voice, before everything fell to pieces.

The door burst open again and Azula had to force herself to stand up and lunge to the side, barely dodging Nilak's body that had been flung towards her like a useless rag doll. Golden eyes widened as a feeling of horror overcame her, and they flicked over to the door where four men stood, menacing glints in their eyes.

Nilak groaned in the pile of rubble beside Azula as she tried to keep her balance, meandering over to where he was and pulled him to his feet.

"You should've run when you had the chance," said one of the men, his hair tied neatly into a ponytail. He raised his dagger and made to approach Azula, "Now you're going to die the death you deserve."

She raised a trembling hand, her fingers curling inwards, save for her forefinger and middle finger. Her breathing became shallow as she tried to draw the arcs she'd perfected so many years ago, but Nilak's hand forcefully lowered it. The waterbender had a warning look in his eyes as he shook his head, and Azula could only fall back against the wall, powerless, as he stepped towards the strangers, his arms outstretched like wings.

"You better move aside, Nilak, or you're going down with her too."

"You don't know what you're doing. There is no need for bloodshed, Tong—"

"—are you hearing yourself, old man?!—"

"—this is the sister of Fire Lord Zuko—"

Azula sank to the ground as she watched Tong deliver a blow to Nilak's head with the side of his hand. The waterbender staggered to the side and reached out for a chair for support as Tong advanced on his target. Azula lifted her head proudly and glared at him, her royal blood refusing to let her succumb without putting up the least bit of resistance.

She felt her world spin out of control as Tong seized her roughly by the neck. "I've waited for this moment for so long, Princess…"

"Have you?" Azula breathed, her eyes burning with pain as the fever ravaged her body, "Then do it, before I change my mind."

The dark-skinned man's eyes lit up as a murderous grin split across his face. He lifted her up easily as his fingers crushed her windpipe and her feet no longer touched the ground. Azula's hands closed around his thick wrist and her eyes glazed over to where Nilak was crouched over in pain, before they returned to meet Tong's. There was a fire in her eyes as she opened her mouth and tried to speak. Her attacker raised an eyebrow and seemed to consider something for a moment, before his grip on her throat loosened.

"I'm assuming you want last words, Princess Azula."

"Come closer," Azula whispered, barely able to make a sound after he'd almost crushed her throat, "The Princess wishes to say something."

Tong smirked and his head drew nearer, until Azula's lips were just inches from his ear. Golden eyes met wise, blue ones as Azula let out a weak chortle. "Do you know the phrase the… Fire Lord likes to tell himself?"

The three men behind Tong grew curious for some reason, and Azula had to keep herself from smiling with glee as they approached. She kept her eyes trained on the waterbender, who was now behind them, having regained his balance and focus.

"Phrase?" Tong repeated, his confusion permeating the room in low breaths, "What are you talking about?"

"He guards himself with it," Azula's fingers tighten around the man's wrist as she sucked in a deep breath. She felt a buzzing in her blood, the current rushing from her very being to the tips of her fingers, and allowed herself a small, wolfish grin. The words left her mouth just as the lightning escaped from her fingers and enveloped her captor, and icy stakes erupted from behind them.

"Azula _always _lies."

She gritted her teeth as her own lightning devoured her, the same way it was swallowing Tong whole. She assumed that this was her end, until a swift kick came into contact with the electrocuted fighter and his grip loosened immediately and he doubled over in pain, falling to the ground in uncontrolled jerks. She barely had time to register what had happened when Nilak's hand found hers and he pulled her out into the openness of the night.

Unexpectedly, their feet ground to a halt. Azula raised her head, hair clinging to her cheeks in wet clumps, and blinked as she saw a flash of green through the splits in her bangs, a great pandemonium—_earthquake_, she guessed—that rushed towards them like a tidal wave. Above the tumult, she could hear people screaming her name. She shoved Nilak aside as though drunk, and staggered around for a moment before her legs shut down completely and left her falling to the ground.

Azula found herself in the middle of a hurricane as she landed in the arms of a stranger, the stars spinning above her and world turning without her. She picked up a small exchange between Nilak and whoever it was that was holding her—"_Take her away now!_"—before she was lifted up and shouldered by her new captor. It seemed they were swept away with the wind as the chaos shrunk behind her and the overpowering scent of pines and grass suffocated her until she felt sure that she was being buried alive.

It seemed to have been minutes since she last closed her eyes when a loud groan—her own—jolted her out of her unconsciousness. She was still dangling over someone's shoulder, much to her dismay. Her hands grabbed a fistful of fabric as she pushed herself upwards, so that the blood would stop rushing to her brain. The heaviness cleared for a moment, and she began to find it easier to breathe.

Her hands eventually gave way and she abruptly thrust her weight back onto the stranger.

"Spirits, you're heavy," Azula heard her rescuer—or perhaps not—say, "When we get back, I'm leaving all the weightlifting to the guys." The former princess twitched as the female voice reached her ears.

Azula let out a weak moan and kept her eyes shut, unwilling to watch the world spin before her very eyes.

Her discomfort did not fall on deaf ears as the stranger came to a halt and, after a moment's deliberation, lowered her onto the ground. Azula could feel the stomp of a foot in the ground as she leaned back against the rock, her head lolling back so that she now looked up at the starry sky—a moment so short-lived that she had to snap her head up in shock when a large rock towered over her and enclosed her in a strangely spacious tomb.

She regretted her reflex action as her skull screamed out in pain, and she let her head fall back against the rock behind her. An involuntary moan escaped her lips as the stabbing pain attacked her mercilessly, coupled with the realization that she had been thrust into the arms of an earthbender. She was beginning to feel like some kind of prize, being snatched every time someone new got the chance. It didn't flatter her as much as she thought it would, and let herself reel in the pain.

Nothing was going the way she wanted it to be.

Despite her suffering, she could feel someone moving up next to her.

"Stay with me, Fire Lily. You're not allowed to die just yet." There was the slightest dash of desperation Azula knew all too well. It was the kind of desperation that belonged to someone who was trying hard to keep everything from falling apart.

"Let me go…" she rasped, her arms flinging wildly at the two-headed shadow before her, "You can't… fight fate."

"I don't believe in fate," the voice replied wryly, "That's just an excuse people use so they can wait for things to happen instead of making them happen."

The firebender had never heard stranger words. "Stupid," Azula was slurring by now, "and crazy…"

"You're one to talk."

Azula didn't have the time or the strength to lash out at this stranger's insolence. The sickness was claiming her as the seconds went by, and for a moment, she thought she was beginning to regret her wish for death. Her eyes burned and watered at the same time, and she felt the hot tears rolling down her face as perspiration seeped past her eyelids. She hadn't expected herself to get this far and _still _be alive, although not exactly healthy, and cursed at the spirits that were teasing her with death, like someone dangling a carrot in front of a horse without the intention to give the creature what it wants.

"Please," she begged to no one in particular, "Please…"

"Jeez," mumbled the earthbender as she gently pressed the mouth of her water bag to Azula's lips, "I never pegged _you_ for the begging sort."

Water rushed in like new life, breathing in a freshness Azula hadn't realized she was craving until now. The cooling liquid in her mouth seemed to bring her back, over to the side of the living and not _half-dead_, and her hand automatically snapped upwards to take a hold of the bag herself as the stranger continued to speak, her voice grating at her nerves ruthlessly.

"I haven't seen you in years. You—" The sentence was briefly punctuated by a pause, and the stranger let out a dull laugh, "—you look like _shit_ now." Azula knew it was meant to be an insult, but neither lightning nor fire came bursting forth from her fingertips. The words, however, rang strangely in her ears. She _knew _this person? "You're just… different, somehow. I don't know if you can still do that blue fire thing like before, but honestly, I really don't care. Do you?"

_You can't possibly want me to answer you, _Azula thought, and held her tongue. The fever was subsiding slightly, and she began to gather her thoughts as the girl continued speaking.

"We've been looking for you for days. Man, you sure gave us a lot of trouble by running away like that. What were you thinking? Did you honestly believe Zuko was gonna let you go so easily?" There was no anger in her voice, but a gentleness that reminded her so much of the waterbender that had fought, perhaps to the death by now, to save her life. She didn't understand his decision to keep her alive. She didn't understand why she was lucky enough to be carried away to safety by some random earthbender—

"Where are you going to go, anyway? I doubt Ba Sing Se will take you a second time."

Azula finally recognized the voice that was speaking to her. It was the metalbender—Toph Beifong. Instinctively, Azula moved to sit up straight and attack, but found that she couldn't do much in her enfeebled state. She felt the younger girl's hands push her gently back against the rock, and submitted almost too easily.

And the metalbender was _still _talking. Agni, what was it with her and ending up with people who didn't know when to shut up?

"The whole nation is probably going to know you've escaped, and word is going to get out to the other nations, too. I hope you know what you signed up for, Fire Lily, because everyone's gonna want a piece of you now. Are you still with me?"

_Are you still with me? _The words rang in her mind like a blaring siren. Azula's lips stretched into a wan smile when she realized what the metalbender was doing.

"You're not… trying to talk me to… death," she managed, opening her eyes slightly so she could look at Toph, "You're trying… to keep me alive." Green, unseeing eyes greeted her.

"I guess that fever didn't fry your brains after all." Azula's brows creased in confusion when Toph flashed a smile.

"Should I… thank you for saving me?" Azula asked quietly, her golden eyes still fixated on the sixteen-year old. Time had a way of surprising her, especially since she spent the last four years locked up in a cell, away from the rest of the world.

She was partly surprised with what the years have done to Toph. From the small, feisty little spitfire with a temper that matched that of any firebender's, the Beifong girl had grown into a taller, much more mature looking version of herself. It was a strange sight. _At least she's still as smart mouthed as before. Some things never go away._

Toph's growth made Azula wonder if the water tribe siblings had changed as well. She had already seen Aang—a little too frequently for her to notice any distinct changes except for his height—and the irregular visits Zuko made ensured that she witnessed his growth as well, whether she wanted to or not. She guessed that Katara now looked much more elegant, perhaps even considered beautiful in the eyes of many. Jealousy arose, ridiculously enough, and Azula would have laughed at herself had she not been wracked with pain.

It seemed that everything had changed while she was gone—the world was turning without her.

"Please _don't_," Toph said, shaking her head, "I'd rather you kill me with insults."

It was then that Azula felt her trademark smile spreading across her face, the one spiked with so much wickedness and guile. It was far too unfair that the metalbender was blind. "Thank you for saving my life." Her own tone was injected with so much sweetness that even she wanted to gag.

"I just told you not to—oh, never mind. I know you don't mean it, anyway. When you get a little better, I'm gonna head out and try and find the others. We need Appa if we want you to be healed as soon as possible."

Dread filled her as she heard Toph's words.

"I'm not… going back to the city," Azula said, hating how she could hear the lack of strength in her own voice.

Toph blew at her fringe and scoffed. She knelt down beside Azula again and brushed her wet hair away from her face so she could wipe Azula's face dry of her perspiration. The act was so gentle and so alarmingly intimate that Azula's throat tightened considerably and tears threatened to fall. She was suddenly thankful that Toph was blind. It was unthinkable for anyone to see her crying, or on the verge of it, anyway. The firebender was utterly confused at her own reaction to this, and forced herself to turn away from Toph.

"Who said you had to go back?" Toph said, her eyes unfocused but filled with a craftiness that was surely intended to be shared between the two of them, "Katara's a waterbender too, you know."

Azula reclined her head against the rock behind her. Her body would start sinking soon; she felt sure she was going to become a rock before she saw daylight again. So far, her newfound freedom was beginning to feel a little like the games she used to create with her fearful subjects, except that now it was orchestrated by those damned spirits.

_Punishment, _she mused. _This is definitely my punishment._


	6. Playing With Fire

**6**

If Azula could pick one word to describe Toph Beifong's sad excuse for cooking, she would, but there was no word that could do it justice. She wasn't even sure if the _thing _she was holding in the palm of her hand was cooked. The earthbender, on the other hand, seemed to have no complaints at all.

"You're not eating," Toph tilted her head to the side.

Azula's lips twisted with disgust. "Are you _sure _you cooked this… whatever this is?"

"I'm sure! And I didn't _cook, _I baked." Her green eyes flashed with startling vehemence, "And _this_—" She indicated the same thing sitting in her hand, "—is called a fruit pie. Aang taught me how to do it once and I made this just before I left the city to look for you so I wouldn't starve!"

"It looks _nothing _like a pie!" As an afterthought, she added, "What is a pie supposed to look like, anyway?" Azula lifted the crumbling pastry to her nose and scrutinized its shapelessness. She'd never seen anything like this in her life, and even then, she was completely sure that what she was looking at right now bore little or no resemblance at all to the original specimen.

"You've never seen a single pie before and you're telling me it doesn't look right?"

Azula gritted her teeth as she lifted her head sharply. "You don't _see _anything at all, and you're telling me you think it does?"

"Ooh, good one," Toph seemed to relax into her own back rest and grinned, "I walked right into that one, huh?"

"And so, you did," Azula kept her voice even as her eyes went back to the 'pie'. "Where are the fruits, anyway? I know this has to contain fruits, because you called it a fruit pie." Now, fruits, Azula _had _seen before. She'd had plenty of them back in her days as princess, though she never really cared enough to remember the names of each kind. She just liked the way they tasted, and none of that familiar sweetness returned to her when she took a small bite out of the _not_ pie.

"Yeah, because I couldn't figure that out by myself," Toph drew her knees to her chest, smirking, "And I'm pretty sure there are fruits in it. I was there when I put it in."

"How do _you_ know where to look?"

Toph groaned and slapped an empty hand to her forehead. "Those jokes are getting old, Fire Lily."

Wordlessly, the earthbender stuffed the piece of pie—or her earnest attempt at one, anyway—she was holding into her mouth and chewed on it. Her pride was slapped off in an instant as she swallowed it. "Huh," she scratched her head, "I could swear there were fruits in there."

"You said something about my jokes?"

"Stop it," Toph seemed to pout for a moment, before flinging the rest of her failed product away. "You better suck it up and deal with how bad this pie is. It's the only thing you've got left before you decide to eat yourself."

"I'd much rather make full use of _your_ presence and eat you."

Toph covered her hand over her mouth as her eyes crinkled. Azula stared at the sniggering girl sitting across her in bewilderment before her own words came back to haunt her. Her jaw dropped, and so did her uneaten pastry remains.

"That was—" She straightened, suddenly very self-conscious, as her eyes darted from left to right, "I didn't—that wasn't what I meant and you know it!"

The figure before her doubled over in laughter, and Azula could feel her cheeks heat up. She was almost thankful Toph was blind, if her panicked heartbeats hadn't already given her away when they did.

"Oh, boy," Toph wheezed, "You're funnier than I thought."

"Is that a compliment?"

Toph grinned. "Wouldn't pay you one even if my life depended on it."

Her scowl resonated in the silence and she forced herself to turn her gaze from Toph. The novelty of her unintended innuendo wore off gradually, but it seemed that every time both of them forgot about it for a moment, the earthbender would find something—anything at all, really—to remind herself of Azula's royal joke of the century. Her laughter was like a child's tantrum near nap time. Azula eventually found her fingers deeply eroded in the soil, as though she needed to anchor herself down from the tempting idea of incinerating Toph where she sat.

She was almost on the brink of total slumber when Toph's voice latched onto her like a vine and dragged her back into bitter reality.

"So, Fire Lily," Toph paused as though she wanted the nickname to sink in first before continuing, "Why'd you leave?"

"Why doesn't anyone leave?" Azula rolled her eyes. "It's paradise."

"Right," Toph nodded, "So why'd you leave?"

"It doesn't concern you," she huffed, "You don't really care. You're just curious."

"Fine, I _am _curious," the earthbender punctuated her confession with a snort, "Mostly about what you think you'd find out here that you didn't already destroy."

For some reason, Azula felt compelled to give her an answer. If only to see another person's reaction—she'd had enough of Nilak's all-knowing deportment.

"Death." It was all too predictable for Azula, watching those green eyes widen and her jaw going slack. She liked reading people, but what was better than that was knowing that her assessments were correct.

Toph considered her answer for a moment, reaching up to stroke a beard that wasn't there. "Huh," she let out, looking perplexed, as though death was a concept she failed to effortlessly grasp.

Azula narrowed her eyes. "It means dying—"

"I _know _what it means!" Toph waved it off, her lips bending into a frown, "I just didn't think you, of all people, would want to commit suicide."

"You're judging me even before you know me," Azula accused snidely, "For someone as perceptive as you, you fail to understand my decision."

"No one actually knows you," Toph stated flatly, "That much, I can tell."

Azula flinched at her words, knowing that there was some truth to behold. Of course, the earthbender had forgotten to include the fact that no one ever bothered. She wrung her hands as Toph continued speaking.

"For all the time that I've seen you, though," Toph couldn't suppress a grin at her own choice of words, "Or met you, or tried to make you stop killing me and my friends…" She trailed off, her expression unreadable. "Well," she clapped her hands together, "I just didn't think you were the kind of person who'd give up so easily."

Presently, Azula's heart skipped a beat. Or two beats, she couldn't really be sure. "You're a liar."

Toph blinked once, then twice. "Excuse me?"

Despite herself, Azula burst into a smile. It wasn't the smile she used to pretend everything was alright, or the smile she used to intimidate people into submission. It was just a smile, and it felt so normal that it felt so wrong.

"You said you wouldn't pay me a compliment even if your life depended on it. You just did."

It took Azula all the inner strength she had not to laugh when Toph closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, all the while muttering unintelligible, vulgar things under her breath. It occurred to her sometime later, as she kept her eyes on 'sleeping' Toph, that she liked nothing more than to get under the earthbender's skin one more time, just so she could see how much of an effect she had on her.

"Why do you do that?"

Toph opened one eye, as though it actually made a difference. "Do what?"

"That thing with the… names," Azula felt an invisible fire wrap itself around her neck, "Fire Lily."

"Haven't you ever given anyone a nickname?" Toph straightened herself and fixed her stare in Azula's general direction. "You know, for fun? So you can make fun of them… get closer to them? It's called friendship."

Azula's mind stopped whirring, Toph's words jamming the gears that usually operated more efficiently no matter who she was with. "You want to get closer to me?" Azula's voice dropped slightly at the end, "As a friend?"

"Closer? I don't dream of that," Toph flipped the side of her fringe absently, "And even if I did, of _course _it'd be as a friend. You sound a little crazier than usual, Fire Lily. Go to sleep."

"If you don't see me as a friend, then why are you calling me Fire Lily?"

"I don't know," Toph seemed to jostle under Azula's brazen accusation, "Maybe it's your magnetic charm, I don't know! Stop making this more complicated than it already is, _jeez_."

Nervousness clamped its hands around Azula's throat, so that she couldn't swallow the words she wanted to say next. There was something about the way Toph said 'magnetic charm', like she'd actually meant it. "It's complicated, now?"

"Now it is," Toph crossed her arms over her chest so tightly it seemed they wouldn't unravel for ages, "_Why _are you making such a big deal out of this? Look, if it bothers you that much, I'll use your real name, okay?"

Azula dislodged her fingers from the soil beneath her and began picking the dirt from underneath her every nail. "No," she heard herself say, "No, I like Fire Lily."

"Wow." Toph's whisper sounded like a scream. "You're so… weird."

Azula kept her eyes on her nails. "I spent the last four years in an asylum. I think I deserve to be weird."

"No one's ever told me they liked my names for them before," Toph laughed, sounding genuinely embarrassed, "Twinkle Toes sort of takes it in his stride, and Sugar Queen thinks I'll drop it once I'm old enough and Sparky—" Azula's eyes lifted, realizing she knew who Toph was referring to, "—Sparky hates it because he's the Fire Lord now. He makes sure I call him either 'Fire Lord' or 'Zuko' or 'Fire Lord Zuko' in public."

"Typical," the word slid out easily, as though she was merely breathing, "Zuzu hates it when people sound like they don't take him seriously."

"Zuzu." Toph let out a snigger and covered her mouth immediately after. "Worst name ever."

"I know," Azula smiled again, "That's why I never stopped using it."

Toph shared her apparent sentiment and smiled back, the gesture catching the former princess off guard and blindsiding her completely. Azula found it hard to look away after that, her eyes glued in place and her breathing so much more careful. So much slower, as though she were afraid of breaking something if she moved too fast, too carelessly.

The earthbender shifted under the weight of Azula's gaze, after a while, and picked up a nearby pebble.

"Stop staring at me," Toph threw the object in Azula's general direction without the intention of striking her, "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I don't know what's going on around me." Azula flicked the rock away all too easily, as though they had been playing this game for hours.

Her first instinct was to lie. "I'm not staring at you. You're hardly an attractive girl."

"I wouldn't know," Toph shrugged, "I'm blind, remember?" Another rock flew in Azula's direction. This time, the young firebender caught it in her hand, rolled it around in her palm and flung it back at the earthbender. To her surprise, a pale hand interceded the small projectile just as it was about to hit her square between the eyes.

"So you say, but here you are, telling me to avert my eyes as though you could see how I couldn't tear them away from your face," Azula smirked, "Here you are, playing catch with a very dangerous war criminal."

Toph raised a finger to object. "There's nothing wrong with playing catch when you're bored. But I wouldn't expect you to understand. You don't seem to have had a childhood at all."

The corner of Azula's lips twitched. _Bored? _She was almost beginning to have enough of being made fun of all the time.

"What an insult, coming from you."

Toph ignored this, and continued speaking. "Also, I can _feel _you looking at me. You don't have to be blind to pick up something as annoying as someone's lingering gaze."

"Hardly a gaze," Azula said snidely, and caught the rock again. The former princess didn't expect to be caught, especially if the person she was looking at was completely blind. She inhaled her edginess and kept it within the pits of her stomach. "Hardly lingering, either. That would only mean I'm interested."

She had been observing the younger girl's mannerisms—she told herself it was because she had nothing better to look at and not because of anything else—and decided that for a daughter of the noble Beifong family, Toph definitely didn't seem like she was related to them at all. She had dug her nose thrice within the last hour. _Such behavior would bring the royal palace down_, Azula thought.

She rolled her eyes when the earthbender let out a loud and utterly uncivilized yawn. It reminded her so much of her Uncle Iroh, as he stalked down the corridors of the palace at night, yawning and singing out loud as though no one else was living there. Azula remembered screaming into her pillow every time he walked past her room, singing his stupid songs—the ones he wrote for his dead son, Lu Ten. A part of her hoped Toph wasn't a singer.

"So you say, but you're still staring."

"Then I guess you saw me doing that thing with my eyes," she sneered, secretly enjoying how much she could piss the metalbender off without suffering the consequences. She was far too important, and she liked feeling important.

Toph welcomed the arguing and insults, but it seemed she only did so because it didn't feel right to treat Zuko's cranky sister with kindness and leave out all the hostility.

"Don't get too cocky, Fire Lily," Toph said, smirking, "You better keep your eyes peeled when we start moving tomorrow morning."

Azula narrowed her eyes. She was hardly in a good enough condition to move, even if the fever had subsided for the moment. "And where do you think you're taking me? I thought you were supposed to whistle for the sky bison on your own while I stay home and watch the kids."

"Well, _dear_," Toph replied, the affectionate term rolling off her tongue easily, "I don't feel safe leaving you all alone here. What if the bad guys come back and catch you? Then I'd _really _have to kill someone."

She was almost teeming with glee from the way Toph had said that. Her delight was unbearably senseless, and Azula reminded herself that she was reacting like that only because she refused to sleep. That fatigue had a way of turning you into an absolute clown.

"That," Azula said, her voice like velvet, "is something I'd like to see from someone like you. Aside the mediocre heroics, of course."

"Yeah, you'd like a bloodbath, wouldn't you?" Toph laughed, but without mirth. "Listen—if you treat me nicely from now on, I might just let you have some fun. That is, _if _those crazy villagers come back and manage to find us."

"Don't assume I am still that same girl who tried to kill you and your friends on multiple occasions," Azula said, smiling, "Even though I have to admit, I'm glad to say I succeeded, once."

"Good for you," Toph's voice drained of all interest. Azula could only imagine it was because she didn't like being reminded of Aang's death—one that could have been permanent. "Well, it would be if Aang wasn't still alive and kicking."

"Maybe I'll get another chance," Azula mused out loud, watching Toph carefully and hoping she would be able to get another entertaining response out of her, "You know, when you blow your whistle and everything."

To her surprise, Toph laughed all too hard. "Are you kidding me?" she said, in between her laughter, "I haven't seen you firebend since I found you in that house."

Azula bit her lip, her brows creasing with worry. She hadn't created a single spark since she left the mental facility. The greatest display of power, so far, had been the time when she electrocuted Tong in Nilak's home. She looked down at her own hands and couldn't help but wonder if she had enough strength now.

_Only one way to find out. _"I'll show _you _firebending."

Sitting up straight, Azula lifted her head and breathed in deeply, her mouth shut tight. Toph was now facing Azula, having picked up her movements and the sound of her deep breathing, and watched as though she, too, was waiting for the blue flames to reappear.

The firebending prodigy exhaled and thrust her fist forward, and felt the power surge through her, the heat reminding her of the fever, and escaped in the form of a blast of fire, so great that it had Toph rolling to the side to escape being cooked alive. Azula, under normal circumstances, would have been relieved to know that her firebending skills were still intact and she might have laughed at the surprised Beifong girl for even doubting her in the first place, but she was frozen.

She wasn't laughing, because these weren't normal circumstances. The orange flames died halfway as she lowered her fist, aghast at the unfamiliar color that had sprung forth from her hand. She couldn't help but let out a gasp, which Toph's ears picked up quite easily.

"What is it?" Toph asked, "Flame not big enough or something?" Azula's sudden bout of silence was an uneasy thing to listen to, for some reason.

What was the point of lying? Her delayed reaction was surely going to arouse some suspicions. "The flames aren't blue anymore."

Hot tears sprung to her golden eyes as she dug her fingers angrily into the earth, trying to make sense of what happened just a few seconds ago. She bit back her devastation but to no avail; her guttural sobs were loud—perhaps much louder than they should be, possibly because she was the only person in this enclosed space other than Toph, who was surely aware of her ongoing breakdown. The unrelenting streams on her face embarrassed her, the intensity of that emotion amplified a thousand times because of the presence of the metalbender, who had now fallen eerily silent.

She hung her head and let her bangs cover her face and felt little comfort from the cover—Toph was blind, after all, and she depended on her sense of hearing and touch to see things. Azula desperately wished she could run away, but there was nowhere to go. Her fever was slowly returning, perhaps as a result of her trauma and exertion of power, but Azula didn't care. She had just lost the one last thing that defined her for who she truly was. Now, she was sure she had nothing left. Nothing but her ordinary, orange flames.

She lowered her face into her hands and let out a muffled scream, so piercing and so prolonged that it made her throat hurt.

Through the walls of suffering that were closing in on her, lean arms enveloped her in an embrace and pulled her close against another breathing form. It barely registered in her mind that it was Toph who was holding her, but Azula felt herself clinging onto one arm for support and pressed her face forcefully into the earthbender's neck. Her whole body trembled so violently, it seemed to have warranted a tighter embrace.

Nails threatened to tear through the fabric that clothed Toph as Azula coughed out wretched sobs, grieving as though someone she loved had just died before her very eyes. She loved no one, however, and she never cried when death came knocking on someone's door, but the painful emptiness inside her seemed close enough to be thought of as similar.

Azula struggled to ask, through her shuddering gasps and cries, "Why—why—?"

"Simple. I understand how much it meant to you," Toph lowered her voice now, as though about to share a secret no one else could know, "I wouldn't be too happy either if my metalbending just… went away."

And it was enough, enough to send her back into her own despair.

It wasn't until Toph's hand reached a tangled, knotted part of Azula's hair that she realized she had been stroking her head. The act had felt so natural that neither girl paid much attention to the gesture—it seemed to have a sobering effect on Azula, and the former princess' sobs died down as the minutes passed and the night grew colder.

Azula's grip on Toph's arm gradually softened, but found herself unable to let go of the warmth she was receiving from their embrace. It was the kind of warmth she had wanted from Ursa (she had never admitted this to anyone, of course), the kind Zuko had gotten all the time whenever he asked for it. It was the kind of warmth she had felt slip from her fingers every time she watched her mother and brother through the slight crack of the doors to his room.

The grievous thought made it impossible for her to tear away from the arms of the metalbender, even if the intimate proximity between them sickened her.

A familiar, heavy sleepiness fell upon Azula as she remained still in Toph's hold on her. It was the same kind of sleepiness that enveloped her right after her breakdown in front of Zuko and Katara, and the same kind that claimed her every night in that dreadful cell she had called home for four years.

It was also, Azula realized through half-lidded eyes, the kind of sleepiness that was going to be her undoing. For the first time, Azula took a good look at the eyes of the blind bender. The sightlessness in those green orbs was painfully obvious, as was her sympathy, and Azula felt her heart flutter when she thought she saw those same eyes fixate upon her face. She reminded herself that Toph was blind, but it didn't help to slow down the wild beating of her heart.

She told herself that people did and felt stupid things when they were overcome with exhaustion and fatigue, but the self-assurance wasn't enough to fend off her impending alarm when her lips brushed slowly against Toph's cheek and found hers in the darkness of the night.

It was a miracle Toph didn't pull away a few seconds into the kiss. Azula felt her eyes close shut as she allowed herself this last moment of vulnerability and idiocy, the softness of the lips belonging to one so rude and infuriatingly smart-mouthed taking her completely by surprise. Pleasure surged in her blood.

Seconds before Azula decided to break the intimate act, she felt an odd weakness claiming her body. It was odd because she had already been weak to begin with, the crying having already taken all the energy out of her. She refused to believe it was anything else but the sleep finally swallowing her whole, and remained silent as she hid her face in Toph's neck, hoping that the metalbender would believe she had already fallen asleep.

_Oh, if the world could see me now—Azula, the once fearsome princess of the Fire Nation, has found comfort in the lips of her enemy._

Azula didn't even know if she really did fall asleep. It seemed like only seconds passed before Toph's low, exigent whispers forced her to open her eyes. She didn't even have to hear what the girl was telling her to know what was going on—she could hear the voices of men outside their shelter, their footfalls getting louder as they got closer. Her mind whirled as she felt Toph take her arm and pull her to her feet, and realized the fever inside her was resurfacing again.

This game was beginning to lose its humor.

* * *

They hurtled through the darkness without stopping, fingers interlocked tightly so much that Azula didn't think they would be able to pry them apart later. Behind them, the angry shouts grew in volume, an indication that they were all but rapidly approaching. Without warning, Toph led her around a sharp corner and Azula couldn't help but feel like a doll, as helpless as she was powerless. The sting of her loss was still fresh and very much present, and it took all of the strength she had left to propel herself forward with the earthbender at her side.

The wind whipped at her face and howled furiously in her ears as they tore down the road, narrowly dodging arrows that zipped past their faces and throwing back attacks of their own, occasionally striking a man or two. Their onslaught, however, was not enough to eradicate the looming mob. Toph seemed to realize this as she skidded to a halt, her heavy breathing telling Azula that she's had enough of running.

There was a momentary rustling as Toph stuck her hand into her pocket and fished for something, and Azula grasped the girl's arm strongly. "We don't have time for whatever it is you're doing," she hissed, fighting off the panic that was mounting in her voice, "Let's _move_—"

Toph whipped her head towards Azula; her eyes filled with so much conviction that it silenced the firebender, and pulled Azula's hand up so she could thrust a hard object into her palm. Her hand curled Azula's own into a fist and pushed it back to her chest, as if she were returning something to its original owner.

"Take this, keep running, and _blow_."

Azula stared at the girl in consternation. "What—?"

"Run—" Toph was already moving back in the direction of the murderous hollers, "—and don't come back for me, whatever you do. I'll find you when it's over."

The words pricked Azula's heart like tiny, icy needles. She felt her own body grow cold as she took a brave step towards the earthbender. "No—"

"I—said—_run_!"

Azula had no time to contend as the earth between her and Toph split open with a deafening crack. A colossal wall of rock emerged from its depths, throwing Azula off balance and sending her flying a few feet back. Who knew how long this wall stretched—Azula could barely see anything in the darkness.

Instinctively, her free hand reached out and touched the rocky structure, feeling her way to the end of it so she could circle around and find the senseless blind girl. There were hints of a battle, not too far away from where she was now, and she could hear the sound of moving earth and the thunderous grunts of the men that were surely outnumbering her. Her footfalls increased in speed as she ran in a straight line, feeling absolutely irate at Toph's reckless decision to separate them.

Tension and worry pressed down on her like a burden, just as the sharp edges of the whistle sank into her roughened palm. Only one thing held the weight from crushing her—the need to be alive.

She strained her ears and realized she couldn't hear the battle anymore and slammed the side of her fist into the rock wall that kept her from Toph, and the comfort and security that came along with the embrace that seemed to only have taken place a few seconds ago—

A scream pierced through the silence, and it seemed to break right through the wall and through Azula's heaving chest. Intuitively, Azula delivered one swift punch to the wall and let the fire burst forth from her fist, the impact blowing the wall apart with an earsplitting boom and nearly throwing Azula off balance. She clung unto the side of the broken wall and boosted herself through the hole, and tore down the darkness where Toph's bloodcurdling shriek had emerged from—

"I don't care if you're Toph Beifong or the _Avatar_—you've interfered enough—"

There was a sickening crack that filled the air and chilled Azula's blood.

"—Fire Lord Zuko's kept her hidden long enough—"

The sound of a blade plunging into flesh followed after, and Azula was sure she was going to lose her mind if she didn't find them now—

"—and he's not here to stop me from doing the right thing!"

Toph was crying now—crying out _her_ name—and Azula had the maddest urge to set fire to the darkness, for it to stop playing tricks on her—

"She won't _save _you—you see that? She's not coming! She's still that _bitch_ from the war—"

Azula's hand shot upwards once she saw the figure of Tong, the man she'd failed to kill just hours ago, towering over the trembling, bloodied mess on the ground. She could barely make out Toph's face in the darkness, but her whimpers were visual enough. The anger came upon her in full force as her face grew livid, her lips quivering with bloodlust and murderous intentions, and she lunged at him, her two fingers stiff with suppressed power.

The moment they made contact with his temple, she poured all her grief and anger into her exhalation just as the lightning tore through her skin and into the man's head, destabilizing him completely as he fell to the ground beside the bleeding earthbender, screaming for mercy and the end at the same time. The onset of electricity stopped for a moment, as Azula's eyes narrowed with understanding.

Unwittingly, she smiled in the dark. The orange flame burst forth from the palm of her hand, illuminating her vicious gaze. Tong's eyes glazed over and he looked on in fear as the former princess stepped over his twitching body.

She crouched down so that her palm, filled with unforgiving flames, was inches away from his face.

"I'm assuming you want last words, Princess," she snarled darkly, her golden eyes boring into his frightened brown ones, "Well?"

Tong could barely speak. "I'm—I'm sorry—"

Azula didn't blink as she slammed her palm on top of his open mouth, and watched the inferno do its work as she fed him her angry flames. He'd already lost the ability to produce sound as he writhed in pain below Azula, his eyes darting frantically from left to right and then ultimately sliding out of focus as the life seeped from him in the form of rising smoke, the smell of burnt flesh so fragrant as she inhaled, and broke out into a satisfied grin.

"Azula—"

Her eyes flicked over to her right and the triumph within her diminished, the bloodlust going up in flames as she fell to her knees beside Toph's bleeding form. Azula's hands fumbled in the darkness as she found the dagger lodged in the earthbender's side. For a moment, her hands seemed to stop listening to her as they trembled violently, but she snapped back into focus when Toph let out another cry of agony.

She chewed on her lip, set her jaw and drew it with a flinch. Toph slammed her fist into the ground beside her and dug up the grass and soil along with it, her shallow breathing quickening, just as Azula's heartbeat was. The firebender ripped the fabric apart and applied pressure with one hand to the torn flesh, while whispering—begging, really—for the earthbender to stay awake, to not _fall asleep, just don't fall asleep, please—_

Her other hand felt around the wet earth between Toph and her, not caring that her hand was drenched in blood, and roved all over the drenched grass wildly until she found what she'd been looking for.

_Blow._

Azula shoved the whistle between her quaking lips and forced all the air out of her lungs and into the tiny object, ignoring the coppery liquid that leaked into her mouth, and dribbled down her chin. Unbridled terror descended upon her like a nightmare, and halfway through her whistling she started screaming at the unconscious earthbender to _wake up, wake up, you stupid earthbender_ until she started crying, the tears falling in large blotches onto the ground as she crouched over Toph's unmoving body, and pressed the side of her face to the chest.

Her heartbeat was faint.

"No, no," Azula murmured, and pressed even harder into Toph's wound, "Come back—come back—"

"Azula?" a voice came from behind her, and she was prepared to strike, her eyes filled with agitation and fear until he stepped into the light of the burning body beside them, his blue eyes jam-packed with horror, surprise and understanding all mixed into one.

Nilak stepped over Tong's burning body and knelt down next to Azula. She could barely hear his reassuring murmurs as his hands glowed with luminous, translucent water and made contact with the torn flesh at Toph's side. She heard nothing but the shallow breathing that belonged to the girl on the ground, on the verge of death, and the faint heartbeat pounded painfully in her ears even though she was no longer trying to listen, and all she was doing was kissing the inside of a bloodied palm as though it was all she could do not to take the dagger beside her and plunge it into her chest as well.

She couldn't understand her own emotions even as she gripped Toph's hand too hard and cried too loudly, but felt sure that this was loss—_true loss —_and felt sure that nothing could ever hurt so bad. She couldn't help but feel the way she did just an hour ago, as though she'd just lost her sapphire flames all over again, but this time the pain was tenfold, and she felt sure it was going to crush every single bone in her body and tear her flesh apart—

"She's okay."

The remains of her strength were sapped by the wind that came by, and she fell against Nilak's form, barely breathing. Barely blinking. He threw one arm around her, and kept her stable. "It wasn't the blood loss that knocked her out," Nilak tried to keep his voice calm for the sake of the trembling girl beside him, "The pain from the broken arm—and the stabbing. She's—she's going to be okay, Azula. You hear me?"

Azula could hardly nod, so she uttered a weak, "Yes."

"Good," she heard Nilak say, "Let's get out of here."

"How did you… find us?"

"I followed Tong," Nilak sighed, "I wanted to stop him—but you made short work of him."

Azula's eyes flickered over to the charred corpse beside them. "Are you afraid of me?"

"I stopped being afraid a long time ago."

She returned her gaze to the old man that held her. "Liar."

The waterbender smiled, in spite of himself, "I'm glad you're safe. That should be truth enough for you."

"Maybe," Azula murmured, and struggled to get on her feet, "Maybe." She looked uncertain for a moment as she cast her gaze up to the sky, to the moon that seemed to be shining on them and them only.

Gingerly, she bent over and scooped the unconscious girl up into her arms. Azula couldn't help but notice the pink scar that stood in the place of previously torn flesh.

She thought of her missing blue flames as she put one foot in front of the other, with Nilak trailing behind her, but kept her eyes on the face of Toph Beifong.


	7. A New Set of Chains

Happy Saturday! Welcome back to this little tale of mine. I hope you guys have had a good week :)

Just a tiny update: I've already finished outlining the whole story earlier this week. I'm so excited for you guys to see how this story turns out. Therefore, stick around!

Thank you for the faves, follows and reviews. Once again, I don't know what I'd do without them. Drop me more to let me know you're still alive and with me, or to give me some constructive criticism and stuff like that. I love hearing from you guys.

See you next Saturday!

* * *

**7**

Pale streaks of sunlight seemed to invade the dark sky above them as they stopped to make camp. Azula hadn't even realized dawn was approaching—she'd kept her eyes on the girl in her arms ever since they started moving. Toph hadn't stirred since she fell into unconsciousness, but Azula noted with relief that she was still breathing. Every movement in her body, no matter how miniscule, was too important to be overlooked. They were signs of life, and they kept Azula's sanity in check.

As she lowered Toph onto the ground gently, she felt a heavy gaze on her back. "We should be far enough from them. They won't be giving us any trouble for the time being."

Azula hadn't said a word to Nilak since they left Tong's charred remains behind—all she'd cared about was the girl in her arms. She willed herself to tear her gaze away from the unconscious earthbender for a moment, and turned to the old waterbender.

"You assume too much," she said, watching him set down some firewood he'd gathered at his feet, "They could be on the move, looking for us this instant."

Nilak let out a thoughtful hum, before lowering himself into a crouch and started to rearrange the fallen branches and twigs he'd managed to scavenge. "I'm certain we won't be seeing anyone for a while. I gave them a bit of trouble before I left, though it hurt me to do it."

"Trouble, huh," Azula pointed two fingers at the pile sitting between them and let her flames rush forth like serpents, "Let's hope you've managed to stall them long enough."

"Indeed." Nilak rested himself in front of the fire, his legs crossed and one hand on each lap. Azula turned away and sat down next to Toph, taking care to brush off loose strands of hair from the girl's face, repressing the urge to kiss her forehead, if only to tell her that they were safe.

_You're being ridiculous._

"Do you want to talk about what happened just now?" Azula heard his voice, but refused to process his words. She kept her eyes on Toph, and found that the girl's face was exceptionally peaceful, as though she were merely having a good night's sleep. It was quite unlike what Azula was feeling presently.

"There is nothing to talk about," Azula replied flatly, her fingers trailing down from Toph's fringe to her cheek, "I killed him. It's as simple as that."

Nilak cleared his throat, as though trying to get her attention. "I'm not going to lie and tell you that what you did wasn't worrying."

"Then don't lie." She pressed her palm against the softness of Toph's face and brushed her thumb across her skin. "What did you expect from me, really?"

"I expected better," Nilak punctuated his answer with a sigh. "I think I expected too much."

"Disappointed?" Azula looked up from Toph, half-smiling. "It's like you've completely forgotten the fact that I spent the last few years in an asylum. No progress whatsoever, or so the doctors continually inform me. You have this annoying tendency to underestimate me."

The light from the fire all but illuminated and made clearer the lack of amusement in his eyes. He looked slightly withdrawn, a little colder—as he should be, of course. Azula didn't expect him to be happy with her from the moment she saw the look on his face when he discovered Tong's burning form.

Despite the old man's stern glower, Azula continued speaking. "I wonder if his body was burnt beyond recognition," she queried, to no one in particular, "A part of me wishes it not to be—" Her golden eyes dropped once more to the girl lying beside her, and then to the scar at her side, "—so they're aware of the consequences."

As though she'd heard her, Toph stirred and let out a soft sigh. _Perhaps in agreement?_

"What do you want from me, exactly?" Azula bit out harshly, "An apology because I was so badly behaved?"

"Some effort," Nilak huffed, his voice rumbling like angry thunder, "to control yourself."

Azula wrinkled her nose in disgust at his words. "I don't see the point in such an endeavor. Enlighten me, old man—what do you hope to achieve by wearing my patience thin like this?"

"Perhaps to help you out of your own past evils," Nilak's blue eyes shimmered from fire's light as he looked right at her, "You cannot persist in your ways. You are not a killer, Azula."

The former princess threw her head back, laughing bitterly until tears sprung forth in her eyes. There was no indication as to whether those tears were born from her intense amusement, or overwhelming bitterness.

"Not a killer? You barely saw me on the Day of Black Sun. You never saw me at the Boiling Rock, with all those prisoners at my mercy," The playful look in her eyes diminished as she blinked, her golden eyes possessing a gleam that sent a chill up Nilak's spine, "I executed so many men and lost count halfway. I stopped feeling sick after the fifth man that fell by my hand. If I am not a killer, then why did I feel so calm when I watched the life leave their eyes?"

"You didn't have a choice." Nilak's gaze remained steady, his profile rigid and unwavering. "You were just a child, but your father…"

Azula sliced sharply through the air before her in a straight line, flames bursting forth in her wake. "Don't bring my father into this," she seethed, her eyes so sharp it might have been able to put Mai's knives to shame, "It was my choice. I chose to be that person. You're just lucky I was interrupted that day before I got to you."

"You think you were truly independent?" The waterbender's eyes turned into slits, the wizened look in them causing Azula's stomach to stir uncomfortably, "All those years, when you were by your father's side—were you really in control of yourself?"

"You know nothing of me," Azula's voice cracked halfway as her resolve crumbled, "My father—my father was going to rise to power, and I was going to follow him—"

"Did you love him?" Nilak punctuated his question with fixed stare.

Azula's mouth fell open, but no words came. There was no answer that came to her rescue, either, and the stirring in her stomach transformed into a hurricane.

"Well?" Nilak's eyes challenged her silently, daring her to be honest. "Answer the question."

"Love," Azula repeated the word and recoiled at the way it sounded on her tongue, "What an odd thing to wonder about someone like me."

"You think you are incapable of love?"

"I think I do well without it," Azula avoided his gaze and fixed her eyes elsewhere, "Love is for children, or haven't you heard? I don't need it."

"Truly," Nilak stroked his beard and regarded the girl sitting on the other side of the fire thoughtfully, "That explains so much."

The fire crackled in the momentary silence, almost like an angry whip. Azula felt sure that it was chiding her, or perhaps even making fun of her.

"You can't fool me," Azula's eyes darted briefly to Nilak before she averted her gaze again, "You don't know anything about me. You're lying."

"You would know," Nilak nodded with a smile. Azula scowled at this, and the flames flickered slightly in the waterbender's direction. He barely moved an inch as the flames got threateningly close, and added, "Don't get so defensive."

"I'm hardly being defensive," Azula looked ready to feed him lightning now, "You just happen to be extremely insufferable. You remind me of someone I know." Iroh's cheerful countenance reared itself at her in her head, and she had to swallow so she wouldn't puke.

"I hope you didn't kill him." The waterbender's eyes twinkled.

"I never got the chance," Azula flipped her hair with as much of a casual air she could adopt. "He isn't really worth it, either. Zuzu would really kill me, then."

"General Iroh," Nilak looked almost amused, "I'm honored."

Azula glared at him and the flames rippled dangerously. "I could kill you right now."

"Perhaps," Nilak nodded slowly. "I can't imagine Toph would be happy about that."

"What does it matter how she feels about it?" Azula looked expectantly at Toph's sleeping form, as though expecting the girl to sit up and say something. "Besides," Azula turned back to Nilak with a fox's smile, "She doesn't even know you're here."

"Oh, convenient," Nilak clicked his tongue and pretended to be at a loss. The corner of Azula's eye twitched and she clenched her teeth as his blatant mockery grated her nerves incessantly. The man's beard bristled slightly as he bit back laughter, but said, "If you wanted to kill me, you would have done so from the start."

"Maybe I have exercised far too much leniency," Azula said darkly, her expression matching her tone. "Or maybe you're the one that truly needs the asylum."

"I am not insane," Nilak shook his head and his features crinkled, "It's called old age."

Azula rolled her eyes at this. "I always assumed they were the one and the same. Both kill you in the end."

"True enough." The old man shifted so that he was far enough from the fire to get back on his feet, and dusted himself. The light-heartedness had drained from his eyes as he lifted them up to Azula again. "You will watch her." It sounded more like a question than an order to Azula, and she raised an elegant eyebrow.

"And where do you think you're going?" she asked, her eyes following the waterbender as he crossed over to his satchel and slung it over his shoulder.

Nilak looked off into the darkness, as though he saw something that wasn't there. "I heard… talk of hideouts in that direction, behind my village. Of course, I think they meant the mining tunnels, because there isn't another colony or village for miles." He seemed to be talking to himself rather than to Azula. "They are gathering for something huge. I fear the worst."

"So you decide to walk right into the middle of it all?" Azula's brow creased in utter confusion mixed with a dash of disbelief. "Are you expecting them to welcome you with open arms after they discovered you were hiding me from them all this time?"

"Concerned?" Nilak smiled wistfully in her direction. "It is so unlike you, Azula."

"Don't fool yourself," Azula waved him off, "I should be thrilled that you're finally making yourself useful and leaving, but I can't help but wonder what warranted this stupidity. It is so unlike _you_."

She caught the twinkle in the man's eyes and realized that she'd sounded as though she was complimenting him. She pinched the bridge of her nose and blanched slightly, and was relieved that Nilak had said nothing of it. Instead, he crossed over to where she was sitting and knelt down so that he was at her level, and placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"You will watch her," he repeated, "as she will watch you, in time to come."

"Aren't you afraid I'm going to take off and leave her here?" Azula forced a smile, prying his hand off her shoulder. "I could do it, you know."

"You won't." He raised a finger as Azula opened her mouth to protest, his eyes knowing and almost piercing. "You won't leave her."

"Fool," Azula called out after him, as he turned around and descended into the darkness that seemed all too eager to swallow him whole. The breeze seemed to carry his laughter back to her, and she strained her ears to make sure it wasn't her imagination.

She waited for a moment, expecting him to return after a change of mind, but he did not emerge from behind any tree, or out of the shadows that bathed everything it could reach. She eventually lay beside Toph and faced her back to the abyss that Nilak had thrown himself into, and let the hypnotizing rise and fall of the earthbender's chest soothe her.

She finally allowed herself to sleep after she pressed her lips to Toph's cheek and brushed them against her soft skin, all because the temptation had been too overwhelming.

* * *

Azula found herself wrapped in Toph's arms when she opened her eyes again. She barely felt like she'd had any rest, but she couldn't ignore the comfort that accompanied the earthbender's unwitting embrace. Deciding that a few more minutes like this wouldn't hurt, Azula closed her eyes and leaned into the girl's shoulder when a voice jolted her out of her temporary bliss, or Azula's equivalent of it, anyway.

"Fire Lily," Toph's voice raised slightly at the end, perhaps in confusion, "Is that you?"

Azula's eyes flew open and she snapped back like a rubber band stretched too tight. "You're—you're awake."

"Spirits, it _is _you," Toph's cheeks flushed so quickly Azula couldn't help but let her eyes follow the redness that crept up the earthbender's neck, "Oh—jeez. What happened?" Azula guessed that the question meant something like _how did we end up sleeping together like this_ and not _what happened to me last night? _

"You were conscious for the most part," Azula sat up and dusted herself off, and hoped that it would take the odd tingling sensation in her skin away as well, "Last night, when you tried to be the hero and take on an angry mob by yourself."

"I—I know," Toph seemed to lose her composure slightly and propped herself up against a rock she'd just erected, "No, I mean, I can't remember—"

"Think," Azula stretched the word, "There was a man—Tong. He almost killed you." Tong's name had an instantaneous effect on Toph, as her green eyes lit up with understanding. Azula was sure she was reliving the moment she witnessed his body going up in flames, with Azula towering over him with a gleeful smile that would make anyone sick.

"Oh," Toph said softly, nodding, "Him. Yeah… it's coming back to me now." Her hand fell to her side, to the rip in her top, and traced her scar absently with one finger.

Azula watched her curiously as she licked her lips, trying not to recall the way her side looked when it was split open with Tong's dagger, or the way her blood tasted on her tongue. She tried not to remember it at all. "You must think I'm a monster."

"Is that what you think?" Toph turned towards Azula, in her general direction, her expression unreadable. "Well, I mean—" She let out a sigh and shook her head, "I should be so—so pissed off at you right now. He was—well, I don't know, frightened of you? He apologized but you didn't… you just killed him like that."

"But?" Azula raised an eyebrow. "There's more."

Toph shrugged. "You saved my life. I… would have died, if you didn't… come back."

"You're welcome," Azula barely fought off the grin that crept up on her.

"Yeah, I guess," Toph nodded again, this time with a little more certainty, "Wow, my head hurts just thinking about it."

"If that didn't traumatize you, I don't know what will," Azula dropped her gaze to her hands, "I wasn't exactly on my best behavior."

Toph let out a snort. "I already told you I don't care about that. This isn't the asylum, Fire Lily. I'm not keeping tabs on how you handle yourself. I just—I just don't understand why you chose to come back for me when I literally set you _free_."

"You're not the only one who's confused," Azula rubbed her temples and sighed. "I suppose…" She chewed her lip. "I suppose I didn't want your death on my conscience."

"That's it?"

"What do you want me to say?" Azula snapped impatiently. A force of habit prompted her to look down at her nails and away from Toph, even though she knew that the earthbender was blind and wouldn't be able to see the heat rising up her neck and to her cheeks. She began digging the dirt out from underneath them, ignoring the invisible fire that wrapped itself around her neck and face. "That it wasn't just an obligation? That I—I _care_?"

Toph's lips turned downwards into a frown. "It won't hurt for you to be honest with me."

"I'm never honest with anyone," Azula said, "Or haven't you heard Zuzu's little mantra?"

"Azula always lies, yeah," Toph crossed her arms over her chest tightly, "But I'm not Sparky, and I _know _what I heard last night. You were scared of—of _something. _I heard you screaming into my ear, telling me to—to—"

"I know what I said," Azula interjected, refusing to listen to Toph any further, "I panicked."

"Tell me why," Toph leaned forward, in Azula's general direction. Her green eyes seemed to be searching for something other than sight.

Azula gritted her teeth. "Why does it bother you so much? Can you just—_drop it_?"

"The hell I will," Toph growled, pounding her fist into the earth. "Just spit it out. Just _say _it. It'll take you less than five whole seconds and then we can get over it!"

"Why do you need to hear it then, if you're just going to—to get over it?" Azula lowered her voice slightly as she looked away. "It's like I said before: you're just curious."

The urgency in Toph's voice shook her. "Say it."

"There's nothing to say," Azula closed her eyes and drew her knees to her chest, "It doesn't matter to you and it doesn't matter to me! Once you deliver me back to Zuko, we'll have nothing to do with each other ever again so—"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're afraid of telling the truth," Toph jabbed angrily, hoisting herself up on her feet and moving over to Azula's side, "What? Are lies easier to come up with than being real?"

"You have no right," Azula hissed. Toph's words brought back memories of the old waterbender, chastising her by the fire. "Stay away from me—"

"That's what you've always been, right?" Toph seemed to be spitting her words out like acid now, "Scared. Wow, it didn't take me long to figure you out—"

Like clockwork, Azula bristled angrily and turned towards the earthbender, whose eyes were filled a storm that threatened to sweep Azula away if she wasn't careful. She brought her hands up to Toph's face and held her firmly, almost as though she wanted to crush her, and stared into the sightless orbs.

The earthbender swallowed hard and looked almost terrified. "Fire Lily?"

"You want the truth from me," Azula breathed, bringing Toph's face closer to her own, "do you?"

_Stop. Stop this. Say no._

Toph sniffed as she blinked away her own apprehension. "Don't act like you don't want this."

The drumming noise in her ears grew louder and clearer as she heard Toph speak.

_Say yes._

"Whatever." With bated breath, Azula leaned in and crushed their lips together, numbing her own in the process. She heard Toph's whimper and felt shaking hands latch onto her own, holding on as though her life depended on it. Azula pushed harder, unsure of whether she was doing this to prove a point or to curb her desire.

When she parted her lips to taste Toph, she didn't know what to expect. She had a feeling, as the body beneath her froze, that Toph didn't know much about this either.

_Fair enough._

There was a certain sweetness she'd never known before. The lips she kissed were coated with sugar—the only kind of sugar that could sate her carnal hunger and tempt her at the same time. She suddenly remembered the shackles that held her once, and the straitjacket that kept her prisoner.

She revelled in this new captivity until her body screamed for air and she pulled away, breathless and dizzy with need. Toph brought several trembling fingers to her lips, wide-eyed and shaken by Azula's ferocity. Guilt punched Azula square in the chest as her heart leaped, and her grip on the sides of Toph's face slackened.

She pressed her forehead against Toph's with a gentleness she didn't think she was capable of. She was sure the drumming in her head reached Toph by now; the earthbender trembled as she got closer, but made no move to draw back. They sat there in silence for a moment before Azula trailed her fingers down Toph's cheek, her soothing strokes calming herself more than Toph.

"Agni," she whispered, "I want you—_now_. So much… it's wrong."

"I can't see you doing anything else _but _wrong things," Toph's lips curled into a small grin, "This is ours." It sounded like a sinister vow.

She pushed the girl down onto her back and straddled her. There was something about the way Toph looked, lying beneath her, that sent shivers up her spine. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders and fell over Toph's face as she bent over, shielding them both from everything else but each other, her face gleaming with pleasure at the way the body beneath her responded to her every touch and every kiss.

She ran a finger down Toph's neck and kissed the spot where she stopped, and felt the earthbender's body arch and meld into hers, her sighs producing what seemed to be the first strains of a melody. A hand ran through her hair and Azula squirmed at the way gooseflesh was being left in the wake of Toph's touch.

She straightened herself up for a moment, if only to admire what she could only call her prize. A prize for escaping death, or perhaps consolation from being deprived of it. Either way, she felt like a winner.

Azula watched as Toph brought her hand to her lips before she let go, an expectant glimmer in her unseeing eyes. Desire slipped through the cracks in her mind and reached her heart as she bent over again and brushed the hair from Toph's face with her thumb and whispered something in her ear, her hand slithering underneath the fabric to trace her collarbones before descending further and further, savoring every ripple that came after.

Before she could drown and sink deeper, a hand hauled her out of the river. The tendrils of desire seemed to turn limp for a moment as Toph gripped her wrist so tightly that she feared the worst—that the girl had suddenly decided she'd had enough.

"Wait," Toph's eyes widened, her cheeks draining of all color, "Wait a minute."

"What?" Azula groaned, her impatience clawing at her restraint.

"Isn't he here?" Toph pushed Azula's hands away and ran one hand wildly all over the ground beside her. "I mean… the waterbender!"

Azula rolled her eyes. "He's not here," she growled, and moved to kiss her again.

"Then where is he?" Toph narrowed her eyes and put a finger to Azula's lips just as they very nearly made contact with her own. "I thought he was with us."

"He left hours ago, saying something about an uprising," Azula let out a sigh of frustration and straightened her back, "Can we not talk about this now?"

"'Fraid not, Fire Lily," the earthbender sat up, rubbing her face with one hand, "What was it you said? An uprising? You mean like a rebellion? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was busy," Azula clicked her tongue, her eyes falling to Toph's exposed collarbone, "I am _still _busy."

"Spirits," Toph groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead, "We've got to get him back before he kills himself."

Azula let out a dramatic sigh and pinned the earthbender down again. "If we're lucky, he might already be dead."

"Don't say that! Where _is _he?" Toph snapped, her fierceness crushing Azula's good mood into pieces.

The former princess leapt to her feet and crossed over to the remains of the fire from last night, her seething breaths as loud as any clap of thunder. "A few miles north of that village we came from. He said something about mining tunnels—where are you going?"

Toph was already on her feet by the time Azula turned back to her, her face set. "I'm going to find him."

"What good is that going to do you?" Azula glared at her, her hands balling into angry fists, "You're just going to end up dead, and I won't be there to save you a second time."

"I don't need you to be there," Toph stuck her hand into a pocket and fished out the familiar, bloodstained object. She threw it towards Azula, who caught it with ease. The former princess looked from Toph to the bison whistle and then back to Toph again, visibly perplexed. "I'll see you when I see you."

"Don't be a fool," Azula yelled angrily, echoing the unspoken warning she had tried to give Nilak before. Her fist clenched the whistle so tightly she thought it might break. "You're not going to make it out alive!"

Her scream rung across the quietness of the late afternoon and filled her ears painfully as her warning went unheeded. The sun sitting above her seemed to be glaring at her for letting the earthbender slip from her grasp, its heat seeping through her skin and into her flesh.

As Toph's figure disappeared into the mass of trees and greenery, Azula shot a flaming dagger in her direction, knowing it wouldn't hit her even if she put her heart and soul into that one shot. She was sure smoke was billowing from her nostrils and ears as she turned around, forcing herself to move in the opposite direction.

* * *

Azula couldn't pinpoint the exact moment in time she began to feel a disquieting hollowness growing inside her.

She paid no heed to the fact that she was completely on her own now, or that she'd finally regained the freedom she was prepared to snatch back from the beginning. The faint chirping that came from all directions sounded as tuneless as the wind that swept past, its hollow whisper ringing in her ears and seemed to resonate and rattle her bones. _Freedom should be sweeter than this._

Her right hand was still clutching the sky bison whistle, the object weighing her down like a ball and chain, as though it was capable of stopping her from turning around and running after the absent metalbender. Her thumb traced its curves slowly as she moved aimlessly, unsure of her next destination and even the direction she was taking.

Her golden eyes glazed from left to right, unseeing, as she ground to a halt just as the tip of her foot kicked a rock firmly rooted in the soil. She dropped her gaze to the tiny obstacle in her way and stared hard at it, the corners of her lips twitching. It was a ridiculously unwitting reminder of something Toph had said to her before, something about _keeping your eyes peeled_, and Azula felt sure that had she been here, the roguish earthbender might just have sent her falling flat on her face somehow.

Glaring at the rock, Azula strode over to the other side of the path and stationed herself at the base of a tree, her legs crossed tightly. Leaning against the trunk, she lifted the whistle in her hand and turned it over and over in her palm, contemplating the shiny instrument with pursed lips.

_What's the worst that could happen? _Her lips parted as she sucked in her breath and wedged the mouth of the whistle in and blew, letting the high-pitched ring tear the silence to shreds. She lowered it a few seconds later, and raised her eyes to the sky as strained her ears for any signs of a sky bison, or a laughing Avatar. Minutes passed and she picked up nothing but the birds' chirping, singing tunes that were not quite as charming as the swell of Toph's sigh.

_Well, no one can tell me I didn't try. _

She reclined her head back against the aged body of the tree and cast her eyes up to the canopy that towered over her. Only the shade the leaves provided seemed to be forgiving and patient with her. The wind, too, was willing to be her other companion, caressing her face gently and swiping the hair from her face. She turned her head so that she faced the wind and closed her eyes, thinking first of the seasoned waterbender and then the blind bender.

She didn't know when she'd begun to make herself believe that Toph would come back for her. She only knew it was happening the moment the earth began shifting beneath her and vibrated almost with an air of urgency and desperation, and would have knocked her off balance had she been standing up. Azula suppressed a grin as she felt the metalbender coming closer, perhaps with an apology at the ready—_no, that's not something she'd do—_and gripped onto the roughened bark as she hoisted herself to her feet.

The ground shook but no earthbender came tearing through the trees. The wind seemed to have turned angry, whipping her face and almost pushing her back a few steps, and suddenly, everything was dark.

There was a monstrous bellow coming from above her, and a horrendous stench that followed. Azula's heart sank as she watched a sky bison drop out of nowhere at all, right at her feet, and caught sight of a flash of orange in midair.

Within a split second, Aang was standing in front of her, his gray eyes filled with so much excitement it made her want to throw up.

"_You're _the one who called Appa?" His face split into a goofy grin, much like the one Azula remembered in her head, "Gee, that's ironic."

Azula swallowed hard and forced the bile back down her throat, shooting him a grimace. "It's nice to see you again, Avatar."

Aang waved her off and chuckled. "You don't mean that."

"Of course I don't," Azula's eyes narrowed as she watched Katara descend from the large saddle atop Appa, "You've just ruined my day."

"How did you—" Katara stopped herself abruptly as her eyes fell to Azula's hand and the object in her grip, "That's Toph's whistle. How did you get that?"

Azula sighed. "Isn't it obvious, water tribe? I killed your friend and took her whistle so I could lure you into a trap."

Katara opened her mouth to say something, but her brother emerged from the saddle, screaming, with his boomerang at the ready. "You did _what _to Toph? I'm gonna kill you—I was right all along, you _are _trying to take over the Fire Nation—"

"Sedate him before he gives himself a heart attack," Azula directed this instruction to Aang, who spun on his toes and faced Sokka.

"Sokka, calm down," Aang raised his hands, his tone placating but insistent nonetheless, "You're just jumping to conclusions."

Sokka's blue eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "You're defending her? Look around you, Aang! Toph isn't even here!"

"Where is Toph, anyway?" Katara asked, her hand falling to the waterskin attached to her waist, "You still didn't answer my question."

"She left a few hours ago," Azula shoved the whistle into her own pocket and eyed the bison warily, "Said something about an uprising."

"Uprising?" Sokka glared at her. "Don't you mean _your _uprising?"

"Of course," Azula said snidely, crossing her arms over her chest as she regarded him disdainfully, "How could I leave that little detail out?"

"Sokka," Aang's tone was now full of warning. The water tribe boy fell silent and seemed to twist his lips into an ugly pout, lowering his boomerang with visible reluctance. The young monk turned back to the firebender, who was now casually ignoring their presence and contemplating her nails. "What uprising are you talking about?"

"The one I caused, of course," Azula replied without lifting her eyes, "When they found out that I'd escaped, they got angry. I suppose they decided that my escape is an indication of Zuzu's incompetence. I am inclined to agree, if they weren't trying to kill me, too. Then your friend decided to entrust me with the whistle and left to chase down this waterbender who wanted to play hero, so there are your two missing fools."

"What waterbender?" asked Katara.

Azula raised her head and regarded the water tribe peasant for a moment. "I believe you're familiar with Nilak," she said, before directing her gaze elsewhere.

"How did Nilak get into the middle of this?" Katara was now a few steps away from her, and Azula stretched a hand out to maintain the distance. "Not so close, water tribe," her eyes lit up with warning, "He was the one who refused to give me up in the first place."

"Why would he do that?" Katara leaned forward slightly, but made no move to advance towards Azula. "Protect you? Of all people?"

"I've wondered that myself," Azula's eyes met hers for a moment, "You can ask him when we find him."

"We?"

"Yes, we," Azula turned her eyes to the Avatar now, "I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not."

"You don't have a reason to," Aang was looking at her with a curious frown, "Why do you want to come with us?"

"I know we're not exactly the best of friends, Avatar, but I do have a conscience—" Her golden eyes flared with immense irritation as Sokka let out a laugh from the safety of the saddle, "—and as much as I have done thousands wrong, I don't appreciate the thought of having their blood on my hands after they protected me with their lives." The image of Toph, dizzy and weakened from blood loss, surfaced in her mind and she bit back a frown. "Fools," she muttered.

"This is crazy," Katara let out a delirious laugh, "Is it just my bad hearing or are you actually starting to have a heart?"

"Dangerous words," Azula said, her fixed glare warning enough to silence the waterbender. "So are we going or not?"

"Yeah," Aang scratched his head, "Um… I mean…" He shook his head and decided against giving her an answer, and pulled Katara to his side as they retreated into a hushed conversation. Sokka slid down Appa's tail and joined them, their faces the portraits of worry, disconcertment and confusion. Azula watched them, without much interest at all, as they muttered things under their breath to each other before they straightened and turned back to face Azula.

Aang grinned from ear to ear as he gestured towards the bison behind them, "Alright, Azula. Let's go."

Azula narrowed her eyes. "That simple?"

"Of course," Katara's smile seemed slightly forced at this point, and Azula wondered what the Avatar had said to them as she crossed over to Appa. The creature watched her with wary eyes, his teeth slightly bared as she approached him.

"Don't worry about him," Aang said, offering her a hand as he stopped beside her, "Appa won't even hurt a fly."

The bison let out a disgruntled growl, to which Aang responded with a nervous laugh. He patted the side of his companion. "Easy, Appa. She's alright, isn't she?"

"Don't be disgusting," Azula shook her head and grabbed the boy's hand, trying not to shudder from the contact. The Avatar pulled her close and lifted them off the ground with ease, landing noiselessly in the saddle. Azula looked over her shoulder and noticed the jealous frown that had etched itself onto Katara's face, and couldn't help but smile.

"Don't look at me like that, water tribe," Azula said, bending over the edge of the saddle, "I have better taste than that."

"Better taste than what?" Aang looked back from where he was sitting, his eyes darting from Azula to Katara. He ducked his head at Katara's piercing glare and faced the front again, forgetting all about his curiosity.

Azula stared at the water tribe siblings, who had exchanged dark looks the moment they got into the saddle, and kept her gaze firmly locked in place. Sokka seemed to cave in after less than a minute and turned away, but Katara glared back with such bravery that Azula had to mentally applaud her. No one, not even Zuko, could ever win a staring contest against her. She allowed herself a wicked little grin, and the waterbender finally flinched.

_That's more like it._

"Appa, yip yip!"

All too quickly, they were ascending into the sky and the ground below grew smaller. Azula couldn't resist the temptation and tipped her head over the edge of the saddle, her heart pounding in her ears when she realized how high up they were. She'd propelled herself into and across the air before by using firebending, but this was an experience unlike any other.

The wind came like gentle breaths as they flew, and Azula relaxed into its embrace, counting the seconds until she would finally see the earthbender again and finish what she'd started.


	8. Azula's Lies

Happy Saturday once again! What a weeeeeeeeek.

Thank you once again for the kind reviews and helpful pointers! I hope I don't disappoint this week... and I genuinely hope I'm getting a move on in my walk as a writer. I can get so swept away in the process of writing that I lose sight of the more important aspects of story, but that's no excuse. As always, your feedback sharpens me.

* * *

**8**

Azula squinted at the approaching city in the distance, nestled in the crater of the volcano, and realized that they were nowhere near her intended destination. Her eyebrows furrowed suspiciously as she leapt to her feet and crossed over to where the Avatar was sitting.

She could barely keep the alarm from her voice as she spoke. "Avatar, we're going the wrong way."

Aang flinched and ducked his head at her voice. "I—no, this is a detour," he said lamely, keeping his face forward, "We have to, um, get some supplies—" The monk bent over just as Azula swept a flaming arc where his head had been. Katara and Sokka scrambled to their feet and readied their arsenal, but Azula made no move to provoke them further. Instead, she placed her hands on her hips and threw them a fiery glare.

"Why are you taking me back to the city?" she asked frigidly, taking two steps towards the water tribe siblings, "I thought we agreed to find Beifong and the old man first."

Katara kept her hands steady, her eyes fixated on Azula with unwavering alertness. "Change of plans, Azula. I'm sure you understand."

"Actually, I don't," the firebender hissed, and thrust another foot forward. Sokka raised his boomerang a little higher as she got closer. "Or was I wrong for assuming that you cared enough about the blind girl to put aside your mistrust for the moment?"

Aang jumped in between the water tribe siblings and Azula, raising his palms towards both sides. "Okay, everyone, calm down," he urged, "We can talk about this—"

"We talked about this before we set off," Azula seethed, and swept another flaming arc with her hand in the Avatar's direction. She sidestepped the jets of water that barely touched her face, and turned her sharp gaze to Katara, "Lying to me will not get you anywhere! Now turn this bison around!"

"We can't do that," Katara shook her head slowly, "We can't take the risk."

"You're risking the lives of two," Azula's face contorted with rage and panic, "because you were led to believe that I _might _run away? Why does it seem that your stupidity is beginning to know no bounds?"

She took several swift steps towards the waterbender and directed two fingers forward, the electricity crackling at the tips. "I'm warning you—"

"No, I'm warning _you_!" Katara yelled, shaking her head, "Back off, Azula. You're outnumbered here."

"Turn this beast around and I _will _back off," Azula took another step forward, silently challenging them to disobey. "Why are we even having this conversation? Don't you care—"

"We care," Aang jumped in between the two parties again and faced Azula, "But you're our priority, Azula. You were Toph's priority, too. Please, you have to understand. This decision wasn't easy to make."

There was something about the way Aang had said _you were Toph's priority _that made Azula wince. She snapped back to attention in no time, however, and kept her fingers level and steady. The current was ready to be released, though she had no real desire to unleash her power on them. As far as she saw it, they were her only chance of making it to Toph before someone else decided to get his hands dirty with her blood again.

"Then choose your other option before I kill someone," Azula bared her teeth as she snarled, "because all I see right now are three cowards who can't even—"

"We're not cowards!" Sokka bellowed, his face almost comically agitated, "Why don't you just cooperate and stay with Zuko while _we _go get Toph back—"

"It'll be too late by then—don't be so obtuse!" Azula swept the familiar crescent arcs in the air before her, ready to paralyze, before Aang clutched her hand and pointed it upwards, towards the sky. For a moment, Azula thought she was being apprehended by Iroh again.

"You can redirect lightning?" Azula glared at the Avatar, who met her eyes with his own steely, gray ones.

"Stand down," Aang said, ignoring her question, "Please."

"I'll happily play by your rules if you turn around and go back the way we came from." Azula struggled to pull her hand from his grip, but he was stronger than he looked. Her golden eyes glistened with desperation as she lowered her voice. "Please, Avatar."

Aang's eyes widened in surprise, for Azula had never begged before. His grip was still firm, however, and he made no move to release her. "Why do you want to do this so much?"

Her fingers relaxed as she met his eyes, her gaze about to sear a hole through his head. Her voice dropped into a low whisper. "She's injured."

"Azula," Aang regarded her thoughtfully. "You're…"

"I said she's _injured_," Azula said hurriedly, hoping that it would pass off as impatience, looking away. "Now let me go."

Wordlessly, Aang released his hold on her. She let her hands fall limply to her sides and looked expectantly at him. The monk's lips thinned into a line tight with contemplation and worry, his gaze lingering on her before he turned in his heel and took up Appa's reins again.

"We're turning around, boy," Aang tugged at the reins lightly, and the bison swerved to the right, turning in the opposite direction.

"What? Aang, what are you doing?" Katara lowered her hands and walked up to where the Avatar was sitting, "You can't—"

"Trust me," Aang looked over his shoulder, his face set, "I'm worried about Toph." He then looked to Azula. "I trust Azula won't take advantage of us."

Azula let out a soft sigh as the muscles in her jaw relaxed, and smiled at the young monk. Katara, on the other hand, seemed to stiffen even more at his words, an unspoken sentiment shared by her brother. 'Trust' and 'Azula' usually never ended up in the same sentence, unless those they were preceded by 'I don't'.

"Of all the stupid decisions you're making," Sokka threw his hands up in the air, "I sure hope this is worth it, Aang, because if she takes off halfway or decides to stab us in the back, I'm not telling Zuko we even found her in the first place."

"Correction: you found me because I let you," Azula's eyes gleamed with triumph. She scanned the saddle and found only the winged lemur looking at her, bug-eyed with curiosity and wariness, "Speaking of which, where _is _Zuzu?"

"We received word from the palace a couple of days ago," Katara kept her eyes forward, with her arms crossed over her chest, "Something needed Zuko's attention urgently, and we sent him back. He would've stayed with us, but it seemed important."

"They've probably already heard, then," Azula sauntered over to a corner and sat down, "About me. Word travels fast."

"Yeah, pretty much anything that happens right now is going to be your fault," Sokka grumbled, stowing his boomerang away. He stalked over to Azula as he fished out what looked like a long piece of rope, and the firebender recoiled immediately, thrusting out a fist gloved in bright, orange flames.

"What are you doing?" Her eyes narrowed. Sokka's jaw dropped and so did the rope, and he took a few steps back.

"Okay, that didn't work out as planned," he muttered under his breath, before clearing his throat, "See that—" he pointed at her flaming fist, "is why—"

It was like an invisible hand was constricting his throat as Sokka cut himself off abruptly, his eyes transfixed on her hand. Azula followed his line of sight and realized what he was looking at. The flames dissipated as she hastily lowered her hand.

"What are you looking at?" she narrowed her eyes at him, hoping he wouldn't follow up.

Sokka let out a strangled noise and pointed stupidly at her hand. "You were—"

"Sokka, what's wrong?" Katara stepped up beside her brother and fixed a pointed look at Azula, her hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Didn't anyone else notice just now?" Sokka looked to his sister and back to Azula again, "Your flames aren't blue like the last time!"

"So what?" the waterbender snatched the rope off the ground, "That doesn't make her any less dangerous than before."

"Listen to your sister," Azula smiled up at the older boy, "You might regret it if you don't."

Katara tossed the rope back to her brother, keeping her eyes on Azula. "That rope isn't going to hold her."

Azula had to laugh. "If shackles can't hold me, what can?"

In two swift, graceful—as graceful as a peasant can be, anyway—movements, Katara drew water from the skin at her belt and cuffed Azula's wrists before turning it to ice. Instead of stopping there, the ice spread out until her hands were fully encased in their new prison. The icy sensation numbed her; no matter how hard she tried, she could not summon her flames.

Her hands fell into her lap heavily and she glared up at Katara. "Wretch."

"Katara, is that really necessary?" Aang looked over his shoulder at them, concerned.

"Don't forget who she is, Aang."

"Yes," Azula stewed, "Don't you forget it for a second." She failed to suppress a shiver as the ice tightened its grip.

The Avatar let out a sigh as he shook his head, but made no further objection as he faced the front again. Katara glanced down at the icy restraints one last time before turning on her heel to rejoin her brother, after deciding that it was enough to keep the firebender under control.

Hatred smoldered in Azula's eyes as she looked up at the clouds that passed them by, inwardly wishing that one of them would sweep her away once and for all.

* * *

The bison landed in a balding patch of land, not too far from the old village. There was a path just beyond the trees that took them back where Azula had come from but they'd decided against walking out in the open—there were a handful of children, animals and women that littered the way back that would surely recognize the firebender. The prospect of being taken into custody by vengeful peasants was more than enough to warrant Azula's compliance, and she followed them quietly, careful to avoid the ever watchful gaze of Katara.

Aang seemed to have let his guard down completely, or maybe he was keeping an eye out for danger. Azula considered his posture. The young Avatar held himself ramrod straight, with good bearing. His eyes flicked from left to right, more alert than she had ever seen him. She found it ironic that he wasn't trying to guard everything else from her, but kept her thoughts to herself as they ground to a halt.

"Why are we stopping?" She looked around to make sure that it wasn't because they were being followed.

Katara assumed her position at Azula's side again, and checked to see if the ice was still enough to hold her. "Aang's going to take a look before we make a move."

The Avatar already had his glider at the ready, and fixed a warning gaze on Azula. She couldn't tell if it was because he didn't want her to cause trouble, or because he didn't want to find her completely entombed in ice when he returned. "I'll be right back."

He lifted off quite effortlessly, looking as though he was merely taking a huge leap instead of flying, and disappeared into the distance. A gust of wind was left in his wake, and Azula had to turn away irritably so dust wouldn't enter her eyes—it would be unthinkable to request for even one of the peasants help her out of that uncomfortable situation.

She backed away and leaned against a tree. She caught Katara's wary stare and rolled her eyes. "You know I can't do anything while I'm like this."

"That's what they thought, but you still escaped."

"They didn't trap me in _ice_, water tribe."

"It doesn't hurt to be careful."

Azula sighed. "Why don't _you _just kill me and get this over with? It's not like anyone's going to object."

"Zuko would," Katara sighed, "I think he's the only one who would."

"Really," Azula snorted. "That's hard to believe. I was under the impression that he sent you to find me so he can execute me himself. Maybe he's finally scared. Maybe he regrets keeping me alive because that's what allowed me to escape."

A minute passed, and Katara finally gave in to her curiosity. "What _were _you planning to do?"

_Die. Hide. I don't know. I only know I wasn't planning on seeing any of you._

"None of your business," Azula averted her gaze, "You can take a guess, if you want."

Katara tucked several loose strands of hair back into place, shaking her head, more to herself than to anyone else. "Whatever it was, you can't do it now. So forget about it."

"Disappointed?" Azula smiled. "I bet you're just itching to fight me again. I assure you though; I won't be that easy to beat like the last time."

"Maybe," Katara shrugged, "But I'm not taking the bait."

"Smart girl." Azula watched from behind her cover as a few children sped down the path, chasing a stray wingcat. "Why are they out here?"

"Who knows," Katara followed her gaze, "Just the women and children, too."

Azula suddenly thought of something Nilak had said to her. _I gave them a bit of trouble before I left_. She barely pieced her thoughts together when Sokka threw himself in front of her, landing at her feet with arms outstretched. She scrunched her nose and stepped away from him. _What's wrong with him? _

A soft mew caught her attention. A brown cat was perched atop a log, a few feet away from where Sokka was lying. The creature looked at the three wary teenagers with round, green eyes and mewed again.

"Shhh!" Sokka put a finger to his lips and stared intently at the cat, "Good kitty… be quiet!"

The feline ignored Sokka and stretched comfortably before it ambled over to his side and leaped onto his head. The water tribe boy cringed and Azula had to suppress the urge to laugh at how awkward he looked.

"Get it off me," Sokka said, in hushed whispers. His eyes darted to Azula before realizing that she was incapable of helping him, and turned to his sister. "Katara!"

A startled cry reached their ears before Katara could reach for the cat. "Where's Lulu?!"

Azula's eyes met Katara's as they exchanged apprehensive looks. Without further hesitation, Katara dived for the cat and grabbed it, but not before it sunk its claws into Sokka's hair, hissing wildly.

"I think it's over there!" Frantic footfalls approached them as the cat let out an angry screech, upset that it was about to be thrown off its new favorite resting spot. Sokka kept his lips tightly pursed as his face convulsed in pain, until Azula stepped forward and swung at the feline with her iced hands and sent it cannonballing towards the children that were approaching. Once he was free of its hold, Sokka leapt to his feet and rolled behind cover, cursing under his breath as he rubbed at the scratches he'd gotten.

Katara ducked behind a tree and Azula joined her. All three of them strained their ears and heard a few voices muffled by distance.

"_There _you are…"

"We were so worried about you!"

"Hey, she looks angry—hey, _ow_! What gives?"

"Kids, stop tormenting the poor creature!"

"But we weren't—"

"Let it _go_, Xin."

"But _Mom_—"

"Now!"

Lulu let out one last angry, blood-curdling shriek and padded its way—to Azula, Katara and Sokka's horror—back to them. Sokka recoiled as the creature approached him, hissing warily, before deciding he wasn't the one behind its unceremonious displacement. It turned to Katara and Azula now, its green eyes flashing dangerously.

"Get this off me," Azula whispered to Katara, indicating her icy cuffs, "Or else we're going to attract more attention."

"What, you're not thinking of setting it on _fire_?"

"Do you have a better idea?" Azula glared at Katara, who had an equally challenging stare.

"No!"

"Come on, get rid of it!" Sokka kept his eyes on the path outside, "What if they come back for us?"

Their little dispute was interrupted by a murderous hiss, and the two girls looked down at Lulu with irritation. The cat bared its teeth and claws at them, ready to pounce and exact its revenge. Azula shuddered at the sight of the feline's sharp claws and clenched her teeth.

"What makes you think we're going to stay quiet if she lays even one claw on us?"

Katara swallowed and ignored Azula, choosing to drop to a crouch instead. She made strange clicking noises with her tongue at the cat as she approached it slowly. The feline narrowed its eyes and backed away slightly with a raised tail. Its whiskers twitched slightly as Katara spoke.

"Go away, little kitty," Katara smiled at Lulu, "Or else _she's _going to kill you." She gestured towards the firebender behind her and Azula jerked, eyes widening.

"Stop it," Azula kicked Katara angrily as the cat looked up at her now, "Now it's looking at _me_, you stupid witch!"

"She's really mean, isn't she?" Katara turned to Azula with a menacing glint in her eyes before looking down at the feline again, "You should teach her a lesson."

"I'll teach _you _a lesson—"

She'd barely had time to finish her threat as the creature launched itself at her face, hissing and shrieking angrily. Azula's head snapped back as she felt tiny claws sinking into her hair and neck, and attempted to pry the abomination off her face with the block of ice that was her two hands. They wrestled like this for a moment until the cat suddenly ceased its onslaught, retracting its claws suddenly.

Azula shook her head furiously as the cat was pulled off her and found the Avatar standing before her, wide-eyed but straight-faced. The cat in his grip seemed to have sobered slightly, but kept its eyes on its target.

"What… happened here?" Aang asked, looking from Azula to the water tribe siblings, "Where'd this wingcat come from?"

"Hell," Azula sniffed, wincing at the stinging on her face, "No thanks to your girlfriend."

"Katara?" Aang turned to the waterbender, who kept her lips in a tight line. "_You _set this cat on Azula?"

"Well," Katara cleared her throat, cheeks flushing, "It was actually her fault. She hit the poor thing—"

"—after it nearly ripped all the hair off your brother's head!" snapped Azula, black storm clouds surfacing in her eyes.

Aang considered the two girls for a moment, before setting down the wingcat gently on the ground. It rolled over onto its back and seemed to relax in the sunlight, and forgot all about its vengeance for a moment.

"Well, at least you two weren't at each other's throats or anything like that," Aang grinned, visibly relieved. His grin faltered when he caught the unspoken threat in Azula's eyes, and all but gulped loudly. "So, uh, I checked up ahead…" He strolled over to Katara's side, a reasonable enough distance from the fuming firebender, "It's a mess."

"What do you mean?" Katara asked. Sokka looked up from the ground behind her and fixed an equally curious stare at Aang.

"I mean…" Aang started pacing back and forth, searching for the right words, "I mean, it looks like a really huge fight happened there. There were some men cleaning up in there—that's why they sent the women and children out. I watched them for a while before they left."

"Left? You mean they just… left the village?"

"Yeah," Aang nodded, "Headed north. So I followed them."

When he found all three of them looking at him expectantly, he continued, "Then I found a mining tunnel. A lot of them seemed to be in there. It didn't look like they were going to do any mining too." His gray eyes turned to Azula. "They're planning something. I think Toph and Nilak are in there."

"Are you sure?" Sokka asked.

"No, but where else can they go, right?" the monk shrugged, "It's like you said, Azula. Nilak went after them, and Toph went after him."

"Let's not waste any time," Azula stepped over Lulu, "We're moving."

"What she said," Sokka stood up and stretched, "I don't like this one bit."

Aang peered beyond the trees for a moment before moving ahead, and gestured for the rest to follow. Azula moved a few steps just behind Katara when a mew reached her ears. The corner of her lips twitched when she realized the cat was following her, and kicked dirt in its direction. The cat's nose wrinkled and it shrunk back from the onslaught of dust and rocks, before resuming its slow pace behind the firebender when she turned around.

"Looks like someone likes you a lot," Sokka grumbled, taking care to keep his distance from Lulu, "Strange."

"It could be you it's after," Azula said, "After all, it seemed most comfortable on your head."

The water tribe boy blanched and ran up ahead to join Aang and Azula had to suppress a snicker.

* * *

When Azula let out a cough that seemed to shred her throat to pieces, she earned the fullest attention of the three people in front of her. She caught the faintest glimmer of concern in Katara's eye and forced herself to look away, pushing past them adamantly with Lulu at her heel.

"What are you staring at?" Azula glared at Aang, who was right beside her now.

"You don't sound so good, Azula," said Aang, "And you're… kind of pale."

_Agni_. The fever was revisiting her with a vengeance, and Azula wasn't quite sure if it had even left in the first place. She'd forgotten all about it before—now she wasn't sure if the fever was returning because of the icy gloves that kept her powerless, or because she'd neglected it ever since she parted ways with Toph.

"I'm fine," she blinked away the perspiration that threatened to sting her eyes, "Just leave it."

As though on cue, a cough burst from her throat and she had to stop for a moment to breathe. Her breathing turned into heavy wheezes soon after, and she found that she couldn't see straight anymore. Everything seemed to spiral out of control as hands forced her to sit down with a forceful gentleness that reminded her of her first night with the earthbender.

The soft swish of water caught her attention and she cracked open her eyes, watching the waterbender avoid her gaze and focus instead on the water swirling at her fingertips. A furry face nuzzled itself against Azula's ankle as it purred, as though it had sensed her discomfort. She tried kicking the creature away, but she found herself unable to summon any strength. The cat curled itself at her toes and she eventually ignored it, too busy trying to breathe above the raging inferno that was surely going to burn her from the inside out.

"Hold still." Katara's murmur sounded fainter than it should have, and everything began to slide from focus.

The prickly, cooling sensation enveloping her head caused her to sigh with relief, and she slackened against her backrest. Her eyes fell closed automatically as the fire was slowly extinguished, and she barely felt herself falling into a pair of arms before losing consciousness entirely.

_She awoke in the courtyard, in the arms of her mother, to the sounds of squeaking turtle-ducks and the gentle whistle that was the wind. She made to sit up, despite her heavy head, but a gentle hand on her face kept her firmly in place._

"_Don't move around so much," Ursa's voice was like velvet, and her eyes were brimming with concern, "You're running a fever, Azula."_

"_I'm fine," she heard herself squeak, even though her insides screamed otherwise, "Just leave me alone, Mother."_

"_I know you firebenders love the heat," Ursa smiled down at her daughter, "But that doesn't make you invincible against things like this." The older princess tilted her head to the side as she wiped the sweat from Azula's brow, shielding the her child from the sun that loomed above them. _

_Azula squirmed slightly under her mother's touch. "I said I'm fine—" She was rudely interrupted by her own cough and fell silent. Ursa shook her head and felt Azula's neck for a moment, before withdrawing her hand quickly._

"_The doctor will be here soon," Ursa said, her eyes pained and her mouth a sad frown, "If Ty Lee and Mai hadn't come to me when they did…"_

_Azula snorted, despite herself. "Stop talking as though I would have died. I'm stronger than that."_

_Ursa laughed and nodded, caressing Azula's face with light strokes. "That you are, little one," she seemed to lose herself in her thoughts as she spoke, "Perhaps just as strong as your brother."_

"_Don't call me that," Azula's nose wrinkled in disgust, "And everyone knows I'm stronger than Zuzu."_

_Ursa didn't miss a beat. "Your father is like that, too," she said, her tone almost reverent, "He's always so determined to beat your Uncle Iroh at everything. I suppose, in some way, he does have a brilliance that Prince Iroh does not…" Golden eyes beamed down at Azula. "Don't tell anyone I said that."_

"_So I'm more like Father, then?" Azula looked elsewhere and smiled weakly to herself. "That means Zuzu's like you."_

"_Whatever that means," Ursa forced a laugh and brushed Azula's bangs back into place, "You are just as much your father and I as Zuko is. Don't forget that."_

"_But I'm better than him, right?" Azula's eyes finally met her mother's again. "In some ways, at least," she paused for a while before adding tersely, "Like firebending."_

"_Sibling rivalry is healthy, as long as it doesn't get to your head too much. It pushes you both to do better."_

_Azula ignored this. "You still haven't answered my question."_

_Ursa sighed. "Azula, I'm not going to favor one child over another."_

"_Why?" Azula narrowed her eyes. "Father does it. And I'm sure if Uncle Iroh had another child, he would do it too." She smiled. "I suppose he'll choose cousin Lu Ten anyway."_

"_Azula," Ursa's tone tightened with warning, "Don't talk about your uncle that way. And I'm sure your father loves both of you equally."_

"_Hn," Azula rolled her eyes and seemed to cogitate for a moment before saying in a low, conspiratorial tone, "He tells me things, you know. When we're alone together."_

_Ursa's brow creased with worry. "Like what?"_

"_He says my firebending is far more superior," Azula began to count off with her fingers, "and that I'm smarter than Zuzu. Our grades at school really differ, you know—"_

"—_you two aren't even in the same class," Ursa cut in, frowning. "How often does he tell you these things?"_

"_When he wants to," Azula shrugged, "and I know he means it. At least he makes it clear, unlike you, Mother."_

_Ursa flinched at her words, her fingers trembling slightly at the contempt in her daughter's voice. Azula fixed her gaze on her mother a little more intently now. "You like Zuzu more, don't you?"_

"_Nonsense," Ursa shook her head, "I love you just as much—"_

"_Then why do you spend so much time with him? You hardly visit me in _my _room at night."_

"_Is that what this is about?"_

"_Not just that, though. You always take Zuzu out and not me. _I _have to stay in the palace and listen to Lo and Li drone on and on about things I don't understand. Either that or I train—not that I mind, of course," her eyes lit up with pride, "It keeps me ahead of Zuzu."_

"_Azula," Ursa sighed, "For the last time, I'm not playing favorites."_

"_So you say, but your actions speak louder than words," Azula grimaced, "It's _so _obvious."_

"_That's enough out of you."_

_Azula scowled. "It's because I'm right, isn't it?"_

"_It's because you're more wrong than you have ever been, Azula," Ursa chided, shaking her head again, "I can't believe you think I would choose one over the other—"_

"_I don't think, I _know_," Azula slapped Ursa's hand away, huffing, "Just because I'm nine doesn't mean I don't know any better than you adults. Father's the same too—he keeps telling me war meetings are boring and that I don't need to know what's going on, but really, he just thinks I'm going to disrupt them—" She coughed violently halfway and jerked in her mother's arms, and felt Ursa's embrace tighten ever so slightly. _

"_You are still young," Ursa's voice sounded much more distant now, and Azula knew it was because she was hurt, "You still have much to learn. Perhaps in time you'll see and understand."_

"_Sure, whatever," Azula mumbled absently as she smoldered. "Excuses," she added under her breath, so soft that Ursa had barely heard her._

"_What did you say?"_

"_Nothing, Mother."_

_Before Ursa could get it out of her, the royal physician came bursting through the doors and into the courtyard. "Princess Ursa, Princess Azula," the man made frantic bows before approaching the two royals beside the pond, "I got here as soon I received word—"_

"_If you were any slower, I _might _have died!" Azula barked as sparks flew from her fists, causing the flustered man to flinch and lose his grip on his medicine bag._

_Ursa cast a warning glance at her daughter before gesturing for the physician to come closer. Azula closed her eyes and shut herself off from the world and, like every other day, the woman that never failed to shield her from the light of glory, holding her back because she wanted someone else to get there first._

_Azula knew a liar when she saw one. She was, after all, a pretty good one herself._

* * *

When she awoke, it was dark.

Through the haze of sleepiness, she sat up and found herself face to face with a meditating Avatar. His face was the epitome of serenity, his features unmoving and still, as though they were set in stone. She edged away from him and drew her knees close to her chest, startled to find that Lulu was still at her side. She looked down at the sleeping cat and couldn't believe that she was beginning to find it an endearing addition to the group.

It wasn't until she lifted her hands to her face to brush her hair back into place that she realized her icy cuffs had all but disappeared. In their place was some rope, tied into a neat knot that was tight enough to keep her hands locked into place. She tried to summon some flames to see if she was capable of cutting herself loose, but no flames answered her call. With a scowl, she lowered her hands.

"I'm sure they'll come back to you." Aang spoke without opening his eyes. "Katara removed them a moment ago."

Azula narrowed her eyes. "Why not let me stay that way for the rest of my life? They kept me in place far better than those chains ever did."

Aang finally opened his eyes. "How _did _you escape?"

"Pointless question," Azula shook her head and made to get back up on her feet, "Can we move on?"

"Oh, you're up." Katara emerged from the darkness behind her with Sokka at her side. "I was hoping you'd stay unconscious long enough for us to find Toph and Nilak before coming back for you. Guess not."

"I'm sorry that didn't work out for you," Azula sneered, as she stood up. Aang followed suit, and the cat beside them jolted awake as he accidentally stepped on its tail.

Katara let out a disgruntled sigh as Aang placed a placating hand on her shoulder. Their eyes met for a moment and unspoken words were exchanged, before the waterbender turned away and followed Aang into the blackness of the night.

Azula followed after them hurriedly, wishing to make up for lost time. She tried not to think about the earthbender as she moved, and the numbness in her hands that were still beginning to wear off.

Dead leaves and fallen twigs crunched and broke apart under her heavy footsteps, punctuated by the shrill chirps of crickets that Lulu was vigilantly looking out for. The sounds blared in her ears as she moved. She kept her eyes forward, on the lookout for any indication that they were nearing their destination, until several voices in the distance caught their attention.

She could barely make out what they were saying, so she pushed past the water tribe siblings and Avatar until she was close enough. They trailed behind her, all straining to pick up bits of the conversation.

"…that was crazy. Did you see the look on her face? She looked ready to bring the whole tunnel down on us."

"Yeah—but I still think she wouldn't have done that. Maybe she isn't on Azula's side, you know?"

"Please," the first man snorted, "You saw what happened back there. Nilak tossed the bitch to her and she just took off without a word. And now she comes back right after he does? What do you think they're trying to do, man? Invite us to tea?"

"This isn't exactly legal, you know," the second man said thoughtfully, "They might be actin' on the Fire Lord's orders. They might be catchin' onto us, you know?"

Another derisive snort. "Don't be so paranoid. No one knows we're out here except Nilak and Beifong. We just have to keep them under control until someone figures out what to do with them."

"We won't kill them, will we?"

"It's not them we're after, you know that."

"So what if she comes back for them? They helped her, after all."

"We take _her_ instead. I know it ain't my decision to make, but I'd kill her upon sight. You saw what she did to Tong. You saw his body."

At this, Azula flinched. She didn't need to turn to them to know that they were looking at her suspiciously.

"Yeah, but I heard from the other guys that Tong got Beifong into a pretty bad state. Blood everywhere or somethin' like that."

"So what?" the first man snapped, "You sayin' she cares about the earthbender or something?"

"What else could it be?"

Azula could pick up the faintest sound of a fist meeting a palm. "Look, man—the Fire Lord may be much nicer than her, and he may have a heart, but _she's _different. She's like—like Ozai, okay? If this were Zuko punishing Tong for what he did to Beifong—'cause they're friends, you know?—I'd just tell you it was bad luck on Tong's part. Why're you trying to defend her, anyways?"

"I'm _not_! I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, whatever, man. You always were a softie. Why join up if you're just gonna let her go when you finally get her?"

There was the rush of an angry sigh. "You know damn well why I joined you guys! And I'm not going to let her go! I've waited too long for this. But I thought we were just gonna persuade the Fire Lord to execute her, that's all."

"Yeah, we'll see if everyone still thinks like you. Anyway, let's head back in. Our shift is over."

Heavy silence fell upon them now, save for the soft mews of Lulu. Azula swallowed hard and kept her eyes straight, though she knew a storm was approaching.

A slender hand gripped her forearm so tightly that she knew it was probably going to leave a bruise. "You _killed _him?" Katara asked in soft horror, "What were you thinking?"

_About everything and nothing. _Azula met Katara's eyes sharply as she pulled her arm from the girl's steel grip. "You would have done the same if you were there. If you saw her."

"Am I supposed to believe that you did it because of her?" Katara crossed her arms over her chest. "Am I guessing this right?"

"You can guess whatever you want to," Azula spat, ignoring the way her accusing stare pricked her, "If it wasn't for me, your friend would be dead."

"He was—you could've just _knocked him out _or something instead of killing him!"

Azula sighed. "Fine, whatever," she waved Katara off dismissively. "I went too far. Drop it."

"This is serious, Azula—don't act like it's something you do every day!"

The former princess looked at the angry waterbender, her eyes curious. "Isn't it?"

A noise of disapproval came from behind Katara. "At least Toph's not dead, so let's just focus on that piece of good news, okay?" Sokka shot them both a hard gaze. "Now, do we have a plan or what?"

"I can't do much when I'm tied up like _this_," Azula lifted her bound hands, "So I'm assuming I'm sitting this one out?"

"We're not leaving you alone by yourself," Katara seized her hands and Azula yanked herself from the peasant's grip angrily. "You're coming with me so I can keep an eye on you."

"Don't you mean so you can kill me when no one's watching?" Azula had to smirk.

The waterbender shot her a dirty look. "I'm not like you, Azula."

"Okay, okay!" Aang sounded exasperated at this juncture. "Let's just _stop _fighting for a moment and try to work together. Can we do that?"

"If she settles down first," Azula glared at Katara. "Then I will."

"I could say the same for you." Katara met her look with an equally threatening gaze, "How about it?"

"Fine by me," Azula nodded curtly, and both Aang and Sokka sighed with relief.

"Right," Aang squinted in the direction of the tunnel and planted the butt of his staff firmly in the ground. He seemed to stare into space for a moment before he turned back to Azula.

"One more thing," he added, his expression growing serious, "No more killing."

Azula kept her face straight as she raised an eyebrow at him, as though it didn't need to be said at all.

"Duly noted, Avatar."

She twisted her fingers as his gaze averted from her, grateful for the darkness.

* * *

A/N: For some reason, I want to tell you guys that the bit with the cat is based off my own personal experience. As embarrassing as it may be, the creature that attacked my face was not a cat but a baby chick. I was lying on the floor in my best friend's room when it assaulted me (yeah, she keeps the strangest pets) - happily or angrily, I will never know - and naturally, I nearly screamed the house down. This chick later grew up to be a fine rooster... and I still have a score to settle. Awkward.

See you next week!


	9. A Wayward Rescuer

Happy... um... Friday?

I released number 9 a day early because I'm going off for music camp for three days or so, and I decided that an early update is better than a late update. If I put this off until after I come back, I'll take a very long time to give you all an update because I've been down with a crazy fever and literally made no progress for three days straight. I hope this isn't as unsatisfactory as I see it to be. I am my own worst critic, really! :P

Just a side note: I'm not very confident about the action scene I've written in this one, and I would honestly love if I got some feedback about how I did and how I can improve. I feel like that was my weakest part for some reason.

Anyway, enjoy and once again thank you for the support and great advice! I am always intently reading your reviews. I'm going to get back to some of you very soon because I feel like some direct interaction is necessary because I've been feeling a little out of touch lately... oh, I'm rambling again. I'll stop now.

* * *

**9**

The newer guards were considerably younger, Azula noticed as she followed the Avatar. The two men—boys, really—were as stiff as logs, firmly rooted into the ground as though moving away would herald dire consequences. Fear was dripping down the sides of their faces as they fixed their gazes in opposite directions, before turning back to each other with half-smiles of relief, as though they were afraid the other had been snatched.

She dropped into a low crouch beside Aang, who was intently studying the two figures.

"What's the matter?" she asked quietly.

Aang frowned, his gaze never leaving the two boys. "Look at them. Don't you see it?"

She followed the airbender's gaze, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "They're scared."

"Not just that. There's something off about them, but I don't know what."

Azula rolled her eyes. "You're reading too much into it. It's in the middle of the night, and they're supposed to be guarding themselves—and how many others?—from me. I'd find it odd if they weren't afraid, Avatar—very much like you."

The monk turned his gaze to her now. "You think I should be afraid of you?"

"I killed you once, didn't I?"

There was a flicker of understanding in his gray eyes. "That doesn't mean anything. I'm still alive."

"It means everything, Avatar." Azula stood up and straightened herself. "I believe I proved myself worthy of being your most lethal enemy then." She gestured absently to him. In her mind's eye, they were standing in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se once again. "I broke the… Avatar cycle, did I not? You shouldn't be so relaxed around me."

"Maybe," Aang agreed with a slight nod of his head, "But who is the one bound by the hands? You? Or me?"

"You know I can cut myself loose. Don't underestimate me too much."

Their attention was diverted by an ear-splitting scream, just as the sky lit up with a blinding flash. The deep crackle of thunder followed soon after, so close to them that their surroundings resonated with it.

There was a faint thud in the distance as the two figures began to engage in a scuffle. She could pick up muffled screams, panicked and fearful, as Aang shifted uncomfortably beside her.

_There's something off about them, but I don't know what._

"Shit—damn it, Han, calm down!"

There was a strangled sob that pierced the heavy air. "Spirits—she's coming—she's coming for us now! Help me—you've got to help me—"

"She's not—there's no one else here but us, man," the first boy seemed to be pleading with his friend now, "Look at me—look at me!"

"No! No, I know she's here somewhere," the agitated boy snarled. A loud yelp of pain indicated that one might have hit the other, but Azula couldn't be sure who it was. "I saw it—you saw it too, so don't lie to me!"

"Saw it? Saw what?"

"Lightning—her lightning—"

Before either of them could continue, a deep voice came from the inside of the tunnel. "What are you two doing?"

"Shen! Han's going crazy!"

"What happened to him? And why is he bleeding?"

Another scream rippled across the distance and rattled Azula's very bones. She couldn't help but shiver, and instinctively wrapped her arms around herself.

"She's coming to kill us!" the boy—Han—screamed again. He sat up and tried to force his friend off him, but he was weaker and fell easily under the other boy's strength. "Please get me out of here. _Please!_"

"I told you he wasn't fit for the job," Han's friend yelled at the older man before them, "He's never been the same since we escaped Ba Sing Se—"

"Enough of that," the older man said loudly, waving his hand dismissively, "Let's just bring him in. There's a storm coming, anyway."

Azula felt a little light headed as she took a step back. Aang fixed a calm gaze on her. "You understand now, don't you?"

"I see what you meant." Azula shuddered as an icy gust of wind swept past them. There was an eerie singing in her ears that she couldn't quite ignore, and shook her head as though it would stop the ringing. "What?" she snapped, when she realized that Aang was still looking at her.

"Nothing," he shrugged slightly, and picked up his staff, "I just wanted to make sure you saw that."

"It was hard to ignore. Why do I get the feeling you're trying to teach me a lesson?"

Aang looked away, and it took him a long while to answer. "Because if you're going to change—"

"What makes you think I want to?"

The younger boy sighed, almost sadly. "Change is the only constant in our lives, Azula. If that wasn't the case, then you wouldn't be out here."

"You speak of fate." She clicked her tongue. "I could have stayed in there for the rest of my life, Avatar. It was my choice."

"Maybe—but there's a reason for everything, don't you think?"

The former princess scowled, and Lulu let out a cautious mew. "I tire of this. What are you trying to tell me? That I have a new destiny now? That I must become someone like you or someone like my brother? Is that what you're saying?"

"What's so bad about that?" Aang shrugged. "Zuko changed and… look where he ended up."

"At the top of the world," Azula said bitterly, clenching her fists.

"He turned his life around—for the better. Don't you want that?"

"Everything I want is out of reach, Avatar. There is nothing left for me."

She could hear his soft sigh above the crunching of dead leaves under his footsteps. At his movement, Lulu leaped onto his shoulder and curled itself around his neck, as though afraid of being left behind. "If that were true, you wouldn't be here."

Azula paled at his words, but followed him anyway. "Sometimes I forget you have a thousand over past lives inside you."

"Is that a good thing?" He grinned at her. "Sokka thinks it's creepy."

"It depends," Azula brought both hands up to her face to brush her bangs aside. "But I'm sure many people have told you how amazing you are—my input hardly matters. Not that I think the same as your every adoring fan, of course."

"Well… You are my most lethal enemy. Shouldn't your opinion matter to me?"

"You don't really believe that," Azula snorted, "You're the spirit of goodness… or whatever."

"Balance," Aang corrected her. "And you're right. I don't believe that."

The firebender opened her mouth to deliver a caustic remark, but another roll of thunder interrupted her, followed by Katara's voice. "Aang, where are you?"

They stepped out into the moonlight and Aang waved the two water tribe siblings over. Even from afar, Azula could see that they, too, were adversely affected by the scene that had unfolded just a while ago. She tried not to think about the sound of Han's screaming, or the way he spoke about her.

_My own mother… thought I was a monster._

Through the haze of her own thoughts, Azula caught Katara's accusing stare. _This is entirely your fault_, she seemed to say. For no reason at all, Azula thought about Toph and wondered if she, too, felt like everything was her fault. On impulse, her hand dived into the reaches of her pocket and curled her palm and fingers around the whistle.

She eventually dispelled her thoughts and hauled herself back into present time. They were already, by the time she returned, a few dozen steps into the dimly lit tunnel. She could see the rail tracks before them, leading them to what Azula hoped would be the end of her burdened spirit. Somewhere at the end of this darkness was Toph Beifong, Azula knew that much. What she didn't know was what finding her would bring, except that she would perhaps find herself back in the custody of her brother.

Behind them, the soft hiss of rain followed. Azula had to suppress a shiver every time the wind rolled in and grazed her legs, and wondered why she hadn't bothered changing out of the old robes she'd worn since she left the asylum. She was thankful as they descended further into the tunnel, and the ground began to steepen as they moved underground.

"There are so many of them here," Aang said softly. "This is really bad."

"Can you find Toph?" Sokka asked from behind them. Even in the dim lighting, Azula could see that the boy's face was all but creased with worry. If she didn't know of his relationship with the Kiyoshi warrior—what was her name? Azula only knew it sounded like his own name, but that was where her memory of the girl ended—she would have suspected that he liked Toph a little more than he should.

Then, she shook her head, ignoring the guarded stare Katara was giving her. _What do I know of these things, anyway? _

Aang shook his head, and for a split second Azula thought he was answering her unspoken question. "Nothing so far," he said, glancing at his friend, "But let's not give up hope yet."

The water tribe boy fought to keep his posture upright as he walked, saying nothing. His granite composure stirred curiosity in Azula, and she watched him at the corner of her eye, silently wondering when he'd gotten so… serious.

The hard look in his blue eyes died momentarily when his sister placed a hand on his shoulder. Then, as surely as the sun would rise, it returned once he thought no one was looking.

* * *

"Earthbenders," Aang whispered, snapping his head up suddenly, "I can feel them moving the earth. They're… digging."

"Not for more coal," Sokka mumbled absently, keeping his eyes on the road before them. His eyes lit up a few seconds later, along with his entire face. Azula figured out his epiphany before he expressed it. "Wait—earthbenders? Do you think Toph's in there with them?"

Aang paused in his tracks and stamped one foot into the ground, so abruptly that Azula nearly collided into him. His eyes were opened before she even realized he'd closed them. He tried not to look too disappointed as he looked to the three of them, his lips curled into a smile that wavered slightly when he spoke. "She isn't there."

"How can you tell?" Azula asked before she could stop herself.

"It's how Toph sees things," Aang began walking again, "She taught me how to do it some time back."

"You mean… really see?" Azula asked, with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Well, in a way. By doing this, I'll know the place like the back of my hand. And I can see people who are close enough. I know they're there, and I know what they're doing."

"So that's how you found us," Azula looked away, "on the Day of Black Sun."

Aang nodded. "Toph told me you were a really good liar."

Azula threw her head back and laughed. "I doubt you needed her to figure that out. Zuko is proof enough."

Behind her, Katara made a noise of disapproval.

"She said you were the only one who could lie to her face like that. She thought it was amazing."

"Amazing?" Azula licked her lips. "Well, of course it was." It shouldn't have felt like a good thing, but the thought was almost so tangibly delicious that Azula had nearly walked into a wall. Katara yanked her back by the collar at the last moment and Azula felt her face heat up.

"Careful," said Katara, though her tone bore no indication of any genuine concern.

Azula didn't thank the waterbender, and instead took another step back to take a better look at the split path before them. Both roads plunged into thick darkness—the old lanterns that were worn with time did not help very much.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Sokka groaned, running a hand through his wolf tail absently, "Don't tell me we have to split up."

"We'll cover more ground that way," Aang stepped over to the left. "We don't have much time left."

"Fine, but I'm coming with you," Sokka slid up beside Aang.

The monk looked up at his friend with a curiosity in his gray eyes that lasted for a few seconds, before he glanced at Katara. No words were exchanged, but somehow the waterbender knew exactly what Aang was trying to say through his concerned gaze.

"We'll be okay," Katara nodded, though Azula suspected she was trying to say something else, like: "I can handle Azula just fine."

"Can we go?" Azula tapped her foot impatiently before taking off without her designated guard.

The waterbender bit her lip, her eyes sharper than ever when she looked Azula's way as she caught up to her. The firebender noted, with morbid fascination, that Katara was the only one that dared to look her in the eye with unflappable boldness and even rebellion. The only other person who had gotten close to defying her in that way had been Zuko—even then, he'd feared her for the most part and often left her alone when he saw fit.

"I wonder—where did you inherit your boorish lack of respect, from your father or your mother?"

"Neither," Katara replied tersely, "I just feel like treating you nicely won't get us anywhere."

"Us," Azula parroted the word as though she couldn't understand it, "Since when was there an 'us' anyway?"

"My point exactly."

Azula smirked. "If things were the way they used to be, you would probably be fried from head to toe by now."

Katara offered her a challenging gaze. "We're alone now, aren't we? Take a chance, _Princess_."

"Tempting, but I can't imagine the Avatar sparing me afterwards. I might just be the first person he willingly kills." Azula laughed, not caring whether it was disturbing the girl beside her at that point. The very thought of incurring the total wrath of the world's most powerful being—a god, some would call him—sent chills down her spine, the currents making her shudder slightly.

"There are worse things than death."

Azula's mad laughter died instantly, and she lowered her head. Her face was unreadable, but her eyes were angry. "I'm sure my father agrees. But your brother…" she paused for a moment, as though savoring something in the air as she raised her eyes, the anger all but draining from them, "…he does not, does he?"

Katara's brows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play dumb. We both know he's hardly the boy with the boomerang anymore."

"And how do you know? You barely know Sokka."

"That's not the question you should be asking, water tribe. The question is: why is he trying to be something he's not?"

Katara stopped in her tracks seized Azula roughly by the wrist, her fingers seeking to crush. "Don't talk about my brother that way."

"Don't get so defensive," Azula sneered, and tugged her wrist from Katara's steel grip. The waterbender didn't let go and instead held on even tighter. "Unless you believe it."

When Katara said nothing, Azula continued. "I can't help but be reminded of Zuzu when I look at your brother. I guess that's the only thing we have in common—brothers that are obsessed with the idea of growing into men, when all they are and all they will ever be are boys. Not quite like you and I, don't you think?"

"Zuko isn't a boy anymore. He grew up when he turned around and realized what the right thing to do was. You're just bent on belittling him for the rest of your life because of the insecurities you have. I'm not like you, Azula. And Sokka—Sokka's just going through a hard time," Katara looked away and released her grip, "You don't know what he's been through lately."

"Maybe you're right," Azula studied Katara curiously, "But you and I both know that is not reason enough to leave him be."

Katara let out an indignant snort and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you care? He's not _your _brother."

"I _don't _care. I'm just brave enough to voice out your fears for you."

"Well, excuse me if I'm not very thankful right now."

Azula smirked. "You're excused. Now, shall we?"

Katara opened her mouth to answer, but thunderous laughter interrupted them both. The cat beside them hissed angrily at the foreign voice that spoke. "Yes, ladies—we shall!"

Azula barely had time to identify the strangers as jets of fire rushed towards them. Katara shoved Azula out of the way and went into a defensive stance. Three men stepped into the weak lighting and fixed their stares at Azula.

"I can't believe you'd just walk in here like it's nothing at all," one of them spat, a grin breaking out across his sweaty face. "And you're all tied up like a gift… you're way too kind."

Azula channeled the heat into her hands and incinerated the rope that bound her. She rubbed her wrists absently as she got to her feet, her eyes sharp and focused as she took her place beside the waterbender.

"Get them!"

Azula noted almost immediately that they were moving to surround them both. Without blinking, she leapt into the air and landed briefly on the shoulder of the other firebender and launched herself over him. In the midst of her somersault, Azula unleashed flaming dragons his way. When she landed on her feet lightly, she lifted her eyes and saw that the firebender had already cut through her initial attack with a mighty sweep of his leg. His eyes glowered as the flames disappeared, and his lips were twisted into an ugly smirk as he advanced on her again.

A loud explosion from the side of the wall indicated that there was an earthbender in their midst. Azula jumped out of the way of the boulder that flew in her direction, and barely noticed the blur of blue that was rushing to her side, fending off the flames that were meant to engulf her. She landed a distance away on her toes and readied herself as a figure towered over her. Flames erupted from his palms but he barely had the time to strike—Azula had already raised herself up and delivered a roundhouse kick to his jaw. The firebender doubled over and paved the way to where Katara was busy with the other two benders.

Azula seemed to spring forth from where she was standing and landed in front of the gargantuan golem that had taken shape when she wasn't looking. Katara backed away from the earthbender and his monstrous form and was swept away by another, before she evened the odds and fazed her attacker with evasive movements coupled with spurts of water that hit the man in his face. Azula had no time to observe the waterbending fighting form as the golem lunged itself at her. Instinctively, she leaped backwards and drew her knees close to her chest, and felt the golem wrap its arms around her as they tumbled through the wall into the next section of the tunnel.

Alarmed cries reverberated in her ears as she flew out of the golem's clumsy grasp. The impact of her fall caused her to squeeze her eyes shut at the blinding stars that came out of nowhere, dancing with a whole gamut of kaleidoscopic colors. She brought a hand up to the back of her head and felt a warm dampness before scowling, and she got up on her feet just as a screaming boy launched himself at her and pinned her to the ground.

She groaned at the painful landing once more and cracked open her eyes. Han towered over her, his eyes wide with hysteria as he screamed for help. "It's really Azula! She's here to kill us all! Someone get her before she—"

Azula silenced the boy by delivering a swift jab to his chest, and he yelped out in pain as he rolled aside while clutching at the spot where she'd hit him. She couldn't help but feel that Ty Lee would have been proud and endlessly delighted that one of her techniques were finally used by her friend, but her momentary reflection was interrupted soon after. Azula rolled out of the way of the murderous golem that was still bent on crushing her alive, and got to her feet again.

The golem was now backed by four other men—one of them being the deranged boy's friend. He looked more hesitant than the others and eventually decided to go over and help his friend instead of attacking Azula as the others advanced towards her.

"Just be good and stay still and this will all be over!"

Azula decided against dignifying the man with a response, and instead let him run into her palm charged with electric currents. The man jerked backwards violently upon contact, and flew a few feet away, into the arms of his more thoughtful comrade, who had chosen to stay back. A glint of silver in the air caught Azula's attention, and she barely dodged the blade that had almost made contact with her face. She hadn't been fast enough though; the edge of the weapon sliced neatly into her shoulder and she leaped back, scowling angrily at the warrior that was holding the sword smeared with tiny droplets of her blood.

The golem forced its way through her smaller foes and brought a mighty fist down on her. At the last moment before it struck, Azula grabbed at its thick wrist and hoisted herself up, taking care to hold on tightly as it pounded the earth strongly. Her heart stampeded furiously against her ribcage as the arm lifted once more, determined to smash her into the nearest wall. As the large figure sped blindly towards the wall, Azula took a deep breath and, facing her palm outwards, delivered a strike laced with flames into the side of the golem's face. Instantaneously, the rock was blown off and Azula wrapped her fingers around the man's neck.

He swung violently to the side and forgot all about his intended course of action, screaming as Azula's heated hand singed his neck. She sunk her nails into his flesh and let the last of the air in her lungs rush out through chapped lips as she set the man on fire.

She leaped off the figure and looked on as the earthbender fell to the ground, his rocky armor crumbling to pieces as he cried out. There was no time to admire her handiwork; the swordsman had returned with a vengeance after witnessing the fall of his friend. He unleashed a flurry of swings at her, the blade slicing through the air as she avoided his offense. She tried not to let his agility get the better of him and dropped into a low crouch before taking a swing at his legs. The man had been so consumed in attacking her that he hadn't expected her sudden movement; he tumbled to the ground with a groan.

Azula kicked the sword from his hand and pressed down on his chest with a single foot. "Where's the metalbender and the old man?"

The swordsman blinked multiple times before his eyes slid back into focus. "What makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

"Fine," Azula lifted her foot briefly and lodged it into the side of his face, barely blinking at the sickening crunch that followed after. She turned to the last man standing now, who looked on with horror in his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to waste more lives first?" Azula took one step towards him and he responded with a step backwards. Beads of sweat trickled down his face as he went into the usual firebending stance.

Azula sighed, her eyes losing the glint of interest. "You're a firebender? I never would have guessed."

The man's moustache bristled under her insult. "You won't get out of here alive."

The former princess lunged forward with one leg and thrust a fist at his head. Her flames hissed as they made contact with the spot in the wall where his head was, and he ducked away in fear. She straightened herself once more and stalked towards him with a disapproving glare. "Come now, where is your boldness? Firebenders aren't supposed to be so weak and fearful. You are a disgrace to your nation! Correct your stance and fight, if you don't want to tell me where they are."

The man let out a cry—perhaps of desperation or anguish or fear—and dashed towards her, shooting fireballs at her with every step he took. Azula dodged these easily; his skills were watered down by fear, and he knew this to be true as he found himself face to face with the former princess. His face became pallid as her slender fingers reached up to his chin.

"What a shame."

His face lit up with a wave of electricity. Azula shoved him to the ground as though casting a diseased thing from her hand, and watched with empty eyes as his form writhed uncontrollably on the ground.

"Anyone else want to try their luck?"

As the body became still, Azula found a blade pressed up against her neck. She almost found it impressive how her silent attacker managed to catch her off guard, and tilted her head slightly so that she could see his face.

"Do you really think you'll be the one to slay me?"

The boy swallowed. "That wasn't the plan."

"Then what? You know I won't give up without a fight. Either way, you're still going to lose."

"I have the upper hand," his voice wavered slightly as he spoke, "You know this."

Azula grinned, despite herself. "Do I?"

His breathing was impeded by her confidence, and she felt the blade tremble upon her skin. She reached up to his hand with her own and snaked her fingers around his wrist slowly. "Watch it, there."

"I'm not going to tell you where they are."

Laughter burst forth from her chest as she tightened her grip around his wrist. "Predictable little slobs," she said disdainfully, "Do you think you're being brave by denying me what I want? Let me tell you—this is foolishness. Every time you say no to me, I kill one more man in this place. Choose wisely, now."

"They'll be coming for you soon. They couldn't have missed the sound of fighting from here."

"Keep telling yourself that. You know I am more than capable of handling every single one of you here."

The boy forced out a laugh, void of humor. "That's what Beifong said… and she fell, too. Granted, she was good… but there were too many of us." His voice lowered towards the end, as though he was speaking with regret.

The gears in her mind began whirring as she drank in his words. Anger surged through her veins and set her blood on fire, traveling all the way to the very fingers that were clasped around the boy's wrist. He screamed in pain as he tried pulling away from her grip, sinking his blade into her neck in the process. Azula gasped as the weapon sliced a line in her neck, and quickly pushed his hand away. She stepped away from him with a hand over her latest wound, not even bothering to look at the younger swordsman that was clutching at his burning good hand.

A voice rasped from behind her, just as Azula wiped the blood from her neck, "You—what did you _do to him_?"

She'd almost forgotten Han was there. She spun on her heel and faced the boy, mostly unscathed except for the bruise at the corner of his mouth. Han struggled to get on his feet and looked straight at Azula with a blackness in his eyes that sent chills up and down her spine. For one reason or another, Azula thought of her days in the wheelchair and straitjacket. She wondered if this was how people felt when they looked at her then.

"Stand down, or else you're not going see the light of day again," she warned, taking a step back as the ground began to shift beneath her.

"Han, get out of here!"

"No!" Han's eyes grew livid as he glanced at his friend. "I'm going to protect you, Jin! I'm going to kill her for what she did to you!"

"Stop, it's too dangerous!" Jin roared hoarsely from where he was laying.

His advice fell on deaf ears as Han let out an angry shriek. Azula nearly lost her balance as the entire place began to shake, and fell back against the wall behind her to keep upright. The ceiling above them crumbled loudly and so did the ground below their feet.

"You fool, you're going to kill yourself and your friend!" Azula screamed at him. She felt the warm softness of Lulu brushing against her ankle and half-wondered how the creature even survived the chaos in the first place.

Han's eyes softened momentarily before he remembered where he was. "You're lying!"

_Agni! _Azula gripped at the wall behind her, searching for something to hold on to, before Katara and another familiar face plunged into the scene.

"Azula!" the old waterbending master called out to her, staring at her and the bodies strewn all over the trembling floor. He grew pale as he realized what took place, but decided that this was not the time to address the issue. Katara understood this, too, and together with Nilak, immobilized Han in ice before he could bring the entire place down on them all. He writhed within the confines of his icy tomb and screamed at the waterbenders as they passed by him.

"Good timing," Azula pushed herself off the wall and dusted herself off. She looked up at Nilak, whose face was decorated with cuts and bruises. Her heart plunged as she wondered whether Toph was in the same state—or worse. "How did you two—?"

"The earthbender forced me further away and I ran to hide. Then I found Nilak and we came back to look for you." Katara's eyes were hardened as she looked at Azula, and she gestured to the dead bodies and an unconscious Jin lying a few feet from them. "What is _this_?"

"This is self-defense." Azula avoided her eyes, and looked at Nilak. "What? You don't believe me?"

"That is just an excuse, isn't it?" Nilak crossed his arms over his chest.

"Aang told you not to—_none of us wanted you to kill anyone_!" Katara jabbed a finger into Azula's chest and pinned the girl against the wall, her blue eyes flaring up like her absent sapphire flames. Azula shook the illusion from her eyes and scowled as the waterbender continued screaming in her face. "You just couldn't resist, could you? You just had to get your hands dirty somehow because that's how you were raised, wasn't it? You're sadistic and cruel and these people—they're only doing all of this because of you! This is _your _fault, not theirs!"

Azula shoved Katara away, seething. "Keep talking, water tribe, and I'll blow your mouth off!"

"What, is it making you feel bad?" Katara let out a derisive laugh. "Wait, I'm sorry—you don't feel anything! That's why you tried to kill Zuko—your own _brother_—all those years ago! All you love is power, and nothing else matters to you! I don't even know why Zuko wants you back alive anymore—"

"That's enough, you witch!" Azula raised her hand and swept it across Katara's cheek roughly. The waterbender stumbled backwards from the sudden impact, and Nilak had to intervene before Azula slapped her again. His hand caught hers in midair and he glared angrily at her.

"That's enough out of _you_!" Nilak said loudly, pushing her hand down. "Both of you!"

His thunderous roar seemed to jolt Han out of his daze, and he fixed a hard gaze on Azula. "You're still here…?"

"Agni," Azula muttered under her breath.

Han's eye twitched as he looked on in anger. "Why are you still _alive_?"

There was no proper response for a question like that, and Azula soon began to ask herself the very same thing as the maddened boy resumed his work—and brought down the entire ceiling on them all.

* * *

Azula never had a fear of falling, partly because she could always land on her feet or soften her landing with her firebending. Now, as she fell through the ground as it gave way, with Katara and Nilak somewhere near her, she realized no one ever feared falling.

All anyone feared was the landing that came after.

She hit the ground first, and the back of her neck made contact with a rock. She let out a groan of pain as her neck grew stiff; she rolled over and found herself unable to move or turn her head anymore. The debris came crashing down on her, as though she hadn't had enough torture yet. She swore she could hear the cries belonging to Katara and Nilak above the tumult of crashing rocks as she fought to dig her way out of her would-be tomb, her palms pushing with increased urgency.

"Fire Lily…?"

The familiar voice brought back her strength, and she pushed a large piece of rock off her with startling force. Blood trickled down the side of her face and down the bridge of her nose as she sat up, squinting through the dust that swirled all around them. She could see the unmoving forms of Katara and Nilak in a corner, and the dead bodies men almost completely buried underneath the wreckage, with their limbs twisted at unlikely angles. Han was dead—or maybe just unconscious, and his friend Jin looked to be the same.

She searched for the source of the voice she had not heard in what seemed to be an eternity, pulling her legs out from underneath the rubble as she did so. She struggled to get back up on her feet and swayed slightly on the spot as she tried to ignore her fragility; if one more rock hit her, she guessed she might just fall to pieces.

She raised her head with difficulty, but forgot all about the pain when she caught a glimpse of the familiar green fabric, just a few feet from where she was standing. She stumbled over to the where the metalbender was chained, taking care not to trip over her own feet or debris, and finally fell to her knees when she was close enough. Pain shot up her thighs and she gasped, eliciting a look of concern from Toph.

"So it really is you," Toph whispered. A smile broke out across her lips, despite her state. "Whoa."

Azula looked at Toph through narrowed eyes. "You didn't think it would be me?"

"Not anytime soon, to be honest." Toph threw her head back slightly and closed her eyes. "I can't believe you risked your life just to find me. I can't believe you would ever… do something like _this_. And you're hurt, aren't you?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Liar," Toph laughed. "You're really stupid, Azula. Just sometimes."

Azula tried not to shudder at the way Toph said her name. "This will be the first and the last time."

Her eyes fell upon the metalbender's old wound and saw that it was bleeding again. Instinctively, she pressed her fingers to it and let her eyes travel back up to Toph's face. There were fresh cuts and bruises where untouched skin should have been, and Azula couldn't help but let out an angry sigh.

"What did they do to you?" Azula murmured, not bothering to hide the ire in her tone.

"Gave me a few injuries then knocked me out. What else is new?"

Azula reached up to her chains and held on to her cuffs, mostly for support rather than anything else. When Toph lowered her head, Azula leaned her forehead against hers. "I went to… so much trouble… just for you."

A weak groan escaped Toph's lips. "If you're gonna start complaining—"

"Not quite. I'm just letting you know how thankful you should be, based off my efforts."

"_Oh_," Toph stretched the word, her green eyes twinkling with amusement, "Sheesh, is that all you think about?"

Azula aligned her lips with Toph's. "Yes, and I'm blaming you for it."

By the time their lips met, Azula felt as though she'd already lived a whole life. Harmless heat rushed up her stiffened neck and reached her face as she deepened their kiss, and she clutched into the metal cuffs as though she needed to anchor herself from the tides of desire. It was hardly the place to engage in a passionate reunion, this she knew well. Eventually, she pulled away from previously dried lips and drew back from Toph.

Her hands fell to her sides as she glanced at Katara and Nilak. "We… have to go."

The metal cuffs split apart quite easily and Toph fell over and into Azula's arms. The metalbender had a devilish grin on her face as she stood up, and pulled Azula to her feet. Just at that moment, Katara stirred and let out a pained groan.

"Sugar Queen?" Toph's sightless eyes lit up as Katara emerged from the depths of the debris. The waterbender stood up in a dazed manner and looked to Azula and Toph, barely noticing the thin line of blood that trickled down her neck.

"Toph…" Relief flooded her face and lit her eyes. "You're alright!"

"Yeah, better than you guys, anyway," Toph sniffed, "At least I wasn't buried in rocks. What did you guys _do_?"

"We did enough," Katara said, casting a sidelong glance at Azula as she did so.

"Is everyone here?" Toph swept her fringe absently with a hand dirtied with dried mud.

As though on cue, the Avatar landed noiselessly in the middle of the debris. Without a word, he quickly rushed over to Katara's side and took her in his arms, holding her close. Sokka dropped in soon after, wielding his boomerang at the ready.

"I'm fine," Katara said, as she drew her head back to look Aang in the eyes, "A little shaken… but we're okay."

"We came as soon as I felt it start, Katara. I could have stopped this…"

Katara held Aang's face in her hands. "It's okay, Aang. At least we're all safe now."

"Looks like we missed the party," Sokka walked over to Nilak's side and hoisted the old man up on to his shoulder slowly. He turned to Toph, and a dopey grin spread across his face. It was a sight quite unlike what Azula had seen since they'd found her in the forest, and she caught Katara's eyes, giving her a meaningful look. "Toph! You're alive!"

"You thought I was _dead_?" Toph rolled her eyes. "I'm taking that as an insult."

Sokka ducked his head. "Sorry, I was just… you know… worried."

"I know." Her grin returned to her lips, and she swung an arm around Azula's shoulder just as her legs began to give way. The former princess supported her with every ounce of her strength, and they ambled together over to where Aang was.

The Avatar looked up at the hole Han had created with his earthbending. They were deep underground, but even from where they were standing the night sky could be clearly seen, if it was any indication of Han's earthbending prowess.

"Let's get out of here," Sokka said, following Aang's line of sight.

"Wait." Katara walked over to where an unconscious Han was sitting. She opened her waterskin and began healing the boy's wounds, before moving on to Jin's charred right hand. Azula watched as the swordsman's hand was restored to what it was before she set it on fire, and looked away just as Katara stood up and turned to face them. Aang looked a little confused as he set his eyes on the two boys, and gave Katara an inquiring look.

"Who are they?"

Katara shook her head and smiled weakly. "No one. They'll be fine. I think it's best if we just leave them."

The monk deliberated over this for a moment, before nodding in response. Azula could only guess it was because she was around, but found the notion appropriately relieving, nonetheless. Once Aang saw that everyone was ready, he pulled out his own bison whistle and called for his trusty companion.

Azula sighed and looked back at the metalbender, who had by now relaxed into her arms.

"Time to go home, huh?" the blind bender mumbled, softly enough so that only Azula could hear her.

_Home_. The word was foreign to her.

The firebender stared into the deep pools of green that shimmered with relief and happiness and instinctively pulled the younger girl closer to her. "Whatever that is."

Eddies of wind whirled dust into spirals as the bison landed above them with an almighty thud. Azula lifted her eyes and saw the head of the creature peering back down at them, baring its teeth as it called out for its master. Without warning, the earth beneath them shook just as Toph raised her free arm, propelling them out of the suffocating reaches of the underground and into the refreshing coolness of the night. Azula's cuts stung as the wind whipped all around her, but she savored the open surface.

She crossed over to the saddle, all the while keeping a vigilant hold on Toph's waist. Nearly losing her balance as Appa took off, Azula held onto the edge for support and swayed on her feet, almost tipping over the side before Toph pulled her back down.

"Easy," the metalbender said. "I thought you said you weren't injured."

"I thought you said I was a liar," Azula reclined her back against the side of the saddle. "You _can_ tell if I'm lying, right?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Fire Lily. You know I can't. But that last one was pretty obvious."

"Just checking to see if I'm still as… amazing," When Toph raised an eyebrow at her, Azula added, "Your words, not mine."

"Twinkle Toes has been talking, hasn't he?" Toph actually growled at this point, and her cheeks turned scarlet. "He tends to exaggerate a lot when he tells stories. I wouldn't take him too seriously if I were you."

"Oh, I think he did just fine. Don't get all flustered, unless his exaggeration was the truth."

Toph scowled, but made no move to edge away. "Whatever. It wasn't like I was in love with you then, okay?"

"And what about now?"

There was a long pause before the metalbender answered her with a snort.

"Fine, _don't _answer me."

They fell into silence as Azula watched the sky above them, and the stars—unreachable jewels, really—that were left behind as they picked up speed. She didn't know how long she'd been staring at them when she felt the back of Toph's head rest against her shoulder. Lifting her head, she realized no one was paying them any attention anymore. Katara was attending to the old waterbender, and the Avatar was at the reins as usual. Sokka faced his back to Azula and Toph, his head bowed as though he was praying and his wolf tail whipping to the side as the wind came. It was the first time in a long time that no one cared she was around.

No one but the girl she had her arm around.

She lowered her gaze and looked into the unblinking eyes of Toph Beifong, and saw the twinkle in them. She drew in her breath slowly, becoming still as she watched the starlight in the eyes that saw nothing and felt sure, in that moment, that the wonders in the sky had just become a little less far away.


	10. The Girl In The Mirror

Happy Saturday!

We're moving along nicely now, I think... I hope. The week's been kind of rough for me. I fell sick again :P

Anyway, I just felt the need to share this with you guys because it's made my day: I finally received my end semester results and I've managed to clear all my modules, and even snagged an A for computer programming. Engineering is a nightmare to me, so this is really good news. Whew!

With that, enjoy!

(Also, I don't know if I should up the rating to M or not. Thoughts?)

* * *

**10**

Huddled beside the metalbender, Azula looked over the edge of the bison's body and stared down at the royal palace. She'd always imagined herself returning one day, even if it was a foolish and distant dream, but she'd never thought it would be like this. She didn't think her hands would be bound, for one. She was supposed to be the Princess—not a prisoner in her own homeland.

_Such idle fancies, _Azula thought to herself with a grimace.

Soft raindrops flew into her face as the sky bison began dropping into a slow descent, inching away from the auburn afternoon sky and edging closer to the ground. She glanced absently at Aang, who kept his eyes forward as he eased his beastly friend downwards from the reins. Katara was already packing up, kneeling beside the old waterbender who was just coming out of his slumber. The girl met Azula's empty gaze for a second or two before looking away.

Katara had been quick, but Azula was quicker.

They were glad to be finally rid of her.

_Just like everyone else._

Appa landed in the royal plaza with an almighty thud, and Azula rose immediately. She kept her face unreadable as she descended from the beast's saddle, and felt Toph shuffle up beside her. She kept her eyes forward, all the while wishing for time to pass faster. The prospect of speaking to Zuko after so long left a bad taste in her mouth. She knew he wouldn't have anything nice—or sensible, at the very least—to say, and she had an inkling as to what he was going to do with her after. Her muscles began to tense as they started walking, with Aang in the lead.

She hung her head slightly when they ascended the pearly white steps, and fixed a stare at nothing in particular. It had been so long that the entire place ceased to welcome her. It felt nothing like home. She now walked the floors of a foreign place, one that didn't particularly appreciate her presence. Everything felt cold here, and it wasn't just because of the rain.

Even as she averted her gaze from anyone and everyone, she could feel the eyes of the guardsmen watching her. It wasn't hard to imagine their faces; all twisted with horror and maybe even rage. She lifted her eyes at the top of the steps and looked over her shoulder, catching the eye of the nearest soldier. He jerked back in surprise under her hard gaze, and fidgeted uncomfortably when she did not look away.

Azula was beginning to find the fun in staring him down when a hand tugged her by the arm. She whipped her head back and saw Toph and the questioning look on her face. "Come on. They're waiting for us up ahead."

It didn't occur to her that she'd slowed into a stroll, and she began walking again. The metalbender stayed by her side, keeping her hands by her side. After a while, her green eyes flicked over to Azula, stark with apprehension. "He's going to lock you up again, isn't he?"

Azula's expression grew slightly darker as she looked towards Toph. "Without a doubt," she answered evenly. "Either that or I'll die. I've upset a lot of people—but that's old news, of course. I can't imagine my brother, the Fire Lord, would let me off so easily this time."

There was a long pause before Toph spoke again, "And?"

"And what? Does there have to be more to it?" Azula lifted her bound hands and curled her fingers so that she could see her nails. Dried blood lay under them, mixed with dirt and soil. Slowly, she began to pick at her nails, concentrating more on that act rather than the conversation.

A soft scowl escaped the lips of the metalbender as she shoved her hands forcefully into the reaches of her pockets, a gesture that Azula now recognized as a habit. "Never mind, it doesn't matter," she huffed, and fell silent.

"Finish what you've started," Azula demanded, looking up from her nails and frowning at the younger girl, "What were you going to say?"

"I wasn't going to say anything." The metalbender shrugged and increased the pace of her steps, her footfalls echoing in the vastness of the palace as they entered it together. "Just forget I said anything, Fire Lily."

"Speak your mind, Beifong. It's not like I have all the time in the world to wait for you to admit things to me."

Her words seemed to have an effect on Toph as she reluctantly ground to a halt. "Didn't you save my life back there?"

"Yes, I did. What's your point?"

Toph looked ready to punch something.

"So don't tell me you went to all that trouble just to get me out of harm's way only to stuff yourself back into that cell of yours at the end of the day."

Now it was Azula's turn to stop walking. She locked her fingers together tightly as she turned on her heel. "What do you want to hear from me, exactly?" _Even I don't know what I want to hear from me._

Toph crossed her arms over her chest and managed a glare. "Tell me how you feel. You know, human beings have things called _emotions_—those things. Tell me."

"What makes you think I feel anything right now?" Azula narrowed her eyes. "Why do you want to hear it?"

"'Cause I want to," sighed Toph, "Do you have to be so hard to handle all the time?"

"This is hardly me being difficult. Ask Zuzu. Now, _you _tell _me—_what do you want me to say?"

"Tell me why you came back for me. And _don't _change the subject."

Azula's fingers dug into her own skin as she drew in her breath. She closed her eyes and forced her drumming heartbeat to slow down, and thought of things that didn't make her shudder. She thought of the dead bodies that surrounded her. She thought of the little cat that was now missing. She envisioned things that people could not see through, like dull, dreary skies. Blue flames danced in the palm of her hand as she stood underneath the gray sea, and she could almost feel their familiar warmth.

That same heat traveled up her arm and up her neck as hands cupped her face. She kept her eyes closed tight as soft lips landed atop hers, and found that she could no longer picture her flames. The drumming started again, this time much louder, and she swayed to the side slightly as she inhaled Toph's heady scent. She then thought of vast grasslands that never ended.

_This is why._

When Toph trailed her kisses all the way up to Azula's ear, the firebender seized the chance and pressed her lips against the girl's jawline. She felt the metalbender tense under her touch, and continued kissing her all the way down to her collarbone.

_This is why I saved you._

Toph's lips parted against her skin as though she was going to say something, but Azula refused to let her do so and bit the side of her neck. The effect of her action was instantaneous—Toph gasped and buried her face in Azula's hair as her hands reached up to her neck, effectively holding her in place. If she hadn't been so caught up in the act, Azula might have smirked. It was far too simple to deal with this girl—Toph had an undeniable weakness for her.

Azula told herself she was in control. Her hands slithered downwards, delighting in the lean, muscled body of the metalbender.

It didn't take Azula long to remember where they were and what they were supposed to do. She pulled away from Toph's hold on her and took a step back, watching the rise and fall of Toph's chest as the girl fought to keep her composure.

"Um, guys?" a voice echoed from a distance away, "What are you two doing back here? Zuko's waiting for you, Azula."

In a flash, the Avatar was wedged in between the two. He was blissfully oblivious of what just happened, and Azula felt sure he would collapse from embarrassment had he known. She fought the urge to laugh as he walked off, gesturing for them to follow. "Come on, he wants to see you."

"I doubt it's for the reason you think," Azula said, her voice uncharacteristically chirpy, but followed after Aang nonetheless. She cast a glance back at Toph, whose face was creased with concentration as though she was deep in thought. Azula let her gaze linger for a while before turning back to the front, once she'd caught Zuko's voice from the reaches of the throne room.

He was pacing up and down when she entered the room, biting his lip until it turned white. His fingers were tightly knotted together behind his back as he walked, his robes flapping behind him like extensions of his unease and apprehension. Azula couldn't help but think that he looked nothing like a Fire Lord, and that he was merely trying on the outfit for size.

When he realized she was there, he looked up almost warily, his golden eyes gleaming with what seemed to be relief and fear mixed into one. After a long, hard stare, Zuko cleared his throat and straightened himself, keeping his hands behind him. "I can't believe you'd pull a stunt like that."

_Is that all you can say? _"Good to see you too, brother," Azula let out an artificial chuckle, "It's nice to know I was missed, though you could have expressed that a few years earlier."

There was a moment when Azula thought he would actually wince, but the young Fire Lord held his ground. "Enough of that," Zuko said flatly, crossing over to where she stood in large steps, "What were you thinking, Azula? What are you playing at?"

"You ask me that as though I'm always playing a game whenever I decide to do something. Zuzu, I'm hurt. I'm much more serious than that. You know me." She smiled coyly at him.

"No, you're not! I _don't _know you at all!" Zuko's golden eyes were blazing, the way hers did whenever she was angry. Granted, its intensity was not quite as intimidating, but Azula had to admit there was a stark similarity. It was perhaps the only thing that bound the two of them together as siblings, until the very end. "You—you don't understand what you've _done_, Azula. The whole city—the whole nation! They're asking for _your _head and for _me _to step down because they think I'm incompetent for letting you escape!"

Azula resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm disappointed they realize that only now."

The Fire Lord's flames grew in intensity as Zuko took one more step towards her, so that they were only inches away from each other. His voice was a deep, resonating growl. "Stop it."

She met his eyes with a fire of equal strength in her own, engaging in the age old staring contest she'd always have with him when they were younger. The only difference was that they were much older, and their problems were larger, to say the least. Predictably, his gaze wavered after half a minute passed. She almost smiled.

"What are you going to do if I don't? Execute me? Make me stand trial and _then _execute me? Pick your poison, Zuzu, and pick it quickly!" She stepped around him and walked up to the empty throne, surrounded by furiously tall flames. "Killing me is the only answer, is it not?"

"No, it's _not_," Zuko said, a little more calmly this time, "As much as the world seems to think so, you're still my sister."

Azula laughed again, despite herself. She couldn't believe how fickle he was, even at this point. "And what does that mean?"

She faced her back to the throne, watching Zuko with unsympathetic eyes. He seemed to be choking on his own words as he averted his gaze and turned away, so that she could only see his good eye. "Don't change the subject. I want to know why you did what you did."

"What does that matter? You've already got me back here. I'm ready to be shipped back to my room in chains. Shouldn't that be enough for you?" She sneered at him. "I'll disappear once more, and perhaps this time I'll stay put."

His eyes glistened with sadness, but he blinked it away as soon as he realized Azula was staring. "It's not that simple, and you know it," he strode past her and made his way back to the throne, "Things are happening because of you. The city is at a constant unrest because they fear what might happen now that you're here in the palace. Some of my most loyal men, or so they claimed, have defected from the military, from the city… to support these rebels that are growing in number. Don't you realize how serious that is? Locking you away won't make it all go away."

"And letting me wander around like this will?" Azula frowned up at the Fire Lord. "I never did understand your lesser ways."

"If I put you back in the asylum, you're only going to break out again," Zuko looked down at her from his throne. Azula couldn't help but marvel at how much he looked like their father as the shadows played upon his face. He looked fearsome, but she knew better. He was just a boy, at the end of the day, trying to accomplish something that was hardly an admirable endeavor. "And besides, spending four years in there didn't seem to change you at all."

"Everyone wants me to change," Azula sighed, with as much melodrama as propriety allowed. "It's not like it's going to make the world a better place or anything like that. No one's going to believe in my goodness. I'm pure evil, or so they say. But I am curious… if I don't get to go back there, then where do I go from here?"

"You're staying right here, where I can keep a close eye on you."

"You can't be serious," Azula fixed a hard gaze on him, "That sounds a little too good to be true, Zuzu."

"I'm not going to let you run around on your own, if that's what you're thinking. You're going to stay in the palace and undergo proper rehabilitation _here_, where no one can touch you. I'm trying to protect you, Azula. Why can't you just see that?"

"Protect me—the most dangerous war criminal after our own father." Azula smirked. "If this is a dream, I'm ready to wake up now."

The young Fire Lord slumped into his seat. "This isn't funny! I'm being serious." He let out an exasperated sigh. Flames might as well have emerged from his mouth. "You're my _sister_."

"I heard you the first time, _brother_." Azula pretended to ponder over his words for a while, walking slowly in a circle before finally stopping before him again. "Hasn't it occurred to you that your foolish sentimentality might just get you killed?"

To her surprise, Zuko almost smiled.

"You can't kill me." There was a challenging tone to his voice, one that brought back memories of their last Agni Kai. She knew he was thinking of it too.

"Your confidence is disgusting," Azula said darkly. "Why? Is it because you have no problem redirecting lightning like our dear uncle? Or is it because the Avatar is here, and you have nothing to fear?"

He looked slightly remorseful now, "You know why."

"You're a fool!" Azula hissed, glaring angrily at her brother, "Stop underestimating me—it's not like I've lost the ability to firebend completely!" _I am _not _defined by my blue flames. I am not. _She chanted this in her head until it was all she heard, and clenched her fists so tightly her own nails sunk into her palms.

Zuko barely flinched at the ferocity in her voice. He tapped his finger lightly on his armrest. "Maybe," he said, "but you're losing it, Azula. You know it, and I know it. Maybe your firebending doesn't matter because you're still good at it, but there's more to a person than power and skill."

"Keep talking, little Zuzu," Azula said in a sing-song voice, "It's not like I'm listening, you know! You may be the Fire Lord to everyone else but to me, and to _father_, you're still a child. I may be losing it, but you're not any better! How are you going to control your nation now that it thinks you're useless? Are you going to talk to them and promise that you'll make me behave? Or are you going to punish them for giving you no respect at all?"

Zuko's eyes narrowed.

Azula clicked her tongue and lifted her eyes to the ceiling and the intricate carvings that were littered all over it. "Choose wisely, brother. It's all up to you."

"Enough."

"Perhaps," she mumbled to herself, and lowered her gaze. "So I'm staying, then?"

"Yes," he nodded curtly, "The doctors will be moved here so they can observe you on a daily basis, as usual. I'll also be assigning you a therapist."

"Not the one I almost killed, I hope. We've only met once, but I think she's had enough. I still remember the way she looked at me. It must have been quite the story."

"Lucky for her, it isn't," Zuko's eyes traveled to somewhere behind Azula, "It's Nilak."

The former princess glared from her brother to the old waterbender. "Really, now?"

"He didn't choose me," Nilak spoke up, "I volunteered."

Azula grimaced. "Predictable."

"Oh don't worry. I won't let them stick needles into you this time. Actually, I was thinking we might start doing some painting once you're well rested."

She scowled and faced her back to the waterbending master, ignoring him completely. "So that's it, then? I'm just going to spend the rest of my days in here trying to learn how to be a nice person? By _doodling_?"

Zuko's lips twitched at the corners. "If that's what you're calling it."

"This is ridiculous, even for you."

Without even blinking, the Fire Lord raised his hands slightly and clapped loudly. The double doors opened with a loud creak as two guards entered the throne room, one of them holding a pair of metal cuffs. Azula stared intently at the one who was replacing the rope with the metal accessory and watched with amusement as beads of sweat trickled down the front of his face, his eyes filled with unmistakable fear as he caught her looking.

Once he was done, he took a step back from her. She could see the relief flood his face as he did so, and shot him a smirk. "Nicely done."

"Take my sister to her room. She is not allowed to leave unless she has my permission."

"I know how to get there by myself," Azula said loudly, brushing past Aang and the rest without even looking at them. She turned back at the last moment, before walking out the door, and caught Zuko's gaze. "How is father, by the way?"

For one reason or another, the Fire Lord tamed his flames.

"Leave him behind, Azula. Like the ashes of everything we've burnt before."

* * *

Katara entered her room after a few rough knocks on the door. Azula looked up at the waterbender from behind her bangs and watched the girl set down a bowl of water at her bedside. Tentatively, the water tribe girl sat herself down on Azula's bed and seemed to fix her gaze on Azula's cuffs.

"You're not planning to drown me in here, are you?" Azula raised her head so that her bangs slid from her face.

"Hardly," Katara said, her tone glassy and detached, "Turn around and let me see your injury."

Azula contemplated going against her order, but relented in the end. She shifted so that her back was facing Katara, and felt the girl's fingers run down the length of her hair before parting it in the middle, searching for the spot where she'd hit her head. She was being unnecessarily gentle, but it was better than having her hair yanked off, so Azula remained silent.

She could only assume Katara was washing the blood from her hair when she felt water trickling down her neck and under her robes. Repressing a shudder, Azula closed her eyes and relaxed. "It would have healed by itself in due time, you know."

"You don't know a lot about injuries, then," Katara said flatly.

"If you didn't want to come, then you should have asked the old man instead. He might be an incessant talker, but at least he doesn't outwardly despise me like you."

Katara snorted. "It's not like you care if people like you or not. You don't care much at all, do you?"

"It's funny how you paint me to be someone void of human emotion," Azula sighed, letting the cooling sensation release the tension in her muscles.

"It's funny how you make it sound like it isn't true."

"You have a knack for being ignorant."

"And you have a knack for being completely, utterly cruel," Katara snapped back with finality, and their spiteful banter ended there.

The soft swish of water ceased, and Azula turned around to face the dark-skinned girl. She frowned and leaned forward slightly as a thought arose in the depths of her ever-whirring mind. "If they took him instead, I am sure you wouldn't think me cruel at all. In fact, I think you'd understand."

Katara's blue eyes shone with confusion under the soft candlelight. "What are you saying?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Azula smiled, almost wistfully, "If they hurt the Avatar the way they hurt _her_… I know you wouldn't hold back either."

The waterbender looked away. "Like I said before, I'm not like you."

"Don't pretend you're better than I am, because you're not. It's clear how you feel about the little monk. Just wait, Sugar Queen," Azula shifted herself so that she was now sitting beside Katara, and contemplated her toes, "Wait for that day and _then _we'll see if you're nothing like me."

Katara whipped out her hand and snatched the bowl off the bedside table as she stood up, her face steeled. Azula watched as the girl crossed her room in large, angry steps. She stopped in front of the closed door and paused, before turning around to face the firebender with a grimace.

"This is why I think you should be kept away from everyone. All you ever do is hurt people, you know that?"

Azula turned away, almost mechanically. "I know. It hardly needs to be said, water tribe."

"Stay away from Toph," the waterbender said, and she was out the room before Azula could think of an appropriate response.

* * *

Her 'sessions' with Nilak were to begin the next day—_thank Agni_, she remarked in her head—so she spent the rest of her day playing idle games with herself, like counting the seconds until the sky turned a shade darker. She also resorted to picking unfortunate objects in her room, like a book or her old clothes, and placed them on the wooden window pane before turning it to ash and watching the wind carry it away.

Once she ran out of disposable past belongings, Azula sauntered over to the door and opened it slightly, so that only half her face could be seen through the crack. She stared at the same guard from before, and watched him train his eyes on something else, though his unease spilled from the inside of his helmet and dripped down his face.

She smiled when he finally looked at her, enjoying the fear swimming in his brown eyes. They reminded her of Ty Lee for some reason, and she slammed the door shut when she decided she'd had enough.

The full-length mirror in the corner of her room caught her attention next. Walking up to it, Azula watched with careful eyes as the girl in the mirror approached her. She grimaced at the tired lines that ravaged her face, and brought up her bound hands to her cheek and dragged one finger down to her jawline. Her skin was rougher now, and her features were unpleasantly adorned with cuts and dried bloodstains.

She leaned in towards the girl and found dark rings keeping her eyes prisoner.

"Now you really look like a monster," she said out loud, forcing a smile, "I guess they were all right about you."

Her reflection smiled back at her, as though offering up a silent, bitter agreement.

"Don't look so disappointed, you knew this was coming from the beginning. You're completely… utterly… cruel, or so the peasant says."

She drew back from the mirror, but kept her eyes on the girl on the other side. She'd been so busy looking into the same tired eyes that she hadn't even noticed a second person in the mirror looking at her.

"You look so tired, daughter."

Immediately, the muscles in her face became rigid. She straightened herself and glared at the woman that had just invaded her privacy. "What are you doing here?"

"You needed company, so here I am."

"I don't need _your _company. I'm perfect without you."

The woman offered her a sad smile, her eyes glistening. "You don't believe that."

"Shut up. You don't know me," Azula snarled, the daggers in her golden eyes sharpening with every word, "Get out of my face."

"But what will you do when you're all alone?" Ursa's eyes grew sad as her mouth formed into a slight pout. Azula scowled; she hated it when her mother made that face. It made her feel like everything was her fault. It was sickening. It left a bad taste in her mouth.

"I will survive," Azula replied, her tone colder than winter's breath, "like I always did without you. Don't act like you care all of a sudden… I know you just feel guilty and you're trying to make yourself feel better by pretending to be a good mother."

"How can you say that?"

Azula closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Because it's true. We've talked about this so many times, I've lost count. Try to keep up, won't you?"

She was more than surprised to find Ursa still standing there, in the same spot, when she opened her eyes a moment later.

"Still here?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "You're unusually persistent today."

"What have I done to you to receive such treatment, Azula?" Ursa took a few steps forward, her hand reaching out to touch Azula. But the former princess knew better. Ursa never touched her. She would always reach out to her, but she would never touch her.

"How many years has it been?" Azula laughed, though the sound was far from joyous. It didn't sound like anything at all, in fact—it was hollow. "You've been asking me the same question over and over as though I haven't given you a proper answer."

"That's because you haven't."

"No, it's because you didn't listen. You never listen to me."

"I'm listening now."

Azula gnashed her teeth together. "But you'll come back anyway. No matter what I say. You're pathetic, and you're annoying. You're like a parasite that won't ever leave me alone. You'll never leave until the day I die, and even then… even then I feel like you'll still find your way back to me. You disgust me, you know that?"

Ursa's face fell. "I know. But I want to at least try…"

"You've tried enough!" Azula screamed at the mirror. "You had your chance, all those years ago! All you ever did was avoid the subject. You _never _told me what I wanted to hear from you but you told _him _everything he needed—_wanted! _It's enough. It was enough for me to see that you had your hands full with your precious little boy, so you had no time for the little girl who always stood by, watching you two, _wishing_—"

Her sentence ended midway, interrupted by a violent, guttural sob. Azula hung her head and let her hair fall over her face, so she wouldn't have to watch herself cry in the mirror. It was enough that she was falling apart—she didn't have to watch it happen herself.

"My poor child," Ursa whispered. "I am so sorry."

"You're not—sorry! Just _leave_!"

The tears rolled down her cheeks as the clouds let loose their turbulent nature. She slammed a fist onto the wooden surface as she moaned, hating every wretched sob that escaped her lips. She scratched the table's surface with her fingernails, letting the small splinters gather under them until they began to prick her like tiny needles. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and let them fall to onto the wood as large, wet blotches until her eyes were dry.

Her throat was still tight when she looked up, and saw her companion in the mirror with identically reddened eyes.

"Don't tell anyone," she whispered, wiping away the tears from her face. She hiccupped loudly right after, and this went on for some time as she stood facing herself. It wasn't until the sharp breathing stopped that she realized her mother had finally disappeared.

She forced a smirk onto her face, despite her current state.

Her mother always left when she began to cry.

* * *

Nightfall came upon the city like a thief, or so it seemed to Azula. She'd merely closed her eyes for a few seconds, and suddenly the orange sun was gone. The blue sky had all but disappeared, and in its place stood a never ending blackness, littered with tiny diamonds. In the middle of all that sat the moon and its silvery light lit her room up only slightly, mixing with the soft orange glow from the candles.

When she sat up, her heart shot up to her throat. The metalbender was sitting at the edge of her bed with a contemplative look on her face. Azula had a strong feeling that the girl would have taken to watching her sleep if she hadn't been blind.

Her chains clinked noisily as she pushed the covers from her lap, catching the attention of Toph completely.

The girl looked almost regretful. "Did I wake you?"

"No. What are you doing here?"

Toph pursed her lips, and then allowed a small, honest smile to grace her features. "I don't know. I just thought I'd… drop by. I couldn't sleep."

"How charming," Azula said. "Am I assuming too much if I ask whether the guards let you in willingly?"

"Yeah, you are." A roguish grin broke out across the metalbender's face. "Technically, no one's allowed to see you unless they've got permission. Sparky's orders. I'd ask him for permission, but I think he'd find it suspicious that I'd want to see you in the middle of the night."

"Very suspicious indeed… Well then, since you are an unwelcome guest, state your business quickly and leave."

Toph shook her head, but kept her grin. "Are you for real?"

Azula had to laugh at this point. "Sometimes I wonder the very same thing. However, I really don't know what you want from me here. You're going to have to tell me, or else we'll just sit here for the rest of the night being coy with each other."

"I'd like that, actually." Toph crossed her arms over her chest as her eyes gleamed challengingly.

"So do I."

There was a long pause. The silence was thick with tension, and Azula fought to keep her hands where they were.

"Damn. Denial isn't a good look on you, Fire Lily."

The former princess' expression grew dark, but there was a playfulness in her voice, a rare lightheartedness. "You'd be the last person on this earth to know what good looks on me and what does not."

The metalbender chuckled and waved her hand absently in Azula's direction. The cuffs dropped from Azula's wrists suddenly and fell heavily into her lap. "That's what I like about you. You're the only one who isn't afraid of making jokes like that."

"Is that so? Do you mean to say that I'm the only one who disregards your feelings?"

"Not really. Like I said, I like it when you do that."

A wicked grin broke out across Azula's face as she rubbed her wrists. "I am certain that that's not the only thing you like about me."

Toph snorted. "It's not like I'm crazy about you, Fire Lily."

"Oh," Azula stretched the word with a teasing lilt in her voice, "What a shame. Just the opposite is true about me."

The metalbender raised an eyebrow.

"We didn't finish our business in the forest, did we?" Azula crawled over to the younger girl and stretched herself across Toph's lap like a cat. "Is that why you broke into my room? To pick up where we left off?"

Toph's hand found hers, in the midst of the teasing. Their fingers intertwined all too easily as she bent over so she was only inches away from Azula's face. Her breath came in small, gentle puffs as she spoke.

"You tell me."

The former princess chuckled, looking up at the blind girl towering over her. "Lust is not such a foreign concept that I cannot see it in your eyes."

"I tried not to come," Toph said, drawing back suddenly. Her expression grew unnaturally serious. "But I just couldn't help it. Sugar Queen keeps reminding me that you're dangerous—and I kinda agree with her, but… I had to know."

"Know what it's like to have me?" Azula pressed Toph's hand up against her heaving chest. "Know what it's like to be with such a wild thing?"

The metalbender blushed at the intimate contact, but made no move to pull away. "I can't believe I'm doing this." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Don't be ashamed, it's perfectly normal to want something beautiful."

Toph laughed almost breathlessly. "I wish I could see you."

Azula's smile lessened. "It wouldn't make a difference. Besides, you see through different methods." Her grip tightened as she dragged Toph's hand slowly across her chest. "Like when you touch me with your hand like this. Wouldn't you agree?"

Toph cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably where she sat. "So do you really have those wings?"

"No, and before you ask, I don't have the pink horns either."

Toph's nose wrinkled. "What a shame."

"I know you don't really think so, so let's just stop wasting our time."

Azula reached up to hook Toph's collar with two fingers and tugged her downwards, straining to keep her wits about her as she finally bridged the painful distance between their mouths. Toph dived right into the kiss as Azula brought her hands up to hold her face, feeling the way the girl melted into her touch. They stayed like this for a while as Azula seized the moment to taste and memorize the sweetness on the metalbender's lips. Flowers seemed to bloom in her mind, polluting the darkness with a fragrance she couldn't quite get enough of.

Her hands pushed their way into Toph's hair as she leaned over. She was surprised to find herself meeting with daring resistance; Toph's hands rested on her shoulders and held her still. The younger girl tore away with flushed cheeks and green fire in her eyes, come to life under the silver light. They sparkled with something else as she spoke; something was surely present in Azula's own eyes.

"Why does it feel so…" she paused, and for a moment her breathing was all they heard, "Why does it feel like I'm fighting you?"

The question tickled Azula more than it should have, and the former princess laughed. "Do you really think I'm going to make it easy for you?"

Her features glowed delightfully in the radiance of the firelight. Azula smiled only slightly, and took one hand in her own. She brought it up to her face and kept it there as Toph caressed her skin in slow, soothing strokes. She shuddered as fingers snaked into her hair, and wondered through half-lidded eyes if the metalbender could generate lightning of her own.

Her eyes closed shut as she pressed her lips against Toph's again, kissing her until they were both weak in the knees. She felt the girl's eyelashes flutter against her skin as she pulled her closer, and thought of butterflies. Gradually, she trailed kisses down to Toph's neck, enjoying the way the girl's sighs sounded like the first strains of a melody. Every kiss and bite sent the girl in her arms into a quaking ecstasy, and she held her closer every single time she whimpered.

Azula eventually found herself in the position she'd craved for. Straddling Toph's hips once more, Azula let her hands travel up the girl's stomach at a teasing pace, feeling mini earthquakes rippling through the metalbender's lean body as she did so. Pressing her body down on top of hers, Azula planted her plump lips on Toph's neck and reveled in the way the girl squirmed under their contact. She couldn't help herself and bit the same spot, eliciting strangled moans heavy with desire from the girl beneath her.

She made sure to watch Toph's face as she divested her of all her clothing, and watched the lust build up in her green eyes like a growing flame. She wet her lips as she sank lower, kissing Toph with a sudden fierceness that nearly had the metalbender coming undone completely. The girl's fingers fumbled, albeit urgently, as she tore the layers of clothing away from what lay beneath, and Azula had to shudder as her bare body made contact with the chilly air.

"Patience," she hissed, her lips pressed up against Toph's ear.

The blind girl lying beneath her actually growled. Within the blink of an eye, Azula was flipped over effortlessly and she found herself in a state of vulnerability. She looked up at the girl with eyes that shimmered with wonder, and felt her heart flutter violently when she thought Toph's eyes met her own. She had to remind herself that the girl was blind.

Their bodies thawed together as they sought to meld into one body, their sighs and moans filling the silence. Azula squeezed her eyes shut as flaming suns rose in the blackness of her mind. Her fingernails sank into Toph's back and left red marks in their wake as they pieced each other together with every lingering kiss and soothing touch. Azula could hear Toph's every sigh and the slight escalation that came with every moan as clearly as she heard her own and allowed the girl enter her system like a sickness.

She welcomed the sweet, sweet ruination.

She arched her back at the last moment as she went blind with the pleasure that washed over her like a tidal wave, and heard herself begging for more until she'd finally had enough. Their voices came together like an odd song; an imperfect harmony that seemed to resonate even from the depths of her soul.

Everything about that moment was wrong, but she wished it would go on forever.

"Hey." The whisper sounded more like a scream above the blood pumping in her ears.

Her eyes flew open in response and she found herself curled up against the heated body of the metalbender, and turned on her side so that she now faced the girl. Toph's face glistened with sweat as a tiny smile played upon her lips.

"You liked it," Azula said, in a matter-of-fact tone. She absently pushed away the wet clumps of hair that clung to Toph's face, trying to ignore the wild stampede that was threatening to break out from her chest.

"It hardly needed saying, Azula."

Almost instantly, Azula snapped back like a rubber band. Her heart seemed to stop as she drew in her breath sharply in a bid to get it working again. She tried not to shiver from the way Toph said her name and forced herself to sit up. This would not do.

Toph followed suit, perhaps because she sensed the sudden tension, and drew closer to Azula. When the firebender said nothing, choosing to keep her eyes forward and her mouth a tight line, Toph leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. The gesture was so gentle, but the effect of it was akin to being struck by lightning. She shuddered, whether it was from the cool breeze that rushed into her room like an intruder or from the violent snapping of something inside her chest, and reached out for her robes.

"I'm assuming we're done, then?" Azula kept her voice calm as she dressed herself once she got to her feet.

She cast a sidelong glance at the metalbender on her bed, and watched her features contort with surprise. "Done?" she repeated, her jaw going slack.

"That's what I said. Your curiosity has been sated, yes?" Azula snatched the metal cuffs off the damp bed and sat back down beside Toph. "Put these back on me."

The cuffs snapped a little too tightly around her wrists and she scowled at the blind girl. Her metal binds tightened ever so slightly as Toph slid off the bed, clutching her clothes so tightly her knuckles became white. She dressed herself silently, glaring into blank space as Azula watched her quietly, tightlipped and pale in the face.

When Toph turned around, the light in her eyes had gone, like transient fireworks that were never meant to last. There was a dark shadow of understanding in them as she strode over to the door, her long hair swaying along with her rigid movement.

She stopped and turned around again, eyes glazing over to where she guessed Azula was. She looked like she wanted to say something, but Azula would not have it.

"Get out."

When the door closed, Azula slid off the side of her bed and walked over to the mirror. She was still sweating, and her breathing hadn't slowed yet. But it wasn't the tousled and frayed state Toph left her in that troubled her most. She leaned in and watched the twin suns glint without their usual fire; in their place stood naked terror.

* * *

_In the next chapter, Azula does a little eavesdropping and learns how to draw._


	11. Giving Way Underneath

Many thanks to **the northern one **for reminding me that I changed the title. Yeah, I thought the title change was appropriate since the original one didn't seem to be quite enough for me the more I wrote. I hope you guys don't mind.

Thanks for your continued support! You guys are really great :)

Have a great Saturday ahead, and see you next week.

* * *

**11  
**

Firebenders rose with the sun, or so Azula wanted to believe.

Her eyes flew open too quickly and a gamut of offensively bright colors spiraled before her vision. Instantly, she snapped her eyes shut and let out a groan. Pulling herself up into a sitting position, Azula reclined her back against the bedframe, trying to ignore the way her room was tilting oddly.

Harsh hissing noises caught her attention as she let her eyes wander to the edge of her bed. Anyone would have been surprised to find twin snakes in their bed, but Azula was not like most people. She matched their piercing stares with her own, as though daring them move an inch closer.

_Poor, poor Princess, _their hisses echoed in her head, _still a prisoner, after so long. You deserve better._

One of them slithered over her ankle, its sickly yellow eyes watching her. Azula tried not to shudder at the way she could feel every scale on its skin. When it was close enough, it raised itself higher, so that they were now eye to eye with each other. She wasn't quite sure why it was smiling at her. Could snakes even smile?

_Where is Toph Beifong, the metalbender? _Its tongue darted out, flicking up and down as it spoke. _We wanted to say hello. Sink a fang in, or two. Warn her about the dangers of sleeping with our Princess._

Azula narrowed her eyes. "She is not yours to poison."

The snake mirrored her action, and its eyes shrunk. _Oh, but it is she that is poisoning you. Can you not feel it? _Slithering around her neck, the snake emerged on the other side, still watching her with that stony gaze. Its tongue flicked against her earlobe, almost teasingly. _Her every touch leaves a taint. Her every kiss breaks your heart. She is hurting you, Princess. We cannot allow it._

"Hurting me," Azula parroted, her eyebrows furrowing. "I fail to see how that is possible."

_The landing, Princess Azula, the _landing_! She will not catch you. It is foolish to think otherwise. Such a betrayal can be avoided, if you keep her at arm's length.  
_

Azula lifted a hand and wrapped her fingers around its slender body. She felt a tremor, but was unsure of whether it came from the snake, or from her. Slowly, she pulled the snake from her body and dropped it carelessly back onto the bed. It reared its head at her, an unappreciative glint in its eyes.

_Do with her what you will, Princess Azula. For now. _It was a warning. But Azula knew better. They could never touch her.

It didn't mean their presence was tolerable, however.

"Leave me. And don't come back this time."

The twins' hisses were angry. Startled, even. _You would disregard the words of your advisors for the blind one? She is the one who should leave, not we!_

Azula swung her legs over the side of her bed and got to her feet. A few steps later, she stood before the mirror. She examined herself, taking care to ignore the angry creatures moving up behind her.

"I prefer 'the blind one'." Her tone was honest. The raw truth in her words shook her. "She does not lie to me." The rest of her words went unspoken. They were far too intimate for the ears of another. _Not with her eyes. Not with her body._

When she turned on her heel, the snakes were gone. In their place was something else, and its rage was almost tangible with every breath it took. Its body easily filled up half her room, while its head rested atop her bed.

The dragon watched her as she watched it.

"Princess Azula," the voice of Ozai sprung forth from its mouth, "I've heard certain things about you of late."

Words were lost to her as her jaw went slack at its voice.

* * *

Usually, her hallucinations would go away when Azula entered the company of another person.

This one was more stubborn than the others, she noted, as the door swung open before her. Familiar blue eyes greeted her as Nilak swept into the room, a key dangling off his finger. She wanted to scream, to tell him about the dragon watching them both, but the absurdity of such a proclamation would perhaps force him to keep her in her room. And she did not want to stay in here a minute longer.

She offered him a curt nod, inwardly fighting the urge to reach out and throttle him to tell him to move a little faster.

"Good morning," he beamed at her. He waved the key in the air when he caught Azula's blank expression. "I thought you might be happy with this."

"Only because I'm being forced to eat," Azula said stiffly, as the sound of clicking locks eased her. Her thoughts bounded to the many nights when another person freed her from her chains, and it distracted her from the creature for a moment. "I wonder why Zuzu insists that I join him for meals everyday. It's not like he particularly enjoys being in my presence."

As she got to her feet, the creature in the corner let out a low growl. Heat was practically rolling off its body now, though its eyes remained cool.

"Your brother never intended to keep you prisoner, despite your misgivings." Nilak gestured to the abandoned cuffs. "These are just… precautions. He wants you to go through each day normally, without feeling trapped or suffocated."

Her eyes darted to the dragon and back. "How thoughtful of Zuzu."

He nodded towards the door. "Shall we?"

Azula took a deep breath as they stepped out her room. As Nilak closed the doors behind them, she attempted to repress a shiver and wrung her hands. The dragon's eyes were the last thing she saw before she made her way down the hallway with the waterbender at her side.

She clasped her hands behind her back when she realized he was beginning to take note of her nervous actions. "Has no one considered the possibility that I might just stage a coup?" she said, in a bid to redirect his attention elsewhere, "I've done it before, you know."

"Oh, yes. The fall of Ba Sing Se," Nilak's eyes flicked away, as though in deep thought. His gaze returned within a second or so. "You're not fooling me, Azula. Conquest has all but lost its luster in your eyes. It is the last thing on your mind."

"No one knows what I really think. You fool yourself if you think you are a cut above the rest."

The man shrugged, though his eyes remained full of confidence.

They turned a corner together, and Azula nearly walked into a passing servant. The girl yelped in shock as she dropped the tea set she had been holding, the crash of china echoing off the walls. Azula scowled at the cowering servant, careful to avoid stepping on the shards as she gave the girl room to clean up.

"Forgive me, Your Highne—" the young woman stopped herself halfway with a hand to her mouth. "I mean—forgive me." She bowed her head as though in reverence, an illusion Azula expelled all too easily.

She lifted the servant's chin with a finger, and looked into her fearful brown eyes. "I am no princess."

"But—but you are the Fire Lord's sister," the girl spluttered.

Azula withdrew her hand as Nilak gripped her shoulder. It was a silent warning. "Carry on, then," Azula said airily, before resuming her stroll.

The peace of their walk was interrupted yet again as a flurry of chattering people came into view, out of a corner at the end of the hall. Azula stopped short when one of them pushed past her roughly, caught up in the cacophony of complaints, and seized the woman by the arm.

"Watch where you're going," Azula said, an edge coming into her voice. The noblewoman's eyes widened as she realized who it was that was speaking to her.

Nilak hastily stepped in and pried her hand from the woman's arm, shaking his head as he did so. Azula ignored his silent plea and kept her eyes straight, staring the whole lot of them down now.

She may not be a princess, but she would not be treated like filth.

"It's you," the woman breathed, reeling in horror as she stepped away from Azula.

A man moved up beside the fearful woman, hatred swimming in his eyes as he took a brief glance at her hands. "I didn't think the Fire Lord would be so lenient as to let you walk around without bindings." His words were brave, though he looked ready to bolt down the hallway at any moment. "Enjoy your temporary freedom, you monster. Our protests _will _get through."

Azula found that she didn't have it in her to ignore offending sights. "I'll be sure to congratulate you when the day comes."

"Fire Lord Zuko will have to give in to the demands of his people sooner or later. It's only a matter of time before you join your scumbag father in that rotten cell of his—"

Like clockwork, her hand swept out at the man's wretched face, flames trailing along its arc. The nobleman let out a howl and fell to his knees, dodging her attack by a mere fraction. His topknot was singed at the top, the sizzle of it like music to Azula's ears. Nilak slapped her hand away as she raised it for a second strike, determined not to miss, but his eyes were not on her. He glared at them with a ferocity she had never seen before, his features taut and threatening.

"You would do well not to provoke the sister of the Fire Lord," he said, the calmness of his tone concealing an undercurrent of rage. "The consequences you'll face will be much more severe, I imagine."

"And who are you?" a shorter, balding man—much like Iroh, Azula observed—piped angrily. "Don't you know who we are, water tribe parasite? The war is over, but you still have a long way before you can consider yourself an equal of ours!"

It was ironic that she felt anger rising to the surface as the man insulted Nilak.

"I am a man who knows not to look for trouble like a crazed fool," Nilak bit back, taking a step towards the nobles, who all took a united step back in response. "You have no right to insult one of royal blood—"

"And you have no right to talk back to me!" The bald one struck out at Nilak with a flaming fist. "Know your place, peasant!"

In one swift movement, Azula had the man locked by the arm. As she twisted it at the unlikeliest angle, he sank to the ground, howling in pain. The other nobles staggered back, trembling with terror.

"Guards!" he spluttered. "Guards, arrest this foul woman!"

Soldiers surrounded Azula, their spears at a threatening distance to her body. "Let him go!" one of them yelled, "Either we remove him or we remove _you_!"

"Stand down, this man needs to be taught a lesson—"

"Azula, let him go," Nilak's voice was firm.

"Please," the man on the ground whined. She grimaced at the pathetic sound.

"Dispose of him, Princess. He reeks."

The dragon seemed to have come out of nowhere and loomed above her, cackling with her father's voice. Her throat grew tight as she lifted her eyes to the floating creature.

When had it broken out of her room?

No other illusion had ever haunted her so passionately—so determinedly. Her grip slackened as she heard the shouts of the soldiers around her, and the crying of the noblewoman she had grabbed earlier on.

"What are you waiting for?" it asked, the weight of its gaze more than she could take. Frightened golden eyes glistened in the light of dragon fire. She could barely contain the softest gasp as a bead of sweat trickled down her face. The heat of the flame was the closest thing to being touched by one of them.

_S_he swallowed, hating how hard it was for her to even move an inch. _Who are you?_

The dragon narrowed its eyes as it drew back, seemingly reflecting on her unspoken question just as much as she was.

The bald, sweaty man was pried from her grip as she stumbled backwards. She found herself in the arms of Nilak. Her eyes glazed over his face, barely noticing the worry that was etched all over it. Her hand fell to his arm and gripped it tightly.

"Let me go." _It cannot touch me._

She stood by herself as Nilak obliged, and reached up to wipe the sweat that gleamed on her forehead.

"Dragon fire is impressive, is it not?" the creature leered at her. "Do you wish to have it? Then do not choose to fail me, Princess Azula. Do not choose to fail all of us."

She turned away from its gaze, and met with Nilak's.

"Are you alright?" asked the waterbender, his hand settling on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." Azula started walking again, and let out an explosive sigh. "I was just thinking about whether he'd like to eat fire or lightning before you ruined my fun."

She could hear the guards rounding up the nobility and ushering them away with loud barks despite their indignant protests. Azula knew it only worked because they were armed. Their voices echoed down the hallway behind her, accompanied by the pounding of boots, and the sounds blared in her ears long after they had faded.

As though out of leniency, the dragon stole the heaviness from the air as it disappeared down the hall.

* * *

There were still remnants of its angry whispers in her head. Even the Avatar's voice could not distract her as she had hoped it would. She let her gaze wander past all their faces, and out the window. The sky was cloudless; sunlight filled the room and gave a brightening quality to everything it touched.

She felt sure the spirits were mocking her. Why let the day be so beautiful when she cannot enjoy it?

A fist landed on the table, rattling more than just the plates of food. Sokka jumped in his seat, unwittingly spilling water all over himself, while Zuko and Katara eyed her warily. Aang fell silent, directing an uncertain but sheepish grin her way. Toph was the only one that kept eating.

Azula hated how looking at Toph calmed her and shook her at the same time.

"Are you alright, Azula?" She tore her eyes from the metalbender to look at Aang. "You don't look so good."

This seemed to stir a reaction out of the blind girl across her. Toph lifted her head, coming to attention at Aang's words. Azula turned her head, her eyes forward, half-expecting the metalbender to say something.

She did not, of course. No one knew of their entanglement.

No one knew, or they chose to ignore it.

"I'm fine," she managed, after a while. She cleared her throat, moving to throw out the first excuse she could think of. "Sleep did not come easy to me." It was believable because it was true.

She wasn't sure if she imagined the twitch of Toph's lips as she finished her sentence.

No one knew what to say. Azula dropped her gaze to her hands, resting on her lap, effectively extinguishing all chances of conversation. The creaking of opening doors made her look over her shoulder. She could barely stop herself from scowling as she met with the eyes of the woman at the door.

"Oh, what a surprise." If her words held any truth, it did not show on her face. "I didn't think you had it in you to stick around."

"People can be surprising. You would know, wouldn't you?"

The Fire Lady crossed the room and dropped herself into the seat beside Zuko. Propping her elbows up onto the table, Mai knotted her fingers together and rested her chin atop her hands. She observed Azula with little to no interest, her lips compressed into a thin line.

"Yeah," Mai finally said, as though it had been the hardest thing to say, "I guess so."

Azula catalogued the changes in her former friend. She had grown a little taller. Her cheekbones were more pronounced. Azula wasn't sure if she had become paler, or if that was the work of the sunlight. At the end of her silent assessment, Azula drew back and leaned against her backrest, giving Mai an appraising look.

"You look well," Azula forced out, drumming her fingers on the top of her armrest. The mechanical movement helped to keep her sanity in check—if there was anything left of it.

"Do I? I've been up all night doing paperwork for the Fire Lord." When Zuko made a strangled noise at the back of his throat, she sighed. "Don't look so put out, Zuko. You were tired. You've been seeing those people for days on end."

Azula couldn't resist. "I'm surprised you're still surviving, Zuzu. They're not a pleasant bunch."

Zuko finally matched her gaze with his own, though his was in question. "How would you know?"

"I was acquainted with a few of them before I got here." Her smile was plastic. "One of them told me that I was going to join Father soon. Is that true?"

The Fire Lord blanched.

"What's the answer you want to hear?" Mai sprung to her husband's defense, her eyes sharp and almost angry. Briefly, Azula remembered herself sitting by the fire on the shores of Ember Island. She remembered Mai's outburst and chortled at the recollection, not caring whether anyone thought her insane.

She'd gone past the point of no return a long time ago.

Realizing everyone was staring at her, she shrugged. "The one you have."

"Well, I have nothing yet," Mai dropped her gaze to her nails, the same way Azula always did. The only difference was that Mai really did want to check her nails, while Azula always did it to spite the people who wanted her attention. The Fire Lady looked up at Azula. "We'll need to see results."

Nilak cleared his throat just as Azula opened her mouth to speak. She looked sourly at him, but remained silent.

"I assure you, Lady Mai," Nilak leaned forward slightly, "You will have results. Good ones."

Azula scoffed, and stood up with the scrape of her chair.

"Where are you going?" Zuko asked, looking ready to stand up as well, "You're not allowed to go off on your own like that."

"Don't you worry, Zuzu," Azula spun on her heel and made her way towards the door, "I'll be good."

"Azula—"

The door slammed shut and drowned her brother out, and she walked away from the only place where she would not have to face the scheming snakes and angry dragon.

* * *

Countless steps later, Azula realized someone was tailing her. She ignored her stalker and emerged into the courtyard.

The air was light, undisturbed by dragons or snakes of any sort. Breathing came easily as she crossed the yard, the grass beneath her feet prickling her softly. A breath of wind pushed her gently, coaxing her towards the pond. There was no real reason for her to be here.

_Or maybe you just couldn't look at Mai a second longer._

The thought was her own, she noted with relief. She hitched up her robe and sank noiselessly onto the ground, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the gentle lull of the wind. Her eyes darted across the shimmering water of the pond to the turtle-ducks, and suddenly felt out of place.

This was Zuko's usual haunt, not hers.

She shook her head in disbelief. This was her home as much as his. Stretching out her legs, she dipped her toes into the cooling water. Excited squeaks burst forth as turtle-ducks glided over to her toes, ready to inspect this odd intrusion. Gentle ripples were left in their wake, and soon they gathered round her wriggling toes.

Azula watched in amusement as the tiniest one pecked at her toe.

"Not food," she chided, though her tone lacked the required sternness. She nudged the creature away gently, but it did not budge. "I imagine my brother has forgotten to feed you."

The creature peered up at her with a blank look.

"Don't worry, though," she continued, as though she knew it understood her, "He's busy now, but even Fire Lord duties won't keep him away. That's our little promise, but don't tell him I said that when he comes by to see you."

The turtle-duck squeaked, and a genuine smile spread across her face.

"At least you're not hissing things into my ear like a perverted snake." Azula leaned forward, against her raised knees. She made tiny ripples with her toes, and watched the little creatures chase each other in the water.

_We intrude because we care, Princess._

Azula felt her blood run cold, and dug her toes into the soil beneath the water. As she drew back, the snakes slithered over her lap, their hisses returning like a recurring nightmare.

"You're about as annoying as Mother," she told them, keeping her voice even and her fists tightly clenched. "Don't you know when to give up?"

The hissing grew louder, more insistent, as their yellow eyes bore into her soul.

_This will stop when you start to listen to us and your dragon-father._

"Dragon… father?" Azula reflected on these words as the snakes hissed with glee.

_Oh, yes. The will of Ozai is not so easily forgotten or left behind. He will make sure you remember._

She had the maddest urge to scream at them, but her voice failed her just as words had. She snapped her eyes shut, gnashing her teeth together as she willed them to disappear, to leave her alone.

The hissing persisted and she sank her fingers into the soil beneath her hands, trying to keep herself grounded. Trying to separate illusion from reality, and not let them mix together into a haze. Her breathing became labored as she felt the light flutter of their tongues on her skin.

_Don't run away from destiny, child. Embrace it. This is who you are._

She didn't know when their hisses began to sound like crashing waves. She didn't care, either, because when she opened her eyes again she was not in the courtyard. She was at sea, aboard an empty ship, save for its only passenger. The storm was raging above her, lightning crackling across the sky in blinding flashes accompanied by the deep timbre of thunder.

The rain hit her face like tiny needles, pricking her mercilessly as she held onto the side of the ship, barely able to get to her feet. She slid back onto the metal deck every time she tried, and eventually gave up and took to clinging to the railing.

She was completely aware that this was not real, but that knowledge did nothing to calm her nerves.

She nearly screamed when the ship broke apart at a lightning strike, and lost her grip on the slippery surface. She fell into the raging sea, its gray depths enveloping her completely as she struggled to fight the currents below. Her eyes flew open and she saw nothing but her flailing hands, clawing at nothing as she strained to get to the surface. Bubbles escaped from her mouth as she tried to call for help, but she didn't know who she was trying to call out to.

She needed to get out.

Somewhere down the line, Azula found that she no longer had it in herself to fight the sea. _Perhaps this is better, _she thought, as her eyes began to close, _if I die, I'll have it easy, won't I?_

When a hand slid around her waist and fished her out of the water, Azula felt sure that the spirits were making a point to always do the exact opposite of what she wanted. The sun greeted her as her eyelids flew open, its cheerfulness mocking her as she gasped for air.

Foolishly, she wondered when the sky turned green.

"Azula!" came an impatient growl. "Snap out of it!"

_Azula_, she repeated in her mind, _that's my name._

Her eyes slid back into focus as she heard the familiar voice above the pounding in her ears. She reached for the first thing she could touch and found herself gripping Toph's hand, not caring whether she was trembling violently or whimpering. Her fingers slid into the spaces between Toph's in jerky movements as she breathed sharply.

"Hold… still," Azula hissed, her features tight with panic. Another hand reached up to touch Toph's face. "I want to—to see your face."

Toph's eyes had never looked softer. "That's hardly fair, 'cause I can't see your face at all."

The alarm ebbed away as the thumping in her chest lulled back to normalcy. She slid her hand behind Toph's neck and let her pull her up into a sitting position.

"Why is it that… when you're around the snakes are… gone?" Azula was hardly aware of what she was saying. She just needed to speak, to function again, to see if she was properly alive and not actually being smothered by more illusions.

For the first time, she prayed that this was her reality.

A smile made its way onto Toph's face. It wasn't the roguish smile she always had or the one after she came up with a jarring remark. It was the one Azula had seen when her name left her lips that night. Azula tried not to shudder at the sight of it.

"Beats me. Maybe they know I'd crush 'em like a leaf if they came any nearer."

She tightened her grip and leaned forward to kiss Toph, straining like it's taking the last of her strength. She welcomed the respite she tasted on Toph's lips, and felt that she was sure of one last thing.

_She does not lie to me._

She closed her eyes, and found no foul reptile waiting for her.

* * *

Toph left her at the door. The guards looked at her questioningly as she spoke, brushing the hair from her face, "I gotta get a letter out to my parents. Katara's waiting for me."

Azula knew the letter could wait, but she didn't miss the undertone of Toph's words. Appearances must be maintained.

"Fine."

Azula watched Toph's retreating figure until it disappeared around the corner. A shudder overcame her as she stood rooted to the spot. The urge to follow after Toph clung to her like a weight around her neck, and she instinctively reached up to rub away the imaginary soreness. She wondered when she had begun to hate being on her own, when a nervous cough made her jump.

She directed her gaze to her watchers. One of them had his hand on the handle of the door, his eyes questioning. They never spoke to her, but spoke to each other when they thought she was asleep at night. Most nights, they talked about the city's unrest. When their self-restraint was loosened by fatigue, they spoke about the Fire Lord and their dangerous charge. Their words had not been kind.

Azula threw one last look at the end of the hall, her searching gaze crumbling with disappointment when she found it empty. As she took heavy steps forward, the stone-faced soldier pushed the door open for her. The door closed behind her before she could change her mind and wait outside for Nilak. Inside the room, her bed was not how she had left it. The bed sheet's creases had all but disappeared, smoothened by invisible hands. Azula didn't quite like the idea of having palace servants in her room when she wasn't around, and, by a force of habit, ran her hand across its softness as though to make sure there was no blade hidden underneath.

She relaxed when she found nothing.

She felt foolish for being so wary. Zuko was anything but careless, and he would pick his most trusted men and servants to surround and enter her quarters. He may not love her, but his loyalty lay with his family. This knowledge made her wonder how he felt, straining to protect a relationship that was anything but mutual.

The sound of knocking made her snap to attention. Instantly, she knew who her visitor was. Nilak was the only one who ever bothered to treat her civilly with gestures like knocking before entering. As much as she thought it was unnecessary—_I'm a prisoner, not the Princess _was the unspoken basis of that belief—Azula preferred not to come off as ungrateful and let the man indulge her with minimal objections.

She crossed her room and opened the door. The wattage of his smile blindsided her, and she stepped aside to let him in.

"Toph came by to tell me that you were back in your room." Nilak spun on his heel and faced her, his hands clasped behind his back. His eyes were raw with concern, a sight Azula had seen one too many times but was still unable to get used to. "How are you feeling?"

Azula took her time to shut the door. A long, icy shiver flowed over her body at the thought of the twin snakes. Of the dragon-father.

"Better." Azula turned back to Nilak, a smirk bravely in place. "Did I cause any trouble?"

"Not at all," he replied. "Toph assured Zuko that she would, and I quote, 'kick Fire Lily's ass if she tried anything stupid' before she went after you."

_Kick my ass, huh? _Azula laughed, though she was unsure of whether it was because she knew Toph would not succeed or because Toph thought she could. She had an inkling that it was neither, but refocused quickly when she realized she'd been thinking for too long. Nilak's stare was one of puzzlement.

"Well," she straightened herself, "She didn't have to."

"I can see that." Nilak cleared his throat and rummaged through the contents of his bag. Fishing out a nameless book, he placed it on her writing desk. He proceeded to pull out black sticks—Azula quickly recognized them as charcoal as she approached her desk—and placed it beside the book. He looked up at her, "Let's get started, shall we?"

Azula dropped into her seat while eyeing the charcoal sticks as though they were diseased.

"I cannot paint with these."

Nilak reached out and picked one up, as though to scrutinize it along with her.

"Are you unfamiliar with charcoal drawings? I would think the academy taught their ladies everything, or almost everything."

Azula let her eyes wander for a moment as she thought about school. The Royal Fire Academy had never given them the chance to indulge in the arts. In fact, the Fire Nation had never placed an importance on self-expression. The most important thing was discipline, and the great practice of firebending.

"No, they didn't. This is the Fire Nation, after all. Besides," she drew back and leaned against the soft cushion of her backrest, "who needs art when you've got bending?"

Nilak hummed in understanding, as indicated by his nod. He looked slightly worried at this point, but did not falter.

"Well, no matter. You don't really need prior experience; quality comes second."

Azula bristled irritably at his words and the insinuation in them that might not have been there at all. She looked down, away from his tired eyes, and picked one charcoal stick up for herself. She ran her thumb slowly across its coarse body as a serious question came to mind.

"Can I set fire to these once I'm finished with this…" Azula trailed off as she waved the stick in the air, "whatever this is?"

Nilak chortled, shaking his head in amusement. "It won't be anytime soon, even if I agree."

She leaned forward with a conspiratorial smile firmly in place. "Think of it as a cheap motivation for me to produce the needed results. We wouldn't want the Fire Lady to put me back in the asylum, or worse—convince Zuko to have me killed, now do we?"

His sigh was sagged with frustration. "Have it your way, then." He started into a slow pace, up and down the length of her desk. "Now, the point of this exercise is to assist with your self-expression," he eyed her with a knowing smile, "and I know you have some trouble with that."

Azula let out a snarl, his words pricking her.

"Don't look so offended. It only hurts because it's true."

"Get on with it," she snapped, and he fell back into his pacing once more.

"You will do this on your own time," Nilak went on, and turned his gaze from her, "and we will convene once a week to talk about yourself. In this way, you learn to open up. In this way, you understand yourself."

Azula let out a snort. "I understand myself enough to know that I think killing is a much simpler chore." She looked away as he gave her a sidelong glance. "Feelings make such a mess, unlike spilled guts." She hit him with a smile, the brightness of it almost unbearably eerie.

His lips twitched, his features creasing unpleasantly.

"Is that so?"

She was enjoying unnerving him way too much. There was a glint in her eyes as she replied confidently, "Oh, yes. Why let feelings get in the way of everything? They're redundant. They weigh you down." She leveled her gaze. "And if you're not careful, you'll drown. I can do without them."

"Is that so?" Nilak repeated, and ground to a halt. He paused for half a minute—Azula took to counting when the silence began to deafen her—and then: "That's going to be a problem, since your drawings must always come from the heart."

She cocked her head to one side, eyeing him.

"Couldn't I just bleed all over the pages?" Her lips twitched into a mocking smile. "_That _comes from the heart, too."

"It could work, but then again, I can't imagine Zuko would be pleased to see his sister indulge in self-mutilation."

"Oh, he would be pleased," Azula's eyes narrowed, "if I died from it."

Nilak walked up to the front of her desk, gripping its edges with both hands. His stare was suddenly intense, and Azula had to look away.

"Your eyes may not show the truth, but your words do," he said, the timbre of his voice causing her to shake, "You don't think emotions are redundant. No, you know you have them, Azula, and you _fear _them."

She slammed her palms onto the table surface and rose to her feet, matching his gaze with her own. She was barely aware of her shaking voice.

"I do not—_fear _anything! You don't know me. No one does."

"Then show me!" Nilak sharpened his gaze. "Show me who you are."

"Why should I? It's not like you're going to like me any better if I do." Azula clawed at the smooth wooden surface of her table, her fingers curling and uncurling. "I know what you're going to do with them! You're going to show them to Zuko and tell him that his sister is beyond help." Her eyes grew livid. "Beyond redemption. This will be all the proof everyone needs."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Nilak shook his head at her venomous accusation. "Everything you're showing me—everything we're talking about—is confidential. If you think me the type to engage in gossip behind your back—"

Azula burst into maniacal laughter, not caring whether it sounded like screeching nails. "Oh, it's not just you! Everyone does that. Everyone's a liar. They think I don't know, but they talk about me whenever they can. Even the guards do it."

"The lies are your own! You poison yourself under the pretense that you are protecting yourself," Nilak leaned in so abruptly that Azula had to draw back, and she was vaguely aware that her eyes were glistening with fear. "The only thing stopping you from redemption is yourself. The fault is your own."

Azula recalled words from a seemingly distant memory as she fell back into her chair.

_It only hurts because it's true._

"No," she spat, jerking suddenly from the slimy feel of snakeskin around her ankles. "No!"

_Show them, Princess. Show them your _heart. _They will see, and they will understand. _

An invisible grip pulled a hand towards the charcoal stub. Flipping open the drawing book, she dragged the little stub across the paper again. And again. And again. After what seemed like an eternity, she released the object from her grip and exhaled.

She pushed her drawing book towards the mortified waterbender. There was not a spot on the page that was unmarked by the charcoal.

"There," Azula told the paper acidly, and forced an unpleasant smile as the snakes slithered up her legs, "Exactly what you wanted from me. Now get out."

She started sobbing when the door slammed shut.

* * *

The shadows were her cover, bathing her as she slunk into their embrace. The snakes hissed encouragement in her ears with every step she took.

_Even now, your brother remains treacherous. Go see for yourself, Princess. Go._

Once the guards disappeared around the corner behind her, Azula reached out and pulled the door open until the opening was large enough for her to slip through. She had to remind herself that she was no longer the tiny form she had been, and moved carefully.

Once she'd closed the door behind her, she quickly slipped behind the maroon curtains, careful not to let her chains sway too much. By then, Zuko was already deep in conversation with the Avatar; she could see their forms huddled side by side on the ground. The only real thing that differentiated the two boys was the Fire Lord's headpiece that stood out proudly from Zuko's head—if it hadn't been there, they would have simply looked like two ordinary boys.

Aang's voice echoed clearly in the vastness of the throne room. "You know, you should get some sleep instead of sitting here. It's not helping."

"I would if I could," Zuko's voice was brittle, almost as though he was on the verge of tears. "What are you doing up, Aang? Aren't _you_ supposed to be asleep?"

The Avatar chuckled. "Guess I'm breaking my own rule, too."

"Well, sit down, then. It's going to be a long night."

Azula found the split between the two curtains and peered through a small opening. She could see their silhouettes against the dim lighting of the throne room. The Fire Lord's flames were not present; the only source of light was from the candles hanging off the walls. Zuko was sitting with his knees to his chest. Aang, on the other hand, sat with a straightened back and crossed legs. He was looking at his friend, who was staring at the ground.

_A boy and a monk, to the very last._

"Everything's a mess," Zuko bit out finally, as though it took every ounce of his strength to admit such a thing.

"At least we're not at war," Aang offered kindly, but the Fire Lord just shook his head.

"We might as well be, Aang. Do you know how many generals have left my side already? _Three_."

Azula raised an eyebrow. _Isn't that a little bit extreme?_

"And the best part is that I don't even know why," Zuko threw his hands up, "They were bastards, sure, but even I never pegged them as deserters."

"You don't know why they left?" Aang inquired. Azula could almost hear the frown in his voice. "That's weird, Zuko. Have you tried looking into it?"

"Damned if I didn't. But nothing's turned up. It's like they vanished into thin air."

"So they're covering their tracks well. That means they're up to something." Aang got to his feet, scratched his head as he began pacing slowly. "Do you think it has anything to do with Azula?"

Zuko hissed, a low angry sound. "I think it has _everything _to do with Azula. They left when they found out about her return to the palace, and never looked back. I wasn't even aware they were gone until one of the servants came and told me they'd just… packed everything up and left."

"Well, we can't do anything about them now," Aang said, pausing to look at his friend, "But what about the people? Anything weird happening?"

"You mean like if they're leaving the city?" Zuko shook his head, "Nothing out of the ordinary yet. All I'm doing is seeing them everyday, listening to them complain about how dangerous it is to let a war criminal live in the palace." He dragged a hand down his face. "They're just afraid she's going to steal the throne and bring back the war, but they're too scared to say it to my face."

Aang began pacing again, "And the rebels, what about them?"

"Still raiding my villages and spreading the word like wildfire. Sooner or later, the other nations are going to hear about this," Zuko growled, "I sent a detachment to apprehend them, but I know that won't be enough." He stopped, perhaps to catch his breath. "It's obvious they're not going to give up and go along with my soldiers nicely."

"We can only hope they succeed. But you don't know their numbers."

"They're like damned moles, hiding it out underground! I wish they'd just come directly to _me _and we can—can—"

"Talk?" supplied Aang, though his tone was less than eager. "Most of them aren't even your people, Zuko. They know you're Fire Lord, but they also know that other thing—that you're Azula's brother. They know you won't let anyone lay a finger on her, or else you would have had her executed by now."

"So what am I supposed to do? I can't just _kill _them! I can't hunt them down just because it's _my _nation they're threatening to tear apart. If I do anything to them, and the Earth King or water tribes hear about this, I'm going to stir up another war."

"Good," Aang affirmed as he nodded, "You know the risks."

"It's a delicate situation," Zuko groaned, "Everyone's still trying to pick up the pieces after the war. It's been four years, but that will never make a difference. War never really goes away—not for the victims, not for my people, not for me." He let out a snarl. "I wish Uncle were here."

"You could always ask him to come back."

"It's tempting," the Fire Lord grumbled, "But he's—argh, I can't just order him back here like it's his duty! He's retired. He needs to _stay _retired."

"But you can't do this alone, can you?"

"I have you! I—I have—"

"Your father?" Aang's tone was uncharacteristically flat.

Zuko rose to his feet. Slowly. Carefully. His voice shook as he spoke, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean, Zuko."

There was an unbearable buzzing in Azula's ears as the two figures fell silent. She gripped the thick curtain tighter, clenching her fists in apprehension until her knuckles turned white. _What does a powerless man have anything to do with this?_

"I'm not sure I do," Zuko croaked. "Why are you bringing him up all of a sudden?"

Aang gripped the young Fire Lord by the shoulder. "Because you've been seeing him recently—frequently," he said with a rare seriousness. "You can't lie to me here. You can't hide it from everyone forever."

Zuko stumbled away from Aang's hold on him. "Who told you that?"

"Mai," Aang replied, "And don't ask me how she found out." He shook his head. "She wouldn't tell me a thing, except that you've been heading to the prison every other night in secret."

"Is that why you're here? To get a confession out of me?" asked Zuko, in short, angry breaths. He bristled as Aang took a step toward him.

"Don't change the subject," Aang said, "I want to know why you're doing this."

"Because I need help!" howled Zuko, his anger bursting forth like a sudden storm, "I don't know what to do, Aang! Don't you see?" He gripped the Avatar's shoulders tightly, and shook the boy roughly. "Everything's falling _apart_. I'm supposed to be the Fire Lord, the leader of my nation, but I can't even deal with my sister without my people banging on my door every morning and more of them getting killed elsewhere!" Zuko finally let go of his friend, and turned away as he buried his face in his hands. "I had no _choice_."

Aang swept at the air before him. "You don't need him."

Zuko strode towards his throne and swept his hand, lashing out at the dais, letting flames spring forth and surround the seat. He made no move to approach it, however. He merely stared at it, rooted to the spot, as though it wasn't his to claim.

"He was ambitious, and he was cruel. But he was also the Fire Lord before me, and he knew what he was doing. _I _don't!" Zuko's stupid voice cracked at the end, and he threw a punch at his own flames.

"That's not true," Aang argued, stepping up to Zuko's side. He made a gesture at the throne before them. "The people who showed up in the plaza that day think otherwise, Zuko. You don't need Ozai. You need to trust yourself."

"And I don't!" Zuko let out a cry of frustration, his voice tight. "You're supposed to understand me!"

"And I do—"

Zuko continued rambling as though his friend hadn't spoken, "I know the responsibility scared you! If not you wouldn't have run away. I'm scared too," he jabbed his chest with his thumb, his voice beginning to escalate further, "and I _want _to run away but I can't! If I do, then my sister will die and my nation will fall. I didn't have that privilege—"

_Oh, Zuzu, _Azula thought as she resisted the urge to laugh aloud, _Wrong move._

"You think it was a _privilege_?" Aang interjected angrily, his yelling bouncing off the walls and returning to Azula ten times louder than it actually was, "How could you say that to me? To _me_, the last one of my kind! I'm the last airbender, and it's my fault that I am! If I didn't leave—if I chose to stay with them—I could have saved them! You don't know how it felt to look at the bones of your friends—"

Azula's lips twitched into a smile as she witnessed the blossoming of the Avatar's anger. She never would have suspected he was capable of such palpable rage.

"Aang—"

The boy's tattoos and eyes glowed with a blue brilliance as he ignored Zuko completely. Violent gusts of wind threatened to reveal her presence to them, and Azula grabbed onto the curtains tightly.

"_You _be thankful you have the privilege of having the choice to stay. Be thankful I'm here to tell you this!"

"Aang, calm down!" yelled Zuko, forcing his friend to stay grounded with strong hands. "I'm sorry for what I said—"

At his words, the Avatar state went dormant. The young monk sighed and hunched his back as his feet touched the ground again. He turned away to make his way down the steps. "I'm tired, Zuko. I'm going to bed."

"No, wait," Zuko held Aang back by the shoulder. "Please. I wasn't thinking."

"Yeah, you weren't."

"I shouldn't have said what I said. Forgive me."

"I'm not talking about that," Aang waved it off, looking distracted. "I know you're under a lot of stress, and you want to find an answer quickly." He turned to face Zuko now, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Zuko flinched at the contact, after witnessing his rage, but did not pull away. "But you told Azula to leave him behind. You're supposed to mean it, Zuko."

Zuko sighed, and rubbed his face. It was a long time before he said something again. "…Thank you, Aang."

He suddenly turned to Aang and bowed, and Azula shuddered at how humbling it was. _And it was just getting good, too._

"I have a thought," Aang said, after a minute was spent in companionable silence.

Zuko's silence meant consent, and Aang stepped further away from the dais, running a hand over his bald head. "Remember how everyone protested against Ozai's imprisonment?"

"How could I not?" Zuko said, cringing at the memory, "They wanted an execution, as I recall."

"They thought I was endangering everyone by sparing his life." Hands behind his back, Aang resumed his pacing. "But then we told them about energybending. We told them that I took away Ozai's firebending, the day the war ended."

"What are you saying? Do you want to take away Azula's bending, too?" If Azula didn't know any better, she might have thought Zuko sounded defensive.

"No," Aang shook his head, "It would be easy, but Azula… I don't think she's going to take it well."

_Smart choice, _Azula thought. She strained her ears as their voices softened.

"So what's your plan?"

"I want Azula to prove herself to them. What if she changed, Zuko? Just think of the possibilities. What if she stepped up and showed everyone… something else? Something different, something that will…"

"Redeem her," Zuko said quietly. His tone became indulgent now; a little kinder. "I see where you're going with this. But Aang… you have to remember who she is. It's not like it's going to happen overnight. Agni, I don't even believe it's ever going to happen. It sounds… ridiculous. No offence."

_That's right, Avatar, _Azula mused, her eyes growing bitter, _remember who I am._

Aang sighed. "Have a little more faith in her. I had faith in you."

"That wasn't faith, back then," Zuko said sternly, "You were naïve. You actually believed we could be friends!"

"And we are."

Zuko groaned. "Yeah, we are! But Azula's not me. We're different."

"How so?"

Words failed the Fire Lord as he fell silent.

Aang suddenly turned his head in Azula's direction. She thought she saw him look right at her, but she couldn't be sure. She forced herself into stillness nonetheless, despite her hammering heart.

"People can be surprising," the monk finally said, when Zuko spoke no further, parroting her words from earlier on. His eyes were the last to tear away from where she was standing as he turned to Zuko. "Wouldn't you think so?"

Aang's words rang in her ears long after their the echo of his voice faded, and she was suddenly wholly aware that the snakes had all but disappeared.


	12. When It Catches Up

Hi everyone. I've returned from the dead. Or something like that.

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the delay in update. I've had a bit of trouble in my personal life and I can safely say it floored me for a good week or so. Anyway, I'm back and I've decided to take away the rule of weekly updates. This is not because I want to have a go and see how much your patience can stretch. I feel like I should be slowing down, primarily because my new semester is starting soon and also because I think that if I take it slow, I'll be able to give you better chapters. I won't go further than a chapter every two weeks, though I am afraid to make promises I can't keep.

Anyway, here's number 12 for you, and I hope you like it.

* * *

**12**

She awoke to the sound of splashing water. Her first thought was that Katara had come in unannounced, and sat up quickly, ready to ask the witch when she thought it was appropriate to intrude on her privacy. Her next thought was that Katara would never scream like that—the sound was akin to glass breaking—and she turned her head in the direction of the shrill noise. A basin of water tumbled to the ground as a doe-eyed maidservant jerked violently, bringing her hand up to her mouth to stop her scream midway. Azula narrowed her eyes at the girl, regarding her warily.

"Who are you?" Azula asked, growing tense. The maids never entered her room when she was around. They were ordered not to, until now.

The maid's eyes darted from Azula to the basin on the ground in rapid movements, as though unsure of whether she should give an answer or clean up the mess first. With trembling hands, she dropped into a crouch and picked up the golden basin. She rose to her feet quickly, hugging the basin close to her body, but kept her eyes on the ground as she spoke.

"My name is—is Ling," she choked out, ducking her head further as she did so, "The Fire Lord told me that—that I was to be your—your personal—attendant from today."

Azula blinked, as though the girl were another hallucination. Letting people near her was already dangerous, whether it was because she might hurt them or they might use the chance to kill her. What more allowing a constant companion? Azula scrutinized Ling a little harder. This girl would have all the chances in the world to sink a blade into her back, or even poison the food she brings. Her hands balled into fists as she went through all the possible ways she could die at the hands of the maidservant.

Ling raised her head slowly, when Azula did not speak.

"Should… I come back later?" she asked, in a tiny voice. She lowered her gaze again when Azula caught her eye. "I—I don't want to upset you with my presence," Ling straightened herself, though she was still staring at the ground, "Fire Lord Zuko told me you've had enough of… all that."

Azula tilted her head sideways. "Oh? Is that what he told you?"

Ling nodded furiously, keeping her lips tightly pursed.

Azula pushed the covers away and swung her feet over the bed to stand up. Ling shied away from their proximity, taking a few steps back. She looked prepared to smash the basin in Azula's face, or maybe she was just raising it to shield herself. Either way, Azula stepped around Ling's trembling form, golden eyes scanning her from head to toe.

"Why is it you?" Azula asked, coming to a stop in front of Ling. She took the girl by the chin and lifted her face so that she could see her eyes. There was a layer of moisture in them, glistening, as though she were about to cry. "Why did my brother choose to trust you?"

"I don't know," Ling said slowly. "I didn't… didn't think to ask."

_Of course not, _Azula cogitated as she released the girl from her grip. She turned away from Ling and went to part the drapes of her window. The sunlight hit her quickly, a greeting that did not go appreciated in the slightest. Azula wondered when she grew to hate the source of her power.

"I don't need you, you know," Azula drawled, as the morning light filtered in and seemed to set fire to everything it touched, "Only the royals… men and women with titles… only they get their own maids." She spun on her heel, with her hands behind her back, and fixed a cool gaze on Ling. "I am not one of them."

"You're the Fire Lord's sister." Ling wet her lips, tucking a lock of hair behind her ears, "The Princess by blood."

A snarl left Azula's lips at the mention of her lost title. "Don't call me that ever again. I'm a war criminal. You would do well to remember that."

"I am not supposed to see you as such." She cleared her throat. "If you are the Fire Lord's prisoner… then he would not have sent me here to serve you. No one serves prisoners, like how no one serves the servant."

"Then who am I?"

Ling swallowed nervously. "The Fire Lord's sister."

"Oh, and I suppose you're going to call me that from now on," a smirk made its way onto her lips, "Fire Lord Zuko's sister."

"No! No, that would be… awkward." To Azula's surprise, Ling smiled up at her, albeit shyly. "Would 'my lady' suffice?"

"Possibly," Azula shot Ling a calculating look as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You're an odd one, Ling."

Ling's smile became fuller as she slowly settled into their exchange. "Would you like me to help you get ready for the day, my lady?"

"I don't see the point of it, it's not like I'm going anywhere," Azula rolled her eyes. She strolled over to the bedside and sat down. Tentatively, Ling planted herself beside the former princess.

"I'm sure that isn't the case," Ling bravely reached out and ran her hand down the length of Azula's hair. "You mustn't hole yourself up. The Fire Lord told me to make sure you don't. Now… if you will allow me to get you ready?"

"Ready for what, exactly?"

Ling shrugged, keeping her eyes on Azula's hair. "For the day." Ling's brown eyes twinkled as she continued stroking. "I—I like your hair. I didn't think it would be this long. You always had that topknot… like all the other Fire Nation people." Azula silently wondered where the girl was drawing her courage to speak from.

"Aren't _you _Fire Nation?"

Ling nodded. "I never liked having one myself. I prefer braids." Her face lit up, and it suddenly occurred to Azula that Ling had completely relaxed into her presence. "Would you like me to do a braid for you, my lady?"

"No," Azula shook her head, feeling absurd, "Just… no. I don't like braids." _Braids are for Ty Lee._

Ling finished with her topknot quickly. Her hands were skilled and quick. It made Azula wonder how long she had practiced.

"There," Ling said, almost dreamily, "You look beautiful."

Azula wrinkled her nose at the compliment, unsure of how to take it. To her surprise, Ling took her gently by the hands. "I think 'Fire Lily' is a befitting name for you." She smiled, the genuine warmth in it startling Azula. "Fire lilies are beautiful. Lady Beifong must really like you."

"She wouldn't know a real fire lily to a cherry blossom." Azula laughed. "She's blind."

"No," Ling shook her head, though laughing a little, her thumbs absently grazing over Azula's hands, "They say Lady Beifong is a very perceptive person. She may be blind, but she sees more than any of us can ever hope to. She knows things that you think she can't pick up. She has attributed you to something magnificent, which I am sure she is aware of."

Azula blanched, too slightly for Ling to notice. She felt ridiculous for doing so, and fought to keep her wilting composure. She would not be made a fool of by someone who wasn't even here to make it happen herself.

"You forgot to mention that you were an adoring fan of the metalbender when you came in." Azula smirked as she saw the blush rising to Ling's cheeks. "You speak about her with such… _passion_."

"Am I wrong to say so?" Ling bowed her head as though in embarrassment or apology, but Azula stopped her midway.

Tilting the girl's face up again, Azula was vaguely aware that she was voicing her thoughts. "No, I just wish you were."

Ling's features knotted themselves into confusion. "What do you mean by that, my lady?"

Azula drew back from the servant girl, narrowing her eyes. Ling mistook this look for anger, perhaps at her insolence, and a stream of apologies spilled from her mouth. She was talking with a speed that matched Ty Lee's when the girl was in high spirits. Irritated, Azula put a finger to Ling's mouth. The girl froze at her touch, her eyes widening so much Azula thought her eyeballs would roll out of their sockets.

"Just go fetch the water," Azula sighed, releasing Ling from her grip.

She waited until the girl was out of her room before slapping a hand to her face, muttering curses at herself.

* * *

She finally took to practicing her firebending when she couldn't think of anything to put on paper. The only catch was that the Avatar had to watch her, and watch her he did. He sat a few feet away from her, perched atop a rock. He did not move, but his gray eyes followed her attentively. For the briefest of moments, Azula remembered the little cat from before.

Ignoring him was easy. Getting him to go away was near impossible.

She focused back onto the task at hand, trying not to notice Ling, whose gaze faithfully followed her every movement, sitting a few feet away from her. Firebending again almost felt new to her, though her prodigal memory would never let her forget. She moved with effortless grace, flames trailing along the arcs she made with her hands. She knew every move before she executed it, but even though it meant that it was boring, it wasn't something that repelled her.

She knew everything about firebending—or at least, she was sure of everything she knew. Firebending set her at ease, now that the sting of her defeat had lessened into something like a faint itch. Firebending kept her grounded, because she knew she was in control. It would never catch her off guard. The disappearance of her blue flames was to be the first and last betrayal she would ever go through. She was sure of it.

She landed expertly on her feet as her thoughts ended where they did, just as the boy's voice sliced through the air currents and ruined her peace.

"Did you know there are still some Sun Warriors around?" Aang blurted, in a desperate attempt to make conversation. "Zuko and I found a bunch of them some time back. They taught us a few things about firebending that I think you'd be interested in, though it requires some dancing—"

"Spare me, Avatar." Azula stopped her firebending to stare at him, but only for several seconds before she resumed, going through the next kata. She launched herself into the air and delivered a forward kick, flames bursting forth, before landing deftly on her feet. "I don't need to learn anything more, especially not from you. And I am _not _dancing with _you_."

Aang seemed to take this in his stride as he persisted. "But I think it's _really _going to help you improve—"

Streams of fire shot past his face, the sound of it drowning out Ling's squeak. Aang's gray eyes widened as he dodged them with minimal effort, bending forward before the flames could touch him. He sat up again, visibly unaffected by her sudden attack. Guards rushed towards Azula but stopped short when Aang waved them off, though they kept their positions and their eyes expertly trained on Azula.

"I don't need it," Azula repeated sternly, her glare never quite leaving her face as she continued her practice, never missing a beat. This time, she swiped one foot before the guards, her flames licking the air close to their faces. The men bristled, clutching their weapons, but made no move to attack. Aang looked their way again, and this time his eyes became stern.

"You might want to move away if you don't want to get hurt. I can handle this."

One of them made a noise like _harrumph _and directed a glare at Aang. "We're stationed here. You expect us to ignore this, Avatar Aang?"

Azula smirked at them. "You wouldn't be able to stop me even if you tried."

The same man glanced at her briefly, his eyes full of warning, before turning back to Aang. His comrades watched her, but they never looked into her eyes. Aang was now trying to calm the agitated guard, whose voice was escalating and his temper rising.

"Look, you don't have to worry—"

"She is a threat to every person in this palace, _including _the Fire Lord, his wife and his every _subject_—"

"I said, I can handle this—"

"Can you really? With all due respect," the guard slammed the butt of his spear into the earth, his moustache wriggling, "didn't she_ kill_ you in Ba Sing Se during the war?"

Aang crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, she did." He turned his attention back to Azula now. "I won't let it happen again."

As the guards fell back to their original posts, grumbling to each other, a smile spread across Azula's face. "You know, I really like it when you're being serious. It makes me feel less embarrassed that a child defeated my father and saved the world."

Aang actually cracked a smile, and Azula felt her own evaporate.

"I had to get them away somehow, right?" His smile faltered slightly when she did not react in the slightest, having gone back to her katas. "Come on, Azula. What is it going to take for you to get used to all of us?"

"Nothing," she said smugly, above the flame's crackling, "Your girlfriend would perhaps agree with me—she looks like she wants to kill me every time we're in the same room, and her idiot brother avoids me like the plague. You, I will never get used to even if you sit here all day and manage to give me a thousand good reasons why I should." She paused, and straightened herself. "You really should just be content with that answer and leave me."

"Oh, but you didn't finish your answer."

"Didn't I?" Azula frowned, and the realization struck her just as Aang pointed it out.

"You left out Toph."

"See?" She turned to face him with a wide smirk. "I hardly notice her. It wouldn't do us any good if we were friends, much less acquaintances. I might just forget her… just like that." She bit her tongue as soon as she finished, and looked away, only to find Ling looking at her with a curious expression. The muscles in Azula's face twitched as she felt the intensity of the young woman's scrutiny, and turned elsewhere. Aang still had his eyes on her, too, and suddenly Azula found herself more trapped than usual.

"Really?" Aang cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes slightly as though trying to figure out an elaborate puzzle, "Because—"

"Because nothing, Avatar."

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, lighting up with understanding, before it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

"Okay." His eyes darted left. "So, uh, how 'bout that firebending lesso—"

"I don't _need _firebending lessons!" Her glare hit him with its full force as he winced.

"You seem very sure of yourself." His tone was not arrogant, nor was it condescending. He had only been stating a fact. Azula wondered how he always managed to keep his tone neutral, even in the presence of his nemesis. What she'd witnessed last night was proof that he functioned like a proper human being, but now he was as unreadable and unpredictable as ever. He was unreal.

He was everything she hated.

"That's because I am. And I have every reason to be." For good measure, Azula flung a fire dagger his way. With a simple flick of the wrist, the flames died away with a hiss, and Aang leaned forward as though afraid she wouldn't hear him.

"What if I told you that you were wrong?"

She directed an unnecessarily large blast of flame towards him in a pique of anger. Almost as though he had been expecting it, Aang leaped away from his sitting spot and landed noiselessly on his feet. The rock he had been occupying was now singed, and Azula couldn't help but look a little disappointed. The heavy footfalls of boots reached her ears before the guard reached her.

"That's for me to decide, Avatar." She offered the man behind her no resistance as he bound her back in cuffs. "You have no hold over me."

Golden eyes blazed at the guard as he backed away and turned to Aang. "I'm sorry, Avatar Aang, but the Fire Lord wouldn't like it if he knew you were being attacked and his men just stood by watching as though it were a game."

Aang looked ready to protest, but he stopped himself with a shake of his head. He nodded at the guard. "Thank you."

When the man returned to his post, Aang let out a sigh.

"You had that coming."

"I did." Azula sneered at him. "That's what you get for trying to control a monster. She'll bite back if threatened."

"You're threatened by my presence?"

_I'm threatened by everything you are. _"Oh, did I say that?" Azula turned away, "I meant to say 'provoked'."

Aang's hand rested on her shoulder. "I'm only trying to help."

"You're not doing a very good job at it."

She slid away from his grasp easily, and strolled over to the pond side, where Ling was cooing at the turtle-ducks. When Azula sat down beside her, Ling jolted back to attention. She looked at Azula with concern, but Azula merely shook her head with a grimace.

"It doesn't matter," she told Ling flatly.

Ling's eyes widened slightly. "I could—I could ask them to take it off if it hurts—"

"I said it doesn't matter!" Azula snapped. When she saw the way Ling's face crumbled, she rolled her eyes. "Look, they wouldn't take orders from a servant girl even if she said the Fire Lord ordered her to do it." She looked away when Ling looked up, a hopeful shimmer in her brown eyes. "They know what they saw."

Azula leveled her gaze on the weeds with no real interest. They swayed along with the wind, never quite missing the shifting changes in the air. She found that there was nothing pretty about them, but let the hypnotic movement distract her anyway. Anything was better than Aang's face, or Ling's pitying eyes. Both disgusted her and raised the hackles on the back of her neck.

"Out with it, Avatar," she said suddenly, startling the monk that had just settled down beside her.

"Out with what?"

The weight of a thousand lifetimes rested in his very spirit, and yet he still managed to act like a child whenever he could. Azula directed a glare at him as her fingers twitched behind her back.

"You know what I'm talking about." Azula tore her eyes away from him, unable to stomach the sight of those innocent, child-like eyes. She stretched out her toes before her and pretended to contemplate them, though her mind was elsewhere. "You knew I was there last night."

"Oh, that," Aang chuckled nervously. "I didn't think I needed to talk about that."

"And why not? I was clearly intruding on your and the Fire Lord's privacy."

"I guess… I just thought what you heard could speak for itself."

She reflected on his words while electing to remain silent for the moment. She dipped her toes into the cool water and pretended to busy herself with the act.

"You are still naïve, in my opinion."

Aang let out a short laugh as Azula stared him down, his gray eyes filled with genuine warmth. "I had a feeling you'd say that."

She did not share his amusement, but instead took to staring at her own reflection in the water. She moved her toes again, and she found her fractured likeness staring back at her. "What would you do if I just betrayed everyone tomorrow?"

If their conversation had been a stream of water, her sudden question did nothing to interrupt its flow.

"I'd go after you again, of course. It's what Zuko would want."

"What do _you _want? I'm talking about you, not my knuckle-headed brother."

There was a long pause, and then: "I'd still go after you."

Azula shook her head in disbelief. "That's one too many chances, Avatar. I would advise you against it."

"Why?" Aang blinked at her. "Uncle Iroh gave Zuko a lot of chances."

Her fingers sank into the soil beneath her hand. "I am not my brother."

"No, of course not." He left it at that, and redirected the conversation smoothly. He gestured towards the drawing book beside her, grinning. "Can I see that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there's nothing to see."

"You haven't been drawing?"

"No."

"Why not?"

She scowled at him, her patience fraying at the edges. "Because I don't know what to draw."

Aang stroked an imaginary beard as he straightened his back. "Well, if you can't think of something, then just copy something."

"That's not what I'm supposed to do," Azula replied stiffly.

"Just do it. Trust me." Aang smiled encouragingly at her. "Who knows," he shrugged and turned away from her, and began to meditate, "maybe the idea will hit you later on while you're drawing something that already exists."

He left her soon after, when she rested a determined gaze on the turtle-ducks in the pond and when her cuffs split open.

* * *

Toph Beifong could be anything in the world, but she could never be stupid. It was a fact, and it was as good as law. She was a master earthbender, and the pioneer of the metalbending skill. Nothing ever caught her off guard, and people could never succeed at lying when she was around. Toph was sure of her capabilities and made a point to remind herself and everyone else of that whenever the opportunity arose, but right now she just felt as helpless as her parents had always made her out to be and she hated the feeling. Katara was presumably standing before her, judging by the impatient tapping of a foot just a few feet away, and Toph knew she didn't have to be blind to know that Katara was glaring at her. _And here I thought I left my mother at home._

"What's up, Sugar Queen?" Toph crossed her arms over her chest defensively, "Come on. We're missing out on Sparky's meeting."

"You weren't even listening to begin with, Toph."

Toph groaned, unable to deny Katara's accusation. She hadn't listened at all since Zuko started speaking an hour ago; all she'd managed to pick up from the discussion was that one of the generals present was named Mak. After that, the conversation became a dull drone, drowned out and muffled by Toph's wandering thoughts. She shook her head, throwing her hands up in frustration, more at herself than at Katara.

"Yeah, fine, so I wasn't. But even you have to admit that it's pretty boring," Toph said, not even bothering to keep her tone low, "We've been talking about these rebels for days now!"

"And we should, because it's actually a serious problem," Katara retorted, equally as frustrated as Toph.

Unwilling to feel censured, Toph retaliated, "So why isn't anyone doing anything about it? Talking about it isn't gonna—"

"If you listened, you'd know that Zuko's already planning to take action," Katara snapped, cutting Toph off effectively. Both of them fell silent for a while, and when Katara spoke up again, her voice was lowered. "I think you have something to tell me, Toph."

Toph bit the inside of her cheek, frowning. "Like what?"

Katara scoffed. "Don't play dumb with me, Toph. You're not the only one who can tell when someone's lying."

"I've got nothing to hide," Toph said, shrugging, "You're just thinking too much."

She felt Katara circle her, and resisted the urge to make a beeline for the nearest door. Toph couldn't really see a way out of things at that point; she'd paid so many visits to Azula that even the guards might have gotten an idea of what was taking place between the Fire Lord's sister and close friend. Somewhere down the line, Toph had flung her cautiousness out the window, along with every ounce of self-restraint. She sighed, deflating, and knew that there was no one to blame but herself.

"Alright," Toph said finally, after the stillness in the air began to press in on her from all sides, "You wanna talk about Fire Lily, fine." She took a few steps forward, away from Katara, and shoved her hands in her pockets roughly. "You don't like that I'm seeing her so much."

"That, and so much more." Katara moved up beside Toph. "How long has this been going on?"

Toph shuffled her feet. "Since I found her."

"Toph!" Katara yelled, and then had the sense to lower her voice again. There was no one else near enough to hear them, but Toph knew they still had to be careful and with good reason. "You've been doing this… this thing… since _then_? What were you thinking?"

Toph growled and kicked the air. "I don't know!"

Katara made a disapproving sound, and Toph thought wildly of her father, Lao Beifong. "You probably do know, because Azula isn't someone anyone would trust or even—well, I can't believe you'd let her near you—"

"Yeah, _okay_," Toph waved Katara off angrily, "I know tangling with someone like her isn't the smartest thing to do. You don't have to tell me any of that because I know she's not—not the best person to—" She stopped short, and shook her head, unable to go on. _How do you explain something as complicated as her? You can't. _I _can't._

"You say that, but you actually like this, don't you? You like spending time with her. If not you would have stopped."

Toph lowered her head and splayed her fingers across her face, either unwilling or unable to even try and defend herself. She didn't have it in her to lie and tell Katara otherwise and elected to stay silent for the moment. It angered her to know that somewhere else in this place, Azula was thinking of something else. Azula was thinking of anything and everything but Toph and their… whatever it was. She felt Katara's hand rest on her shoulder and shrugged it away upon hearing Katara sigh softly beside her, clearly resigned.

"Have you asked Azula what she thinks of this?" asked Katara, "I mean… what do you two call this, anyway?"

Toph heard her own words as though they belonged to someone else. "Hell if I know."

She felt the sudden stop of Katara's heart that lasted for half a second, and remembered the way her own heart reacted when Azula had told her the same thing. She'd been glad Azula wasn't able to sense her heartbeat like she could, and pulled herself together before she could fall apart at the seams. Now, her entire being was being worn out, and her strength was slowly eroding the more she drowned herself in disjointed, inconclusive thoughts.

"Can I ask you something?" Katara asked suddenly, rousing Toph from her internal musings.

"Uh huh."

"Do you love her?"

_Love_. The word rung in Toph's mind, echoing for a long time before it faded. She began plucking at the insides of her pockets absently and started pacing up and down so she wouldn't lose her nerves all at once.

"What does that even mean?" Toph snorted, counting her steps mentally.

"I'm being serious, Toph—"

"Yeah, and so am I!" Toph stopped in her tracks when she realized she'd lost count. "What does it mean to be…" She shook her head, letting the rest of her question speak for itself, and began counting her steps again as her feet started moving once more.

Katara seemed to have understood immediately, for her tone was no longer scolding but sympathetic. "You mean you're not sure?"

_Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… _"Do I _look _like I've been in enough relationships to know what it feels like?" Toph didn't mean to shout, but she'd been suppressing her anger for too long. She'd turned herself into a time bomb, and the more she thought about it, the more she felt like she was actually counting the seconds until she decided to explode.

Katara's voice was strained. "But you and Sokka—"

Toph silenced Katara with an angry wave of her hand, though she would have preferred to deliver a punch to the nearest object within reach. "I _told _you not to bring Snoozles up like that, even if he isn't around!" she snapped. An awkward quietness filled the corridor, and Toph kept her mouth closed long enough for Katara to feel an ounce of regret.

After a while, Katara tried again. "Look, Toph. I couldn't explain it perfectly even if I tried. It's not a simple thing to talk about—"

"_She_ isn't simple either." _Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five. _Toph sighed."Besides, you probably know a lot more than I do since you have Twinkle Toes. You two give Sparky and Knives a run for their money, and they're _married_."

Katara cleared her throat. "I didn't decide on it immediately!"

"But you did, eventually. That counts for something." Toph pursed her lips, waiting for an answer.

It came when she reached the fortieth step.

"There's always a moment," Katara said, already beginning to lose herself in her own thoughts. Toph didn't need to be a mind reader to know what was going on in her friend's head. "I… think I realized I loved Aang the day we invaded the Fire Nation." The pause was sudden, like cannon fire, and the air was ridden with emotion. "I was scared—it was the first time we were directly assaulting the enemy, after all. I thought it could've been the end and I realized I was scared to lose him more than anything else."

_Sixty-two, sixty-three—ignore her crazy heartbeat, Beifong—_

"And when he went off to fight Ozai alone, all I could think about was whether he was okay—"

—_sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six—_

"…and then he came back, and I was sure I would've died if he'd died then."

Skidding to a halt, Toph exhaled forcibly. It was all very raw and honest, but instead of making Toph feel better, it made her feel worse because she realized how little she'd gone through with Azula. The worst had been when she was on the verge of death, with a broken arm and twisted ankle and a bleeding side, and even then, it had been easily forgotten in the morning, as though it had merely been a bad dream shared between them. Instinctively, Toph's hand fell to her side and clutched her healed wound, and she could distinctly hear Azula's screams. _What was that all about, Fire Lily?_

Toph suddenly felt an intense, searing hate for the woman she'd been sleeping with—_screwing_, she corrected herself bitterly—for the past few weeks. Azula hadn't even so much as apologized for sending her out after their first night, but then again Toph knew that hoping for any remorse on Azula's part was like waiting for Sokka to swear off meat. Toph resented Azula's steely resolve, but she admired it a little more. There was even a little envy, but Toph decided that she would rather die than tell anyone about it.

"Haven't you ever… thought about talking about this with her?" Katara's voice caused Toph's train of thought to crash abruptly. "If she even says anything to you, that is."

"She won't." Toph frowned. "She can't."

"What? That's ridiculous! What do you mean she _can't_?"

Toph shrugged the question off, suddenly feeling exposed even though they were no longer discussing her but Azula. "She's got her own damn problems," she said, before lowering her voice slightly, "Problems that are bigger than us."

Katara scoffed. "And you think you're helping by being her bed warmer? You think both of you can just sleep it away together—"

"I don't sleep with her!" Toph bit out harshly, "At least, I go back to my own bed after we're... finished." She felt absurd for sounding so embarrassed, and kicked so far out that she hit the wall she was facing.

"What? And you're just _taking _that from Azula?" Katara clapped a hand to her forehead. "This isn't _you_, Toph. You don't just let up so easily, not to me, not to anyone! What makes her so different?"

Toph gritted her teeth and repeated the words she'd said earlier. "Hell if I know."

"You need to stop this. She's making use of you—emotionally and physically and it's _sick_—"

The ground trembled as Toph stomped one foot in anger. "I know what I'm doing! You damn well know that—"

"I'm not sure I do, Toph. She's going to hurt you sooner or later and it's going to kill you. She doesn't care like you do! Don't be so _stupid_!"

The last word blared and rang painfully in Toph's ears, and she fell silent as she waited for the last of its echo to fade away. She was aware of the jumping muscle in her jaw and tightened her mouth into a line as though it would make the twitching stop. It suddenly occurred to Toph that she was unable to tell whether she was angry with Katara or with Azula. The stiffness in her body eventually died, and her shoulders drooped as she stuffed her hands in her pockets, kicking at the air again.

"Toph… hey. I—I'm sorry about what I said," said Katara, after they spent the longest five minutes of their lives together in silence. "I just don't think she's good for you. I don't think she's right for anyone. I don't think she thinks of you half as much as you think of her."

If the apology was supposed to ease Toph's growing discomfort and distress, it was taking a long time to do so.

"Whatever," Toph said. She turned away from Katara, and began to make her way down the hall. She was too frustrated, too muddled, to ponder over anything at all, and the thought that Azula wasn't facing the same struggle made her feel a little sick. _I'm going to go drown myself. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done._ She grabbed at the wall, searching for something to hold on to as she made her way further down the hall.

"Toph!" Katara was following her with quickened footsteps. "Where are you going?"

"Out. Somewhere. Stop _following_ me!" Toph picked up the pace, and broke into a run when she realized Katara was still following her. _Damn, you just don't know when to quit, do you Sugar Queen?_

She ran until she could no longer hear Katara's voice, until all she had for company was the sound of her aching heart and pounding head.

* * *

"It, ah…" Nilak squinted down at the drawing book, seemingly lost for words. "It looks—"

"Terrible, I know," Azula cut in, unable to help herself. The sight of those ugly, black blotches repulsed her and caused her shudders, and Azula wondered how the people of other nations managed to spend their lives trying to nurture artistry out of passion. She was sure such a thing could only be achieved successfully if one had an inborn talent, and also if one had no real direction in life. Art was pointless, and paled in comparison to firebending.

Nilak cleared his throat, eyeing her with a stern look. "Azula, it's only my opinion if it comes from my mouth."

Azula frowned, but said no more. _You were probably going to say the same thing, anyway._

"It's not what I expected," Nilak added, scratching his head, "I'm not sure how turtle-ducks have anything to do with your inner turmoil."

"They don't," Azula said curtly, "I just don't know what to draw, and the Avatar suggested I try something less troublesome—"

"I'm surprised you even listened to him at all." Nilak chortled, shaking his head. "Am I hoping for too much if I ask whether you're getting along with the rest of them now?"

Azula forced a smile, hoping it didn't look too pained. "It's not like we're the best of friends. And I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon, so drop it."

When Nilak did not say anything else, Azula looked up at the sky and lost herself in its vastness. She'd never appreciated such things before, but now with the war out of the way, Azula found herself with more time, more chances to do the things she hadn't bothered with before. It was also a rare moment where the snakes were not present, along with the constantly fuming dragon, and Azula found that it was an appropriate time to actually smile about something. The tightness in her muscles went away after a while, though she was aware that the days or even hours of her peace were numbered.

As though on cue, Nilak opened his mouth to speak. The sound of his voice grated at her nerves.

"I see you've got yourself a new companion," he said, leaning over to smile at Ling.

Azula looked at the old man and all but rolled her eyes. "Zuzu thought it would be nice to ensure that I'm never left alone anymore. A subtle way to kill off his own sister, wouldn't you think?"

Nilak shook his head, and directed his focus to Ling again. "What's your name, young lady?"

"Ling, sir," Ling's eyes grew wide, as though she were astonished that people even noticed her around. "Might—might I ask for yours?"

"Don't be so formal," Nilak chided her jokingly, "My name is Nilak, and I come from the Northern Water Tribe."

The thing about Ling was that her every emotion was outwardly displayed in her eyes. Azula found that she couldn't understand most of them, mostly because the girl kept to herself like an anxious worrywart, but the fascination that shone in Ling's eyes now registered properly with her. Being someone of such lowly status ensured that you wouldn't be able to see much of the world, and everything foreign was everything especially interesting.

At least, that's what Azula thought.

"Is it really as big as they say it is?" Ling asked, leaning forward herself. "And mostly made out of ice?"

"Well, that would have to depend on what you were told. But yes," Nilak smiled warmly, "it is rather large and frigid up in the north."

"I should like to visit that place someday," Ling admitted dreamily, swaying slightly as she began to lose focus again. Azula resisted the urge to sigh, as she listened to Ling's unrestrained babbling about seeing the world and the like. There was nothing interesting about the outside world, not to Azula, at least. There were more intriguing pursuits, ones that would make world travel pale in comparison to them.

Green eyes came to mind, pulled out of nothing at all, and Azula clicked her tongue. She'd gotten so good at pushing thoughts of Toph away by busying herself with firebending or extensive reading of any book she could get her hands on—the library was massive, and it served to keep her nerves calmed and mind occupied at all times—that the sudden thought of a certain earthbender hit her square in the chest.

She let her hands fall onto the soft earth, digging into the soil with frantic movements. More afraid of summoning the snakes and dragon by accident than anything else, Azula channeled her focus into the still ongoing conversation between Nilak and Ling.

"You're delightfully curious about a lot of things," Nilak said, angling his head sideways, "How old are you this year?"

"I'm turning seventeen this year, sir!" Ling replied, as though it was something to be proud of. Azula was eighteen but she didn't feel happy to have lived this far. Her life was strewn with mental problems and troublesome complications—hardly a life befitting of one destined for great things.

"Are you?" Nilak was stroking his beard now, regarding Ling with warm eyes. He laughed, more to himself than to anyone else present. "Kinaktok would have been seventeen this year, too."

Azula caught the name quickly, and made connections even faster. "Kinaktok," she repeated the name, looking at Nilak, "You speak of your son."

"You remember," Nilak said, inclining his head as though in a slight bow, "Yes, he is my son."

The three of them fell silent, though Azula suspected that Nilak did so because he was remembering his lost child. She'd seen it all in Iroh, the way a man mourned the death of a loved one and the way he remembered. It was unavoidable, especially the year Iroh returned from his siege of Ba Sing Se. He hadn't said much at all, and Azula would often find him standing inside Lu Ten's room with the same expression that Nilak had at this moment. It had been years since Lu Ten's death, and yet Azula could empathize with neither Iroh nor Nilak.

Zuko would have been kinder. _He shouldn't be so sad, though, _Azula had told her brother once, _children are just a means to an end. If he wants to get over it, he should find another woman quickly and make her give him a new son. _Predictably enough, Zuko had stormed away muttering something in disbelief, presumably to see his dear Uncle again as though he felt obliged to make up for Azula's cutting remarks—remarks that Iroh would never hear.

She felt inclined to tell Nilak the same thing, but when he suddenly looked back up at her with an emotion she did not recognize, Azula found it hard to start.

"You know, he was very much like you." Nilak stared down at his hands. "Though he was only six… he was very smart. He was sharp, like his mother, hence the name. He picks things up very easily, and by the time he turned six, his waterbending was… admirably well advanced for a child. People called him a prodigy."

Azula's hands twitched irritably in their sleeves. Something clicked in her mind at that moment, and for some reason her senses heightened. She could hear the soft sigh of the leaves, flowing with the breeze, and the soft trill of the turtle-ducks sounded more like screams. Something was pounding in her chest—_against _her chest, as though desperate for some kind of release, and Azula was suddenly overcome with the urge to run away.

She would have done just that, too, if her limbs had listened to their owner. As it were, she remained in her place. Another thought crossed her mind, as quick as lightning, and Azula stiffly turned to look at Nilak, who was looking at her with a long, searching gaze. She never really understood why he tried so hard; there was nothing to be found—and even if there was, she saw no real reason to stop hiding them away.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped, her voice sharpening with every word.

Nilak looked half-surprised, half-sheepish at her unprecedented vehemence; he swayed forwards and backwards for a moment and his eyes flicked away briefly. Then, he said, "You look like you have something to say."

_I always have something to say. _Azula shook her head. "Leave it."

"Azula, if you're going to be making progress, you need to be more vocal—"

"And I _am_. I'm not setting things on fire anymore, I'm being civil with even the Avatar and I haven't killed anyone yet—I think I can call all of that progress."

"Then tell me what's on your mind."

Azula had long given up on counting the number of times Nilak had demanded that of her, but it didn't mean that it wasn't grating her nerves all the same. She felt something expand inside her, like a hawk spreading its wings, ready to take flight. The last of her patience was expelled from a short burst of breath, and Azula straightened her back and inhaled again, as though preparing to do another one of her katas.

"I was just wondering if he was the reason why you're here."

The words spilled from her mouth as easily as fire would have. Nilak jerked back slightly, as though burned. "What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Azula reared her head at him, sneering. "I know what you're trying to do here—you're latching onto me like I'm your lifeline, and I know why. You can't handle the fact that your boy is gone, far away and out of your reach. But somehow, for some twisted reason, you see him in _me_ and you think I'm your second chance—" Azula punctuated her sentence with a hollow laugh, taking care to watch how the light was fading from Nilak's blue pools. "But this can only be your second go at raising a child if _I _let you have it—and I'm not about to. I never have, despite what you may think. You are a fool to think you could have saved us both at the same time. You are a fool to think you could keep your secrets from someone like me."

As she rose to her feet shakily, Azula couldn't help but notice the way his eyes were now burning like bright blue fire. Her heart dropped like a boulder when she saw it, and felt sure he was paying her back in kind—showing her that her blue fire was gone. Out of her reach. She took a step back as he got to his feet as well, and clasped her hands behind her back.

"You look like you have something to say," she parroted jeeringly.

Nilak's moustache rippled with what Azula decided was anger. They stood across each other for a long moment, saying nothing. Azula was beginning to feel deafened by the noise of their silence, and she brushed imaginary dust off her shoulders.

"Well, if you're not going to say anything, then I'll be on my way." She turned on her heel and began walking, and could hear Ling scurrying up behind her. She was almost at the door when she heard his voice, and it made her wish she'd run instead.

"He's not the reason I chose to stay here." There was a pause, and the heaviness in the air pressed down on Azula's chest, throat and entire body until she couldn't breathe. She looked over her shoulder, and if she hadn't seen his lips move, she might not have believed he'd said it. "You are."

She must have seen it coming—she must have known that he was going to pull that card. The sound of her heavy breathing filled her ears as she disappeared down the hallway with rapid footfalls, drowning Ling's calls out as she analyzed and reanalyzed what happened, what he just said and _why_—

She made the mistake of turning her gaze upwards when she noticed a dark shadow being cast over her.

"You think he loves you?" The dragon floated above her, baring its fangs in a grin. "Do you think he can take my place?"

Azula shook her head, and kept her eyes on the ground before her as she moved even quicker. The dragon had no trouble with keeping up, and its taunts crawled up the back of her neck and into her head. She eventually stopped around a corner, facing her back to the beast behind her as dread filled her with every panicked breath she took.

"Do you think anyone can love something like _you_, Princess?" Its breath was searing hot; it might as well have been breathing fire on her at that point.

Azula gritted her teeth and spun slowly on her heel, despite her shivering state. Reluctantly, Azula met the ugly, menacing eyes of the creature before her and steadied her gaze. She wasn't quite sure if it was fear or bravery that was rooting her to the spot. The dragon chuckled, a deep, reverberating sound, though its eyes slit into daggers.

"Such admirable defiance, Princess Azula. You are a fool to think you can just wish me away, however." It cornered her now, its gigantic, scaly body too close for comfort. "You should have run when you had the chance."

_Too little, too late._


	13. Afflictions

A/N: Well, it's certainly been a while! I hope you guys haven't thrown in the towel yet, because I certainly haven't. The new semester is proving to be a challenge and so is real life. I'd prefer it if I could just stick to living off writing fanfiction, but that's just another pipe dream of mine. Anyway, I don't know when I'll be able to update again - maybe within the next 2 to 3 weeks? - but here's 10,000 words for you to fill the silence with.

* * *

**13**

The marble flooring of the Fire Palace was cold, and so was the air around Toph as she padded down the corridor. It wasn't the only reason why Toph was wishing she had some shoes on, however. Her feet made sure she knew all that was happening—at least, all that was happening on that floor. Incessant chatter, however muffled, was not easy to ignore; Toph found herself concentrating more on the sound of her breathing than anything else as a result.

The idea of spending the rest of the night on Appa's back was proving to be one worth her consideration. Never mind that she was blind, she just needed some peace. Some time to think things through.

All thoughts of that prospect disintegrated like paper to flame once Azula's voice reached her ears, even clearer than usual because the air was unusually still that night. Toph slowed in her pace and eventually ground to a halt once she was within earshot. The smarter voice in her head told her to move along, but Toph always found thinking irrationally difficult whenever Azula was a part of the picture. The undeniable pull she felt was certainly not borne out of lust, but Toph was unwilling to admit that she suspected it was something else altogether.

Even if she had been afraid of losing Azula to the depths of her own madness once.

The familiar sound of Azula's voice roused Toph out of her conflicting thoughts. It was an odd instance of respite, but a welcomed one nonetheless. Toph wasn't entirely sure if she should be thinking that way, because what she heard next paved the way to more discomfort. Azula was speaking, but she was by herself. An imagined, cold finger trailed down the back of Toph's spine as she heard the former princess _converse _with what was obviously a hallucination.

"Your words hold no weight," Azula said, and let out a laugh, or at least a sound that was supposed to be one. One could only assume that she was laughing at her predicament, to make things less terrifying.

Toph might have believed in Azula's words and sanity had her heartbeat been adopting a calm, steady rhythm. As luck would have it, it wasn't, and Azula's pulse was quickening with every second that passed. Though her voice remained cool, Azula was barely hiding her growing instability. The former princess' heartbeats were like drum beats in the ground. Toph curled her toes slightly, though it didn't make her feel any better.

It was one thing to have Azula scream and fight imaginary things that haunted her. It was something else entirely to see her maintaining a civilized conversation with one. Azula wasn't trying to be brave. She was trying to hide her own fear.

She was trying to hide her fear from something that didn't even exist.

Azula sucked in her breath sharply and for a moment, Toph thought she'd been spotted. She grew rigid in her spot. When Azula spoke again, Toph relaxed, but only slightly.

"You're lying," Azula was accusing that something—or in this case, someone. Her voice dropped into a low hiss. "You're just some imagined creature. You can't even touch me!"

The more Toph listened, to more she wanted to walk away. Somewhere in her mind, Katara was speaking again. _I don't think she's right for anyone. _Toph shook her head and the Katara in her mind fell silent. _I'll make my own choices, Sugar Queen. You get no say in this, not one bit._

Toph refocused on Azula and contemplated making a move now. The maddened beating of Azula's heart began to sound more and more like the ticking of a clock, moving too fast for Toph to keep up with. The blind bender felt worry bloom in her chest. She couldn't shake the feeling that time was running out and felt oddly ridiculous for even agonizing about something that might not even happen.

Then again, Azula never let her feel something for more than too long.

Azula had always been a mystery, a walking contradiction that baffled and intrigued Toph at the same time. There were instances where Toph thought she might have figured something out about the firebender. More often than not, she usually left feeling more like a stranger, an outsider looking into the shambled scene that was Azula's life. Every time she thought she knew something for sure, Azula would always prove her wrong and snuff the candles. Azula would always leave Toph in the dark, in every sense of the phrase.

But she'd done enough contemplating. That was the difference between her and good old Twinkle Toes—she knew when something needed to be done.

She straightened herself and took a deep breath, deciding that now was as good a time as any and stretched out one foot—

"Don't come near me."

It took Toph a while to figure out that Azula was speaking directly to her now. A voice inside her head told her to listen, and not to provoke Azula, but Toph never settled well with taking orders. While this meant that Azula would probably grow agitated and possibly choose to run away, Toph knew she needed to at least _try_.

But try for what? Was someone like Azula even worth trying for?

Before her mind could even register the decision to back off, her body decided to mutiny against her better judgment. Toph was surprised Azula hadn't moved an inch as she bridged the gap between them. Something in the air between them demanded a closer proximity, but Toph stood her ground. She crossed her arms over her chest, wading through the mass of her own jumbled thoughts in search of the right words to say.

Fortunately, Azula beat her to it, and her voice was sharp. "What do you want? Did they tell you to look for me?"

"Relax," Toph huffed, "I overheard you talking to…" She raised her shoulders slightly, a half-hearted shrug. "Thought I might make you snap out of it."

There was an awkward pause, a first of perhaps many more to come. The silence between them was usually laden with charged energy, pulling them both together. The emptiness made Toph shuffle her feet uncomfortably. Made her want to babble like a little schoolgirl to fill that space where certainty once was.

It was almost depressing to know that all the both of them knew was how to please each other in bed.

"Snap out of it," Azula said calmly. For a moment, Toph assumed she was trying to dispel her daze, but then she realized Azula was merely repeating her words. Then, Azula added with an uncharacteristically small voice, "If only it were that easy."

"Can we talk?" Toph said quickly. "Privately."

Azula sighed. "I'm not in the mood—"

"Not that!" Toph snapped upon realizing what Azula meant, and then lowered her voice. "I meant seriously talk. Have a proper conversation with, or do you only do that with things that don't exist?"

The next pause was more awkward than the last.

Toph was almost certain that Azula would refuse and walk away. Azula never bothered herself with anything but her own interests, and once those were fulfilled, she no longer saw any purpose in keeping Toph around. It was a damning thought, but a fact nonetheless. Toph was torn between pushing her way through or backing off first, when Azula finally replied, "Fine, we'll talk."

Toph raised her head slightly and angled it sideways. "You're actually serious this time?"

"Of course." Azula was already walking down the hall. "Would I lie to you?"

Following the former princess, Toph gave another shrug. _Stupid question._

"What would you do if I said yes?"

Another pause. And then: "I'd tell you you're smart to think so."

The rest of the short walk was spent in silence. When Toph heard the creak of a door being swung open, she realized Azula had brought her to a random room. She halted and shook her head, knowing exactly where this was going to go.

"I'm not stupid, Fire Lily."

"Don't be childish," Azula said calmly. "You wanted privacy. And I'm not about to sit out in the open where guards will see us. Or worse," she seemed to pause for effect, "Zuzu or the rest of your little squad."

_It's not like they don't already know by now, _Toph wanted to say, _but maybe Sugar Queen hasn't said anything yet. Would she?_

"Coming?" Azula asked.

Toph said nothing, but entered the room anyway. She was unable to shake the feeling that she was somehow entering the belly of an unusually dormant beast. All that was left to wait for was for it to wake up.

* * *

Azula was surprised. Not because of Toph's request—which was unusual enough—but because Azula had even decided to agree in the first place. She wanted to believe it was because the dragon had left her with rattled nerves, resulting in muddled behavior, but the idea wouldn't stick. Instead, the dragon's earlier observations were coming back to tell her otherwise. _There is something you want. Something you think the metalbender can give you… freely. Willingly._When she realized she had been staring too long at Toph's silhouette by the window, Azula forcibly shook herself of the fog over her mind.

"Enjoying the view of the city?" Azula jabbed needlessly, if only to fill the silence for a while longer.

Toph's head jerked back at her words, and then the metalbender turned around as if it made a difference to them both. "Put a sock in it," Toph huffed, propping her elbows up on the windowpane behind her.

Azula looked meaningfully at Toph after picking a spot on the bed to sit on. She wasn't quite sure why she was being so pleasant. At this point, they should have been somewhere between the sheets. They shouldn't be bordering on conversation, because that wasn't how they worked together. As far as Azula could see it, they were at their best in only two scenarios: in bed or in the middle of a fight. That was all there was to them, whether individually or as a unit. Being nice was unnecessary.

Even if Azula knew she had no reason not to be.

"So," Azula started, dragging the word out, "Speak."

Toph didn't respond immediately. Instead, she took her time, chewing on her lip as she did so. Azula was seized by the urge to throttle her, if not to get her to start talking then to make her stop biting that lip. Azula forcefully dropped her gaze to her lap, fumbling with one sleeve for something to do. She was so invested in doing nothing that she didn't look up when Toph finally spoke.

It wasn't as though it was going to make any difference even if she did.

"First things first: I want to know what we're calling this."

Azula felt the muscles in her face twitch, and her eyebrows creasing into puzzled arches. "What?"

"You heard me," Toph said coolly.

"I meant to ask why. In case you've forgotten, I can easily remember everything we've said to each other because the number of conversations we've had are less than the fingers I have on one hand." Azula couldn't resist, and let out a self-depreciating chuckle. "I can hardly blame you. I'm not very likable unless I'm naked, aren't I?"

Toph snorted in what seemed to be disgust. "That's rich. You don't think you're 'very likable'?"

_I don't think I'm a lot of good things, _Azula wanted to say, but kept her musings to herself. And steered them both back on track. "Is there a particular reason why you're suddenly so desperate to give us both a status?"

"You want to know, too," Toph jabbed a finger in Azula's direction. "Else you wouldn't give me the time of day."

"I can be diplomatic when I want to be. And no, I'm afraid you're wrong. I _don't _want to know." Azula raised her head, ignoring the tightening in her chest. "It doesn't matter to me. But if you really want to give it some value… well, you can go ahead and call it whatever you like. Call us lovers, if it makes you happy."

Toph cocked her head to one side, squinting her eyes as though she was attempting to deconstruct an elaborate riddle or puzzle. Azula felt largely vulnerable for some reason, and elected to look right past Toph's face and out the window, even if all she saw was a piece of dark sky.

"I'm not asking for permission or whatever it is you think you're giving me. I want a straight answer, nothing less than that," Toph said, barely concealing her impatience. Azula could hear the real meaning in Toph's words.

_I want to know if I mean anything to you._

It was absurd, to think that Toph Beifong was actually searching for validation. She didn't need anything like that, especially when she already had people behind her, ready to catch her if she ever fell. Especially if she thought she needed it from someone like Azula.

And yet, that thought was fanning a fire inside Azula.

"You're placing too much importance on the role I play in your life," Azula said. "You don't really need an answer."

"I do if I'm going to decide whether I should keep this up with you."

It was almost as if things were always meant to be cold between them. It was ironic, seeing as how their bodies burned against each other's every time, but Azula supposed this was what separated them both from normal couples. They couldn't even be called a couple. They were just Toph and Azula, the ones who sleep together every night when they had nothing better to do. It wasn't anything new to her, of course—she'd known exactly what she was getting into the first time she let herself consciously kiss Toph.

Even so, it did not stop the beating in her chest from reducing into a dull ache.

"You want to stop this?" Azula managed to stumble out, barely aware that she was getting to her feet.

Toph raised an eyebrow, as if taken aback by Azula's reaction. As if she had been expecting Azula to let it go like dust in the wind. "Tell me why I shouldn't."

Where there was once peace came unexplainable rage. _Because you wanted it as much as I did in the beginning. Because you had a hundred chances to pull away before but you chose not to. Because this isn't allowed to end unless I'm the one stopping first._

"You can if you want to," Azula said, though she wasn't making a concerted effort to sound sincere. "I'm not going to stop you. But I want to know why."

To her surprise, Toph released a bitter chuckle. "Don't you get it?" she asked, and for the briefest of moments, Azula swore she looked slightly regretful. "It's not like I want to hate you. But you're not giving me a choice."

Azula shuddered involuntarily, though she wasn't quite sure if it was because of what Toph was saying or because of the cold wind that filtered in from the outside.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked indignantly. "You either hate me or you don't. There are no in-betweens."

"_We're _obviously an in-between, so don't give me that," Toph waved her off languidly, shaking her head as she did so. When Azula didn't respond, Toph added, "This is all a game to you, isn't it?"

Azula crossed her arms over her chest. Her throat was clogging up for some reason, but she swallowed her hesitation like a bitter medicine pill. "Well, since things are so _obvious, _as you so eloquently put it_…_" She was doing all she could to control herself, but she couldn't stop herself from sounding spiteful. The fire in her had puttered out, leaving only the ashes of her shame. Azula thought it best to pay Toph back in kind."You don't need me to tell you. You already know."

It took Azula only a split second to register the hurt on Toph's face.

"Then you should've just got to the point and left instead of wasting your time in here like it was worth talking about."

Azula looked away, and turned her back to Toph. Anger would have been a much more manageable reaction. Defeat was not. "I'm not the one who leaves."

"You should be," Toph said, "Then you might not be so afraid of being left alone when you least expect it."

Toph was out the door before Azula could move to catch her. The door slammed shut, the sound of it like angry thunder. Azula took a few aimless steps forward and found herself standing by the window, where Toph had been. She looked out the window and saw what must have been Yue looking down at her with pitying blue eyes. The shame came back to her in a bigger wave, washing over her and leaving her with no room to breathe. _Don't look at me like that. I'm not—_

"I'm not afraid," Azula said defiantly, and the moon spirit vanished after shedding a single tear.

The deep timbre of Ozai's voice responded from behind her, sending chills down her spine. "Zuko is right. Azula always lies."

* * *

Toph had been too quick for Katara. She'd disappeared before Katara could decide to chase her, stop her and—and what? Katara's shoulders sagged as she leaned against the wall with her head down. She wasn't supposed to be facing this situation with this much difficulty—indeed, she had thought it would have been relatively easy broaching the subject and steering Toph on the right path again. Unfortunately, things were no longer looking as clear-cut as they had been some time before.

Things had never been simple since Azula's departure from the asylum. Katara lowered a clenched fist and let it meet with the wall behind. How she wished she could just swoop in and tie the firebender up and toss her back into the mental facility…

_Yeah, right, Katara, _she mused, scrunching her face up and clapping a hand to it. _If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it's going to work this time?_

Taking direct action on Azula wouldn't help. And, judging by the uncomfortable conversation from moments before, Katara figured that Toph probably wouldn't react pretty well. Along with Aang and even Zuko. It would perhaps be unfair to immediately condemn Azula, since Zuko had also once been thought to be beyond redemption and goodness, but there was currently nothing about the former princess that made Katara even _want _to think twice about her stance.

Azula was dangerous. That was all there was to it, and anyone who didn't feel that way was probably a fool or an excessively forgiving person.

_Zuko is loyal to his family, even if she's tried to kill him on multiple occasions. Nilak… well, it's obvious what he thinks. _Katara let out a sharp sigh through bared teeth. _Aang treasures all life. If he spared Ozai, he'd spare Azula. Toph—I don't even know what's going on in her head, really._

There was perhaps just one person left Katara could count on. After all, they'd always had each other's backs. Surely…

"Free at last!"

Before Katara could organize the thoughts in her head, Sokka burst out of the war room with a great flourish. Katara jumped at the explosive sound of door slamming into wall and the noisy clutter of boots and armor as the guards sidestepped the danger with angry exclamations. Sokka seemed to take their reactions in his stride, and sauntered over to his sister's side with his trademark grin. "You got out of that easy, sis. What happened to Toph?"

"Toph is—"

"I'm sorry, but might I have a word with both of you?"

Katara peered over Sokka's shoulder as he turned around, and both of them came face to face with a vaguely familiar man. He looked to be about thirty, though his face looked worn with lines and he might have been younger than he looked. Katara noticed his armor matched the ones of the more recognizable men and realized he was a general, and immediately bowed. Despite having spent almost a year in the Fire Nation, Katara didn't feel quite at ease around firebenders.

War never really ended, in the worlds of most people. _Even Aang's._

Sokka squinted at the man before them. "You… look familiar."

"He's a general," Katara supplied, but not before nudging an elbow into Sokka's side. "General…" She trailed off, and blushed sheepishly.

"General Mak," the man said, offering them a warm smile. "We only just met during the meeting. I'm the Fire Lord's aide."

"Oh, that's right. You're going with us tomorrow, right?" Katara responded with a smile of equal friendliness. Mak had been the only one in the war room she genuinely liked. All the other men were older, shrewder and a thousand times more calculating than they should have been. While they kept reminding Zuko of the downside of their course of action, Mak had been the only one to propel the meeting forward with a positive outlook and kind disposition. It seemed the old generals—the ones that were left—were only interested in weeding out the source of their troubles with desperate measures rather than work their way around it with patience.

General Shinu, in particular, made no effort to hide his displeasure towards Zuko.

"With all the instability and aftereffects of a _hundred_ year war, we would do well to eradicate the problem from its roots than to prolong our troubles and suffering," he had brusquely offered to Zuko. "We have a more urgent need that needs to be addressed: the issue of rebuilding our ties with the rest of the nations. This will only hinder our efforts at true peace!"

As expected, the young Fire Lord didn't back down from his stance. This was, after all, his own sister they were trying to persuade him to execute as a peace offering to the rest of the world. As Aang shared the same view, that suggestion was shot down quickly.

The generals had not been pleased, with the exception of the youngest one that now stood before them.

That meant they might just be more than willing to throw Azula back into the asylum, but Katara tried not to let her imagination get out of hand. She tried not to associate herself with the men that once worked for Ozai—if a number of them had so easily left Zuko's service, who was to say that the rest would not soon follow?

She shook herself of the fog over her mind, and returned to the conversation with her smile still perfectly in place.

"That I am." Mak inclined his head slightly. "I look forward to working with you. It's an honor to fight alongside the heroes of the Hundred Year War."

Sokka automatically puffed out his chest at the title. "Heroes," he whispered to Katara, nudging her with a wider grin on his face.

Katara rolled her eyes. Mak noticed this little exchange and hid a laugh behind his hand.

"Excuse my brother's suffocating ego." Katara clasped her hands together. "But thank you. You're probably the only one who isn't Zuko who appreciates our presence."

Mak quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

Katara shrugged. "Well… we _did _fight the Fire Nation and go up against their Fire Lord. Most of them, if not all, were pretty loyal to Ozai until Zuko came along. Bitterness on their part isn't surprising, really."

"I have to agree." Mak scratched his head, brow creasing. Then, he straightened with a hard look in his eyes. It wasn't hostile, Katara noted. It was more like… determination. "I suppose they'll have to get used to it. Times have changed since the Fire Nation brought destruction down on the world." His golden eyes flicked away, his gaze softening. "We are a new people now, or at least, I hope we will be. Their old ideals will soon die away."

"I wish there wasn't just one of you walking around here," Sokka said. "You're a breath of fresh air compared to these—"

"Ahem."

Sokka deflated, his face turning white. General Shinu stood at the doorway of the war room, looking askance. His arms were tightly crossed over his chest, the light from the sconces hanging off the walls casting shadows on his aged face, making him look a little more terrifying than he actually was.

"Mak," Shinu said gruffly, moustache rippling, "I assume you're going to retire soon? I don't like to think of what might happen if you experience a premature defeat—"

"I assure you, that won't happen as long as I'm around," Katara stepped up, though she kept her tone neutral. This didn't seem to work well, however, and Shinu's eyes seemed to be blazing in the firelight as he trained his hard gaze on her.

"I hope so," he said slowly, and nodded curtly. He then returned his attention back to Mak, as though he was the only person present that was worthy of courtesy. "Well, I'll say goodnight."

"General." Mak bowed so that his face was hidden away by the dimness of the surroundings, and kept his head low until Shinu disappeared down the corridor, almost looking as though he had been swallowed whole by the shadows. The light was quickly fading from the sky, replaced by a darkness that touched everything but the candles still lit along the corridor.

Mak turned back to Katara and Sokka, looking rather sheepish. His previously serious demeanor had all but evaporated and if it weren't for the shadows dancing upon his face so furiously, Katara might have sworn he looked slightly sick.

"I think I'll take my leave now, too. That was an uncomfortable experience."

"I agree," Sokka said, stretching leisurely somewhere behind Katara. "That guy gives me the creeps. It's like he's staring right into your soul—"

Sokka's sentence was cut off by the sharp sound of Katara's hand meeting her forehead.

"See you in the morning," Katara said to Mak, once she'd recovered from her secondhand embarrassment.

Mak nodded, and turned so that his back now faced them. A little after taking three steps forward, Mak paused and turned slowly on his feet. "Wait a moment. I have something to ask you."

"What is it?" Katara looked up at the young general, who now had a peculiar look on his face.

Mak ran a hand over his topknot absently, as though checking whether it was still there. "I was wondering if you had any idea about the princess' progress?"

Katara raised an eyebrow. It was enough to voice her unspoken question: _Why do you care?_

Mak's mouth fell open slightly as he began to search for the words to say. "I was merely curious—if you don't know or would prefer not to say, I can respect that—"

"She's just as you remember her," Katara said simply. Not harshly, but not kindly either. "Though I know a number of people who are willing to testify against that." _And Toph is probably on the top of that list._

"I feel like she should at least make an appearance." Mak knotted his fingers together, as though bracing for something bad. "No one ever sees her but the Fire Lord, Avatar Aang and the waterbender from the North."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

Mak gave Katara a half-hearted shrug. "The Fire Lord and Fire Lady may know the princess more than we do, and are perhaps privy to things they want kept under wraps, but the truth is, everyone's waiting for something to hold on to." He lowered his hands in an attempt to stop twiddling his fingers. "I may trust Fire Lord Zuko, but the others, those that have been here since Ozai and even Azulon—I fear they will need a bit of convincing that our leader is doing the right thing."

Sokka snorted, but said nothing.

"You'd overlook everything Azula's done on account of Zuko?" Katara asked, blinking at Mak.

"I am prepared to," Mak nodded. "You must remember that I have always been on the side of the Fire Nation, since I was born. You can understand, can't you? The Water Tribes have always been known for their strong sense of community."

"Yeah, but—"

"Ozai inherited Sozin's vision, as his father before him. Princess Azula and Fire Lord Zuko had done the same, but the only difference was that one of them found another direction in which to steer his nation towards," Mak said, taking a few steps towards Katara, "Ozai called his son a traitor, but Fire Lord Zuko was never a traitor of his _nation_. He was just a traitor to his father's dream. I don't doubt for a second that Azula had ever intended to let her nation burn. She would have died for it."

Katara gnawed on her lower lip, looking right through Mak as she pondered over his words. Before she could think of a proper response, Mak waved her back to attention.

"It's getting late." He smiled ruefully her way. "I won't hold you up, Katara. But I hope you do think about what I've said."

Words were lost to Katara for a moment as she watched the general's retreating back, shrinking into the shadows. It wasn't until Sokka's hand rested firmly on her shoulder that she found the ability to speak again. She turned to her brother. "No wonder Zuko chose him."

"Yeah, I see it too." Sokka's eyes darted past Katara's face, training on something behind her. "He'd do crazy things for Zuko and for his nation. And I mean _crazy_."

"Do you think he's right, though?" Katara looked over her shoulder. "Do you think Azula should…"

"No way," Sokka shook his head and waved her off brusquely. "Things are fine just the way they are now. Azula can keep to herself and stay in that room for the rest of her life for all I care. Things are being fixed, Katara. With or without Azula. We don't need someone like her."

"I don't—I don't know about that, now." Katara turned away from Sokka.

"Katara, even if she loves the Fire Nation every bit as much as Zuko does, it won't change my mind, and it won't change the world's view on her." Sokka drew up beside Katara and swung his arm around her. "She's a war criminal, and the only thing that's standing in the way of real peace between Zuko's country and everybody else."

Katara glanced at Sokka, swaying slightly as his words hit her with their full force. "Are you saying you want her to be executed?"

"You don't give people like her chances, Katara." Sokka's eyes narrowed. "I know what happens when you slip up and let your guard down. They're going to take the first chance they get and swoop in on you through the nearest window and—"

"Sokka…"

"What?" Sokka snapped. Katara flinched and pulled away from him, but didn't miss the regret on Sokka's face as she did so. His blue eyes widened only a fraction. "Katara, I—"

"No, I understand you, Sokka. I do." Katara smoothed the fabric of her robe, fixing her eyes on an imaginary crease. "But I don't think—I don't think it's Azula you're angry at. I think you're prepared to forgive her—"

"Forgive her?" Sokka drew back, looking repulsed. "Weren't _you _the one who was going on and on about how it would have been easier to just throw her back into that nuthouse? Why are you saying these things now?"

Katara balled her hands into fists, clutching at the remains of her dwindling resolve. And dared to meet her brother's eyes. "Because I know she's not the reason you sleep with Boomerang under your pillow every night!"

Something seemed to have ruptured in the air between them, as if a rubber band holding too much together had finally snapped. Sokka spluttered for a moment, and then turned a shade of red so deep that if the wind chose to blow out the lit candles at that moment, Katara would still be able to see his colored cheeks.

"How do you—I mean—_so what?_" Sokka glared at Katara. "It just means I like having Boomerang close to me! I'm not losing this one after I lost the one Dad gave me—"

"That's just an excuse!" Katara shook her head. "I know you still have those nightmares, you're just keeping it to yourself—"

"Yeah, because we thought I'd get better if I stayed away from home for a while!"

"And you're not!"

The force of Sokka's heightened glare seemed to knock the air out of Katara. She felt her lips quiver as she shakily reached out to find Sokka's hand in the dark. "Sokka, I didn't mean—"

"I know what you meant," Sokka said sourly, drawing away from her. "It's not like it isn't true, anyway."

Katara let out an anguished sigh, but stopped short when she felt Sokka's gaze still intently on her. The light in his blue eyes had all but died away, and for the briefest of moments, Katara felt the chilling wind of the South Pole again, the howl of it sounding painfully similar to sorrowful crying—

She rubbed her face with both hands. _No, don't think about that._ "Look, it's late and we're obviously in need of lots of rest. Let's just go back and…" Katara forced her lips to stretch into a smile. "After everything blows over, we'll figure something out together, okay?"

Sokka blinked furiously for a few seconds, before shuffling up to Katara's side in stiff steps. Then, without saying anything else, Katara took Sokka by the hand and trudged down the quiet corridor, keeping her grip firm.

Always making sure he was still with her.

* * *

Nilak watched with bated breath as the last of the men streamed out the door. As the pounding of boots faded into the night that was waiting outside, Zuko rose from his seat and shut the doors. The young Fire Lord remained stationary for a moment, eyes fixated on the door handle he was gripping. The scar on his face looked more prominent with his scowl, the angry redness of it glaring at Nilak from across the room. Briefly, Nilak glanced at Aang who was sitting cross-legged beside the spot Zuko previously occupied. The young Avatar was hunched over the map, studying it with steely gray eyes.

Zuko, still standing somewhere near the door, cleared his throat. "How is she doing?"

Nilak was loath to answer Zuko, having remembered the last conversation he'd had with Azula. He tore his gaze away from Aang, who had looked up when he heard Zuko's question ring clearly in the fragile silence, and forced himself to look at the young Fire Lord.

"Not as well as I had so eagerly hoped." Nilak lowered his face. "There have been minor developments, but other than that, your sister remains the defensive young woman she has always been."

"What?" Zuko strode over to the table and stopped beside a concerned Aang. "I thought you said we were going to get results. These aren't _results_."

"I know, and I apologize for my oversight," Nilak said, forcing himself to look into Zuko's mismatched eyes. He wasn't sure how it was possible that the injured eye looked angrier than the other. "But that doesn't mean there aren't any."

The fire in Zuko's eyes didn't die off. "You were certain—"

"Zuko, he didn't mean nothing's changed," Aang interrupted gently, his voice like a soothing breeze. Gray eyes met golden as the two friends looked at each other. "You forget that Azula's a difficult person to handle."

Zuko colored slightly. "I didn't forget," he started, though his voice was considerably smaller this time. He lowered himself to his knees and seemed to be shrinking even more into his seat the more he spoke. "I was just… hoping that if she got better, things would get easier."

"That can't be all you're concerned about." Nilak leaned forward, studying the young man before him. "You're not irresponsible, Fire Lord."

Something flashed across Zuko's eyes so quickly neither Aang nor Nilak had the time to catch it. The young Fire Lord resumed his usual upright posture, though the lines on his brow did nothing to hide his obvious unease. Zuko looked down at the map spread across the expansive table, showing the archipelago that was his to rule. Markers were littered across it, indicating colonies or even villages that were suspected to be networking with the rebels. The number of markers did nothing to ease the stirring unease in Nilak's chest, and the old waterbender saw his own discomfort being reflected in Zuko's face.

A long sigh slithered its way out of Zuko. "Aren't I? Look at this," he gestured to the entire length of the map. "This is a testament that I am nowhere near bringing my people, my nation, into a new age. I thought the last four years might have changed things but… I've been making so many mistakes, and one of them was keeping my sister in lockdown. I didn't even think to try and talk to her before I made the decision. I just wanted her out of the way.

"Her captive state was enough to please the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes, and I thought that was the end of it. I thought I could finally get to work with rebuilding our ties with the other nations, and I completely forgot that Azula might not have been in the right state of mind, but she was conscious enough to know when she's had enough. I chose to leave her behind. I _chose _to. How's that for responsibility, Nilak?"

Nilak drew a long breath. _The boy really does pressurize himself too much. _"You didn't leave her out of spite, or out of a desire to be free of obligations. At sixteen, you stepped up to take your father's place as Fire Lord. I would not have expected you to have been able to handle everything all at once."

Zuko opened his mouth but it was Aang's voice that followed after Nilak's.

"He's right, you know." Aang's eyes held a worldliness that reminded Nilak of his true age. It suddenly felt wrong to think of the world's last airbender as a mere boy. "And you didn't forget her completely. If not you wouldn't have asked me to see her."

"That was because she'd nearly killed one of the staff there," Zuko waved Aang off dismissively. "If she hadn't done such a thing, and if no one had come to inform me, I wouldn't have given it a second thought." Even as Zuko looked away, a silent protest against Aang's kind words, Nilak could still make out his features and expression clearly. Regret was not hard to recognize once you've seen—and felt—enough of it. Zuko began drumming his fingers on the oak surface, the sound of it lulling Nilak into a daze, into a place beyond the reaches of the Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom, beyond the mountains and dry lands where—

—_he was surrounded. He wasn't quite sure if he was imagining the smell of smoke and ash in the air, but if he closed his eyes, Nilak felt sure he could make himself believe the firebenders were the ones surrounding him. He could only try and imagine how it might have been for _them.

_Slowly, he did just that, and waited. Waited for a fire dagger to lodge itself into the side of his neck, or a fireball to swallow him whole. He waited, and muttered a soft plea to no one in particular. He opened his eyes a while later, and found himself still standing beside the limp, unmoving bodies of his wife and son. Despite the howling wind outside the tent, Nilak could hear their voices. Some were sympathetic to his plight. Others were simply pitying: "Oh, what a shame. They were from the North, weren't they—?"_

_A hand rested on his shoulder, and a deep voice spoke to him. It belonged to one of the two men that were flanking him left and right. "You need rest, Nilak."_

"_No," Nilak said, shaking his head. "Just a little while longer, please." With trembling hands, Nilak reached over to caress his son's face. He felt the curvature of his boy's jaw, trying to remember the last time he had touched his son like this. The last time Kinaktok was laughing and smiling and very much alive. His hand shook violently, but Nilak made no move to pull it away from his son's face. _

"_You were supposed to turn seven next week, son," Nilak whispered; they were words for no one but the boy who would have looked like he was sleeping, were it not for those bloodstains and burn marks. "You weren't supposed to beat your old man to it."_

_The hand on his shoulder pulled away after a while, and Nilak heard men's voices, ushering the rest of the village to go back into their homes for the moment. The funeral would be held later, or perhaps when Nilak was ready. When the rest of the mourners were ready._

_Nilak steadily sank to his knees and bent forward to plant a kiss on his wife's forehead. Her skin was unnaturally cold for a waterbender, but he wasn't stupid. He wasn't in denial either. _She's dead, _Nilak told himself, drawing back so he could look at his wife's entire face. _Gone._ He noticed how deathly white her lips were, and how glassy her blue eyes were. She looked unreal, and everything felt oddly strange to him. Silence was blaring in his ears. His throat was hoarse from all the screaming he had done earlier._

_Everything was strange._

"_Nilak."_

_Finally, Nilak looked over his shoulder, responding to one of them for the first time since he'd arrived. The man looked to be in his thirties, eyes as blue as any native water tribesman's and a wolf tail that stood out proudly. He was familiar, but…_

"_Who are you?" Nilak heard himself ask._

"_Hakoda."_

"_Chief Hakoda?" Nilak straightened slightly, and turned so that he was fully facing the tribesman before him. "Kanna's boy."_

"_You knew my mother?"_

_Nilak nodded slowly, as though he knew he would fall apart if he made any sudden, fast movements. "Your father, actually. He told me about you and your mother. Spoke of you often, when he was in the North."_

"_Then why didn't you refer to me as his son?"_

_It was odd, now that Nilak thought about it. But then again, as he glanced over his shoulder to his sleeping—no, not sleeping, _dead_—wife and son, it wasn't that hard to explain. He looked back to Hakoda, wolf tail whipping absently with the cold wind that rushed into the tent. Nilak forced a smile, the action more painful than he had thought it would be. _

"_I know now how painful it is to bring up loved ones that aren't here anymore," Nilak answered. Hakoda considered this, before stepping fully into the tent and dropping to a crouch before him._

"_I'm so sorry," Hakoda said quietly. "I don't know what else to say but that."_

"_How many others are dead?" Nilak asked distractedly, looking up at the younger man._

"_I don't like to say," Hakoda bowed his head so that Nilak could not see his face. "One death is already too great a loss." He looked up and past Nilak for a brief moment, before returning his attention to the old man. "For what it's worth, I know how you feel."_

"_Who did you lose?" Nilak asked grimly. It was oddly comforting to finally be talking to someone who might understand, but Nilak couldn't shake the feeling that he was being rather disrespectful. Trading losses. With Kinaktok and his mother gone, Nilak knew he wouldn't have to do it ever again. _

_That knowledge was not in the least bit reassuring._

_Hakoda shifted so that he was properly seated across Nilak. He was staring at the floor as he spoke. "My wife, Kya. The raiders got her before I could stop them." _

"_She was a waterbender as well?"_

"_No, and that's what kills me." Hakoda sighed, and seemed to be blinking tears away. "She gave herself up to save our daughter, Katara."_

_Nilak looked away, suddenly finding it hard to watch the grief rise in Hakoda's eyes. He felt absurd for thinking that Hakoda was better off because he still had his daughter at the end of the day, and berated himself for even wanting to comfort the mourning chief with that fact. And then, he felt bitter. He dug his fingers into his legs, clutching tightly at the thick, blue fabric that kept him warm, though he felt as if he were not clothed at all. _

"_I wish I had been faster," Hakoda said, and stopped there._

_Nilak offered the young chief a rueful smile. "I wish I had been, too."_

"_You couldn't have—I mean—" Hakoda cleared his throat, and tried again. "You were still halfway on the journey to the South when the attack happened. You shouldn't think like that. You had no control over this, not one bit." He left the rest of his thoughts unspoken, though Nilak thought they rang true and clear: _Not like me. I was here when it happened.

"_Didn't I?" Nilak shook his head. "It would have been different if I'd come here with them. I could have been one of the men who died defending their family. I could have come out of it alive, and them along with me."_

_The two men lapsed into silence as Hakoda failed to find the right words to say. They sat still, looking anywhere but at each other. Waited for the sun to rise_

"Now you're just being stubborn." Aang crossed his arms over his chest, bestowing upon Zuko a stern scowl. The suddenness of his slightly raised voice broke Nilak out of his trance, and the waterbender looked from Aang to Zuko blearily. "Please, give yourself more credit."

"I'm being honest," Zuko bit back, eyes darting from Aang to Nilak. "If I thought I deserved more credit, then I would have seen her myself by now. In case you haven't noticed, our only conversation turned into an ugly argument, and I had her taken away and locked up—again—in her own room. In more chains."

"What's your point?" Aang asked.

Zuko propped his elbows onto the edge of the table and brought his hands to his face. "My point, Aang," Zuko started with an air of frustration, "is that my presence won't do her any good any more than yours will."

"That's not true," Aang scratched his chin, gray eyes lighting up. "I talked to her the other day and she—" he ducked his head, "—alright, she sort of tried to set me on fire, but then she calmed down, I swear! And she took my advice!" The Avatar looked to Nilak for help.

"She wanted to set you on _fire_?" Zuko's eyes grew wide with horror. "And you didn't think to tell me about this because?"

"Because it's no big deal!" Aang fired back. "It's not because she wanted to kill me—"

Zuko snorted, but Aang went on as though he hadn't noticed his reaction.

"—she just tends to lash out when she's afraid or suspicious. She's afraid of everyone here, Zuko, even if she doesn't openly admit it to anyone. She spent the last four years in an asylum with other crazy people and she hasn't seen a familiar face except mine and yours—of _course _she'd feel the need to protect herself as much as possible!"

Nilak seized the opportunity to cut in, when Zuko fell silent. "Aang is right, Your Majesty. Azula has gone through a lot of trauma, I imagine, before and after the war. You must understand that even if she expresses a reluctance to be around people, it doesn't mean she doesn't need them."

Zuko bowed his head into his hands, as though in shame. "How can she possibly need me?"

Nilak smiled, a wistful feeling creeping across his chest. "She pushes you away the hardest."

"Really," Zuko whispered, the sound of his voice no more than a rush of air. "That's hard to believe."

"Azula always lies," Aang wisely reminded Zuko. "But she doesn't lie for her own gain this time. She's lying because she thinks feelings are going to complicate things and create more problems."

"How do you know that about her?" Zuko raised his head, looking at Aang curiously.

Aang shrugged. "I don't know if that's really true for Azula," he looked away, staring at something past Zuko that wasn't really there, "but it was once true for me. I know at least one thing, though—she believes in something about herself that makes it impossible for her to accept our efforts to help her."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Zuko shook his head. "If she finds herself a failure or anything like that, then shouldn't she be latching onto the smallest bit of affection anyone gives her? Why not Nilak? Why not _you_? As far as I see it, you've already forgiven her. Why hasn't she accepted you as a friend?"

Aang let his gaze fall on Zuko for a while, before wandering elsewhere. There was a pensive look in his gray eyes as they glazed over the table absently.

"Someone once told me that people tend to allow themselves what they think they deserve." A smile tugged at the airbender's lips. "We're hardest on ourselves. No matter who we are."

His words hung in the air as all three of them fell silent. Zuko had leaned over the table, seemingly staring down at the map, but Nilak could see the Avatar's words settling in with him. Something had shifted in the air. The world, it seemed, had shifted as well.

And suddenly, it wasn't hard to see Aang as a hundred and sixteen.

"You're right, Aang." Zuko straightened himself and dusted the front of his robes, as if brushing something unpleasant off him. "I know I haven't been playing an active role in this whole thing, but I think I'm ready now. It might not be easy for me, and I might have to pull Mai or Ty Lee into the picture, but if I want the world to accept my sister again—"

Aang raised a hand to silence Zuko. "Quiet. Wait a minute."

Zuko blinked. "Aang, what's—"

"Intruders," Aang said in a low whisper. He sprung to his feet with a rush of wind, and leapt over to the wall and felt it with one hand. "Scaling the walls. Heading up, towards us."

Zuko's eyes darted towards the window nearest to them. "How do they know where we are? This meeting wasn't supposed to be—"

"No, it wasn't. Maybe not, I don't know. But it might not be you." There was a pause as Aang gnawed on his lip, still feeling the wall carefully. "Not you." Aang shook his head, his gray eyes turning stormy. "Someone else."

"Azula—?"

Nilak got to his feet, panic coursing through his veins. He was already bounding for the door when Zuko stood up with a dramatic flurry of his silken robes. They were out of the war room within the blink of an eye, and upon seeing their Fire Lord in such a hurry, the two guards at the door tore after them.

"Your Majesty!"

"No time to explain, just stay on me!" Zuko yelled over his shoulder. "Aang, can you—"

"Way ahead of you," the Avatar nodded, and sped away down the corridor with a speed that could only belong to an airbender.

Nilak kept the pace with Zuko and the soldiers that flanked them on both sides, ignoring the way his old legs were protesting in pain. The echo of heavy, hurried footfalls followed after them like claps of thunder, signaling the storm that was approaching.

* * *

When the explosion on the upper level rocked the entire tower, Azula could only wonder what kind of men were foolish enough to make an entrance as grand as that. She was only remotely grateful she was not in her bedroom or anywhere near it; she was no fool—these intruders, whoever they were, were either after her or Zuko. Slowly, Azula rose to her feet and padded over to the dressing table and sat before the mirror, examining herself.

Behind her, the dragon was snaking about slowly, on the carpeted floor, over the bed and reared its head over her shoulder.

"This is your doing," it accused in a measured tone. "Parasites fill the hallways of Sozin's home. Marring it with their _filth_. You let this happen."

Azula leaned towards her reflection, smoothing her hair with trembling fingers. Kept her eyes on herself, and not the thing behind her. Cold fear gripped her, bit by bit, as the dragon drew closer, breathing down her neck in long, searing puffs.

"I didn't," she managed to choke out, sparing the dragon a cursory glance. "I could do nothing."

"And so you walk the earth, leaving destruction and chaos in your wake. You walk knowing this, and you continue to do so because the lure of oblivion is too much to resist."

"_No_," Azula hissed, spreading her palms across the tabletop. Searching for something to hold on to, so she wouldn't keep slipping. "That's not why I'm…"

"You believe there is an answer to the darkness you bring with you," the dragon growled, eyes glistening with malice. "You're selfish enough to leave everything in ruin so you do not fall further. She occupies your thoughts, always. She has poisoned your mind and your heart and you want more—

Azula dipped her head and let her hair fall all over her face. "It has—has nothing to do with her!"

"You'd let the world burn if it meant you could have her, truly and completely," the creature continued, as though Azula hadn't spoken, "What a pathetic little dream. Have you not learnt about the consequences of indulging such idle fancies from your royal mother—"

"Stop!" Azula screamed, turning wildly to the dragon. An empty vase crashed to the ground in a moment of carelessness. Her voice was significantly weaker when she repeated herself. "Stop."

Sharp, white fangs turned a sickly shade of yellow in the firelight as its large jaws opened, emitting a low growl. One thick with warning. "If you were as smart as you used to be, or even half the daughter you were, you would have cut your own throat when you had the chance."

"Maybe," she nodded slowly, grasping for words. She took slow steps to the side so she could step over its body. But when the dragon moved to block her way, Azula took an automatic step back. Her hands were raised, ready to strike, though she knew it would be futile. The dragon smiled approvingly at her stance, though its voice was venomous.

"_I_am not the enemy here. I wouldn't hurt you. I'm just reminding you of the path you were born to take, the one your brother foolishly abandoned for naught." Then, something hardened in its gaze. "Don't renounce the greatness your blood has given you for a girl who cannot and will not see you for what you truly are."

Azula felt a shiver descend on her. "I don't—I don't need—"

"Mean what you say, Princess. I _know _you."

She wasn't sure if it was the thickness of its voice or its piercing stare that made her wonder if that were true. She lowered her hands and let her lips draw into a disdainful sneer, hate bubbling violently within her depths.

She was unsure of who—or what—it was for. At her silence, the beast went on.

"I know you because you created me," it explained, its blue scales rippling with raw energy as it slithered aimlessly around the room. "The day your father fell was the day I came into existence. I am the extension of his will, by your permission. I come from _you_. And you know this, because you have carried me with you since then."

"I've never seen you—not in my life." Azula frowned. _Not like Mother. Mother has always been around. Haunting me… talking to me._

"You didn't need to. Until now."

"What does that—"

Shouts could be heard, muffled by the closed door and distance. Azula's eyes flicked over to the door briefly, knowing that time was running out. Then, she returned her gaze to the dragon and tried again. "What does that mean?"

The dragon snorted, and streams of flame emerged from its nostrils. Azula blinked and looked up at it, wide-eyed. Had it just been her imagination, or did that fire look… multi-colored?

"You'll come back to me, eventually. Azula, Princess of Fire. Azula, Ozai's true heir."

Azula forced her eyes shut and suppressed a shudder at her titles. Eternity seemed to pass her by until the door burst open. Until Toph's voice rang sharp and clear in the air.

"Oh, good. You're still here."

Perturbed, Azula opened her eyes and found the dragon gone. In its place stood Toph, who looked paler than she usually did. Azula watched her spin around to shut the door behind her. After the telltale _click _of the lock, Toph strode over to Azula purposefully and grabbed her roughly by the wrist, like she had done earlier. Ridiculously enough, all Azula could think of was that Toph had finally snapped, and now she was going to beat her into a pulp.

The thought of dying at the hands of Toph Beifong rather than the world was easier to want than hate. Azula's lips twitched into a small smile as she tried to imagine what Toph would say if she chose to voice that thought right there and then.

The words never came, and Toph was wasting no time to wait.

"Do you trust me?" Toph asked briskly, pulling the curtains apart and exposing the window and the view of the city beyond it.

Azula narrowed her eyes at the odd question. "This is the hardly the time to be romantic. What's going on?"

"They're either coming for you or Sparky. What do you _think _is going on? Now, I'll ask you again," Toph growled, pulling Azula towards her and pressing her up against the open window, "do you _trust _me?"

The wind was furious that night for some reason, and Azula could barely see Toph's face as her hair obscured her view. She was more preoccupied with trying to guess what Toph was attempting to do, and her stomach dropped when she took a look over her shoulder. Then, upon seeing the caldera city below, realization struck Azula out of nowhere, and dread enveloped her. _You've got to be kidding—_

"You know what?" At this point, I don't even care anymore." Toph sighed, almost hopelessly, as she placed two fingers to Azula's forehead and, with unexpected strength, effortlessly pushed the firebender over the window's edge.

Azula thought she saw the familiar glint of the bison whistle before her room and the metalbender inside it disappeared from view.


	14. Shifting Winds

A/N: Finally, some Tophzula action! With slight developments. Slight. I don't know, you be the judge.

Things are heating up, in every sense of the phrase. ;)

* * *

**14**

She was falling into a black hole. At least, that's what it looked like. As the window shrunk away, Azula almost forgot that she was about to drop to her death. It was difficult to get over the shock that Toph Beifong just _pushed her out of a window. _It was probably the closest thing to a successful assassination, and it had come from the person Azula was near defenseless around.

Almost.

Survival instinct kicked in a split second later. Azula forced herself to curl, bringing her knees close to her chest and made sure that her feet would be able to absorb the impact of the landing. A part of her knew that there was no chance of surviving a fall of this height; while she had been nowhere near her bedroom on the higher floors of the tower, it was still quite a ways up from ground level. The wall was slanting away from her at a rapid pace, leaving her with no chance to propel towards the adjacent tower by firebending.

_I'm going to kill her, _Azula thought. _If I'm not dead already._

The air shook all around her as what sounded like thunder rumbled deeply beneath her. Before Azula could even identify the source of it, her fall was broken abruptly as she crashed onto a leathery surface. Pain shot up her legs as she fell over on her side and a groan escaped her lips. The sky bison grumbled again and came to a halt in the air, a single eye fixed on Azula who was struggling to sit upright.

"I suppose I should be thanking you," Azula said wearily, glancing at Appa.

Appa growled something in response and Azula knew immediately that this was closest that she would ever come to love with the bison. Minutes passed and Azula was beginning to wonder why the sky bison was still in the same spot, as though it was waiting for something, and the former princess began to grow restless. She glanced up and saw a section of the tower had been blown apart, and smoke ascended rapidly in a dark plume into the sky. There was barely a breeze, and Azula could hear the faintest indications of a struggle somewhere inside.

Back beginning to ache, Azula slowly moved so she could shift herself into a more comfortable position. She'd barely begun when suddenly Toph dropped out of the darkness and landed in the middle of the saddle with a loud _thud_. Several of the metalbender's choicest swear words were utilized as she rolled over, and she'd managed to cry out, "Appa, yip yip!" before lying flat on her back.

The sky bison tore off into the night, and shouts of anguish echoed across the distance as they ascended into the night sky.

"Idiot," Azula remarked coolly, stretching her legs out as the pain ebbed away. "You couldn't have waited until the bison was close enough before _hurling_ me out the window?"

Toph chuckled and turned on her side. "If we had time, Fire Lily, I would've waited too. Don't appreciate jumping out a window anymore than I appreciate flying."

As though understanding her words, Appa growled indignantly.

"Don't be such a girl, Appa." Toph patted the saddle absently as though Appa could feel it. "You don't fly as dangerously as Twinkle Toes."

At this, the bison let out a snort and returned its attention to the skies. Azula leaned over the side of the saddle, watching the crater city shrink away until it was nothing more than a tiny, gold speck in the distance. She drew away from the edge after a while, and sidled up to Toph, finding her curled up in an odd position. The metalbender's face was, by then, scrunched up in extreme discomfort, and Azula guessed that the girl was still hurting from the fall. _How bad is it?_ Gingerly, she nudged Toph on the arm.

"Sit up," she commanded, with all the authority of a princess.

Toph wrinkled her nose and her cheeks seemed to color slightly. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Now stop being a child," Azula couldn't resist the urge to lean over the girl, her hair spilling over her shoulders, "and do as I say."

Muttering under her breath, Toph obeyed and sat up with a pained sigh. Azula placed a hand on Toph's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Does it hurt?"

"No," Toph sniffed. "And if you're trying to figure out which part of me is injured or possibly broken, it's my other arm. I can't move it."

Azula sighed. "You could've at least tried letting your legs absorb the impact of your fall if you were planning to jump out after me."

"Thanks, genius, but I was kinda busy praying that Appa heard the call of my whistle to think about how I could help myself to not die." Toph turned to face Azula, green eyes glimmering in Yue's light. "And if Appa caught you yet."

"It was dumb luck that he did," Azula said smoothly, moving over so she was sitting on Toph's left now. Her hand slid up Toph's wrist gently, applying pressure at intervals to check for the fracture's position. "For both of us."

Toph gasped sharply when Azula reached the spot just above her elbow. "This is all _your_ fault," she hissed.

Azula rolled her eyes. "You're the one who willingly gets hurt for my sake." There was a pause as Azula looked into Toph's face. "Stop complaining."

"I will if you know how to heal me, but until then, I'll make no such promises." Toph's lips tugged into a wry smile, despite the pain that was present.

Azula was visited by the urge to start grinning like a fool. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she looked away from Toph and let her eyes wander up to the stars that were whizzing past them. She almost forgot how long she'd been in the Fire Palace, being entreated time and time again by Nilak and Aang to _open up, tell us how you feel. _Now, there was no one but Toph.

Somehow, Azula liked it better that way. A part of her wondered if she could find a way to steer the beast, so they could stay atop Appa forever, flying, as they lay down underneath the stars together with no one to catch them—

She shook her head when she was jolted out of her fantasy by Toph's hiss of pain. Azula instinctively turned back to the girl and saw that Toph had once again rolled on her right side. It seemed every breath she took was filled with hurt, and Azula leaned over again, cupping Toph's face.

"You shouldn't lie down like that."

To Azula's surprise, Toph didn't jerk away from her touch. Instead, the opposite seemed to happen. Azula wasn't quite sure if it was just her imagination, or if Toph had really relaxed into the palm of her hand. Either way, she began to move her thumb across Toph's cheek in gentle strokes, vaguely remembering a time when Ursa had done the same for her. She followed what she could remember of her mother, and found that Toph was beginning to relax.

"Sitting up isn't going to help." Toph coughed. "A waterbender would."

"So ask Sugar Queen."

Toph's amusement was a quiet light in her eyes. "Since when did _you _start calling her Sugar Queen?"

Azula smiled, though she felt no fondness in remembering her last conversation with Katara. "A while ago."

"That's _my_ thing," Toph said, but did not seem to think to ask Azula to stop. She closed her eyes, and continued, "Whatever. Anyway, if you haven't noticed, we're the only ones with Appa. We're fresh out of waterbenders right now."

Azula cracked a smile at her words, dazed with an odd kind of relief. Had the Water Tribe peasants and Avatar been here, she wouldn't have been able to lay even a finger on Toph. She recalled the icy prison her hands had been encased in before and shuddered at the memory of it. Yes, they were safe here. Alone. She swayed slightly, suddenly feeling tired, and looked to the top of Appa's head. The empty seat where the Avatar usually occupied greeted her, and the sight of unmanned reins gave rise to a gripping alarm.

_We're alone on _the Avatar's _sky bison._

"Wait a minute," she straightened herself quickly as if struck, retracting her hand, "Where are we even going?"

Toph opened her eyes, as if it would make a difference. "Kyoshi Island, but—"

"So who's going to maneuver the bison?" Azula looked back down at Toph, finding it odd that she would be so calm at a time like this. "I would if it actually _liked _me, and if you haven't noticed, you're—"

"Will you relax?" Toph rolled her eyes and gestured for Azula to help her sit up again. Impatiently, but not carelessly, Azula did so. Once Toph was in a comfortable position, she continued, "I didn't mean we were going to be left alone _forever_." She raised her nose, inhaling the cool night air deeply. "Twinkle Toes should be catching up with us soon."

Azula instinctively looked over her shoulder, half-expecting the Avatar to swoop in out of nowhere on his glider. In the sky above and behind them, she saw nothing that looked remotely like Aang and his glider, and Azula returned her gaze to Toph's face. The strange relief came back, and she had the maddest inclination to laugh. There was her chance, another shot at running away and disappearing into the world, and all she could do was sit as if chained down, plagued by a realization that made her deflate slightly.

_Toph would never let you go._

"That's a shame," she said quietly.

"Shame?" Toph raised an eyebrow. "Those people were after you."

"I didn't mean that." Azula felt her throat clog up all of a sudden. She swallowed hard, but the lump was still there. "Never mind."

Toph leaned forward, taking care not to move her injured arm. Azula found her lips dangerously close to her forehead, and she was beginning to feel a little giddy from the familiar scent of Toph. When she caught herself mimicking Toph and leaning forward, Azula quickly drew back. She caught the brief look of disappointment in Toph's eyes, but ignored it. Instead, she turned away again and fixed her gaze on the moon.

"Don't you want to do something about this?" Toph asked suddenly, when the silence between them had gotten too heavy. Azula jerked her head back in Toph's direction, nonplussed. "They _did _storm the palace because of you."

"I can do nothing," Azula repeated her words from earlier on. She looked over her shoulder quickly, to check if the dragon was trailing them. And exhaled when she saw that it was not. "I'm crazy, remember? A crazy war criminal with the blood of thousands on her hands. Just like her father. I deserve the punishment he received."

"Do you really believe that?"

"No. That's what the world believes." Azula smiled wistfully. "I don't have to feel the same way."

Toph frowned. "So what _do _you feel?"

Azula crossed her arms over her chest, and looked down at her lap. "Nothing."

"You shouldn't lie to me, you know," Toph said, an edge coming on to her voice. "You're not as good as you were."

"Let's pretend that I still am and leave it at that." Azula said, clenching her fists so hard she was beginning to feel pain. "I tire of this. Leave me be."

"I'll stop if you tell me something honest just this once." Toph drew closer to Azula, seemingly unaware of the effect her closeness was having on Azula. The firebender squirmed slightly as Toph went on, "Look. There's no one but us here. All the privacy you could ever want."

Azula laughed shakily, backing away slowly. "What are you doing? What makes you think I'll talk to _you_? What makes you so different?" She paused, and looked away again uncomfortably. "Just stop. I mean it this time."

She cursed the stubborn nature of earthbenders as Toph prodded her again, as if she hadn't been warned.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Toph urged, and the hard look in her eyes indicated the gravity of her words. If Azula hadn't looked, she might not have taken the girl seriously. "It's just me."

_That's what they all say._

"How do I know that's true?" Azula asked haltingly, watching Toph for any signs that she might be lying. A serpent's voice—or two, Azula could no longer tell—teased her from the shadows in her mind. _She's baiting you. Careful, Princess. _The temperature seemed to drop rapidly as the hissing caused an involuntary shudder in Azula, and she unthinkingly drew closer to Toph. They had never shown themselves like this before—

_Let her in and she will—hurt you. She is your _enemy_!_

A hand—warm, with a steel grip—closed around her own, and Azula looked down.

And didn't pull away.

This was not the act of an enemy.

"You don't," Toph admitted. She tangled her trembling fingers with Azula's, as if she were afraid of the contact. "You don't have to know everything." Azula shut her eyes tightly, attempting to will away the images that were forming rapidly in her head, and suddenly she was fighting off Toph_—no, it's Mother again__—_

_"—so much pressure, 'Zula, are you sure you can handle it? No, that's it. I'm going to have a word with your father—" Ursa stood up, robes flapping as indignantly as she was behaving. _

_Azula shot up from where she was sitting and grabbed her mother's sleeve roughly. "Don't! Don't you—he'll think I'm trying to laze around like _Zuzu_—I can do this, just leave me alone! I know what you're doing! You just__—don't want me to beat Zuzu at__—_" She released her mother at last, words failing her, and stepped away from Ursa. Why can't you understand me like you understand him?

_Azula avoided her gaze, but could not shut her ears to the sad whisper that grated at her nerves and sent her running from the garden._

_"You shouldn't have to."_

"I don't have to. I need to."

"Why?"

The raw sound of Toph's voice stirred something inside her chest, and Azula suddenly found it hard to breathe. Or keep calm.

"Because that's just how it is. Why do you _care_?" Azula asked sharply, and drew back. "You're supposed to be angry," she continued, and when Toph looked as though she didn't understand, she added agitatedly, "At _me!_"

"I am!" Toph answered quickly and all too loudly, eyes narrowing. "Don't think for a second that I'm not. But that doesn't mean I don't _like_ you. You can get mad at a person but still like them. Or have you always just been mad?"

Azula blinked. The effect of Toph's words on her was akin to being slapped. _Yes, I am mad, if you haven't gotten it by now, _she wanted to say, but other words came out of her mouth. Words entirely different from the ones she'd prepared. "_You like me?_"

Toph growled something unintelligible under her breath, something along the lines of _I can't believe you're human_. "You know, sometimes I wonder if Snoozles was right all along."

"Right about what?" Azula asked, not even bothering to find out who 'Snoozles' was. She had her bets on Sokka, however.

"That you're actually a dragon underneath all that makeup."

_It must be exhaustion, _Azula told herself as she burst into laughter. There really was no reason to find it as funny as she did, but Azula found herself hardly caring. Until she wiped the tears from her still watering eyes and took a good look at Toph, whose jaw was hanging slightly loose. And all the heat returned to her, racing up her neck and over her ears.

Faintly, Azula remembered the last time she'd tried laughing. And then, as if somehow thinking that Toph could read her mind and pluck out that one embarrassing incident—_hey there, sweet sugar cakes. How ya likin' this party?_—set her jaw tightly and cleared her throat loudly. Appa grumbled at the sudden intrusion of peace, the sound reverberating underneath them through his large body.

"Well," she started awkwardly, looking away, "maybe _Snoozles…_ is right."

"Whoa." Toph looked at her, moon-eyed. "I must be dreaming."

Azula groaned softly, dragging a hand down her face. "Please, don't be so dramatic."

"But you just laughed like an actual teenager! Like how Twinkle Toes would at a bad joke, even if it's bad."

"Is that not what I am?" Azula demanded. "An _actual teenager_?"

"No," Toph shook her head, ducking her head to hide a grin when Azula let out a hiss of displeasure. "You just… I mean—never mind_._"

Azula glared at Toph, and tried again. "Do you have a problem with my laugh?"

"No!" Now it was Toph's turn to burst out laughing. "Don't take everything so seriously, stupid. Some 'people person' _you _are."

"I don't see what's so funny. And there's nothing wrong with taking things seriously," Azula grumbled, and pulled her hand from Toph's grip. She shifted herself so that her back now faced Toph. Crossing her arms over her chest, Azula directed a glare at the moon and stars above, as if to blame them for her plight.

She didn't turn back or look over her shoulder when she heard light scuffling behind her, knowing it was Toph trying to move around on her own. Though she itched to help the girl do whatever it was she wanted to, Azula was stopped all too easily by her wounded pride.

Bitterly, she reflected on how Zuko would be the only one who could understand her in that moment.

"Hey, hey." Toph moved up beside Azula, barely suppressing her wicked grin. "Don't throw your princess fits on me."

"That was hardly a fit," Azula said, rolling her eyes. "You haven't seen 'princess' yet."

Toph snickered and punched Azula in the arm, withholding her strength at the last moment. "You're so stiff, you know? Relax."

"As if I have been anything else _but _stiff." Azula drew her knees close to her chest, hugging them as Appa ascended into colder air. "They tell me the same thing, too. They said I didn't say much, and that they couldn't help me if I chose not to."

"They're right."

Azula snorted, thinking of the doctors and nurses that had haunted her in the day when her hallucinations had gone. _All they ever did was sedate me. Force feed me through tubes. Tighten my chains. And they expected me to talk, after all of that._ "How could they have helped me? They don't even—_I _don't know them. I don't trust them."

"What about me? Do you trust me?" Toph asked, after pausing to take in her words.

"You still want an answer to that?" Azula's smile was hollow. "I'm afraid you'll be quite disappointed to hear it."

Toph made a noise like _hn _and picked absently at her toenails. "You just think everyone's out to get you. You don't know them as much as they don't know you."

"It's not your place to speak to me like that." Azula glanced at Toph with a reproachful glare. "Even if I'm not trying to kill you at every chance I get."

Toph rolled her eyes. "Get off your high horse, Fire Lily. I say what I want, deal with it. And I'm telling you," green eyes flashed her way, blazing, "if you give yourself a chance, things are gonna start looking up one day. You'll get—better."

"You don't know if that can happen." Azula shook her head, a gesture meant for herself rather than Toph. "Not for me. Not for anyone."

"It did for me." Toph nudged her with her good arm.

Azula looked away. "What changed?"

"Nothing." Toph shrugged, and then added as an afterthought, "Someone changed me."

For some reason, jealousy clawed at Azula's chest from the inside, demanding release. She tensed slightly, but kept herself close to Toph. "Who?"

"No one you need to know about," Toph said. "He's far away now."

"Do you mean that literally?"

Toph said nothing for a long moment. And then she looked up—or at least, she looked like she did—eyes gleaming in the moonlight once again. Azula was fighting tooth and nail to keep herself composed at the sight. She wouldn't lose control again.

"Well… to be honest…" Toph wet her lips. "No, not really."

The monster of jealousy inside Azula was hissing venomous words in her mind. _Hunt him, kill him… _Azula shook her head, feeling absurd for even entertaining those thoughts. Toph wasn't anyone important to her, so there was no reason why she should be feeling so possessive over the girl.

That was what she told herself insistently.

"Shouldn't you be with him now, then?" Azula did her best not to sound displeased, but failed miserably. Toph didn't seem to notice this, and shrugged in response.

"Can't," she said simply.

"Why not?" Azula raised an eyebrow. "If he's such a good influence on you…"

"I have you now."

And just like that, the thing inside Azula died. She relaxed, feeling the tightness in her muscles evaporate, and felt her lips stretch into a half-smile. "What makes me better than him?" _And what did you mean by that?_

"Not better." Toph smiled, almost apologetically. "Different. But…"

Toph reached over and turned Azula's face back towards her with one hand, green eyes searching and pensive. And then, like a moth to flame, Toph leaned forward and pushed through the invisible barrier that Azula had put up for both of them and kissed her.

And as she did, Azula wondered whom the privacy was really for.

* * *

Aang ascended higher into the sky on his glider, his insides churning with worry and paranoia. He'd been calling out for Appa for almost ten minutes after departing from the caldera city, but there had been no response from his friend. He suddenly wondered if it was a bad idea insisting that Toph take Azula out of the palace first, but quickly reminded himself that it was right to keep her away from danger. The intruders had proved to be mighty fighters and benders, thirsty for Azula's blood, and had killed six of Zuko's men before they were taken down.

Once more, placing the mouth of the bison whistle between his lips, he blew hard into it. For a moment, all Aang heard was the sound of his own robes flapping in the howling wind, and then Appa's roar reached him from across a great distance. Laughing out of relief, Aang took a quick dive in the air and propelled himself towards the source of his bison's call.

Azula was looking up at him with a particularly bored look in her eyes as he landed noiselessly on the saddle. The wings of his glider snapped back into his staff as he approached her, and raised an eyebrow in surprise when he saw Toph sleeping with her head on Azula's lap.

"It's better than resisting the pain," Azula explained, and when Aang prompted her silently to elaborate, she went on, "She landed badly."

_Landed badly? What did she do? _Aang sighed. _What _wouldn't _Toph do?_ _Yeah, it might have been a really bad idea… _He knelt down beside Toph's sleeping form, pulling out a waterskin Katara had given him. Gently, he roused his friend from her slumber.

"Toph, it's me," he said quietly, nudging her.

Toph stirred in her sleep, eyelids fluttering. "Go 'way, Twinkle Toes… too early…"

"I think you shouldn't," Azula told him. Aang looked up at the firebender in surprise. Had it just been his imagination or did she sound… protective?

He cleared his throat. "Um, okay then." He set his glider down beside Toph and Azula and stood up. "Let me know when she's awake."

Azula nodded wordlessly and returned her gaze to Toph, golden eyes thoughtful.

"What happened back there?" Azula asked, when Aang walked around them to get to Appa's reins. "Who were they and what did they want?"

"You, of course," Aang said, though his tone was not accusing or harsh. "They were good fighters."

"That's all you've got?" The sound of Azula's laughter made Aang cringe. "Did you kill them? No, you probably didn't, so I assume Zuzu's interrogating them right now."

Aang seated himself at the front of the saddle and picked up the reins. "One died," he said shortly, before channeling his focus to steering Appa in the right direction. A light tug of the reins was enough to alert his friend, and Appa tilted slightly, beginning to swerve right. "But you're right. We rounded up the survivors and Zuko's already questioning all of them. Or what's left of them."

"Poor thing," Azula crooned, "You must have felt so bad."

Aang bristled at her words, but kept himself in check. "I didn't kill him."

"What difference does it make?"

Aang deliberated over her words for a while, feeling the reins between his fingers. He looked beyond the top of Appa's head, at the Fire Nation islands that were sliding out of view as they gained speed. He was pointedly staring, but he wasn't really looking; his thoughts were elsewhere, jumbled and buzzing with the battle that had taken place earlier on.

_They had intended to separate everyone. Create a great distraction._

They succeeded_, Aang remarked in his head as he stood before three of them. All around him were signs of a rough battle that had not quite ended; scorch marks decorated the walls around them, smoke curling upwards from them. The Fire Lord's soldiers were either recovering or unconscious, and a few staggered to their feet behind the Avatar._

_Zuko and Nilak had been thrown off course by a bunch of earthbenders. Aang had found Sokka a moment later, but Katara was nowhere to be seen. Toph was missing, too, and all of this made Aang's stomach twist and knot uncomfortably. _

_They had not been prepared for this. But _they _were. _Someone knew when to strike, when the Fire Lord was preoccupied—along with the rest of his subjects, _Aang remarked to himself. _Someone knew.

_A cry from further down the hall caught his attention, and he reluctantly pushed his inconclusive thoughts away for the moment. _

_There were more important things he had to attend to right now._

_The door to Azula's bedroom was shut. Aang resolved to keep it that way. If Azula had any sense, she wouldn't open it. _

_He gripped his staff, watching the masked men closely as they propelled towards his position. Their objective was Azula, so dodging them would only create an opening for escape. Instead of flowing with their movements and evading their charge, Aang stood his ground and dropped into a low crouch with one leg outstretched. Just as the first man closed in on him, a boomerang shot out from behind, finding its target in the back of the intruder's head._

_Aang shifted his weight quickly, grateful for the temporary distraction, and hurled streams of flame at the others that narrowly avoided Boomerang's wrath. A firebender amongst their ranks darted forward, expelling the flames with a quick thrust of a palm turned outwards. Another palm pushed forward and the man paid Aang back in kind with a blast of fire of his own._

_The airbender in Aang forced him to drop even lower and he lay flat on the ground as the flames barely grazed his robes._

"_Go! Get the Princess!"_

_Hurried footsteps swept past Aang, but were still not fast against an airbender. Pushing himself from his prostrate position with a spring, Aang brought his legs forward in a sweeping arc at lightning speed. A few feet stumbled over his, and the gust of wind that accompanied his movement threw the men off their feet completely. _

_Just as Aang leaped to his feet, so did two of the intruders. Jets of flame and spikes of ice headed his way, narrowly missing his head as he darted sideways, landing a safe distance away. Without missing a beat, Aang thrust a fist forward towards and harried them with a barrage of fireballs. Sokka came into view moments later, brandishing his sword expertly as he clashed blades with the only non-bender in the group._

"_Where's Katara?" Aang yelled above the tumult of clashing steel, crackling flames and shattering ice. Sokka ducked deftly as a blade swept across the space where his head had been, dropped into a crouch and rolled to the side. _

_Springing to his feet and parrying another blow just in time, Sokka yelled back to Aang, "I—I don't know! They cut us off on our way up—"_

_Sokka was interrupted by a flurry of attacks from the masked swordsman, and Aang found himself preoccupied with the two benders as well. Pushing them back with another squall of wind, Aang took advantage of the brief window of opportunity that presented itself and delivered a roundhouse kick to the fazed waterbender. The man fell over with a groan, clutching his face with one hand. _

"_Give it up, Avatar!" the firebender barked from behind, scorching the tip of Aang's robes as the airbender jumped away just in time, "More of us are coming; you're all outnumbered! Just hand over the Princess and we'll leave in peace—"_

_A bright rivulet of golden flames rudely interrupted him. He jumped back as he hissed—or his burnt skin did, Aang couldn't tell—and Aang advanced on him. The man's mask fell to the ground in a smoldering heap, revealing a bearded face beneath its cover. Scowling, he moved to attack Aang, flying daggers at the ready. Aang shifted his weight easily, ducking to avoid an onslaught of slashes._

_And then he found himself with his back to the doors to Azula's room. Without blinking, Aang pushed against the doors and—to his extreme surprise—found that they were unlocked. He jumped backwards, away from the firebender that had lunged at him and the two slowed to a pause when they realized that there was no one in the room._

"_What?" spluttered the firebender, looking around with angry amber eyes. "Where is she?" He took a swipe at Aang, who moved away quickly. "Where are you hiding the Princess? Out with it!"_

"_I don't—" Aang sidestepped the firebender again, and then let the side of his hand meet with the back of the man's neck, palm turned upwards. As the man let out a pained groan and fell to the ground limply, Aang exhaled forcibly. "I don't know."_

"_Aang!" Sokka chose this moment to rush into the room, accompanied by soldiers that were trailing after him, clutching at their own individual wounds. The Water Tribe warrior looked around the lavishly decorated bedroom for a moment, blinking confusedly, before turning back to his friend. "Where's Azula?"_

"_That's what I'd like to know," Aang said, dusting himself off._

"_She never returned to her room," one of the soldiers said, and Aang guessed that he was one of the two that were stationed to guard Azula at all times. "Not since she left for the courtyard this afternoon. We thought it would be best to pretend that she was actually here, to distract them."_

"_They might already have her," Aang remarked gravely, though he nodded approvingly. _

_Sokka scowled. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go get her!"_

"_I don't know where she is. Just… wait." Aang raised one foot and stamped hard on the ground, eyes shut tight in concentration as he let his earthbending guide the way. Then, he looked back at Sokka with a new light in his eyes. "But I know where Katara is."_

_Sokka's eyes widened at the mention of his sister. He was already heading for the door as Aang began to follow. "Alright, lead the way, and fast. We need to regroup before taking them on and finding Azula."_

_They found Katara cornered by a pair of firebenders, three floors below. Upon seeing that she was fresh out of water, having used it all up as ice pikes to harry the enemy with, Aang immediately jumped into the fray with Sokka at his side. Katara's eyes widened in recognition as she spotted them, and her mouth opened to call out to them, as if to ward them away._

_Aang never saw the signs._

_They came down on the three of them, as a black mass determined to swallow them all whole. Aang shoved Sokka out of the way as the ceiling collapsed, courtesy of an earthbender. He rolled and deftly got to his feet a moment later, hearing nothing but the loud thunderous crash of rock and brick—_

—_and Sokka's scream. _

_"_Don't touch her!_"_

_Aang looked up and felt his heart shoot up to his throat. One of the firebenders had his arm around Katara's neck in a tight lock, if her watering eyes were any indication. A flaming dagger hovered dangerously close to her skin, the firelight giving Katara's face a ghostly aspect to it. She looked to be trying to say something, and Aang barely noticed the slight shake of her head as he took a step towards them._

_Sokka was gripping Boomerang in one hand and his sword in the other, eyes wide with fear and agitation. Aang glanced at the warrior, knowing that his emotions were reflected in Sokka's tenacious blue ones, and took a deep breath._

"_You want her, give us the Princess!" the firebender holding Katara hostage said. Almost immediately, the black shadows swarmed towards Aang and Sokka, water, earth and fire all at their disposal, ready to let the one who had Katara have a head start—_

_A section of the wall suddenly came off on its own, startling everyone. Aang's initial thought was that this was the doing of one of their earthbenders, but no one looked to be in control of it. And, instead of going for Aang and Sokka, it hurtled into the group of masked benders with the loud sound of breaking bricks. The dust that came from the debris enveloped them all, and Aang could barely make out the man sliding out of view with Katara in tow. _

"_Twinkle Toes? Snoozles?" Toph bounded through the hole she'd made in the wall. "I came as soon as I—"_

"_Where is she?!" The resounding sound of hand coming into contact with skin jolted Sokka out of his daze. Katara's cry seemed to give him the push he needed, and control of his limbs returned to him as he staggered forward, clutching his sword._

_Aang expelled the dust with one mighty blow of wind, and followed after Sokka while calling out to Toph. "They've got Katara! Come on!"_

_Sokka had already broken into a run, making a beeline towards where Katara was scuffling with the firebender that held her. The same bravery and determination he'd seen in her eyes so many times before surfaced again, but it still wasn't enough against the stronger foe. Fear gripped his heart like an icy hand when a flaming hand moved to grip Katara by the neck, and he began to tap into the Avatar state, energy coursing through him like the blood in his veins—_

_Katara choked out suddenly, "__Sokka, wait—!"_

_Aang opened his eyes, largely aware that he hadn't gone into the Avatar state yet. He was also aware that Sokka had somehow managed to separate the firebender from Katara with his bare hands, and was wrestling the man to the ground despite the flames that were licking dangerously close to his face. Sokka raised a fist and brought it down on the firebender's nose, letting a sickening crunch resonate in the still air._

_Seeing the panic in Katara's eyes, Aang quickly moved to pull Sokka away. Toph seemed to be aware of what was happening, and raised her hands slowly, preparing to encase the firebender in an earth prison once Sokka was clear—_

"_Get off me, Aang!" _

_Sokka shoved Aang away with a fire in his eyes that no one recognized. When he was satisfied with the distance between him and the others, Sokka returned his attention to the firebender beneath him. He raised his fist again, and Aang noted with horror that his hand was gripping a sword. The blinding glint of a steel blade fazed him for a moment, and when his instincts kicked in, to save rather than to let blood be spilled, it had already been too late._

_Katara was already pulling her brother away when the firebender breathed his last, blood spurting from his throat where the sword was lodged. __One look was all it took to confirm that the man was dead and beyond healing. Aang bowed his head as though in mourning, and Toph shuffled up beside him, breathing hard._

"_What—?" she began, but Sokka gave her the answer Aang could not._

"_He deserved it," Sokka screamed, glaring pointedly at the man's bleeding form. "No one hurts my sister—no one!"_

"_Sokka, I'm fine," Katara cried. Aang looked up and saw that her arms were wrapped around his waist, as if trying to pull him back to reality. "I'm here! I'm here… please…"_

_Aang felt Toph place a hand on his shoulder, a gesture meant to catch his attention rather than comfort him. "We're not out of this yet. There's more of them. They're coming in from the roof, scaling downwards."_

"_They're looking for Azula—"_

"_I know where she is," Toph said. "I'll go get her. Take her somewhere safe. Any ideas?"_

"_Kyoshi Island," Aang instructed, and he was already moving towards Katara and Sokka. "Take Appa. I'll catch up with you once I'm done here."_

_Silence meant that Toph had already gone on ahead. He ignored the smell of blood in the air as he placed a hand on Katara, and closed his eyes as she let him pull her into an embrace._

_Even with Katara in his arms, and the familiar feel of his lover's body against his, Aang found it hard to forget the image of Sokka and his blank eyes._

_Staring directly at the dead firebender._

"It makes all the difference in the world." Aang sighed, shoulders sagging. "At least, to me."

He was grateful for the silence Azula had allowed to settle in between them. He watched the waters of the ocean beneath them sadly, sparkling in Yue's kind light, never quite forgetting the image of the dead firebender.

* * *

Kyoshi Island came into view some time later, just as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

Azula squinted at the little island in the distance, peering over the edge of the saddle, and watched it grow larger as Aang guided Appa downwards. Black specks could be seen, even from this height, and Azula noted with much discomfort that they were anticipating the Avatar's arrival. She shuddered at the thought of their reactions to seeing the fallen princess in his company, but forgot all about it when Toph stirred in her sleep.

"'Zula…" Toph slurred, eyelids fluttering like butterfly wings. Her good hand moved aimlessly about, and Azula had the sense to catch it with her own, dazed at the use of her name. _No one's called me that in years. I can't even remember the last time..._

"Wake up," Azula said. She dumbly squeezed Toph's hand, as if it would rouse the girl from her deep slumber. To her dismay, Toph responded by curling her fingers around Azula's hand, and her grip grew tighter and tighter until Azula realized that the pain was getting to her as she awoke.

Toph let out a hiss and let her eyelids fly open, the pain visible in her green pools. "Spirits… it hurts!"

Aang's voice reached Azula before she saw his face. "Keep her calm until I land. I'll get to healing her shortly."

Azula didn't need telling twice. She reached over with another hand and wiped away the perspiration that gleamed on Toph's brow with her sleeve. "Be still. The Avatar is here."

"Aang!" Toph sighed sharply, relieved. "About damn _time, _Twinkle Toes!"

Aang's chuckle was as light as the wind. They landed gently—as gently as a sky bison could be anyway—and within moments the Avatar was by their side. He swung Toph's uninjured arm around his neck and, with Azula's help, brought her to her feet.

"Just a while more," he promised with that placating voice he always used and, sweeping Toph's feet off the ground with his other arm and carrying her with ease, leaped off the saddle and landed softly on the sand below. If Azula hadn't noticed the change in her nemesis, she surely noticed it now. The years had done Aang well; he was considerably taller, almost matching Sokka and Zuko in terms of height, and his strength seemed to have increased as well. His once lean arms were slightly more muscled, and he looked less like a child now.

The Kyoshi warrior leader—whose name Azula could not remember—was already waiting with several others at the entrance to the village. As she leaped off Appa's saddle and landed expertly on the sand, she couldn't help but feel a bit of hesitation as she looked on at the scene. The auburn-haired girl was talking to Aang, her mildly pretty face stricken with concern as she looked at Toph. Then Aang was saying something else now, and caused the girl to look over his shoulder and at Azula. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she kept scrutinizing Azula even as she approached them.

"Of course everything had to happen because of you," the Kyoshi warrior said snidely. "I heard about your grand escape and how you brought everything crashing down. And now you're here to hide from your troubles."

"Suki," Aang chided gently, shaking his head. "Now's not the time."

_Suki, _Azula repeated in her head, remembering her days in the Boiling Rock. She had found Suki to be the prisoner that provided her with the most entertainment, and she'd largely enjoyed watching the hurt and fear cross the girl's face whenever she mentioned Sokka. Azula liked it when things bent to her will, but she couldn't deny liking the act of breaking stubborn things a little more. There was always the satisfaction of watching the rebellion leave someone's eyes, and hearing the defeat in their voice. Suki had almost been one of those people.

Toph, Azula thought pensively, might have been such a person as well. Her gaze fell upon the metalbender in Aang's arms, who was wincing in pain. _Now's not the time, _Aang seemed to be reminding her in her head.

"Fine," Suki conceded, but not before shooting Azula a sharp glare. She gestured for Aang to follow her. "Come. We'll take her inside where you can heal her."

Azula had only ever studied the life of a Kyoshi warrior. Knowing and experiencing were two different things, and this was true even for something she had easily overlooked in her years at the academy. Nothing had interested her quite like the art of firebending, but it didn't mean she forgot everything else she'd learnt. Prodigious memory did not let her forget.

The room Suki had showed them to was exactly how she had envisioned it by picking at her prodigious memory and piecing the environment together before seeing it for herself.

The large panel slid left, revealing a simple room with a futon that lay in the middle of a wooden surface. There were several paintings, hanging off the walls and swaying slightly as the wind rushed in. Azula spotted a decorative alcove in the corner, housing a painting of Avatar Kyoshi and flowers placed in vases, flanking either side of the fearsome form of the past Avatar.

Aang laid Toph down on the futon, and a younger Kyoshi warrior flitted into the room carrying a small basin of water. Once she'd set it down beside Aang, she left at Suki's dismissive wave and slid the panel to a close behind her.

The Avatar wasted no time after Suki helped to roll Toph's sleeve up; in one swift move, his hand was coated with the water from the basin. It glowed brilliantly, even in the sunlight that streamed in through the window, and Aang carefully ran his hand over the entire length of Toph's exposed arm, humming in concentration. When Toph finally sighed with relief, Aang drew his hand away and returned the water to the basin, looking pleased with himself.

"You're alright now, Toph," he told his friend affectionately.

Toph raised her previously injured arm and swung it about for good measure. Then, a grin split across her face and she sat up with renewed energy. "Don't I know it!" she said happily, and delivered a punch to Aang's shoulder with her fist. "Thanks, Twinkle Toes."

"What are we gonna do with _her_?" Suki asked, killing the light mood almost too easily.

Aang fetched his glider from the foot of the futon and stood up, facing Suki. "I'm leaving Azula here in the protection of the Kyoshi Warriors, and Toph, while I—"

"Protection?" Suki spluttered, taking a step back. She gestured wildly to Azula without even looking. "How can you even want us to keep someone like her _safe_? If anything, she should be returned to the Fire Nation to put an end to those problems!"

"By execution? Is something like that really going to satisfy everyone?" Aang frowned at Suki, his gray eyes turning stormy. "It's not what Zuko wishes, and it's not what I wish." His eyes flicked away, the storm receding suddenly. "At the very least, she should stand trial. But the Fire Nation is in disarray; we don't have time yet to call for a negotiation with the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. This is… only temporary."

"Aang, haven't you known her long enough to know what she's like? Showing her kindness won't change a thing!" Suki eyed Azula with contempt. "She's still a monster. Trial or no trial."

Azula burst out in laughter as Aang scowled. The Avatar placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Suki, you have to trust me on this. I know you still hold a grudge, and so does everyone else, but death won't solve a thing. I'm sure of it."

"Oh, do listen to him," Azula said in a sing-song manner, though Suki pretended not to care. "He's the Avatar, after all. The answer to the world's problems and things like that."

Aang's glower indicated that he was not about to wholeheartedly agree, but his words revealed otherwise. "I promise you, Suki, I'll make things right. Just give me a few days to get Sokka and the others over, and I'll explain things to you in detail."

Suki perked at the mention of Sokka's name. "Sokka's coming over?"

"He has to." Aang decided not to say anymore, and turned to Toph. "Toph, you'll watch Azula, won't you?"

"Tch, yeah." Toph blew a loose strand of hair out of her face. "I'll try not to kill her in the process of waiting. Don't take too long, this time."

"I won't." Aang was out of the room seconds later, and Suki followed after him, but not before casting Azula a wary glance.

Her warning rang loud and clear in the peaceful atmosphere of Kyoshi Island. "Don't try anything. You may not look it, but you are the prisoner of the Kyoshi Warriors now. Remember that."

Azula laughed again, shaking her head. "What else is new?"

Her words hung in the air as Toph said nothing.

* * *

Toph left a while later, after announcing that it was time for lunch. Azula didn't like being treated like a pet, but she reminded herself that at least her keeper wasn't Suki. As far as Azula could tell, the girl was just as bad as Katara. Perhaps Sokka liked girls like his own sister, but the thought was threatening to kill her appetite so she took to walking around in slow circles, counting the seconds until Toph came back.

Toph returned with a bowl of jook accompanied with salted egg and laid it on the floor beside the futon, shrugging in response when Azula asked if that was all they had. Azula peered down at the bowl, filled to the brim with the steaming congee, and decided that while it was no spicy Fire Nation delight, it wasn't a Water Tribe dish either.

Azula ate in silence while Toph sat beside her, picking at her toenails again. The afternoon sunlight filtered in through the open window, along with the loud shouts and screams of several girls that reminded Azula of Ty Lee. She initially panicked, thinking that the flighty acrobat was on the island, but knowing Ty Lee, she would have been visited and smothered by her former friend by now. No squeaky girl came flying through the door, and Azula felt slightly more fortunate than before.

She laid down the empty bowl slowly after she finished, and folded her arms neatly, staring intensely at the wall across the room.

"Are you fuming again?" asked Toph, turning her eyes in Azula's direction, after a few minutes passed.

"I never stopped," Azula replied flatly.

"You wanna tell me why?"

"Not in the slightest."

Toph muttered something under her breath. She slowly drew her knees close to her chest after she was satisfied with the condition of her toenails and rested her head between them. Azula suspected that this would become their routine until the Avatar returned with whomever it was he was bringing, leaving no space for freedom. Suddenly, the room seemed a little smaller. The walls might just have closed in on them a little more when Azula wasn't looking.

Then, an idea came to mind, and Azula glanced at the equally bored metalbender. "I want to go for a walk."

Toph raised an eyebrow. "I'll have to ask Suki."

"Then I'm probably not going to get my walk." Azula sighed dramatically, and lay back down on the futon.

Toph rose to her feet, shaking her head. "I didn't say _I_ wouldn't let you." Azula watched with an odd flutter in her chest as the blind bender slid the panel with one hand, throwing a conspiratorial smirk over her shoulder. "Coming?"

They stepped out for a few feet before a Kyoshi warrior stopped them. "She's not allowed to walk the grounds. Suki's orders."

Azula bestowed the Kyoshi warrior with her stormiest glare. "You'll let me—" she started, but stopped when Toph raised a hand.

"You know how she is," Toph said smoothly, gesturing absently to Azula, "Keep someone like her locked up and she'll start setting everything on fire. You don't feed someone food and lock 'em up all day and call that rehab."

"Still—"

Toph groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead, "I have to stay with her all day and night until Twinkle Toes comes back. At least let me make it easier for myself!"

The warrior bristled at Toph's words before stepping aside reluctantly, understanding clear as day in her brown eyes, almost as if to say: _You shouldn't have to suffer with this monster, so I'll let you pass._ "I'll still have to inform Suki, you know."

"We'll be back in time for dinner," Toph said airily, waving the girl off as she walked past her.

Azula followed silently, glancing at the Kyoshi warrior only briefly, and wondered when Toph had learnt to manipulate people like that. And then, as she fell into step with her guard, Azula wondered when being with Toph Beifong had become so easy.

* * *

Toph knew she should at least be feeling bad. After all, she'd let Azula out into the open behind Suki's back when she had been given direct orders to report to her if Azula needed anything. Even with the knowledge that she might be risking her hold on Azula—she reminded herself it was for Zuko's sake—the thought of turning back and keeping her where people could keep an eye on her never came. She supposed she knew how Azula felt; Lao and Poppy had never let her out unless extremely necessary, and while they had never seen her as someone dangerous, they saw the world as something that threatened her life. Toph decided it was the same thing, and that was what kept her walking.

She dug her toes gratefully into the sand when they arrived at the beach, having had enough of flying and being carried around like a helpless person, and kept her concentration on Azula, who was trailing a distance away behind her. The former princess joined her side moments later, and they stood at the edge of the water, letting little waves lap at their feet.

"I don't like water," Azula commented beside her, and then moved away to sit down.

"I don't like water either," Toph said, but made no move to follow Azula, knowing she wasn't going anywhere, "but probably not for the reason you have."

"Oh?" Azula's voice was thick with interest, though Toph suspected that in reality it mattered less to her than anything else. "Care to share?"

"No, not really. It's not important." Toph shook her head, more to herself than to Azula. "I thought you wanted to walk."

She heard Azula snort behind her. "I just wanted to get out."

"So what happens now?" asked Toph, digging her feet into the soft, wet sand beneath. The cool seawater rushing between her toes made her sigh softly, a temporary relief from the sun that hung over them, radiating its angry heat.

"We stay here until I tire of the beach—"

"I meant in the long run," Toph said quickly, rolling her eyes, and added as an afterthought, "For both of us."

"Not for anything else?" Azula voice was pure sweetness, however false it might have been. "Like the 'bigger things' that the Avatar mentioned?"

Toph sucked in a deep breath, suddenly reluctant to carry on with the conversation. But given the fact that Azula was actually responding and not electing to answer her with silence, Toph went on. "Yeah. That."

The sound of sighing waves was all Toph heard for a while, and then: "Come here."

Not quite hesitantly, Toph shuffled over to where Azula was seated and sat down. The sea breeze whistled a tune as neither of them spoke, and Toph bent over to pick out the sand that had accumulated underneath her toenails, just for something to do. It only occurred to her a while later that Azula had no intention of giving her an answer, and she sighed sharply through her teeth.

"Are you still here, or is my earthbending a little off now?"

"Don't be so paranoid," Azula drawled, "I wouldn't _intentionally_ get you into trouble by leaving."

"You would."

Azula laughed, just like she had when they were on Appa's saddle. It was surprisingly contagious, considering the fact that Azula had never been pleasantly genuine before. She'd always been crazy, angry and maybe even sad, but never happy.

Not like this.

A smile crept its way onto Toph's face. _Maybe this isn't such a bad idea after all. _

They sat there until the wind grew colder, and the sea grew angrier. Thunder rolled in, jolting Toph out of her contented state. A raindrop landed on her nose and she jerked as if stung, and nudged Azula. "Come on. We're going. Storm's coming."

Azula's hand fell on hers, stopping her from getting up. "No," Toph heard her say, "I want to stay."

"What?" Toph asked incredulously, jaw going slack. "You want to _sit through a storm? _I thought you hated water!"

"I like watching the lightning." Azula sighed, the sound of it like the hissing of light rain that had begun. "You can go back on your own if you like, but Suki won't be too pleased. Your choice, Beifong."

"You can watch the lightning from under shelter!" Toph turned her head towards Azula, doing her best to glare. "I'm gonna make you dry my damn clothes—"

"Later," Azula said, lips suddenly too close to Toph's ear. "Now shut up."

The rain grew angrier in no time and Toph twitched uncomfortably, from the cold and from the desire to strangle Azula for getting her into this. _But you chose to stay, _a mocking voice reminded her, _she gave you a choice and you picked what you wanted. _She closed her eyes, irritated with the rainwater that was entering them, and bowed her head so she could avoid being assaulted by cold raindrops that felt like little icy needles when they hit her skin.

Azula's hand was still on top of hers, radiating a heat only firebenders could retain even in the worst storms.

"I used to do this on my own on Ember Island," Azula said loudly, over the sound of roaring waves, howling wind and the deep timbre of thunder. "Zuzu always dragged me back into the house if he found me."

"You've been crazy since birth, haven't you?" Toph asked, lifting her head and smirking slightly, thinking of a little Azula sitting alone in the middle of a rainstorm, sopping wet and little Sparky screaming at her in panic. It wasn't hard to imagine at all.

"Maybe," was all the confirmation Toph got.

They let the storm rage above them, causing waves to crash into the shore just a few feet away. Toph sniffed, beginning to doubt her own sanity as her teeth began to shatter and her skin tingled with the cold wind. She just hoped Aang wasn't back yet, or else there would be a lot of explaining to do.

_Oh, hey, Twinkle Toes! Yeah, I was just taking Fire Lily here out for a walk and we decided to hang out at the beach—no worries! _Toph snorted to herself. _Yeah. Pretty solid, Toph._

"Beifong," Azula started again, after a clap of thunder shook them both, "Can I ask you something?"

"Why start being polite now?" Toph deadpanned, unable to resist.

Azula's hiss matched the rain's. "You mentioned someone before."

"What of it?" Toph asked carefully, half-wishing the wet sand would sink and take her along.

"Why aren't you—with him?" Azula hesitated. "You sounded like he _meant _something to you."

Toph had to laugh at the direction that their conversation was taking. Azula had never shown much interest in her life before, and she'd never made any indication of wanting to start. Something about her questioning made Toph nervous, and she did what Azula used to do best: deflect. "Is the rain making you emotional or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" snapped Azula. "If you don't want to answer me, then say so."

Toph blinked, startled at her vehemence. And slowly, but surely, her cheeks began to heat up. _Why is she asking me that now? What does she want from me? _"Let's not go there."

Azula fell silent, as though pondering over Toph's words, before clearing her throat. "Fine. If you insist."

"Alright, it was a stupid crush," Toph grumbled after a moment's deliberation. "Everything about it was stupid. The end."

"I think I can relate to that," Azula said wryly.

An eyebrow shot up, and Toph had to resist the urge to gasp as she heard the words leave Azula's lips. She'd expected Azula to rub salt into the wound, and she'd braced herself for a caustic remark. But she hadn't prepared herself for something like this.

"You're not saying…" she gave the barest of pauses. "You're not saying you actually—_really_—had a boyfriend once?"

"Why are you so surprised? I am as much a girl as you are!" Azula said heatedly. Defensively. Just like when she thought Toph was making fun of her laugh.

"You just—don't seem like the type," Toph said lamely, "You were always so obsessed with killing Sparky or Twinkle Toes. All of us. Who knew you had time for—"

"It wasn't _love_ and he wasn't my _boyfriend_," Azula snapped, a little too hastily this time. A little too nervously, Toph noted expertly. "I was—he—we were young. And he was stupid. We kissed once and then… well, things went up in flames. I think I—I scared him off."

Toph felt her insides churn at the word 'kissed', and unconsciously placed a hand on her stomach. "He kissed you and then took off? Just like that?"

"Well—" Azula's voice cracked with a rawness Toph had never known before. "Yes."

The storm didn't seem so cold anymore. A fire burned at the bottom of Toph's stomach, threatening to consume her from the inside out. She felt absurd for being jealous about someone that no longer played a role in Azula's life. In her mind, she was encasing this faceless boy in an earth prison and hurtling it into the sea. _It's not like she cares. Right?_

"It happened so fast," Azula went on, and the storm's rage began to reflect Toph's, so much that Toph barely heard Azula's last words. "Just like this."

Just as quickly as it had come, the tempest was stilled and by the touch of warm lips, no less. Everything slid away, muffled by the pounding of Azula's heart in her ears. Toph pushed closer, harder, until all she could feel was Azula and the wild stampede that belonged to them both. A new heat rushed through her, up from her fingertips as she held Azula's face in her hands. She noted with glee that it was _her _that was making Azula react this way. Not some brainless boy who only wanted to have a go with her.

Yes, Toph decided. This was Toph Beifong making Azula feel things she hasn't admitted to feeling.

And it'd stay that way for as long as she could help it.

* * *

The Kyoshi warrior from earlier on stared. And stared _hard_.

_No way._

She was barely able to believe her eyes as she backed away, a million thoughts buzzing in her head like a swarm of bees. Nearly tripping over a dead log, she broke into a run and headed straight for the village. A few of her friends saw her and immediately grew concerned when they saw the shock on her face.

"Get me Suki!" she yelled, and without even waiting for anyone to help her, ran straight towards the training dojo.

Usually, Suki never allowed anyone to dirty the dojo like this. But as she looked up and saw the worrying look on her friend's face, she disregarded that rule for the moment.

"What's going on?"

"Toph Beifong—and Azula—" the girl choked, and had to stop the catch her breath while Suki sprung to her feet.

"What happened?" Suki urged, feeling panic rise.

The girl looked up, wide-eyed, and told her what she saw at the beach. Suki dropped the katana she had been polishing with a clang, and brought a hand up to her mouth.

_You've got to be kidding me._


	15. In the Dark

A/N: If anyone tells you engineering school is fun, not time-consuming and totally safe, they're lying. I have the burns to prove it. (Just kidding. The burns were actually my fault.)

Also...100k words. _Dude_.

**Warning**: Contains hints of incest and rape.

* * *

**15**

The air swirled with dust that seemed to glitter as the moonlight caught it. As the fortified stone tower slid into view, his footsteps grew heavy. A sense of dread filled Zuko as quickly as the air he breathed in and he had to pause to recollect himself. _Remember why you're here, _he reminded himself firmly. He glanced up at the capital city prison and clenched his fists at the memory of his last visit.

His gaze traveled up and rested on the window of the topmost floor. _There's nothing left for you there. No one to see. _He hadn't realized he'd lost track of time because of his musings until hurrying footsteps caught him by surprise. Warily, he glanced over his shoulder and found General Mak at his heel. The man looked paler in the moonlight, but the heavy rise and fall of his chest indicated that he'd been running.

Zuko had given him orders to notify him of several things immediately should they ever happen.

"The Avatar?" Zuko asked shortly.

"Just arrived, Your Majesty." Mak inclined his head in a slight bow. "And resting. He will be with you in the morning to discuss the Princess."

Zuko nodded, stretching out one hand to thump his aide on the shoulder. "Make sure it stays that way. I don't want any interruptions tonight." _I don't want Aang thinking I'm here to see my father again. I don't want Aang knowing I'm even _here_._

"The Fire Lady, sire…" Mak began as Zuko started walking again. Zuko stopped in his tracks at the mention of Mai, caught between the urge to sigh in frustration and smack himself on the head. At Zuko's airy wave, Mak went on, "She wants to see you later, after you've finished with the prisoners."

Zuko gave his loyal aide another nod, and the two parted ways. He trudged up the rocky pathway, trying not to imagine Mai's reaction to his abrupt disappearance into the night. He'd sent a servant to inform her of his whereabouts right after dinner, but what he'd told her hadn't been enough. He hadn't told her much ever since Azula's escape—and return. Stress and civil unrest created a rift between husband and wife, and while Zuko tried to make time for Mai, he'd always managed to see more citizens and paperwork than anything else in a day.

Questions on her part were understandable. But if she probed too much…

He shook his head, clearing his mind of paranoid thoughts. He was already at the foot of the imposing tower, standing before two skull-faced guards. They sprung to attention at the sight of their Fire Lord.

"No one else is to come in after me," Zuko said. "Make sure of it."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Clasping his hands behind his back, Zuko plunged into the darkness. He had the sudden urge to visit Ozai, who was surely rotting away along with the rest of his cell nine floors above ground level. There were so many things he wanted to say—to know. Ever since his last visit to him, Zuko had sworn never to return. What was once a mere reminder of his painful past was now a reminder of something else that haunted him when he slept and every time he looked at Azula…

_He threw one last glance over his shoulder before proceeding. He tried keeping his footfalls as light as possible, but he forgot that the man in the cell was too adjusted to dead silence. Golden eyes were looking up at him as he approached, and Zuko had to stop to observe the changes in his father since his last visit. Ozai's beard had thickened and the dark rings around his eyes were more pronounced. His form was less imposing, now that he had settled into the fate of being a prisoner until his quiet death. _

_But the look in his eyes never changed. Not since that night._

"_The Fire Lord has graced me with his presence once again," Ozai began, spreading his hands. "What an honor."_

"_Spare me the formalities, _Father_," Zuko lowered himself so that he was now eye-to-eye with Ozai. "I'm here to talk about Azula."_

_This caught Ozai's attention, and the former Fire Lord leaned closer, pressing his face against the dirty cell bars. "What about Azula?"_

_Zuko folded his hands, picking his words carefully. "She's escaped."_

_There was a long silence before Ozai spoke. Zuko almost thought his father was dipping his head in remorse until he saw the ugly smile upon his lips. "Well," Ozai said, drawing back with a chuckle, "of course she has."_

"_What?" Zuko looked up at his fallen father, more startled than angered. "How do you know?"_

_Ozai's smile was every bit as poisonous as his daughter's. He curled his fingers around the metal bars and looked long and hard at Zuko, his smile still expertly in place. "You seem to have forgotten, in a span of four years, that Azula is and will always be at least five steps ahead of you. Did you really think she would stay put?"_

"_You know I did!" Zuko whispered, leaning towards Ozai. He left the silence to finish his answer, to speak for him the words he could not bear to say._

"_I know." Ozai laughed, and shook his head. "I knew."_

_In one savage movement, Zuko slammed his palms against the bars that held his father. They shook just as Ozai did, and he scrambled away from Zuko. Father and son stared at each other, one of them fearful and the other maddened with rage._

_Zuko glared at Ozai as sparks flew from his knuckles. "You set me up." He gritted his teeth, baring them in a deep scowl. "You wanted her to be free!"_

"_Did I know she was going to regain control of herself when you began to feel guilty?" Ozai grinned despite himself. "Of course I did. Now, I am glad of two things: one, that my daughter has broken free and two, that my son still listens to me like the fool he is."_

_Zuko shook with rage. "I thought you wanted her to be—safe!"_

"_Away from you!" Ozai snarled, shooting Zuko an accusing glare. "Away from your friends, and the nation you now control. She is better off anywhere else but _near you_. You _poison _her by keeping her locked up like a dragon whose wings have been clipped." _

"_And they will hunt her down!" Zuko gripped the bars and shook them angrily. "How is this any better than staying in the Fire Nation? Tell me!"_

"_Azula is resourceful," Ozai growled, lips curling in disgust, "Unlike you, Fire Lord."_

"_You just wanted her to leave? Nothing else?"_

"_Nothing else like waiting for her to spring me from my prison cell," Ozai clarified snidely with a wave of his hand. "But if she wishes to do so, it will be her own decision entirely. Her freedom is my last gift to her, through you, my boy."_

_Zuko laughed, dropping his hands. "Is this love on your part, Father? That's hard to believe."_

_Ozai hissed, and advanced towards Zuko so quickly he didn't have a chance to back away. Hands seized Zuko by the collar and yanked him forward, until all he could smell was the rot in his father's breath. "Do not mock me, boy. You may be Fire Lord, but you are still my son. I raised you _both._"_

"_You raised _Azula_," Zuko growled, eyes watering. "You never loved me."_

_Ozai let his gaze linger, disdainful. "You're a fool, Zuko." He shoved Zuko away roughly and looked away. "Go find your little sister, boy. Tell her what you did to her, and then you can come back and speak to me about _love_."_

A hiss from the shadows yanked him from his memories. Zuko thought it might have been Ozai until the shrewd voice told him otherwise.

"Who is it? A guard?"

Zuko stood at the doorway, hand fumbling along the uneven feel of stone beside him. Energy returned to him in the form of rage as he formed a fistful of fire in his palm, illuminating the captives in the holding cell before him. One scrambled to the front, his chains jangling noisily in the silence. Fire Nation eyes stared at him in the firelight, and Zuko advanced towards them with killer intent.

"It's Zuko," the firebender whispered, baring his teeth with morbid glee. "Here to finish us off?"

"_Fire Lord _Zuko," Zuko reminded him darkly, and chose to leave the fearful question unanswered. The flames in his palm crackled dangerously. He looked down at the prisoners, and found two earthbenders among them. _Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation… together? Against the Fire Lord? _"Tell me, what's a couple of earthbenders doing with Fire Nation men?"

"We don't need to answer that. Our allegiance is not with him." Another crawled out of the shadows, daring to look Zuko in the eye. "Take that with you back to your palace and sleep well with it."

Zuko grimaced at the thought of his own people betraying him, even at this very moment. "Your lives are in my hands. I could end this now, and hunt down the rest of you." He took a step forward, glaring down at them. "Or I could spare you from certain death. Now answer my question."

"Is it really that strange to see earthbenders mixing with firebenders?" A snort followed right after, coming from the shadows where Zuko's light had not touched. "You should know your Fire Nation colonies still exist within the reaches of the Earth Kingdom, _Fire Lord_. Or have you forgotten all about the rest of your people?"

Zuko drew in a deep breath. "I haven't forgotten. I was to take my people back from the colonies sooner or later."

"Well, well...seems like someone chose 'later'."

Zuko slammed a palm against the bars, and several of the prisoners shook under his rage. "You do realize staging an attack on the palace and attempting kidnap of the Fire Lord's sister alongside Earth Kingdom men means you are traitors?" He looked away from the firebenders, and addressed the earthbenders now. "I can take this as an act of war on the Earth Kingdom's part!"

"Would you really?" one of the earthbenders asked jeeringly. "After all you've done to dethrone Ozai and promise an era of—what was it you said? _Peace _and _love?_" Wretched laughter sprung forth from the shadows, the sound of it making Zuko twitch with rage.

"You think I'll go back on my word?" he asked in a measured tone.

The same man chuckled again. "As far as we see it, Fire Lord, you already have."

Zuko leaned forward, fist clenching and unclenching. "How have I done that?"

"Not openly," another said, voice smoother than silk. "But you know this better than I or any of us here, don't you? How you're forming your ties with the Earth Kingdom through deceit and treachery?"

Zuko tensed, but kept his vigil. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said evenly. "And I want to know why you tried to kill—or kidnap—Azula."

"Kill," another earthbender affirmed. His mouth twisted into an ugly sneer. "Something _you _could never do."

"I have no reason to," Zuko said, frowning down at the earthbender who had spoken. "Her mind is broken. She's—_gone_."

"If that is truly the case, then why is she roaming free?" Green eyes gleaming with accusation stared up at him. "Why has the Fire Lord loosened his reins on the mad sister? Could it be that she's regained her senses? Is she adjusting herself back into the life of the Fire Princess?"

"How is that any of your business?" Zuko barked, losing his patience. "_I'm _the one asking questions here!"

"She has _everything _to do with our 'business', Fire Lord Zuko!" The earthbender sprung from his position, dirty, callused hands gripping the bars before him tightly. "Ozai was deemed harmless because the Avatar took away his firebending, but your sister was left untouched ever since your great Agni Kai. She was to stand trial—but _you _got her out of the way of it by locking her up in that crack house—"

Zuko looked away, heart thumping madly at the earthbender's angry words. _They can't know. They can't know!_

"Why has she been spared? And why is she walking free like she is one of the innocent? One of the _victims _of your father's treachery?" The bars rattled loudly behind him, and Zuko was vaguely aware that the earthbender had gotten to his feet. "You spared her to resurrect the war when you needed to, didn't you? Getting Ozai out of the way was necessary, and now you're making Princess Azula your bloodhound, feeding her drugs so she wouldn't suffer a _relapse_—"

He spun wildly on his heel, facing the earthbender who was barely able to steady himself because of his bound feet. Zuko slammed both fists against the metal bars with such a force that fire sprung forth from his knuckles, and the earthbender fell on his back.

"How dare you!" he bellowed, glaring down at all of them. "Who gave you this information? Tell me!"

"You should look deeper into the men you call your subjects, Fire Lord!" The earthbender who fell over sat upright against the wall, sneering at him. "Even now, the Fire Nation continues to tear itself apart—"

Zuko started in shock. "My own men?"

"Yes, whoever who was privy to your secret crime… he would rather see the country fall than follow a boy go down a path blacker than that of Ozai's!"

Zuko's entire body began to shake as he buried his face in his hands. The maddened laughter of the earthbender rung painfully in his ears, and his head throbbed relentlessly from the sound of it.

He never saw the way the firebenders watched both parties, having slunk back into the shadows, faces set in stone though their eyes shone with satisfaction.

* * *

The moon lit their path back to the village.

Only the soft padding of feet on wet soil and the sighs of light rain filled the silence between them. As they pushed through the trees side by side, Azula could see the lights of the village in the distance. She looked down at her drenched form and then at Toph, knowing full well that they would soon be attracting unwanted attention the moment they stepped back inside.

"What will you tell her?" Azula asked, watching Toph's vacant face carefully.

Toph's shoulders rose and fell in a miniscule shrug. "I'll think of something."

They emerged from the cover of the trees and progressed along a clear path back, out in the open. Azula shivered as the wind swept at her face, but kept her gaze on Toph's countenance. She began to find it increasingly hard to figure out the metalbender's motives. There was hardly a hitch in her breathing or a twitch in her features. It almost seemed as if Toph had finally found a way to be comfortable around Azula.

No one was ever comfortable around her.

"You'll think of something?" Azula frowned. "That's a little vague. And not quite as foolhardy as I'd expected."

She half-expected Toph to bite back with an angry remark, but the girl actually cracked a smile. "I go with the flow. Something I picked up from spending _way_ too much time with Twinkle Toes."

"Well, flow _faster_," Azula said irritably as the village came into view. She squinted for a moment and the sight that greeted her caused the hackles on the back of her neck to stand. There was not a soul in sight, and yet it was more suspicious than if there had been people awaiting their return. Everyone was _inside_, save for a few stray Kyoshi warriors patrolling the streets.

Azula glanced up at the sky. It was still early. She could only assume that the villagers were all safely holed up in their houses because the war criminal in the vicinity was on the loose. She scrunched her nose in disgust at the thought—Earth Kingdom peasants were simply not worth her time.

Maybe except one. She looked left and right, expecting Suki to jump out of the ranks of Kyoshi warriors surrounding them and attack her. They all looked the same with their outrageous makeup.

The Kyoshi warriors didn't touch them as they walked back to the house. All they'd gotten were wary glances. Toph slid the panel and entered first, but Azula lingered for only some seconds longer. She threw one last glance over her shoulder and saw that every warrior's eyes were trained on her. Their hands were resting on the hilts of their katanas and golden fans, as if they were expecting her to strike out at them.

Azula's curled her lips upward into a knowing smile. They were already on high alert, and were planning to keep her in from now on. _We were followed by one of her dogs. _She took all of this in with one cursory glance and entered the warmth of the house, sliding the panel shut with more force than necessary. They were instantly shrouded in darkness, save for the moonlight that filtered in through the window.

Toph was at the far end of the room, rummaging through a chest, and gave no heed to Azula. For the moment.

"We're in trouble," Azula announced in a singsong manner, dropping to her knees on the futon, not caring if she was dirtying and wetting it at the same time. This place was as good as any prison—she might as well start treating it like one.

"You've always been in trouble," Toph jabbed, but not harshly. "Me, on the other hand…"

"Don't even try it." Azula paused in the act of grinning. "You found trouble when you found me."

Toph snorted, throwing a towel in Azula's direction as a response. Azula ran the cloth over her face, wiping away the rainwater with a sigh of relief. With any luck, she wouldn't fall back into a fever again. The inner heat that came with being a firebender was something she had come to appreciate over the years.

A knock at the panel distracted them both, and Azula set her towel down on her lap. Toph sprung to her feet and crossed the length of the room before sliding the panel open. Suki stood at the doorway, looking askance at Toph and then at Azula. She looked away, disdain as clear as day in her eyes, when Azula smiled widely in her direction.

"Toph, can I talk to you for a minute?" Suki asked. "I'll make it quick."

Toph shrugged in response and rolled up her sleeves as she followed the Kyoshi warrior out. The panel slammed shut again, leaving Azula to herself. She counted to ten before placing the towel aside, not caring if it was going to wet the futon, and rose to her feet. She took slow steps towards the low window and peered outside, leaning over so she could see into the outer corridor of the house, through the adjacent window.

Azula retracted when she saw no one there and then scanned the area up ahead for Toph and Suki. Their figures could be easily spotted; while Toph was almost at Suki's height, what made them both distinct was the fact that neither one wore the armored kimonos that the Kyoshi warriors often had on at all times. Silvery glints, bobbing around in the dark, indicated the ones Azula wasn't interested in.

She was almost prepared to hoist herself out over the edge when someone clicked her tongue disapprovingly from behind.

"How many times have I told you it's rude to eavesdrop?"

Azula looked over her shoulder and glared at Ursa, more annoyed than surprised at her sudden appearance. "Well," she began poisonously, "look who decided to drop by."

Ursa folded her hands and walked up to Azula, her red robe dragging across the floor like a pool of blood. She looked past her briefly, golden eyes searching, before her gaze returned to her daughter.

"Who is that girl?" she asked, her previous disapproval at Azula's lack of manners all but forgotten. Azula had to remind herself that it was one of her hallucinations speaking to her and not the real person; Ursa would never know her mind so well, much less begin to understand it.

"You don't have to ask," Azula replied, rolling her eyes. "You already know."

She pressed her hands on the edge of the window, and Ursa drew closer to her. "I wish you wouldn't treat me like this. I'm only trying to know you better, Azula."

"What," Azula shot a sharp glance at her mother, "is the point in such a useless endeavor?"

"I'm your mother," Ursa replied, as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. "Have you never seen me as one?"

"Have you ever seen me as your child?" Azula sneered, looking away. "Or was Zuzu too distracting that you only had eyes for him?" She dipped her head slightly, letting her long hair form a curtain between her and Ursa. She no longer found it odd to be repeating conversations with her mother for days and nights on end, but it didn't mean she began to find it less annoying over time. She hoisted herself onto the ledge, just as Ursa retorted with that sickening, depressed lilt in her voice.

"You never gave me a chance. Unless I forced you, you'd always spend time with your father. But you can only train so much in a day."

Azula froze in her movements, insides knotting uncomfortably at her mother's words. It wasn't surprising that her hallucinations often knew more about her than the real ones ever would, but they rarely went near the boundaries Azula had put into place.

"What are you implying?" she asked through gritted teeth. But when she turned to face Ursa, she was greeted emptiness. She was alone again. A sour smile formed itself on her lips. "Coward."

She reared herself up to her full height and started walking in the direction which Suki and Toph had taken off, ignoring the ugly images that threatened to surface in her mind's eye.

* * *

"What are you saying?" Toph stepped back, drawing away from Suki. "That I'm betraying my friends so I can make kissy faces with Azula in the shadows?" The muscles in her jaws twitched and jumped as she waited for Suki's response.

"Don't put words in my mouth," Suki said shortly. While she was never one to lose her temper outwardly, Toph could still sense the undercurrent of anger laced with the Kyoshi warrior's every word. "I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just trying to understand why you'd let yourself get involved with Azula like this. It's not as if you don't know who she is or what she's done."

"Of course I do." Toph started to pick at a loose thread hanging off her tunic for the lack of anything better to do. She never did well standing still, much less quietly at that. She continued after a moment's silence, picking her word as carefully as she was picking at the string. "I'm not doing this to try and hurt anyone. You know that."

"So tell me," Suki prodded. Toph could hear her footsteps more clearly as Suki approached her. "Tell me why this is happening to you."

Toph wrinkled her nose, annoyed. There really wasn't a good explanation for something like this, and yet she knew Suki would not let her go until she managed to squeeze Toph dry of all the exact details. She cleared her throat, if only to fill the silence a while longer.

"You know," Suki began again, sounding less pleased than before (not that she was even remotely happy to begin with), "If you're not going to think about how this is worrying me and the rest of your _friends_," Suki dragged the word out for emphasis, "can you at least try and see how this is going to end badly for you? This isn't some random girl from the Fire Nation we're talking about—this is _Azula_, a war criminal with enough blood on her hands to earn her a hundred executions! She destroys everything she can get her hands on without a second thought. How does that not drive you away?"

"I know that!" Toph snapped, dropping her hands to her sides and clenching her fists. "Don't take this the wrong way, Suki, but you don't exactly know everything about her!"

"And you do?" Suki challenged, raising her voice.

"You weren't there!"

Suki said nothing at this outburst, and Toph went on. "You weren't there," she repeated a little more calmly, "when I found her. Okay? You didn't—get to see how she…_broke _herself." Toph paused, sucking in a deep breath to calm her own nerves. "It was like she didn't know there was anyone else around…only herself. And whatever she was seeing."

"So you felt sorry? You took pity on her, and then you decided it was okay to—" Suki left her sentence unfinished, and Toph could not blame her.

"It's not like that," she argued weakly, shaking her head. "You don't get it."

"That's not good enough," Suki said. She hissed, perhaps in frustration, the sound of it no more than a sharp rush of air that cut right through the still air between them. "This is absurd, Toph. Are you even listening to yourself? You're trying to defend a _killer_, someone who's tried to kill _all_ your friends at one point or another during the war…expecting me—_us_—to stand by and watch it happen while pretending we don't give a damn!"

"I'm not defending her!" Toph said, feeling her patience wearing out, pausing only to expel her anger in short, heated breaths. "I know—okay? I remember _everything _she did—to you, to Sparky and to Twinkle Toes. I can't forgive her for hurting you guys and I probably never will but—" She stopped abruptly midsentence as words stalled on her and the memory of Azula, crying and broken, jammed the gears in her mind.

"But what?"

Toph felt her mouth tug at the corners, forming a scowl that matched the frustration bubbling inside her. She crossed her arms over her chest tightly, trying to shake off the fog that clouded her mind. Azula waited, it seemed, in every corner of her mind, latching onto her thoughts like a leech with no intention of letting go—

"But you don't know. You just don't know enough!" Toph barked, settling for this reply when all other words continued to fail her. She turned away from Suki, though it made no difference to her.

"I know enough to tell you that you're exposing yourself to danger. She's crazy, Toph. Who knows what she'll do to you?" Suki paused in the act of catching her breath. She sidled up to Toph's right side and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her grip was firm, yet there was an attribute of gentleness in that strength. "Haven't you considered the fact that she might be drawing you in, only to try and hurt you at the end just because she can?"

"I know exactly what she wants from me." Toph sniffed, resisting the urge to shake Suki's hand off. "And you're nowhere near getting it right."

"So you just believe her," Suki said, not even trying to hide her astonishment. "Just like that, because you _feel _like she's telling the truth. Is that what you're saying?"

"I'm not looking for anyone's approval," Toph growled. "I know what I'm doing. I can take care of myself."

"I'm not sure I should take your word for it." Suki's hand fell from her shoulder. "She's not a good person, Toph. Even if she wasn't crazy, she's still evil. She hurts people—she doesn't _love_. I'm beginning to think she doesn't know how."

"I didn't say she loved me," Toph said shortly. It stung to admit that piece of truth, that Azula probably didn't have any romantic feelings for her, but Toph wouldn't leave any doors open for wishful thinking. She knew what she was doing, after all, and wanted to make certain that others knew it too.

Suki laughed breathlessly, and Toph heard the sound of palm meeting forehead. "You've got to be kidding me. This doesn't even sound like a proper relationship. What on earth were you thinking?"

Toph stiffened at Suki's words. "You don't know anything." She knew she was repeating this, and it was beginning to sound less effective every time she did, but Toph could find no other words to form a better argument. She was suddenly seized with the urge to run away, something so unbecoming of an earthbender that it left a bad taste in her mouth.

"You don't either!" Suki said harshly. "What did she offer you? What did she give you in exchange for so much trust? She doesn't even need to love you to make you love her back—"

"I never said I loved her."

"What? So this is…just some fling? Is that it?"

Pain startled Toph, and she realized her nails had broken the skin on her palms. She thinned her lips, thinking of the markings on her back left by Azula's fingernails. Broken skin was something she had gotten used to by the time they fell into a routine—_enter, touch her, kiss her, memorize the valleys of her collarbones and the sound of her sighs and then leave_—but it didn't mean she appreciated the reminder of her less than gentle nights with the former princess.

Especially not at a time like this.

Toph snapped back to attention when she remembered where she was and what she was doing, cursing herself mentally for allowing her thoughts to wander so wildly and so far.

"Whatever you say." Toph shrugged, stunning Suki into silence. She decided it was best to leave now, and quickly turned on her heels. She'd barely taken three steps when Suki's voice reached her.

"You think running away will work?" Suki sounded almost genuinely shocked. "What do you take us for, Toph? If you think we're going to just let Azula wrap you around her finger then you've got another thing coming." Toph didn't realize the girl had already caught up to her until she walked right into Suki's outstretched arm. "I'm not letting this go."

Toph could only respond with a shrug. "We're done here."

"No, we're not."

"We're _done_." Toph slapped Suki's hand out of the way. "You've said your piece. I've said mine. Out of the way, Suki."

Suki let her pass, but that didn't guarantee her silence. "What are you going to do when she's gone, Toph?"

Toph frowned, slightly confused at the sudden question. She had to stop when curiosity got the better of her. "What are you talking about?"

"Kyoshi Island is affiliated with the Earth Kingdom," Suki said stiffly. And then her voice dropped into a low whisper, though it might not have made much of a difference if she chose to scream it out. "Even if I made my warriors swear not to contact Ba Sing Se and send word, what makes you think the villagers are planning to stay silent on your account?"

The revelation seemed to punch Toph right in the gut. _Shit._

She'd forgotten all about that damn contract.

* * *

Azula slipped back in, through the low window, before Toph entered through the front. She sauntered over to the low table propped against the wall and lit the candle with one slender finger, barely flinching at the great impact of the panel sliding shut. The floorboard creaked noisily as Toph crossed the room in heavy steps. Azula turned, startled to find Toph's skin as cold as ice when the back of their hands brushed against each other's. She whipped out her hand at the last moment, catching Toph's wrist.

She tried not to think about what she'd overheard, but it was as hard as staying away from the metalbender in her grip.

"Let go," Toph said, though all she had to offer as resistance was a twitch of her hand.

"Don't fight me." Azula pulled her close, snaking one arm around her waist. "It's not wise to do so."

Toph's lips drew back into a scowl. Even in the absence of light, Azula could still see her eyes. Like the conversation she overheard, the despair and anger were still fresh in Toph's green pools; smoldering embers that drew Azula deeper, like firebenders to the sun. She lifted a hand to Toph's chin and raised her head, as if wanting to get a better look. It almost hurt to stare, for some obscure reason, and Azula crushed her lips against Toph's with too much force, as if she hoped it would be enough to chase the haunting sorrow from her face.

As if it could put a stopper to the fear that was rising inside her.

Hands shot up to her shoulders, and then around the back of her neck into a tight lock. Toph's skin seemed to burn against hers from the heated kiss, until Azula drew back and saw the tears streaming down her pale face. She instinctively grew rigid at the sight, though her fingers trembled against the wet skin and hot tears that rolled down. Her mouth continued to hang open, and she was barely aware that she had to say something. But words were stalled, just as the movement in her limbs had been.

Then the gears in her body kicked back into action, just as Toph choked loudly on an oncoming sob.

And then Azula brought her hand to the back of Toph's head, fingers sinking into her hair and pushing her head into the curve of her shoulder. She was dismayed to find that it made things worse; Toph's body began to tremble more violently, a mini earthquake that seemed to rattle Azula's very bones. And she held Toph until her spasms died down, and her erratic breathing subsided into a calmer rhythm.

She couldn't help but think that it wasn't Toph who should be crying at this point. Death was coming to knock on her door, and yet to an unknowing outsider, it would seem as if the one who was going to be put to death was Toph and not Azula.

She closed her eyes, thinking wildly of Ty Lee and the crying fits she had so often seen in her childhood. She followed her memories closely, handling a crying girl the only way she could remember. Azula gently pushed Toph off her, and brought her hands up to her tear-streaked face.

"Look at you," she crooned softly, as if she were singing a lullaby instead of speaking. "Breaking the rules…all for me. And this is what you get."

She dragged her thumb downwards, wiping that spot completely dry. A lone tear slid out of the corner of Toph's eye as she blinked at the gesture, and Azula had the maddest urge to chase it with her lips and erase it from existence. There was something about human weakness that penetrated her like an icy stake to the heart, and she shuddered physically at the thought of it.

"How the hell—" Toph choked, grabbing a fistful of the fabric of her robe, "How the hell can you stay so calm when you know they're coming for you?"

Azula inclined her head. "Well, it's not like I didn't see it coming. Luck was never on my side." She let her hands fall to her sides, suddenly uncomfortable with being so close and stepped away. She treaded on the floorboard carefully, barely making a sound as she advanced towards the futon and sank down onto it. Accusing whispers reached her ears, coming from the corner of the room where the shadows were thickest.

_She brought you here…to die. She knew this would happen. She knew!_

She believed it only for a moment, but her curiosity remained, gnawing at her until she decided to sate it.

"Did you know?" she asked. "Did you know this would happen?"

Toph looked discomfited and absolutely awkward standing by herself. Azula distractedly thought about how incomplete she looked, surrounded by open space and shadows that looked like they wanted to devour her. But she kept herself where she was, determined not to move until she got the answers she was seeking.

"I—there was a contract signed by Sparky," Toph shuffled her feet, "with King Kuei and the Water Tribe chiefs. It kept you safe from the trials."

"Safe," Azula repeated with a sneer. The thought that Zuko wanted to keep her safe by signing on a piece of paper was as absurd as it was hilarious. "How did it keep me…safe?"

"As long as the doc said you were still crazy," Toph paused momentarily and winced, as if she regretted her words, "no one could make you stand trial and get sentenced."

It was irony at its best. The very thing that threatened to drive her to suicide was the only tool that could protect her from civil justice. She was caught between the desire to laugh at herself and deliver herself to the doorstep of King Kuei, just to see the look on her brother's face when he found out his own plan had backfired. Insanity would drive Azula to her own death, one way or another.

"But it didn't work, did it?" Toph growled, eyes flashing with anger, even in the dark. "You had to get off your ass and let yourself loose. Look at all the good it's done you."

"Well, I met you, didn't I?" Azula said offhandedly. She'd meant it as a joke, but Toph seemed to take this seriously. She bounded towards Azula, hands reaching out to her face and kissed her with so much force that Azula stumbled back in shock and nearly fell over the low table behind her.

"Easy," Azula said, tone full of mock warning. "Wouldn't want injure me before my execution, now, would you?"

She'd also meant that as a joke, but somehow, the words had come out considerably harsher than expected. But it wasn't as though Azula cared. It was just her conscience kicking into action after witnessing the usually hardheaded and strong earthbender break down in tears before her very eyes. Which was why she was thankful when Toph responded with anger instead of full on hysteria and grabbed her so forcibly that Azula had to shiver at her sheer strength and the thought of bruises being left behind.

It was only right. Azula had marked Toph as hers so many times before; it was only right that she should be paid back in kind.

"You shouldn't joke about things like that," Toph said in a low hiss. "Are you crazy?"

"Yes," Azula responded with a lazy drawl, though Toph's reaction delighted her to no end. "Don't worry. Didn't you say that as long as I remained my usual, mad self…I'd get to keep my head?"

Toph blinked and in an instant, her anger faded. "You don't understand. There were strings attached."

"Strings," Azula parroted, eyes widening. "So they _do_ know how to play."

Toph overlooked her remark and went on. "They said you'd stay out of the court only if the doctors said you weren't fit to, and if you kept to the rules they made. You can't kill, can't do anything bad, can't leave the asylum," Toph glared to emphasize her point, "and you can't leave the Fire Nation unless given permission by the Fire Lord. So you've technically broken all the rules."

"All but one." Azula grinned. "I'm still certified insane, aren't I?"

"You think they're gonna believe it when they see you without your chains?" Toph narrowed her eyes.

"I don't need chains to look crazy." Azula rolled her eyes. "If only you could see me now."

Toph released Azula from her steel grip, curling her lips in disapproval. "Don't be an ass."

"You like me no matter how I choose to present myself. Why should I bother?"

Azula didn't miss the upward twitch at the corner of Toph's mouth. She smirked, winding her arms around Toph's neck and pulling her in so their lips could meet halfway. Azula was aware that she shouldn't be so relaxed in the face of impending danger, but it felt almost natural to be at ease around Toph. She guessed she might be pushing limits to assume that Toph would stop the ax that would soon fall on her neck, but there was no harm in indulging in one last fantasy.

* * *

"I can't believe they'd just stage an attack on the Fire Palace like that." Aang paced back and forth, hands clasped behind his back. "And what did they want? Did anyone find out?"

"No," Mai shook her head, "but Zuko went back to the prison about an hour ago. I'm assuming he still thinks he can get something out of them."

Aang frowned, knowing it wasn't a good sign that Zuko had chosen to return to the city prison on his own. He turned away from Katara and Mai, hiding his growing suspicions from them as they discussed the matter of the attackers behind him.

"Aang? What's wrong?"

He spun and faced Katara with a smile, straining to keep up his pretense. "Nothing, sweetie." He leaped into the air and landed gently on the edge of the bed beside her, and took her by the hand. "I'm just a little tired, that's all."

Katara took the bait and squeezed his hand, shaking her head. "I know you're the Avatar and you have a duty to this world," she said, her concern a faint light in her blue eyes, "but you need to take a break, too."

"I know that," Aang looked from Katara to Mai. "I'm fine, really."

Mai didn't seem to believe him, if the tilt of her lips was any indication. The Fire Lady crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the high backrest of her chair. "In the mean time," her glassy gaze flicked away, "we need to do something about Azula. I don't think putting her on Kyoshi Island will work out in the long run."

Katara glanced at the pensive Fire Lady. "Because it's part of Earth Kingdom territory?"

"Right," Mai nodded assertively. "It's not neutral space, and if the Earth King hears about this…"

"Or even any of the Five," Aang chimed in, the gears in his mind beginning to whir.

Out of the surviving nations, the Earth Kingdom was the country that held a weaker tie to the Fire Nation. While the Water Tribes suffered losses from the war, the Earth Kingdom had ultimately lost more. The siege led by General Iroh almost saw to the fall of Ba Sing Se, and if Prince Lu Ten hadn't died, the Earth Kingdom would have crumbled at the hands of the Fire Nation. There was still much to be bitter about, much more than the Water Tribes would ever have. Aang rubbed his temples wearily at the thought of it.

"They'll probably twist this entire situation in some way and label it as an act of war on Zuko's part as Fire Lord." Mai's eyes suddenly flashed with anger—or was it fear that Aang saw? "They'll jump at any chance to persecute Zuko and his country along with him. Azula isn't safe, not as long as she remains on the island."

Aang knew Mai was more concerned for Zuko than for Azula, but he withheld his opinion on the matter. Even if she hadn't been born royalty, Mai looked like she was made for the role of Fire Lady. She carried herself with a poise and elegance that matched Azula's, and often commanded attention without even lifting a finger. There was much to fear about someone like her, even if she wasn't Azula.

"The Earth King might force Zuko to make Azula stand trial," Katara said distractedly, looking away, "won't he?"

"Not _might_." Mai leaned forward. "He _will_. So we can't assume Azula might not die at the end of the day. If she stood trial…well, it isn't hard to figure out what her sentence might be."

"Death." Katara folded her hands neatly in her lap, and stared down at them. Then she looked up, straight at Mai, with an unreadable expression. "Does Zuko know this?"

"He knows," Mai inclined her head, bringing a hand to her forehead wearily, "but he seems to think that it'll somehow disappear if he ignores it long enough. He still thinks Azula has immunity from the trials."

"Which she does," Aang looked at Mai, frowning. "You're talking about the agreement he made with the Earth King and General How right after the war, right? Azula can't stand trial because she isn't mentally stable and this will only change when the doctors release her from the asylum with a medical statement declaring she's sane." He tilted his head in confusion at Mai's words. "As far as I know, it's still in effect. You say that as though their agreement is no longer valid."

"Well, that's the problem here, isn't it?" Mai stared down at the ground. "It no longer is."

"What?" Katara snapped to attention. "What do you mean it's no longer in effect?"

"Kuei and How agreed to this, and so did Chief Arnook and Katara's father! They were present at the signing, and so was I! All of us were!" Aang rose to his feet. "When did this happen? Did the doctors reveal anything to you and Zuko?"

Mai raised a hand to stop his agitated babble. "You forgot the terms on which this agreement stands on, Aang."

"There were…four conditions," Katara said slowly, looking at Aang. "I remember."

Aang composed himself and began to pace up and down, reciting the terms as he recalled them. "'The former Princess Azula will be withheld from the trials as long as she is not professionally examined and deemed mentally sound at any point in time.'" He stopped, and only continued when Mai nodded at him. "'She will also be withheld from the trials so long as she does not commit any additional crimes, ranging from theft to murder or the undermining of a kingdom. She will not be held liable for past crimes if she remains on Fire Nation soil—'"

Aang paused in his tracks. Katara looked just as shocked as he felt when he realized where this was heading. He turned to Mai, who only looked resigned at this point. "Wait a minute—"

Mai shook her head. "Let me continue. 'She will not be held liable for past crimes if she remains on Fire Nation soil and also if she remains in the mental facility for the duration of her stay as prescribed by professional doctors. She must not openly defy the orders of the Fire Lord and abide by these conditions, or else this agreement to grant immunity shall be immediately annulled.'" Mai pursed her lips, letting the words sink in.

Aang sat back down beside Katara with a forceful landing, frowning. "That means…"

"If the Earth Kingdom or Water Tribes hear about this, Azula's dead." Mai's lips drew into a scowl. "You should have considered this carefully before dumping her on the shores of Kyoshi Island. Like you said, _all _of you were present when this agreement was made."

"Spirits," Katara whispered sharply, bringing a hand to her mouth. "We have to go to Kyoshi Island. Now."

"Now?" Aang shook his head. "I don't understand, Katara, why—"

"Azula might be gone if we wait any longer." Katara strode towards the door in large steps, brushing past a bewildered Mai. Aang caught her by the wrist just as her hand neared the door, and he spun the waterbender around so she faced him completely.

"I don't understand," he repeated. "What's going on, Katara? How do you know Azula won't be there?"

Katara's eyes narrowed, gleaming clearly with agitation. Aang knew better than to think she was angry with him for trying to get an explanation out of her so he waited, unblinkingly.

"I know she'll be gone," Katara said in a clipped voice, "because Toph has feelings for her."

Aang barely had time to get over his initial shock as the door swung open, revealing a very flustered soldier standing at the doorway, clutching a letter. Mai shot up from her chair at the sight of him.

"F-Fire Lady Mai," the soldier said, trembling slightly, "I have a letter addressed to the Fire Lord."

Mai held out her hand for the letter. "Who sent it?"

"General How of the Earth Kingdom." The soldier bowed and left at Mai's short nod.

Aang watched with bated breath as Mai scanned the contents of the letter. "What is it?"

Mai sighed and handed the letter to him.

"They've found out about Azula."

* * *

_Ozai's hand was strong and callused. She knew he held the strength to crush her like a leaf if he wanted to, but she also knew he wouldn't do anything like that. Not to her. Not yet. She lay still, watching him with a guarded gaze as his golden eyes met hers and his lips twisted into a pleased smirk._

"_So much awaits you, my daughter," he told her with a glint in his eyes. "I am glad you are so willing to learn."_

_She wanted to answer, to tell him she was just as glad even if it was a lie, but no words came as his hand traveled up her calf. _

_"You would have gotten it all, too," he added with a faint hint of regret in his eyes, "if you hadn't dirtied yourself with the likes of that little earthbender. You should have listened when you had the chance."_

_"What?" she heard herself croak. Her eyes widened in horror as a dragon reared its head over her father's shoulder, baring its fangs at her with a poisonous stare. "No, wait__—_"

_Ozai sighed heavily, his breath as hot as the flame of any master firebender. "I'm afraid you must be punished."_

_He ignored her protests as his hand wandered higher, along her thigh and up her—_

She awoke with a scream. Arms instantly curled around her in a tight embrace, but it did nothing to curb her hysteria. The dragon was waiting for her in the shadows, its yellow eyes so much like her father's.

"Princess, you will listen to _me_," it growled, the multicolored fire springing forth from its jaws; a terrifying continuation of her nightmare. And then something peculiar happened. Its eyes turned soft, almost pleading, as it reared its head before her. But the moment was short lived; the dragon seemed to shift and morph before her very eyes, only to reassemble into the same thing.

Then it started snapping its jaws at her feet.

Azula's eyes widened in horror and she began to kick and writhe against Toph's hold on her, barely hearing the assurances coming from the lips of the metalbender. She screamed until she was hoarse, and even then she still kept up her fight and struggled to break free.

"Stop it," Toph said. The only indication that she was on Azula's side was the alarm in her voice. "Stop it and look at me—just look at me—"

Azula glanced at Toph, and remembered how to breathe again.

"Get me out of here," she pleaded, pulling at Toph's tunic with jerky movements. "Take me away. I want to forget—I want to forget…" She began to chant her wish in half-sobs. She buried her face in the curve of Toph's shoulder until she felt herself being shifted onto someone's back and lifted up.

The cold night breeze greeted her with a hollow hum as she emerged out into the open. She rested her head on Toph's shoulder, falling silent only when she realized she was out of the house and far from the beast behind.

"Where are we going?" she whispered, as if afraid of attracting the dragon towards her if she made too much noise.

"I don't know." Toph's voice was shaky, but the steps she took were firm. Determined. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere." Azula wound her arms around Toph's neck, though not tightly enough to suffocate. "Take me anywhere."

"You trust me that much?"

Azula trembled in the coolness of the night and the aftershock of her dream and hallucination. Only the warmth from Toph's body kept her conscious. She pursed her lips in contemplation. But as she looked up at the winding path ahead, leading to absolutely nowhere at all, Azula no longer found the need to think of or construct a believable answer.

And for the first time, telling the truth came as easily as lying.

"With my life."


	16. A Matter of Loyalty

A/N: (edit, 26/11) This is going to be pretty long, so move along if you think you don't need to read it.

So I see some of you have beef with this story. I'm just going to address one of the two, since I don't quite know how to answer to "no. just no"... So, to this reader who I can't even reach that I now have to put this here before the start of this chapter - this is for you.

I'm pretty sure most if not all of you have noticed the sudden inclusion of sexual abuse. I think most of you are uncomfortable with this - as any normal person would be, even me - and I can totally understand why you'd cringe and shudder all day long at it. Despite my lack of explanation, I foolishly assumed that you guys would hold out until I gave you a proper answer in the later chapters. Or maybe I'd put in an author's note like this one, but I didn't. I'm thinking now that maybe I should have, to alleviate your concerns and stuff like that.

Anyway, sexual abuse. Yes.

If you've realized, that bit seemed out of place and totally random, like a wild Rattata in tall grass that took us all by surprise. Only this isn't a Pokemon relevant to your collection. Which is to say that it has nothing and everything to do with this story.

Please realize at this point that the sexual abuse with Ozai never happened. I was going to address this further in the later chapters, where a character will attempt to get through to Azula (again) - no bonus points for guessing who it is because I have about the subtlety of a rhino sometimes - and he/she will discover that's something totally off about our leading character. And no - the conclusion isn't that she's totally lost it and needs to be stuck in that asylum for the rest of her life. That was never my intention.

I suppose it's my fault for not telling you guys this earlier, but it is not my fault if you chose to stop reading and - on top of that - give me no chance whatsoever to explain myself. I actually do interact with people on this site that leave me reviews, even if I seem like some Tophzula-churning robot most of the time. I've spoken to some of you guys, discussed whatever it is you've pointed out and taken great advice from some. I would have liked if you weren't anonymous.

I respect your decision to stop, because that means you've got a great moral compass and also pretty intelligent because yeah - canon never implied sexual abuse (probably because it aired on Nickelodeon, a channel made for KIDS). Well, canon never implied incest either (and yet we see Zucest fics here once in a while, like Dominion by Aurelia le). I don't support incest and I most certainly do not support sexual abuse, and I never intended to take this story in that direction. Tophzula is traumatic enough, hee. :P

**Tl;dr** - No sexual abuse. Be cool. Totally didn't mean to ruin your groove.

* * *

**16**

He was surrounded by ice and fire; the air around him was constantly rippling.

Steam reached up into the air with loud hisses as the elements clashed. Nilak strained his eyes to find the firebenders that were attacking, but found nothing but the thick haze of steam and snow all mixed into one. He stepped back heavily onto the snow as the winds began to shift before him, and he had to squint so the snow and ice would not enter his eyes.

He was caught up in the loud, eerie howl of the wind when a hand grabbed him by the hood of his parka and yanked him—away from the line of fire of the Fire Nation soldiers that had emerged out of nowhere. His first thought was that one of them had gotten him; his hands shot up, palms turned outward, and icy stakes emerged from beneath them.

Nilak turned so suddenly that his assailant lost his grip and he almost attacked when pale blue eyes greeted him. _Those eyes_, he thought, blinking at the young tribesman standing before him. He couldn't have been older than eighteen; his lanky form was all but an indicator of his youth. His high cheekbones, bright eyes and that long black hair, tied into a high ponytail—

"Kin?" Nilak managed to stumble out, before the young man pushed him aside and deflected the wall of flame that rushed towards them with a simple swipe of his hand. Water came to their defense, from the snow beneath their feet, and the fire evaporated with a loud hiss.

The thick fog of steam was enough cover for the firebenders to launch a surprise attack, though it seemed the young waterbender had been expecting them first. Nilak watched, transfixed on the man, as he moved with such gracefulness, the kind he hadn't seen in any waterbender except the woman he married.

And then, the waterbender brought up a giant wall of ice, just as flames sailed dangerously close to his face. He leaped away at the last moment, and observed his handiwork from afar as everything went silent. The heavy winds had died along with the mysterious firebenders. Nilak moved towards the young man, still unsure, but reached out a hand to clap him on the shoulder.

The man spun wildly on his feet at the physical contact and pulled Nilak into a bone-crushing hug. Then he began trembling, and Nilak realized he was laughing—and also crying, as he pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"Dad," the tribesman spoke, the deep timbre of his voice not unlike Nilak's. "It's me!" His blue eyes twinkled with tears and laughter, and Nilak numbly raised a hand to touch the man's face.

"Kinaktok?" he murmured. His vision blurred as he took in the sight of his son—not quite like the last time he'd seen him, but still undeniably the boy himself. It was surreal, and he touched Kinaktok's face with a gentleness that was laced with fear—that he might just disappear if he wasn't careful.

"What are you doing here?" Nilak asked. He couldn't phrase the question any other way—how was someone supposed to ask their child why they weren't dead when they were supposed to be? He looked up and down at his son, puzzlement crossing his features. "You look…different."

Kinaktok blinked and then looked down at himself. Looked down at his half-scorched parka, and his boots blackened with ash and soot. Then he raised his eyes and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, that. I've got a lot of explaining to do. But first…" He pulled Nilak into another firm hug. "I've missed you, Dad."

"So have…so have I," Nilak replied dumbly, though he returned the hug with equal fervor. Though he was sharply aware that none of this was real. He pulled away again, and held his son's youthful face in his hands. "This is...I never thought I'd see you again."

"I didn't think I would too." Kinaktok shrugged. Then his eyes flickered past Nilak's face, fixing on something behind him. "But…I don't have much time. So we have to hurry."

"This is the spirit world, isn't it?" _Say no._

Nilak deflated when Kinaktok nodded. _Well, it could be worse._ "I don't know why they sent me. I guess they thought I'd catch your attention a little easier, though Mom would have been the better choice—"

"Where is she?" Nilak looked around, searching the endless dunes of snow that seemed to stretch on forever in all directions. "Can I…see her?" He turned back to face his son, with an apprehension that made his stomach churn.

"I'm sorry," Kinaktok shook his head, "but you can't see Mom right now. Not the time. She misses you, though. She watches over you all the time." Then, he beamed. "Like me."

Nilak smiled, tears forming rapidly again. "I'm glad to hear it."

"So it shouldn't come as a surprise when I tell you that I know all about Azula. Actually, she's the reason why I'm here."

"Azula? What do _spirits_ want with her?"

Kinaktok sighed heavily, shaking his head in remembrance of something. "Well…it's kind of complicated. You see, spirits…they don't usually interfere. Not _this _directly. When they do," he met Nilak's eyes again, "it's important." He went on when Nilak waited silently in response, "They think Azula's not getting back on the right path when she should be. Her _intended _path."

Nilak nodded. "But we all know that."

"Right. But the thing is, there's little to no progress. No _improvement_." Kinaktok eyed Nilak carefully. "It's not _normal_. It's bigger than, well, being insane. Something is stifling that progress. Won't let her move on. I can't tell you more—I'm not allowed to," his gaze turned into one of apology, and he smiled slightly, "but I _am _allowed to tell you that you have to be there for her."

"Why is it...me?" Nilak thought of General Iroh, the man who should be closer to a father figure to Azula than anyone else. _He was Zuko's. She is no different._

"She doesn't have history with you. Everyone else, well..." Kinaktok shrugged. "She'll never let them in. Most of them," he added with a knowing smile. "That, and she knows you care, even if she finds it a little overwhelming."

"I think 'annoying' should be the word here," Nilak said.

Kinaktok laughed. "Well, I didn't want to tell you that. But seriously, it's better she finds you absolutely annoying than be indifferent towards you. It means she knows you're trying, and she feels it."

Nilak smiled wistfully. "She thinks I'm using her to replace you."

"That's just an excuse." Kinaktok chuckled. "People make excuses when they're unsure. Or afraid."

"I'm aware of that, but the accusation is still wounding."

"Don't worry about it—"

Something diverted Kinaktok's attention briefly, and he looked past Nilak's face again. This time, Nilak looked over his own shoulder, but found nothing there.

"I have to go. And you need to go, too. She'll be gone when you wake up."

Nilak turned back to Kinaktok, who only looked too reluctant to go. But the young waterbender stepped away anyway, a wistful look in his eyes.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Kinaktok smiled, a nonverbal promise that it would come true. "Just remember what I said."

"Kin—" Nilak trailed off abruptly, suddenly at a loss for words. Kinaktok turned around, blue eyes lighting up at the mention of his old nickname. Nilak fumbled for words, just as he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. "Why do you—look like this? You never…"

"I never grew up before I died," Kinaktok nodded solemnly, as if grieving himself. Then his sorrow was forgotten, replaced by a smile that Nilak would keep until he saw him again. "Well, this is the spirit world. It is…largely different from your world. See how the firebenders just went away?"

Nilak blinked. Spirits never attacked the living, unless they were malicious ones. And yet, Kinaktok was not one of them. He even _protected _his father. "Where did they come from?"

Kinaktok inclined his head, and something softened in his kind eyes.

"You should stop thinking about that day, Dad. You don't need our forgiveness." Kinaktok turned around, and threw a languid wave over his shoulder. "You need your own."

And then something yanked him by the hood of his parka again, the way his son did, so unceremoniously that Nilak thought the spirits had to be enjoying at least one bit of this. He closed his eyes as the snowstorm came back to life with a vengeance, and shielded his face with one arm until—

His eyes flew open automatically when he heard the bison's call in the distance.

He slipped on his boots and thick parka, his movements made heavy from the deep slumber, just as he caught the sound of Aang's voice on the outside. He bounded towards the door in three large steps and emerged in the outer corridor.

"Aang! Katara!"

The duo stopped in their tracks, seemingly shocked that he would be up at this hour. His old injuries prickled with slight strain, but he pushed on and walked up to them.

"I'm coming with you," Nilak said briskly. When Katara opened her mouth to ask him why, he put up a hand to stop her. "I know Azula's left Kyoshi Island."

Aang seemed to decide it would be a waste of time to ask him how he got this piece of information, and elected to nod in the direction they were headed.

"Alright. If we hurry, we can still pick up their trail."

"That's what I'm hoping," muttered Nilak as he followed after Katara and Aang, still thinking about Kinaktok's smile spurring him on from the depths of his mind.

* * *

Zuko was surprised to find Mai, very much awake, when he came back. He closed the door behind him, facing his back to her for as long as he could. His mind was still reeling from the conversation he had with the captives in the cell, though he had no desire to share any of it with his wife. Even without saying a word or even looking at him, Mai still managed to exude an aura of thinly veiled anger. Paranoia seeped into his mind like a disease, though he would not act on it.

_She doesn't know._

"I thought you'd be asleep by now," he said, taking slow steps towards her.

"I wish I could." Mai sighed, eyes flicking away. Zuko relaxed. _She doesn't know_. "You're going to want to see this, Zuko."

She pulled out the letter from her sleeve and offered it to Zuko. He knew immediately that it bore bad news before he read it; the seal of the Earth Kingdom glared at him accusingly in the firelight. He swallowed, and took the letter from Mai. Opening it with shaky hands, Zuko braced himself for the worst. He'd been expecting this day, after all, ever since Azula escaped.

Just like Ozai had been.

And it seemed the Earth King, or his loyal subjects, had been prepared for this as well. Zuko scanned and rescanned the contents of the letter, unable to believe his eyes. "What is this?"

"You tell me." Mai looked resigned at this point. "Something smells, Zuko. It's too well timed. This letter was delayed."

Zuko looked down at the letter again.

_It has come to my attention that the alleged war criminal, former Fire Princess Azula, has broken free of her bonds against your will a week ago. The Earth King has not issued the order for an official investigation into the Fire Lord's part in this regretful mishap, but I feel obliged as the leader of the Council to remind you of our agreement made at the end of the war. _

_The former princess has been kept from the courts and away from the trials on the account that our conditions are met. While I am not led to believe that your sister is fully healed and brought into the right state of mind just yet, I must remind you to think of the other terms bound to our treaty, though I am sure you remember. She has stepped past the boundaries, and as a supporter of the new era we are slowly moving into, I feel that I must act accordingly if we are to keep to the promise of our vision._

_As it stands, the Earth King is granting you a period of no less than thirty days to retrieve Azula and ensure she is back in the custody of the Fire Nation and resuming treatment at the mental facility. The count begins the day you receive this letter, and I hope to receive your favorable reply._

_If exceeded or deliberately ignored, the Earth King reserves the right to act on his own accord and subject the former princess to the trials in Earth Kingdom courts. I must remind you that if that is the case, your sister will not leave the court with anything less than an immediate death sentence-_

"This was supposed to reach me a month ago!" Zuko crushed the letter in his hand. "And now Azula is nowhere near the Fire Nation—"

"There's only one explanation for this. We have a traitor amongst us." Mai looked up at him sharply. "You have to weed him out, whoever he is. Or perhaps there's more than one. I don't know. But I don't like how things are turning out."

"You can say that again," Zuko said wearily, falling into the chair beside Mai. He brought a hand to his face and rubbed furiously. "They must think I chose to ignore this and did whatever I wanted. The Earth Kingdom is probably after now. So many people are after her."

"Can you blame them?" Mai's voice was deadly quiet. It was worse than if she chose to sound _angry_. "But your concern is not the Earth King or any of that. Not right now. Now we know there is a bug amongst us, here in the palace. You have to figure out who he is."

"I talk to the generals the most," Zuko said, smoothing the hair on his head. "Now I see them almost everyday, because it's like—"

Mai narrowed her eyes. "What is it, Zuko?"

"The attacks," Zuko said, mouth going dry. "They haven't been stopping, even though we keep shipping out soldiers to…"

He should have noticed it from the start. _They're taking my soldiers. They're taking _my _soldiers!_

"Nothing's changed. You noticed," Mai observed with a deep scowl. She was thinking the same thing as him, now. Her usually empty eyes now reflected his own frustration. His own _fear_. She folded her arms and leaned back against the backrest of her chair. "Why do I get the feeling it's not as simple as we think it is?"

"Simple?" Zuko gaped at her. "Nothing about this is simple, or easy. If it were, I'd have everything back in control by now. But it's not." _Agni, I can't even think about the smallest detail without getting a headache. _He rubbed his temples, glancing at his wife. "I feel like I've been played."

Mai took his free hand in hers. Her determination, her bravery, was a quiet fire in her eyes. "You forget that you can play, too. You're the Fire Lord. This palace is yours. Every single man here is yours. Do what you must, Zuko."

Zuko blinked. And then he rose from his seat. Mai watched him curiously, lips thinning in contemplation. "You have a plan?"

"First," Zuko narrowed his eyes, feeling the fire rise from the pits of his stomach to his fingertips, "I'm going to do some investigating. Starting with how and why that letter got delayed. And who did it."

* * *

Toph's first sensation shouldn't be warmth.

It was hard to ignore the strange acrobatics her heart was doing when she woke, feeling the form of Azula pressed up against her side. Her arm curled around the sleeping girl's waist a little more, securing Toph's hold on her. While she probably held Azula with the same vigil just hours ago, she knew she couldn't take any chances. Azula had wanted to run. Nothing would play out well if she decided she would run from Toph.

She told herself it was because of duty that she cared this much. She needed time to prolong her hold on Azula, until the former princess decided it was time to get better on her own accord. No forced therapy sessions and stupid sketching was going to help her. Bending seemed like a better choice, and she made a mental note to suggest it to Azula once they found a good place to hide out until the time was right.

Yes, duty was what bound her to the war criminal in her arms. Toph shuddered at the use of that title. Suki must be rubbing off on her somehow, even in her dreams.

Not that she remembered any.

"Dragon," Azula whispered. Toph grew rigid at the breathless murmur, though the steady pulse of Azula's heartbeat told her she wasn't awake. _What have you been seeing, Fire Lily?_

As if in response, Azula began to tremble in her sleep. The steady rhythm in her chest grew into a disjointed progression. It was almost contagious; Toph found herself growing stiff with fear as she began to shake Azula out of her slumber, more afraid of her screaming and alerting any patrols of Kyoshi warriors in the distance than anything at the moment. Toph didn't want to have to fight Suki or anyone else for the sake of Azula, even if she was more than willing to.

This sense of duty began to feel less like it, and more like something else. It bordered on betrayal.

Azula jerked awake, smashing Toph's train of thought effectively as she gasped out her name for the first time.

"Toph…?"

Her first instinct shouldn't be to hold her hand. But nothing had ever felt so right.

"I'm here." Toph pressed her lips into Azula's hair. "It's okay."

Not for the first time, Azula cried into her shoulder. Toph lifted Azula's face by the gentle tilt of her chin and kissed her—until she forgot where she was, until the world melted away around her and all she could feel was the awful leap her heart made and until Azula stopped sobbing.

Azula was the first to break the kiss, but the feel of her hot breath on Toph's skin indicated that she hadn't completely pulled away.

"Why do you let me sleep?"

Toph swallowed her heart back down. "Because you need it."

"I don't like what I see in my dreams." Azula drew away from her, and Toph knew this because the space before her felt unnaturally empty and cold. She'd gotten used to the firebender's heat before she even liked it.

"You'd go crazy without sleep." Toph frowned. "A whole new level of crazy. If you don't sleep, I'll get to Ember Island with your dead body in tow. I don't want that."

Azula let out a laugh that sounded far too much like a tuneful chime in the wind. Then she cleared her throat, as if she hadn't been all too tickled by Toph's sense of humor just seconds before.

"Ember Island?" she repeated, a note of suspicion in her voice. "Why that old place?" Toph could almost hear the grimace in her tone.

"Because no one would ever know," Toph said. "It's like hiding underneath the underneath. Sparky wouldn't suspect a thing."

A pause.

"You're really serious about keeping me hidden."

"Yeah, well." Toph shrugged. "Better than seeing your head getting sliced off."

Azula drew close to her again; a sign of her returning trust. A slender hand reached up to Toph's cheek. "Well, don't worry so much," Azula purred conspiratorially. "If I ever end up that way, at least you don't have the ability to watch it happen."

It was the way she sounded so at peace with the possibility of death that made Toph shudder.

* * *

They found a fishing port some hours later. Azula couldn't shake the feeling that something would catch up to them sooner or later, so she urged the metalbender by her side to keep moving. They trudged through the trees in silence, though Azula knew full well that their lives depended on the other. She would not find another one so willing to protect her, and without such a person she would not be able to find somewhere to stay until she—until she what?

There was where the certainty of her destination ended. Ember Island, nothing more. Azula figured out a while back that it was probably because Toph wanted to play by the rules of Zuko's little treaty, so the Earth Kingdom wouldn't have one more reason to persecute her and try and make her head roll on the spot. She cracked a smile at this, and wondered when Toph had learnt to weave her way in and out of the game of deceit and outsmarting the ones who had the advantage.

All for her.

It was almost surreal.

"We'll probably have to sneak on a ship." Toph sniffed, grimacing. "Probably one that returns to the Fire Nation, so we can reach Ember Island."

Azula brought her hood up, and Toph followed suit. She wondered when Toph found the time to acquire these, but didn't move to ask. Instead, she peered beyond the trees and into the bustling square of the port in the distance. Figures clad in blue were moving about, some pushing carts of their catch and others holding bags of their groceries for the day. Azula could also see other figures, not dressed in the traditional blue of an inhabitant on Kyoshi Island.

Traders and merchants. Those that had someplace to be after finishing their business here.

Azula started walking first, and Toph fell into step with her right after.

"I think I can guess which ones are heading to the Fire Nation," Azula said, eyeing a few men in the distance dressed in red. Their clothes were slightly faded—they were not noblemen, nor were they probably from the caldera city. All the more reason to target them.

"Lead the way, Fire Lily." Toph tugged lightly at the front of her cloak. "And I'll keep a look out for people that don't want us around."

It was too quick for anyone in the Earth Kingdom to get word of her arrival on Kyoshi Island—she didn't put it past Suki to be the one to inform them—but Azula decided neither of them could take any chances. Luck had never been on her side, and she wasn't about to start thinking about how the spirits felt about her. Azula wasn't superstitious, but there's only so much bad luck one can have until it begins to border on unnatural. _Deliberate._

She pulled her hood down a little lower as they emerged into the main square of the port, careful to avoid interaction with anyone. She pushed past the horde of villagers quickly, but not too hurriedly to attract unwanted attention. She felt Toph close behind.

Azula slowed to a halt when they were a distance away from the Fire Nation men. Even from where she stood, she could see that they were a gathering of their own. No one paid any heed to them unless they were doing business, and they didn't seem to mind. In fact, they looked as though they welcomed the alienation. Azula strained her ears to listen in, and the concentrated gaze of Toph told her the metalbender was doing the same.

"…bastard's taking too long with his stuff," one of them said with a sniff. Then he spat on the ground, ignoring the looks he received. "If he delays it any longer, we'll be back home by the winter solstice!"

"Calm down, Chow," another said. "Just let them be."

"You're just scared they find a reason to start a fight." Chow cracked his knuckles. "I say bring it—"

"Stop that! You don't know what you're saying. Tension between the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom is as bad as it is; don't go making it worse because you're spoiling for a fight."

"We're not even the ones who made it all happen," Chow said scornfully. "You wanna blame someone, blame the Fire Lord for not watching his sister close enough." His lips curled with distaste. "I can't believe she's on the loose. You'd think someone like her would have all the security in the world."

"Yeah, but she might have inside people. She's still got some influence, you know…"

"Despite her crazy?" Chow shook his head, laughing. "Yeah, whatever, man—hey, _where are those goods?_"

The conversation ended there, and Chow took off with one of them, looking particularly disgruntled and ready to set something on fire. Azula sucked in a deep breath and stopped when she felt Toph's hand on her shoulder. No words were spoken, but Azula could guess them anyway.

_Leave it._

"They're not worth my time," Azula said with a sneer.

Moments later, Chow returned with a satisfied smirk on his face. He muttered something to his friends and then they started moving, in the direction of the docks. This was their cue. Azula and Toph followed them as best as they could, using the crowd for cover. It was easy to tell which ship belonged to Chow and his friends; the red and gold of it, however shabbily painted on, stood out like a sore thumb. The trade that usually went on here was mostly between Earth Kingdom merchants from the mainland and the ones on Kyoshi Island. Fire Nation men rarely dropped by; Water Tribe even less.

Azula decided that it was as close to luck as she was going to get.

The boarding ramp into the belly of the ship was only a few feet away. The merchants were checking the crates at their dock while a Kyoshi Island villager looked on, tight-lipped. Before Azula could even begin to suggest a plan to sneak on board, Toph stuck her foot out. Suddenly, the crates tipped over violently just as one of Chow's friends lifted it, causing an uproar that the local looked none too eager to be part of.

"_What the hell are you doing?_" Chow bellowed as a couple of boxes tumbled into the sea.

Toph chose this moment to grab Azula by the wrist and push through the sea of blue. Azula didn't miss the smirk on the metalbender's face. It was easy to sneak on board once the locals began to crowd around Chow and his band of not so merry merchants, observing the commotion with muted interest.

Too easy, Azula realized, just as she spotted the clear way into the ship. A hand seized her by the cloak. "Halt. You're under arrest."

The accent was not Fire Nation. _And yet it doesn't sound like a commoner. That accent. I've heard it before._ Azula turned, preparing to strike when Toph slapped her hand away. The Dai Li jumped back at the rock wall that shot up from the ground, eyes narrowed. They moved into their stances, but it was Toph that went on the offensive first.

"What do you want?" she barked. Then, before the Dai Li could respond, Toph raised her voice. "Pickin' on a bunch of orphans now, huh?"

"You—" one of them hissed, green eyes flashing dangerously. It was clear that they knew exactly who it was that spoke to them, but it seemed no one else knew. And that meant they had the upper hand. For now.

"Leave those kids alone!" someone yelled from the crowd. Now most of the locals had stopped to look. Even Chow and his band of friends were looking suspiciously in their direction. A Dai Li agent raised his hand to the crowd around them.

"These aren't—"

"You Dai Li killed our parents!" Toph broke out, startling Azula. "Just 'cause one of them was Fire Nation! And now you don't want us to leave the Earth Kingdom just 'cause we're both earthbenders! You think we're going to betray the king!"

"Well, I _never_!"

"They're just _children_. You're all absurd!"

The Dai Li agent looked sick as a multitude of locals and nonlocals alike began swarming around them, hurling accusations and disapproving remarks. Toph quickly snatched Azula's wrist and they made a beeline for the ship behind them, only to be stopped by Chow.

"Hold it." He put up his hand, scrutinizing them both. "You Fire Nation kids?"

"Half. We've got family in the Fire Nation," Toph replied flatly. And then she had the good sense to sniffle, as if she was on the verge of tears. "We don't like it here."

"Yeah, I can see why," Chow muttered, shooting a glare at the villager that was responsible for his delayed goods. "You kids need a ride home?"

Azula looked up at Chow from underneath her hood. He caught the golden tint in her eyes and nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't need to see her entire face. Just her eyes.

"Well, come on. I don't like how those Dai Li guys are looking." He gestured for them both to follow. "Times like these, Fire Nation people need to stick together. There's a storm coming, you know. Could be a bigger war than the last."

Chow's friend smacked him promptly on the arm. "_What_ did I tell you?"

Chow raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just telling it to them like it is! These kids need to know. They need to be prepared." He looked over his shoulder at them. "Don't worry. We'll get you back. Should be about a two-day trip, if the winds agree with us. Speaking of which," he stopped at the base of the gangplank, "where are you kids headed again?"

"Ember Island," Toph said. "Our cousins live there. Dad's side."

"'Course." Chow nodded, and then gestured for them to head on deck. "We leaving soon. Go on." As they passed him by, Azula offered the man a curt nod. He looked confused for a moment, and then called out after Toph, "Hey, your uh…sister, right? She okay?"

"Yeah," Toph waved at him over her shoulder. "She's just mute. But she packs a mean punch, so watch it."

"Oh," Chow said, a little uncertainly. "That's unfortunate."

_You don't know the half of it, _Azula thought with a smirk, hidden underneath her hood.

* * *

"Kyoshi Island," Aang muttered under his breath, "How could I be so stupid?"

"You thought of Suki before you thought of anything else." Katara rested her hand on top of his. "There aren't many people you could have trusted Azula with."

Aang made a strangled sound, but remained tight-lipped. _She does have a point, _he told himself firmly, in a bid to lift his own spirits. _It was either Suki or…no one else at all. _

Yet that didn't help to ease the tension in his muscles.

He sighed involuntarily when Katara began rubbing soothing circles on his back, very near the spot where Azula had struck him. His old injury prickled at the thought of the one who put it there. Even now, it was hard to swallow the fact that Azula had been the one to kill him in Ba Sing Se.

Were he Avatar Kyoshi, he would have probably done Azula in a long time ago. Revenge didn't seem like a foreign concept to the past Avatar. _But then you're not her, _he reminded himself. _You're the Avatar, but you're Aang, too. _He relaxed, taking comfort in those thoughts. Two lifetimes could make that much of a difference.

"This is still my fault," Aang said, falling back and resting his head on Katara's lap. He stared up at the sky. "Toph…she's probably gone off with Azula by now. Who knows how far they'll be by the time we get to Kyoshi Island?"

"Don't think so much." Katara stroked his cheek, her blue eyes shining with that confidence he knew and loved. "I know things don't look so good right now, but we just have to believe that Toph knows better. She knows about the treaty. So she knows the consequences of defying that."

"It doesn't seem like she has an option." Aang sighed. "If she comes back to the Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom will still try and get through to Zuko. Azula will still end up being sentenced, somehow. And if she doesn't—" Aang gulped. "She'll be labeled a fugitive. And Toph…she's going to get dragged into it. Then they'll both have to keep running, or else…"

"Toph wouldn't," Katara said quietly. "She knows better than to stick it out with someone like Azula."

"And if she doesn't?"

Aang sat up quickly at the question. Nilak was looking at them meaningfully from where he sat, absently rubbing his ankle. "Well?"

"We have to believe she does," Katara answered firmly. But Aang found that he didn't have the heart to agree. He _knew _Toph. They all did. Toph might have been the meanest out of their team, and she might enforce the concept of tough love more than Katara ever will, but it didn't mean Toph didn't form strong attachments.

_But…with Azula? _Aang scratched the back of his head. It was an idea that was hard to swallow.

_Yet not everyone likes your whole 'life is precious' angle, _another voice reminded him. Aang sighed. _Didn't Yangchen mention something about selfless duty…doing whatever it takes to save the world?_

_Couldn't the same be said about love, sometimes?_

"What about love?" Aang asked, looking from Katara to Nilak. "What if…just say…love was in the picture?"

Nilak frowned, moustache rippling. Katara's eyes widened with surprise. "Do you think that's really going to make a difference?" she asked, and Aang knew that it signaled the end of their little debate. "Even if Toph did feel that way…there's just no version of this where they come out happy. _Together_."

"But Toph isn't stupid," Aang pointed out, shuddering when he caught the telltale sign of anger in Katara's eyes. _Flared nostrils, too, _he noted mentally. "I mean, I'm not saying you think she is!" he quickly moved to correct himself, but it didn't seem to have an effect on Katara. "I'm just trying to point out the fact that Toph has never judged a person wrongly before."

"Yeah, except me." Katara shook her head, chasing away memories that no longer stung. "But that's not what we're talking about. Azula can manipulate anyone. We shouldn't be underestimating her and overestimating _Toph_."

Aang fell silent, twiddling his thumbs in contemplation.

"Look, even if they did," Katara began wearily, "it wouldn't be enough. Azula is still in line for a trial. She _will _be sentenced. And how do you think that's going to work out for Toph afterwards?"

"Death doesn't solve anything," Aang muttered. It was an ideal he had come to live by over the years and would continue to live by, even if no one agreed with him on it. He thought of Ozai, powerless without his firebending, and shuddered. Even energybending felt…too much. _It's like taking a part of your soul from you. _

If the hollow look on Ozai's eyes had been any indication.

"That's not the point," Katara said, taking his hand again. "The point is that we care about Toph, and so we'll do whatever it takes to protect her from unnecessary damage. Even if she doesn't see it our way. _That's _love. What she's doing with Azula? It's nowhere near what we feel for her."

Aang wordlessly met Nilak's gaze. He was not surprised to see the sadness in the tribesman's eyes. If anything, it reflected his own.

And he began to feel all one hundred and sixteen years of his age.

* * *

"Sir," a voice whispered from the shadows. "I have news."

"Do you?" The man at the balcony threw a look over his shoulder at the soldier behind him, who took one step out of the dark—not that it made a difference; the skull mask concealed his true identity.

A necessary precaution. While there was no chance anyone would think it odd for a superior and a lowly soldier to converse, measures still had to be taken to ensure total secrecy. He'd worked far too hard; made too many deals to see it all crumble. He was too close.

"Speak. And make it quick. I have an appointment."

The soldier inclined his head in a half-nod. "The Fire Lord is on alert. And so is the Fire Lady. He plans to investigate the delayed correspondence from the Earth Kingdom as soon as possible." An uncertain pause. "I don't think…he will be letting this go."

"No, of course not. He's the Fire Lord, after all." The man turned to face the open air, eyes turning down towards the city in the distance. _So much glory. So much power. _"But it is already too late for Zuko. Not even the Avatar can fend off this approaching storm. All we must do is to wait and see." His lips stretched into a smile. "The fireworks will be grand."

"Yes, sir."

He chuckled at the unease in the soldier's voice. "You sound doubtful."

"It's not that. I'm just concerned. What if the Princess doesn't…?"

He waved dismissively, brushing away the soldier's foolish concern. "Don't worry so much. Azula can be handled, if studied carefully. When the time comes, she will not turn away. She _cannot_. She will only die trying. Now go," he turned back to the masked soldier. "We mustn't attract too much attention."

"Of course."

The clatter of boots down the hall faded too quickly.

* * *

"Suki! I've missed yo—"

She knew something was wrong the moment she laid eyes on Suki. Quickly, she bounded from the door to where Suki sat and landed—on a handstand. Her long braid fell downwards—or upwards, it really just depended on your perspective most of the time—over her shoulder and brushed against the wooden floor.

"Suki? What's wrong?" Ty Lee sniffed, looking up at the stormy-eyed Kyoshi warrior. "Your aura's all gray and…dingy."

Suki blinked and she was suddenly all too aware of Ty Lee standing next to her—on her hands. She looked up at the acrobat, eyes widening with something Ty Lee could only identify as fear. Or shock.

Or…excitement?

_Focus. Her aura is terrible! _Ty Lee dropped from her handstand and landed flat on the leader's futon. "Okay, if this is about Sokka again—"

"No, it's not." Suki cringed. "I don't know how to tell you this, Ty Lee, but—"

"You're thinking of growing out your hair," Ty Lee finished for her confidently. But the look she'd gotten in response was enough to shut her up until Suki said her piece. She put a finger to her lips to reassure Suki of that, and the Kyoshi warrior let out a long, tired sigh.

"What have you heard from the Fire Nation?" Suki asked. "In the past month or two?"

"I haven't really heard anything," Ty Lee mumbled. "I spent the last few months holed up in stinky, stuffy Ba Sing Se! Hardly any word gets around in there, you know that!" She shuddered at the memory of stinky, stuffy Ba Sing Se. _And those high walls, _she thought. Then she snapped back to attention when she realized Suki was staring. "We spent most of our time in the palace with King Kuei, and he hardly says much to us as it is. And you know how quiet the Dai Li are—they think _whispering _is too loud!"

Suki shook her head grimly. "Then…this is going to come as a bit of a shock to you. Just promise me," she looked up with a sternness that _definitely _meant business, "you won't go running out the door and think of doing something stupid. And then do it."

"I won't!" Ty Lee sat up, and took Suki's hands in her own. "Now tell me! You're _killing_ me!"

Suki took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and pulled her hands out of Ty Lee's grasp.

"Azula escaped from the asylum, and things happened along the way…and she stayed here for a while. But now," Suki sighed explosively. "She left a day ago, and we haven't found her since."

Ty Lee's jaw hung loose.

_Azula…?_

* * *

Azula tried not to curl her lips in distaste when Chow emerged into the lower deck holding two bowls of jook. He caught the way Toph sniffed her bowl warily, however, and made a clicking noise with his tongue in disapproval.

"You can't pick and choose, kid." He settled down into the seat beside Azula. "I'm just here to make sure you two don't starve."

It was strange accepting food from someone who so readily offered help at the first chance he got. It was strange, and all too suspicious. It was a parody at best of her time with Nilak, only this time she wasn't trying to leave the Fire Nation. She was trying to find her way back to it. The metalbender by her side only made that thought several degrees more palatable.

Quite unlike the bowl of rice mixed with water she'd been eating for the past few days.

"So…" Toph drew out the word, "What's your angle? You don't seem like the charitable type, Chew."

"_Chow_," the man corrected her irritably. "And what's that supposed to mean? I didn't see anyone else scrambling to take you two on board their ship."

Toph shrugged. "Well, if I can put it this way: you don't owe us anything. You can't seriously expect us to believe that you're doing it because you believe that…what? Fire Nation people like us have _got to _stick together?"

"Kid, don't look a horse's gift in the mouth."

"Gift horse," Toph said quickly. Awkward silence ensued, and then Chow had the decency to laugh.

"Right, but you get the idea." He cleared his throat. "Maybe your parents didn't get the chance to teach you two about the lesson of loyalty. Of honor."

"Honor…yeah, I've heard _loads_ about that."

Azula looked up and caught the smirk on Toph's face. And found that one was threatening to surface on her own.

"Maybe in another time, where there isn't talk of war…maybe I wouldn't have picked you two up. But those Dai Li bastards were pushin' it back there, and I couldn't stand by anyway. Even if your dad wasn't Fire Nation…well," Chow crossed his arms over his chest, "you two were just _kids_."

"What have you heard about this war?" Toph asked. Azula just kept her head bowed, and pretended to contemplate the bowl of jook with the wooden spoon in her hand. She stirred it slowly, until the movement began to hypnotize her.

"I've heard enough, actually. Enough to know that the Earth King's going crazy with trying to track down the Fire Princess, and the Fire Lord's going crazy with trying to control the activity going on near the capital _and _finding his sister before Kuei does."

"Earth King, huh?" Toph let out a low whistle. "Princess might wanna watch her back."

It was a subtle warning at best. Azula kept her concentration on the spinning rice in her bowl.

"Yeah. I don't take sides, you know, but I've got a pretty good idea on where this might be going." Chow sniffed. "The earthbenders have got no reason to be on Fire Nation land. I hear they even attacked the palace a week back or something. Crazy."

"Wow, really? I didn't know things were that bad over there. Things have been pretty…quiet where we were."

"Seriously? I've heard rumors of the Princess passing by Kyoshi Island myself. That's why we had such a hard time getting our goods, I think. They probably thought we were in on it or something." Chow's voice lilted with suspicion. "Surely you street urchins heard _some _stuff, at least?"

"Whispers," Toph drawled, "but nothing more than that. Sis here thought it was bullshit."

_If only it were, _Azula mused.

"Wish it was," Chow admitted gravely. "But things aren't looking up. The Water Tribes may seem like they're sitting this one out, but I'm no fool. The Earth Kingdom just has more firepower to do something about this problem if it wanted to. The Water Tribes…well, I don't know."

"But what exactly _is _the problem?" Toph asked. "I mean…all anyone has to do is find that Princess and put her back in jail or whatever. What's the big idea?"

"The big idea, kid," Chow leaned across the table, "is that Princess Azula's still got some influence. In her name, her title…whatever. People fear that. Sure, the Phoenix King doesn't have anyone's attention anymore, but Azula? She's no Zuko, that's for sure."

Azula's wooden spoon snapped in half, but Chow was too engrossed in his conversation with Toph to notice.

"So…people think she's gonna somehow start the whole war thing again?" Toph ventured carefully.

"That," Chow acknowledged with a half-nod, "or _Zuko's _the one trying to pull an encore of Ozai. There's about a dozen theories, so don't get me started on the rest. Some people say it's been Ozai's plan all along, to let Zuko take over until the time was right."

Toph scoffed. "That's pretty hard to believe. He'd lose his _bending _for all that?"

"Yeah, bullshit, right?" Chow coughed into his fist. "But whatever it is, I still think Fire Lord Zuko knows what he's doing. The Avatar's stuck it out with him for so long; I think that's a pretty good indicator of his character, don't you think?"

"Yeah, pretty good," Toph echoed. She drummed her fingers on the wooden table. "Then what about the Princess? Everything seems to be revolving around her."

"Well, as far as I can tell, she's not the problem here."

Azula looked up.

_That's a first._

"Oh, _really_?" Toph raised an eyebrow. "That's a pretty weird thing to say, dude."

Chow chuckled. "You don't know how grown-ups work. I know the Princess is all out of whack—got admitted into a loony bin the day the war ended and stuff—" Azula scowled underneath the shadow of her hood, "—but that doesn't mean she's actively trying to be a problem on her own. Not saying she's useless, either, or out of the picture. You wanna know my take on this, kid? I think the Earth King's just after his own reputation. An itch on his butt he's gotta scratch, 'cause the Princess took down Ba Sing Se without even _touching _the walls. Pretty huge blow to a guy's ego, you know?"

Toph hummed in understanding, leaving them with a moment of silence. "Gee, all this gives me a headache. I don't ever wanna grow up. Right, sis?"

Azula could only assume that she had to nod in agreement. And she did. To her dismay, Chow clapped her on the back.

"Don't worry about it. You girls shouldn't bother yourselves with something like this." Chow lowered his voice. "Far as I know, as long as you know how to keep away, you don't have to get yourself involved. Too much hassle."

Toph laughed, and Chow rose to his feet.

"Eat that, okay? It'll be enough until we stop by for more supplies tomorrow. Oh, and one more thing—" he stopped, and turned around to face Toph and Azula with a kind look in his amber eyes, "—even if Kuei wasn't trying to mess things up, I'm sure your daddy would've told you how important loyalty is. It makes people want to keep each other alive. That's what made our nation what it is today, even if we have the blood of a hundred years on our hands."

He disappeared up the stairs, and Azula turned back to Toph.

"Dumbass. Can't believe he bought my act," Toph muttered, "but he makes sense. It's a lot to think about."

"Yes," Azula agreed, watching Toph with an intensity that didn't go unnoticed by the metalbender. Green eyes glazed over in her direction.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Azula shook her head. "I just…wanted to know if you'd eat my share."

Toph wrinkled her nose in disgust, and that was all the response Azula needed. She propped her elbows up on the table, leaning forward. Chow's words came back to her sooner than she expected. She studied the metalbender across her with his words in mind.

_It makes people want to keep each other alive._

For the first time in a long time, Azula forgot about the death sentence hanging over her head. She even forgot about the snakes that always made it a point to remind her that Toph was setting her up for an inevitable betrayal, that there was no love between them, not even if Azula bothered to care about such a thing.

_Well, it doesn't matter, does it? _Azula mused. _She wants to keep me alive._

Even if Azula didn't have Toph's love, she could still fall back on the knowledge that she had Toph's loyalty. It was a crazy thought, but then again she was all too familiar with thoughts inspired by insanity.

Loyalty was a far greater asset than love.

That's what Azula told herself, and would continue to tell herself until she fell asleep that night.

* * *

A/N: The line where Chow went "Don't look a horse's gift in the mouth" was actually a genuine mistake on my part. I was overwhelmed with schoolwork and decided to edit this chapter and somehow the saying came out jumbled. I spent a long time laughing at myself and then decided to just put it in there for shits and giggles.


	17. The Hunters and Their Prey

A/N: It's December already? Didn't I just turn seventeen in June a minute ago?

Anyway, happy holidays to those who are on a break! Unfortunately, I'm not, but that stops me from turning into a sloth so it's all good.

* * *

**17**

She never slept, but that didn't mean being poked repeatedly in the side wasn't annoying as hell.

"Up and at 'em, Princess!"

A groan. "Is that supposed to be an attempt at creativity?"

Azula squinted up at the metalbender crouching over her. Strangely, it felt like forever since she looked properly into Toph's eyes. Ever since they left the village, all Azula had ever done was kiss her with her eyes closed. She wouldn't open them until they were finished, or until she was far enough.

Until she could breathe again.

She told herself it was because she was too carelessly eager, because Toph was too, but she found herself feeling more breathless than usual as she looked up into the twin green suns that greeted her. If she'd gone any nearer, Azula knew she would have been able to make out every individual eyelash, every different shade of green.

It would be her undoing. She suddenly hated Toph, whether it was for knowing what she could do or not knowing it at all.

She pulled herself into a sitting position and leaned back against the wooden hull, and Toph settled down beside her. The ship was still swaying, but Azula was aware that it had slowed down at some point.

"Oh," Toph's eyes sparkled with amusement. "So you _do _like it when I call you Fire Lily."

"I didn't say that," Azula said, turning her face and pressing her lips up against Toph's ear. "But I do like some…_other_ things."

Toph turned to face her with a lopsided grin. Azula caught herself staring so intently at Toph's mouth that she reflexively drew away when the girl leaned in and tried to kiss her. This earned her a much-deserved scowl.

"Don't be a tease," Toph said in a low voice.

"Don't try so hard," Azula countered smoothly. "Besides, we're supposed to be sisters."

"We're _close_."

They broke into smirks at the same time, just as Chow stumbled through the door. He was breathing heavily; strands of hair fell down the sides of his face, plastered to his skin with his perspiration—

Something was wrong.

Azula sat upright and looked at him pointedly. Before Toph could open her mouth to ask, the burly man stepped aside and nodded towards the doorway. "Out. Now."

"What's going on?" Toph asked. She rose to her feet and offered a hand to Azula, who took it after a tentative glance. All the muscles in her body had tensed at the sight of Chow's pale face.

"Dai Li," Chow said, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. Another man descended the flight of stairs and entered the storage hull, looking oddly calm when standing next to Chow.

"For Earth Kingdom men, they sure have fast ships." He directed his cold and calculating gaze unto Azula. "For innocent kids like you, you attract lots of unwanted attention. I think you've overstayed your welcome."

"So we're not at Ember Island," Toph said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And there are Dai Li hot on our heels."

"I think it's time you left."

"Chun—"

Chun put up a hand to silence the one beside him. "Brother, you do not know these _children_." He narrowed his eyes. "_If _they are even normal children at all. The Dai Li _are _the enforcers of the law in the Earth Kingdom—they _must _have committed some crime against the Earth King—"

Azula finally recognized him as the man that constantly tried to keep Chow in line at the port. He was shorter and much skinnier, but Azula had a feeling he was the older brother. She matched his gaze evenly but said nothing as Chow began to protest.

"You're kidding, right? Look at them!" Chow gestured wildly to Toph, in particular, perhaps trying to point out her size and sheer _harmlessness_. Azula was seized with the urge to start laughing like a maniac. How no one managed to recognize them yet was a miracle in itself. "They're not _criminals_!"

"Don't be naïve!" Chun snapped, his calm exterior crumbling. "You don't _know_ them. No one on this ship does, but I'm willing to bet those _Earth Kingdom cronies_ do!" Chun glared at his brother and then turned to Azula. "I'm not going to make any assumptions, because I don't want to know and this crew doesn't deserve the trouble you're bringing along with you. We'll give you a rowboat, just enough for two. If you're really dead set on Ember Island, keep rowing northwest and you should hit the outlying islands soon."

"Wait, how far are we away from the island? The _Fire Nation_?" Toph asked, narrowing her eyes.

"It's only been a day and a half," Chow said before Chun could answer. "So we're still miles away—"

"Miles," Toph repeated, as if she were speaking about something utterly distasteful. She sighed. "Well, guess we'd better get a head start."

"You should." Chun's moustache rippled with thinly veiled anger. "Up and out, two of you. I will not have the Dai Li incinerating our ship on the account of two siblings—if you're even related to each other."

_Oh, we're related all right._

"Yeah, yeah," Toph muttered under her breath as they followed the two brothers out.

They emerged into the upper deck, and suddenly all eyes were on them. Some accusing, others wary. None were favorable responses—and why should any of them be? Azula knew how efficient the Dai Li were; they were as skilled in the art of reconnaissance as they were lethal. Encountering them was like encountering a death itself—there was no hiding and running from them unless they were given a reason to turn away.

The only reason these men had now was that the people the Dai Li were after were _not _on their ship.

"I hate water," Toph mumbled beside her, looking a little sick.

_Water. _Azula narrowed her eyes. _Water… _She quickly pulled Toph aside, putting up one hand to silence Chun's oncoming protest that they hurry. She turned them both so that her back faced the men, and she leaned closer to Toph. "There's no way they'll win this. The Earth Kingdom Navy is weak. They can't earthbend at _sea_."

"You want to _fight them_?" Toph shook her head. "No way. If you're not going to think about this crew, then think about how it's going to slow us down. If word gets out…Sparky's gonna know where we are. The Earth King might find out that you killed off a bunch of his guys. And where the hell do you think we're gonna end up?"

Azula twisted her lips into a grimace, and straightened her back. "Fine."

Chun wordlessly nodded to the boat that had already been released into the water. A rope ladder was their only way of access to it. Azula turned and faced the sea behind them, cloak billowing in the gentle sea breeze. One black speck in the distance was enough to tell her just how much danger they were in. _If they catch up, they'll never see the sun again. _She turned to Chow, who only looked apologetic at this point.

"I wish we could take you all the way," was all he could offer, and Azula gave him one last nod before climbing down the ladder and onto the boat. It wobbled slightly as she landed, but she regained her footing with ease. Toph, on the other hand, was not accustomed to traveling by sea, and tumbled into the boat and dropped into a sitting position quickly.

"Let's get on with it," Toph growled, feeling her way to the oar. "You're leading. I can't see a thing out here."

Azula sighed. "If we die…"

Toph snorted and shook her head.

"Since when were you ever afraid of that?"

* * *

_What a sad place._

The asylum was rendered useless after the escape of Princess Azula. Feng stalked down the empty hallway in unceasing steps, only stopping to check the offices and wards along the way for things to clean up or throw into the trash. It had been a strange order on the Fire Lord's part, but he wasn't going to complain. His livelihood depended on the orders he received, and he went along quietly.

There were only a handful of doctors and orderlies left, the ones reserved for the missing princess. Zuko had ordered the rest of the asylum staff back to the Fire Palace where they could take up other positions. They would not end up jobless—and Feng found himself admiring them. Empty rooms and offices greeted him on every level, save for the ones at the top floor where Azula's personal doctors remained.

Azula's ward was left untouched, ever since the day of her escape. Feng only gave the room a cursory glance before moving to shut the steel door.

Then something caught his eye.

_The floor…is that _writing_? _He squinted at the markings on the ground, the spot where Azula frequently occupied either laying down or curled into herself. While it was not unusual to see scorch marks on the padded walls—a result of Azula's frequent bouts of firebreathing and violent reactions to the medicine and doctors—he'd never noticed the scratches on the concrete floor. Next to the blood splatters on the ground they were tiny, insignificant.

_She tried killing herself here, _Feng thought with a grimace. He kicked aside the broken chains and dropped to his knees, running two fingers over the marks on the ground. _Writing, _he realized with a start. It felt almost disrespectful to intrude on the thoughts of the former princess. She'd never had anyone to talk to but herself, and the thought of journaling her thoughts…her hallucinations, even…

_Maybe it'd help with the treatments. Maybe the doctors can use this to know what's really stopping her from…_

He narrowed his eyes at the sentence he made out.

_It's not me._

"It's not me?" he murmured, furrowing his brows in confusion. He moved on to the rest of the marks, tracing them slowly, and found that they all said the same thing. _It's not me. _"What's that supposed to mean?"

And then his eyes fell on the last sentence. The last phrase that shook him to his very core.

_Help me._

A chill slithered down his spine when he heard a man scream himself hoarse, just down the hall.

"_Someone—help me!_"

_Agni's flame—_

Feng clutched the handle of his blade and rose to his feet. He was just about to dash out the door when two men clad in green blocked his way. His stomach began doing strange flips, and it wasn't the good kind.

Dai Li. _You have _got _to be kidding me._

His livelihood now depended on this battle.

* * *

Zuko made his way down the corridor, robes billowing behind him. The path ahead led him straight to the first place—and person—that came to mind when he woke up. Someone who had _information, _something Zuko needed immediately. He was also more resourceful than any other person Zuko knew; which was why he was stationed there in the first place. Resource and information were important—especially now.

He stopped at the door at the end of the dim corridor and pushed the door open without knocking. The man sitting at the table inside barely looked up or responded to his intrusion; he kept his head bowed and eyes trained on the letter he was penning, unblinking. He was no older than twenty-six, at least, and though that made him one of the youngest men in the Fire Lord's palace, it also spoke volumes of his potential. Zuko felt his heart lift at the sight of the nonchalant young officer, and leaned against the cabinets, clearing his throat.

"Xun."

"Fire Lord." The man still didn't look up, though his tone was sufficiently reverent. "I don't think you'd want to topple those. Rearranging those files is a troublesome chore."

"I need to know who was in here accessing the letters brought in from the Earth Kingdom." Zuko placed the letter he took from Mai on the table, trying his best not to slam it in down in front of Xun, his head of intelligence. "Every single man that passed through in the last month."

"The last month?" Xun finally looked up at Zuko, narrowing his eyes. "Why—"

"Someone delayed an urgent message from the Earth King and his general," Zuko began levelly, "addressed to mea month ago. I should have received it _personally_, but it was only delivered to my doorstep yesterday. Someone _delayed _it. I want to know who."

Xun's brows furrowed as he heard Zuko's words and stood up from behind his desk. He looked down at his papers, pressing his palms on the table surface as he did so. "My lord, you understand that we have absolutely no way of tracking down this kind of information." He looked up sharply. "Many men come and go every single day—I can't weed out just _one _man for you. It's impossible."

"Then who was in charge of intercepting and sorting out correspondences?" Zuko clenched his fists, turning to the messenger hawks perched on their stands by the window. They all looked at him passively, as if wondering whom this human intruder was. He felt absurd for even hoping that one of them would speak up, or lead him to the man responsible. "One month ago. Who was on duty here?"

"That, I can find out," Xun said with a nod. He stepped around the table and past Zuko, towards the cabinets propped up against the wall. The hawks' gazes followed Xun briefly before returning their attention to Zuko, eyeing him silently. Xun started going through the scrolls on the shelves, "We at least keep track of the duty roster in here." He pulled one scroll out and unrolled it, his eyes scanning its contents quickly. "Right…last month, just past the winter solstice." He thinned his lips. "Ah, yes. Junior officer Jie Li."

_Jie Li…why does that sound so familiar? _Zuko frowned. "I've heard of him before."

"Yes," Xun closed the cabinet, sharing the same grim look. "I know he was just recruited six months ago, but there's something else." The young officer stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned against the cabinet's frame, golden eyes searching.

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. _I know him from somewhere. He was…young. He was…_

"Dead," Xun said abruptly, snapping Zuko out of his thoughts. The Fire Lord looked at Xu strangely.

"Dead? What do you mean dead?"

Xun snapped his fingers. "I remember now. Jie Li, he was that kid on Chameleon Bay—" Xun crossed the room in large steps. "About a month ago, scouts reported a body on the shores of the bay. They identified him as a man from my department, and I went down to confirm his identity." The man looked up at Zuko with a dark look in his eyes. "He drowned. That was the official report from the coroner. _Suicide_." The last word rolled off Xun's tongue so distastefully that Zuko couldn't repress a shudder and looked away.

_Officer…drowning. A month ago. Or less. It doesn't matter. _He looked up at Xun, who seemed to be thinking the same thing as him. "Someone didn't want to leave a trail."

Xun bristled. "Majesty, I can assure you, the Intelligence Department is _loyal_—"

Zuko put up a hand to stop him. _That's not helping. _"I don't know about that, but I do know one thing: someone doesn't feel as loyal as you do."

Xun's lips twitched. He scowled as he crossed over to the messenger hawks, meeting their wary gaze. "Well, whoever it was, Your Highness, it definitely wasn't just some random soldier boy." He turned to Zuko. "A letter like that—only a highly ranked man has clearance to that kind of thing. Commanders and above. Not even _lieutenants_ get to touch them."

"Commanders…and generals." Zuko brought a hand to his chin, nodding thoughtfully.

"Don't forget the admirals." Xun stroked the hawk closest to him, though his eyes were still trained on Zuko. "Your Majesty, if I may…this is a dangerous game someone is playing. To kill a kid because they don't want to be found out? I don't think this is any kind of _accident_. It was far too much of a hassle. Jie Li was damned eager to take my place." His voice lilted at the end in fond remembrance, though that would be the only display of emotion Zuko would see from him for a while. Xun was many things, but he never showed too much of it when he could help it.

"I know," Zuko nodded again, slumping against the table behind him. _But who? All the ones who defected…left months ago. Way before Azula escaped. _

"Investigations will commence at once, at your word." Xun saluted. "Just give us the order. Intelligence is on your side, I swear it."

Zuko wanted to smile, to let Xun know that he appreciated the declaration. But he didn't have the heart for it, and merely settled for a curt nod. He met the man's eyes, gold and blazing with heated determination.

"Well, you've got a lot of work cut out for you, Xun. Prepare for sleepless nights."

Xun hummed in acknowledgement, though he was looking out the window, eyes distant. "I expect nothing less, my lord."

* * *

Appa landed with an almighty groan.

Aang hadn't even begun to help Nilak off the bison when Suki came into view, with Ty Lee—in all her pink glory—at her heel. Suki looked exhausted; the rings around her eyes were so much more pronounced since Aang had seen her last, but Ty Lee looked pale and really out of it. If Aang could see auras like she did, he felt sure he'd see something brown or gray or…something disgusting. Katara patted him on the back, a signal to talk to the Kyoshi warriors waiting down below.

"I'll help Nilak," she said. Aang nodded, smiling gratefully before he leaped off Appa's back and landed as gently as any feather.

"Ty Lee, you're back!" Aang looked from the acrobat to Suki. "Um…okay, before you start—I know. I know Azula's gone."

"You _know_?" Suki blinked incredulously at him. "How? We made sure word didn't get out, even amongst the villages here—"

"Well, it's kind of a long story. Katara told us about Toph, and then she said Toph would take Azula away because of the treaty and then Nilak confirmed that too but I don't know how but—" Aang stopped short when he saw the color drain from Suki's face.

"You guys knew about _Toph_ too?"

Aang took a step back. "Well, we only just found out a few days ago…"

"Toph?" Ty Lee squeaked, looking at Suki. "What are you talking about? Why would Toph take 'Zula away?"

_Monkey feathers, _Aang thought, deflating. "Okay," he started again, slowly, "We obviously have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah, we do." Suki looked past him. "But first…where's Sokka?"

"That's another thing we have to talk about." Aang sighed. "It's a _really_ long story."

* * *

Ty Lee felt the energy drain from even her reserves as Aang concluded his story. She slumped against the wall behind her, no longer caring if it would mess up her braid. Azula was missing, and there was a death sentence hanging over her head and she's out somewhere drifting about with that little earthbender.

She felt a stab of jealousy, and she would remember its sting until the end of her days. _I should be the one with 'Zula now…not Toph. She doesn't _know _'Zula like I do! She doesn't understand her—doesn't know what she needs! _Ty Lee hugged her knees close, barely listening to the ongoing discussion. _Where could they have gone?_

_And why did 'Zula go along with her like that? What do they…what are they…_

It hurt to think, all of a sudden. Ty Lee let out a sigh, and clapped a hand to her forehead. _Tired. _

"Ty Lee, are you all right?"

She looked up and opened her eyes to find Suki staring at her. In fact, everyone else was too. She dragged her hand down her face, unable to find the strength to put up a pretense and act happy. She couldn't be happy. Azula was gone, and with someone else.

_Stop thinking about that!_

"Yeah, I'm just…kinda shocked." Ty Lee shook her head. _Shocked doesn't even begin to cover it. _"And worried about Azula. I mean, she's all alone out there."

"Not really." Aang offered her a comforting smile, but it didn't help much. It was obvious what he was implying, but Ty Lee found that she was unable to draw any comfort from it. Thinking of Toph and Azula in _that _way left a bad taste on her mouth. _I wish Mai were here, _Ty Lee thought absently, looking away from Aang. _She'd know what to do._

"We shouldn't worry about who she's with and who she isn't with," Suki said sharply, more affected than ever when Aang recounted the events at the palace and what happened to Sokka. Ty Lee knew that look in her eyes. Suki was thinking of Sokka and trying _not _to think about him at the same time. She drew closer to the Kyoshi warrior and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. And smiled when Suki looked at her.

"I just—" Suki looked away, lips twitching uncertainly. "The important thing is that none of this comes to war. We don't need another one. Does Zuko know about this?"

"Mai's probably told him by now," Katara replied. "So yes, he knows."

"And?" Suki looked around. "We have a plan, right? We're going to take Azula back, put her back where she belongs?" She cringed when Ty Lee let out a squeak of horror. The acrobat drew away from her friend and the rest of them, including that man with kind eyes. He looked sad, and his shoulders drooped as if he had a heavy weight to carry. But he was probably on their side.

Probably.

"Back where she belongs?" Ty Lee narrowed her eyes at them all. "Azula's not crazy! She's just angry and hurt, that's all!"

"Not crazy," Suki muttered, horrified. She looked at Ty Lee, but not unkindly. "Ty Lee, you understand what the treaty entails, right? That if Azula doesn't go back…then the Earth Kingdom will launch an attack. It'll be war again. Is that worth it? Everyone throwing their lives away for someone who doesn't even care?"

"Azula doesn't need to go back in there!" Ty Lee retorted, feeling the tears threatening to surface. She clenched her fists and blinked furiously. "At first I thought it'd make her better. Maybe I'd even see her smile again. But nothing made her better in there. She got worse! And if you put her back in there she might—might—" Ty Lee folded into herself, unable to finish her sentence.

She remembered the way Azula threw herself on the ground and tried smashing her own head on the ground. She remembered the way Azula avoided her gaze, ignored her protests and cries. She remembered the way Azula didn't seem to remember her.

_You can't make her do it again. I won't let you! _Ty Lee sniffed heavily. "She'll die."

"Ty Lee," Katara began gently, using that placating voice mothers always used. Ty Lee shied away from the waterbender's touch, but kept her eyes on her. "You can't expect all of us to ignore the trouble war brings on account of one person. I know you care about her but…but haven't you ever considered the fact that maybe Azula doesn't care about _you_?"

Aang stopped Katara a moment too late. He sighed sharply, shaking his head when Katara shot him a questioning look as if to say: _Was I wrong? _

His gray eyes spoke a million apologies, but it wasn't enough. She didn't need apologies, she just needed—

_Eyes, burning like the sun. A color she admired and tried to memorize like how she memorized vital points, even when she knew it was anger and not passion—and above all, hurt. That unspoken accusation was a scream burned into her memory, and she stumbled away, gripping Mai's wrist so tightly the girl hissed and told her to _let go_…_

_She broke Azula. She didn't deserve anything good for that._

"Ty Lee?"

She looked up, but not at Katara. Not at Suki. Not even at Aang. She looked right at the waterbender with the kindest eyes she'd ever seen, and bit her lip. His aura was soothing; comforting, even. But she couldn't stay on account of him. She couldn't sit in a room with people who didn't know—didn't _care_. _Don't be like them_, she thought as she rose to her feet.

"I have to go," Ty Lee choked out, and ran out before anyone could stop her.

She ran straight for the beach, past the sleeping bison, and stopped when she was at the edge of the water. Ty Lee dropped to her knees and broke into sobs as she buried her face in her hands.

And cried even harder when arms enveloped her, and she smelled the salt air of the sea.

"Such a gentle soul," Yue whispered into her ear. "So easily fractured. So…_human_."

Ty Lee looked up, shaking. "Do you miss…?"

"Him, yes." Yue settled down noiselessly beside her on the beach. "Humanity, even more. It allowed me to feel…around Sokka. Like how you feel. But now whenever I see him, I don't feel the same. It's not the same, and yet good enough."

"You felt…sad?" Ty Lee sniffed hard. "_Heartbroken_? But he loved you."

"I couldn't have him," Yue said softly, shaking her head. "And that was the truth."

"And me? Can I still have…her? Or is she going to—die?" Ty Lee looked at Yue, shivering from the fear that the answer she was going to receive was not the one she wanted to hear. The Moon spirit sighed, and the sea drew back.

"Her fire grows small." Yue looked sad. "It will die. Unless…"

"Unless what?" Ty Lee reached for Yue, and took her by the wrist. She leaned forward, imploring the spirit to speak further. _Anything—I'll do _anything _to help her! _

"Fire," Yue gestured at something invisible before them with one pale hand. She met Ty Lee's eyes, and smiled. "Heat. It's the essence of a flame—not a firebender's flame, but…the heart's. The _center _of humanity."

"She needs heat?" Ty Lee asked confusedly. _It sort of makes sense, but… _"Humanity's…center?"

Yue nodded, and pressed a finger against Ty Lee's chest. Right on top of her beating heart.

_Love? _Ty Lee shook her head. "How can love—stop her from dying? From the people that want to kill her?" she asked, fiercely holding back her tears. "I don't understand, Yue—"

"You do. More than you think."

Yue took her hands, and offered nothing more than a kiss on the forehead.

Ty Lee began to cry again.

* * *

They looked almost identical save for their faces. One had a goatee while the other was clean-shaven and looked considerably younger. It was the only difference Feng could spot. It was unnerving to have them both stare at him intently, but it was even more to see one crack a smile in his direction. Feng tensed as he tightened his grip on his weapon, watching them carefully.

Goatee stepped up. "They said we'd only find the doctors. They didn't mention _you_."

The one on the left readied himself into a stance, and thrust one foot out. Feng took this as his cue and leaped aside, just as the ground beneath him rose to form a giant spike. The ground crackled angrily and trembled under the might of the Dai Li. Feng's gaze darted from one to the other, out of caution rather than fear.

"What do you want from the staff here?" he demanded, turning the blade handle in his grip. "This is _Fire Nation _land—you're not authorized to be here!"

"That is none of your business. Not when we're finished with you," said the agent that attacked him. As his friend stood in the corridor watching silently, the one speaking stepped into the ward. He raised his hands and spread them before him as if offering something to Feng. The walls shook ominously. "Don't worry. It'll be so quick, you won't feel much pain."

The man left Feng with no chance to respond; he brought his palms together swiftly in one loud clap, and the walls on either side of Feng burst apart—towards him. Feng guessed that the padded walls would lessen the impact by only a fraction, but he didn't want to stay and find out. He leaped back into the air and managed to sneak a fireball through the diminishing gap before the wall pieces collided.

The Dai Li agent had already raised an earth wall by the time Feng's projectile reached him. Feng skidded to a halt, gaze expertly trained on his attacker who was smiling. "Ah, a firebender. Not just some non-bender soldier we can so easily dispose of, then." He looked over his shoulder to address the stoic man behind him. "Wei, this will take a while. Why don't you go and get what we need while I handle him?"

The other agent, Wei, only inclined his head. "Make it quick."

Feng glared at the both of them, raising his blade in warning. "No one is going anywhere."

Wei remained silent, though the look in his eyes hardened considerably. Then he finally addressed his partner, "Shen. I'll give you five minutes." The moment he turned to leave, Feng rushed forth and interrupted Wei in mid-step, sending two sharp blades of fire towards him. The agent stopped just in time as the blades brushed past his face, and he looked sharply at Feng but made no move to attack. Instead, his partner Shen interceded for him; the ground sunk beneath Feng's feet, giving way until he fell into the floor below.

Feng landed on his back with a groan. _This is not my day, _he thought wearily as Shen jumped down after him. The hole in the ceiling covered up right after the Dai Li landed beside him. Shen looked down at him with a smirk. "Now _you're_ not going anywhere."

Without missing a beat, Feng got back on his feet and delivered a flurry of slashes with his blade at Shen, flaming arcs accompanying the swift movements. Shen sidestepped his onslaught all too easily, occasionally knocking and parrying his blade away with a hand gloved with earth. They continued this exchange for about a minute when Feng finally realized what was happening and struck out at Shen in frustration.

"You're just stalling for time!" he growled. _And I'm playing right into your little game._

Shen chuckled and leaped away. He landed some few feet away; hands pulled back, feet firmly planted on the ground and knees bent into a low horse stance. "You're just fun to play with, Fire Nation. I'm actually going easy on you." Then he thrust his fists forward and in an upward sweeping motion; earth rose along with his gesture like a wave. The fissures in the ground created by it nearly knocked Feng off his feet and he stumbled sideways, barely missing the earth that came crashing back down.

He regained his footing quickly and punched fire in Shen's direction with one fist, making sure the blast was large enough that the Dai Li had to raise an earth wall to protect himself. _Only one chance for this, _he thought to himself as he summoned the flames. _Earthbenders stand their ground, but he won't fall for it again. _

True to his prediction, Shen raised an earth wall to shield himself from the great flaming projectile. Feng wasted no time and delivered a kick towards the wall. Fire burst forth from his foot explosively, blowing the wall apart.

Shen was pushed back by the impact, and despite his strong stance, he skidded a few feet away. His arm was raised, shielding his eyes from the debris that flew in all directions. Feng had already jumped ahead just as the wall gave way, and he raised his blade to strike in midair. Shen looked up, green eyes glistening with alarm, and dropped into a low crouch just as Feng brought his weapon down on him. He dropped even further when flames sailed dangerously close to the top of his head and rolled aside. He leapt back on his feet a distance away, scowling.

Relentlessly and without mercy, Feng continued his onslaught, firing a barrage of attacks at Shen until he was backed into a corner. Earth wall after earth wall came up, only to be torn down by the dexterous firebender. Finally, the Dai Li agent raised one last wall in a bid to fend Feng off, and sent it sailing towards the firebender. Feng steadied himself for the impact and dropped his sword, pressing his palms together and raising his hands above his head. In one swift movement, he sliced through the wall with fire and it fell apart, but the fire blade did not stop there.

It reached Shen before he could fully move away. Flesh sizzled loudly as the Dai Li let out a yelp, clutching at the spot where the blade of fire had touched. He slapped the fire away, but the injury had long since been inflicted; burnt skin could be seen through the torn green cloth, blackened from the fire. The attack had touched Shen far better than Feng had previously thought. The burn wasn't skin-deep.

The Dai Li backed away as Feng advanced on him after picking up his blade.

"Well," Feng said, running a hand along the top of his head, smoothing his hair. "You really went easy on me."

Shen looked murderous. "I can still earthbend," he said threateningly, though he was wincing from the pain of being burnt. Feng twirled his blade slowly, and brought it to the man's neck.

"Answers." Feng let the tip of his blade touch Shen's skin. "Now. What are the Dai Li doing _trespassing_ in an abandoned mental facility?"

"Don't play dumb," spat Shen, glaring. "Your Fire Lord housed his sister here. Princess Azula."

"And?" Feng prodded. "What business do you have with someone who isn't even here? Were you sent by the Earth King?"

Shen's eyes darted left, but only for a split second. "Kuei…knows _nothing_. Except that he can use the Princess' escape to propel the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom into war again, to regain the honor he lost when she brought down Ba Sing Se." His green eyes glimmered with something close to admiration and respect—but for Azula? Feng found it hard to believe. She was nothing if not a criminal in the eyes of the Earth Kingdom._  
_

"This is confirmed, then? The Earth King wants to go to war with the Fire Nation?"

"That's what I said!" Shen barked, and then winced when Feng drove the blade a little deeper. "He was so eager, right after he heard the news of Azula's escape. But he decided to play nice first, because he knew about the Avatar and his peacemaking ways. He gave your Fire Lord a month, but nothing's turned up and that makes the king happy." His chapped lips curled into a vicious smile. "Kuei finally knows what it is to be a leader. A man who rules a great _kingdom_. But it's too late, of course."

"Too late?" Feng narrowed his eyes. "Too late for what? War?"

"He's failed to impress the Dai Li. By giving the Princess a head start by one month, he's effectively given the Dai Li a month to—"

Earth rose with a mighty roar from under Feng's feet, encasing him in a tight prison. Shen slid away from him, chuckling.

"Shen. That's enough." Wei's voice was quiet, but it hid an undercurrent of anger in it. Feng had heard that voice once before—in Ozai. He'd never wanted to meet the former Fire Lord again since.

"How long have you been standing there?" Feng asked over his shoulder.

Wei kept his hands hidden in his sleeves. His gaze steeled when their eyes met. "Long enough. I think it's time we left."

"You found it?" Shen asked, suddenly quieter than usual.

Wei nodded. "I've heard enough from those doctors. What their general said was true."

"General?" Feng struggled to free himself from his earthly bonds, but to no avail. "What general are you talking about?"

"Fool." Wei's eyes were as cold as his voice. "It's almost a pity that the second-strongest nation in the world can't trust its own people. To have someone turn away from your supreme leader just four years into his reign…well. At least his prejudices are far more deep-seated than the ones the people of Ba Sing Se have with King Kuei."

"A traitor?" Feng whispered to himself. "A _general_? Why?"

"I wouldn't call him a _traitor_, but he _did _rat on the Fire Lord. He didn't leave his name, and he was smart not to." Wei turned his back to Feng. "We would have exposed him in a heartbeat. Dirtying our hands on this man _directly_ is not worth the effort. But we've said too much, so we'll take our leave here."

"By 'we' you really just mean me," Shen remarked sourly. He sighed. "Let's go, then. I'll bring this whole place down."

"Whose side are you on?" Feng demanded as they turned to leave.

Wei threw one last look over his shoulder. "We belong to the Earth Kingdom."

The building shook and groaned with strain as the Dai Li disappeared out the door. Feng knew he only had a short amount of time before the whole structure came down on him.

He closed his eyes, and began to breathe.

* * *

"We're turning back."

Toph turned to her sharply, eyes narrowed. "You're kidding, right? 'Cause I can't tell with all this water around us."

Though it helped little, Azula threw a dirty look Toph's way. _I can't believe I'm saying this either. _"If _they_ have a battle just off Kyoshi Island's coast, it's going to attract unwanted attention. How long do you think the news will take to reach Zuzu?"

"And how long do you think Sparky will take to link this to you? We'll get found out _anyway_." Toph nodded to herself and crossed her arms over her chest. Then she smiled slyly at Azula. "That's a pretty good excuse, Fire Lily. You almost had me there."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Toph chuckled as they turned around with Azula's leading. "You're growing a _heart_. I didn't think you had it in you to _care_."

"I could let you go for a swim while I head back myself, if you like." Azula faced the wind, lips curled into a scowl.

"You wouldn't. I'd drown, and then you'd give Sparky a real reason to kill you."

"Then that would lead me to a crossroad," Azula said wryly. "Let the Earth King do away with me, or let my brother be the one to put me down? I'm spoiled for choice." She paused to let her words sink in between them.

"Maybe _I _should be the one to kill you," Toph said darkly.

"Maybe," Azula said, feeling the corner of her lips twitch. It really wasn't funny, but there was just something about the idea of dying by Toph's hands that made the weight on her shoulders disappear. There was also the satisfaction of never letting Zuko be the one to finish her off—he'd had that chance at their Agni Kai. Her death would be the greatest goodbye to her brother: _You don't get to kill me and have your happy ending._

It really wasn't funny, but she threw her head back in laughter anyway.

And fell silent when she caught the look in Toph's eyes.

* * *

Nilak had left shortly after Ty Lee's sudden departure. He found himself standing before the imposing statue of Avatar Kyoshi some time later, when the village was quieter and less active. The image of grown-up Kinaktok was harshly burned into his mind, and he found himself longing for sleep and another visit to the spirit world. His son wasn't _alive_, but he wasn't non-existent either.

He brought his hand up to the bone necklace round his neck. _It was supposed to be yours. And now…_

The chilly sea breeze made him sigh. He glanced up at Yue, hanging over the village like a watchful guardian. _As you should be, especially during these times, _Nilak thought with a rueful smile. _Especially over your father._

He turned around and away from his thoughts when someone coughed lightly behind him. The lean, sixteen-year old Avatar stood, leaning against the side of Kyoshi's pedestal. He looked up at her with a sort of wistfulness in his knowing gray eyes, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I try not to think about what they'd do if they were me," Aang said quietly, "but it's hard to stop myself from asking for help from them." His eyes met Nilak's. "They know so much more than I do. They lived a _whole life_. I'm still…" He trailed off, gesturing to himself and shaking his head.

"You're the youngest fully realized Avatar." Nilak inclined his head. "At least, as far as the scholars know. You are just as, if not more, capable as Roku or Kyoshi."

"Capable," Aang nodded. "But effective?" He shook his head grimly. "Energybending had been my answer to the final battle with Ozai. Once was enough, Nilak. I don't want to have to do it again."

Nilak sighed. "You remind me of myself, Aang. When I was younger…stronger. When I still had my whole life ahead of me." Nilak gestured for the young Avatar to follow him, and they began walking in step with each other.

_I was also as idealistic as you. _He glanced at Aang, who was still at attention. "I was a young man in the Northern Water Tribe with ambitions and ideas about the world that gave the elders countless headaches," he began to recount fondly, smiling. "I was eager to do what I was meant to do. I was eager to change the world, or uphold it—whichever chose to come first."

"Which one did you end up doing?"

"I don't know yet. Even now, I'm unsure of my real role." Nilak cleared his throat. "But the years saw me seasoned into a man who was sure of what had to be done. Warring with the Fire Nation has been nothing short of traumatic, but it taught me something about life." He looked down at the bone necklace he still had his hand around. "Sometimes, you don't have room for compromise and mercy."

Aang frowned, features tightening with something close to anger. But the closer Nilak looked, the more he realized it was hurt. _Disappointment_. He sighed. _This boy still has a lot to learn, even if he is master of all four elements._

"Are you saying I have to kill Azula?" Aang asked. "Or that I have to let someone do it?"

A dull ache in his chest surfaced, and Nilak had to look away. _Of course not. I would never tell you to do something like that. But, Aang…_

"I care about Azula. She is a young woman with her life ahead of her, whether she knows this or not," Nilak said. "I see my past anger inside her. She's lost close to everything in the last few years. I would protect her like I should have protected my son."

Aang didn't look convinced. "But there's more."

"No two people are the same," Nilak went on. "Humans _feel_. It is our natural state. We are creatures of emotion. The heart will always rule over the mind, unless one is truly detached from this world." He caught the slight shuffle in Aang's feet, and knew that he was listening. "You know that not everyone can accomplish such a thing."

"Guru Pathik taught me about the chakras, and how to open them up," Aang said pensively. "It would release you from pain. Suffering. _Emotion_."

"And did you?"

"I almost did, but…" Aang shook his head. "I couldn't let go of Katara."

_And how could anyone expect you to? You are a spirit of balance but you are still a man. _Nilak placed a hand on the youth's shoulder. "In that same way, not everyone can let go of what matters most to them. Their friends, their family…their lives. You cannot stop them from wanting to keep everything they love safe."

"Is that the voice of defeat?" Aang asked with a hollow smile, but not unkindly.

Nilak shrugged. "I don't know. But even if it was, defeat will still never be failure. The true failure is in never trying."

"What exactly," Aang tried carefully, eyes searching the ground before them, "am I supposed to be trying for?"

_What indeed, Kin, _Nilak thought sadly. _You are asking me to fight the world for Azula. But you never said why. You never told me why she should become so important to any of us. All I have to offer is that I feel a measure of affection for this child, but how is that enough for anyone? _He closed his eyes, and clasped his hands together. When he opened them again, he found Aang on the ground meditating.

_But the Avatar…he is the link between the spirit world and ours. If you do not owe me the answer, then surely…_

"Aang." Nilak settled down beside the young airbender. "I want to try something. Maybe we can…find the answer, if you trust me enough to follow my lead."

Aang's gray eyes lit up, and suddenly he was twelve again and eager to make things right, much like the first time Nilak had encountered the great heroes. It was as good a sign as any.

"I'll do it. We've got nothing else to go on, anyways." The Avatar dropped into a slight slouch, but kept his eyes on Nilak. In them was a storm that could move mountains and tear oceans apart.

Nilak looked away from him, and up at the moon.

"What do you know about spirits and dreams?"


	18. Burying and Digging

A/N: And I'm back from camp! It's been great being away and unwinding with my church mates, but I'm happy to be back as well! Thanks again, you guys, for sticking with me.

* * *

**18**

_In and out. In…and out. _

Feng breathed in deeply, feeling his inner fire grow with every breath he took. It had only been a minute or so since the Dai Li made their exit, but it felt like a minute too long. _Concentrate, _he told himself sternly. _Focus, or else you're really going to get an early burial. _As if on cue, the building trembled. Feng closed his eyes and breathed in again, chest rising until he hit his limit.

_You are your fire._

His earth prison blew apart when he released his breath; fire filled his vision for a few seconds as he discharged the power from his being. It was a move made out of desperation and he immediately knew why most firebenders never tried it on a regular basis. His body tingled with the burning sensation caused by the excessive firebending that engulfed easily half his body, but his insides felt the worst. Feng tumbled to the ground, hissing, and lay there for a few seconds before he remembered where he was.

Reminders of what the Dai Li said came back at him with full force; a rubber band seemed to stretch and snap in his chest and he sat right up, forgetting all about the soreness in his body. He turned over and got on his knees just as the entire place shook; it might as well have been an army of komodo-rhinos stampeding through at that moment.

He reached for his fallen blade, struggling to his feet, and sheathed it before heading out the door. _No use trying to find them now, they're trying to bring the whole place down! _Feng dashed past the observation room just next to Azula's old ward and skidded to a halt when he saw a broken form lying on the floor inside. He took a closer look—

—and charged in when he realized the man was still breathing.

"Spirits, what did those Dai Li do to you?" Feng gingerly scooped the doctor up from underneath his form and turned him over slowly. The doctor's matted hair covered his eyes, but Feng could feel him looking directly at him. Blood was everywhere, especially on his thighs and legs. _They crippled him…and left him to die with me. _Feng leaned over. "Can you hear me?"

"You…another survivor…?" the doctor croaked, and his hands began to tremble. "Must…stop Dai Li…intercept…"

"Intercept? What?" Feng swallowed hard. "Was it something the Dai Li discovered here?"

Slowly, the dying man nodded. "Princess…Azula's…medication—" Blood spurted from the man's mouth as he coughed. "Senior doctor…tampered."

"Her medication…was _tampered with_? On whose orders?" Feng demanded. His urgency intensified when the building shook and groaned again. The vibrations he felt were still far off, but he knew what was coming. _I don't have much time…come on…_

"Doesn't…matter. Dai Li…" The doctor raised a shaky finger to the door behind. "War will break…out. Find them…please…"

_Intercept the Dai Li. Retrieve whatever evidence they've got, or else we're going to war. _Feng moved to hoist the doctor up, but the man shook his head with all the strength he had left.

"No! No…I'll only…slow you down. Go…_Dai Li_. _Now_!"

Feng shook his head grimly, but laid the man back down in his own pool of blood. He bowed his head. "Agni keep you, brother."

He rose just as the light left the man's eyes and the building began to crumble from beneath. Feng barreled out the door and down the corridor as the ceiling and walls crumbled around him. Debris rained on him like a storm, and he raised his arm to shield his head from any potentially fatal hits. _The window… _He squinted at the window ahead, and then looked back at the mass of concrete and bricks behind him.

There was only one way left.

He dived headfirst through the window, and wondered how anyone could ever be so unlucky.

* * *

"How's it going, Sparky?"

Sokka leaned against the doorframe, just a few feet away from where the young Fire Lord was seated. He had a faint smile on his face, but Zuko knew better than to take the tribesman at face value nowadays. Katara had told him enough before she took her leave with Aang and Nilak—enough to worry him as he forgot the letter on his desk. He set down his brush, careful not to let its bristles touch the parchment laid out before him and reclined his back against his chair, regarding Sokka thoughtfully.

"I've been better. I'm glad you're here." Zuko nodded towards the chair across his desk. He never took many visitors in his own reading room, but it was a precaution, just in case. "Take a seat, Sokka, if you're going to be here a while."

"I've got nothing to do, anyway," Sokka shrugged and sauntered over, pulling the chair out. He sat down with a sigh, and then proceeded to slump into the luxurious piece of furniture. Zuko raised an eyebrow at the utter look of contentment on his friend's face.

He leaned across the desk, meeting Sokka's eyes. "So…how are you?"

"How am I," Sokka chuckled as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard, "I'm fine! I'm fine…why…why wouldn't I be?" His eyes flicked away, hazy with remembrance. Sokka seemed to shrink into his seat even further and fell silent.

Zuko drummed his fingers on the top of his desk, allowing the sound of it to fill the awkward silence for a moment. Sokka looked unnerved—uncomfortable—and it was the worst he'd ever looked in front of the Fire Lord.

_Well, not exactly, _Zuko reminded himself. _There's that other time…_

"Do you want to talk about it, Sokka?"

The use of his name made the tribesman snap back to attention. Sokka blinked, looking at Zuko as if he only just noticed the man was there. "Huh? Talk? Yeah!" He sat up a little straighter now, hands on the armrests. "Yeah, we can talk. What about?"

Zuko shook his head. _He tends to space out from time to time, _Katara's voice reminded him, _when he's remembering._

"About your, uh…" Zuko looked down at the letter he was penning, and suddenly it was the most interesting thing in the world. _I don't _do _therapy sessions, Katara. _"Do you want to talk about what happened that night?"

When Sokka's reply didn't come as expected, Zuko looked up. He nearly did a double take when he saw the guarded expression on Sokka's face. His defenses were suddenly up, as if Zuko was nothing more than the Angry Jerk who tried to kill them on multiple occasions before. But that wasn't the reason why a chill was slithering down his spine and bringing back sour memories like they just happened yesterday.

Zuko had seen that same look in Azula's eyes—once when he went to the asylum and a thousand times over in his dreams. _Nightmares. _Seeing it on Sokka—_Sokka, _the one that sometimes made bad jokes and then really good ones to redeem himself, the one that always had a sarcastic jibe at the ready even in the middle of a fight—felt wrong. Everything about what he was looking at felt _wrong _and out of place.

It was like Zuko was cornering a child, and there was a very real risk of having the kid slip away out of fear if he wasn't gentle enough. A child, or a confused animal. And right now all he could think about was his sister.

He shook his head. _Weird. _

Sokka twitched, if not from the thick silence then from Zuko's scrutiny. And then his eyes flicked away again, chasing something invisible behind Zuko's head. "I—I don't want to, really. Did Katara put you up to this?"

"You're gonna have to, sometime," Zuko said. "And is it really that bad if your sister asked me to look after you while she's gone? Besides," he smiled at the tribesman sitting across him, "you're my friend. We're _bros_. That counts for something."

Sokka relaxed at his words, and the hard look in his eyes faded. He began twiddling his thumbs and fixed his gaze on his hands instead. "Don't—don't get me wrong, Zuko, but this isn't something I'd talk about to…to anyone. Not Katara. Not Aang."

"And Suki?" Zuko asked carefully. "Toph?"

Sokka shook his head. "I can't. It just—it sucks." He sighed, and let his hands drop into his lap. "I can't ever think about it without wanting to throw up. Without wishing I could just—disappear."

Zuko picked up his brush again, and resumed writing. _Maybe it'll work if I don't look at him. _"But you have those nightmares. How often?"

"Every night," Sokka said slowly. _Painfully_. "Sometimes it's better when—when Yue shows up, but she doesn't come by all the time." Zuko paused at the mention of the Moon spirit, but didn't look up. Sokka was still talking. "She tells me things, you know."

"Things like what?" Zuko kept his hand working, and hoped he wouldn't start writing gibberish soon. Mai could multitask, but he was different.

"I don't know, you know how spirits like talking in riddles," Sokka said, the tightness in his voice fading with every word. "Something about illusions and riptides…or illusions of riptides."

_Yeah, riddles are their favorite. _Zuko finally looked up and gave his friend a half-smile. "Illusions? Azula needs to hear some of that talk."

"Hah! Yeah." He choked out a laugh and rubbed his eyes. "Not that it'd make a difference for her, though. No offence."

_None taken. _Zuko shrugged, glancing away. The thought of spirits and Azula getting tangled up in their riddles? Almost laughable. Zuko knew his sister was crazy, but she wasn't stupid. She wasn't a block of _wood_. She'd figure them out and give them a run for their money.

But that wasn't the point.

He turned back to Sokka. "But it made a difference for you?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you're always thinking about it."

Sokka shrugged. "It's not a problem, Zuko."

"If it wasn't," Zuko set down his brush again, "then Katara wouldn't be this worried. And you know how sharp her instincts are. And frankly, I'm just as concerned."

"You're busy," Sokka said flatly, and looked ready to leave. "You've got all that Fire Lord stuff to attend to—"

"_You _walked in here," Zuko pointed out. "And you're seeing this through, at least once. Talk to me, Sokka. Man to man."

Sokka looked supremely uncomfortable, and there was a raging conflict in his tenacious blue eyes that was all too apparent to the thoughtful Fire Lord sitting across him. The air grew heavier, or at least it seemed to be pressing in on the two of them from all sides. There was a long silence, deafening and disquieting all at the same time.

Then the tribesman let out a deep sigh, and nodded.

"Fine. Man to man." His eyes glinted with resolution in the firelight from the candle sitting between them. "But whatever it is, it stays in this dingy office of yours."

"I will honor that."

* * *

Ling hurried down the hallway with the tea set on her tray, trying her best not to trip over her own feet or do something else as equally stupid as that. She'd been running a lot of random errands ever since Azula made her departure for Kyoshi Island, but this one was different. The Fire Lady had summoned her to bring her tea—a meeting long overdue. Ling slowed down when she saw the guarded doors up ahead, and came to a halt before the two imposing guards.

"State your business," one of them ordered gruffly.

"Um…tea for the Fire Lady," Ling replied meekly, bowing her head.

She was allowed entrance within no time, and she took purposeful steps towards Fire Lady Mai, who looked particularly bored as she cleaned her little knives. Ling eyed them with apprehension; she'd heard a lot of stories about the Fire Lady's deadly precision and efficiency with those knives of hers. She hoped she wouldn't do anything to end up on the receiving end of that kind of skill.

"Your Highness," Ling did a little bow and quickly set the tray on the table beside Mai. "I brought you your tea." She was about to take the pot when Mai stopped her with one hand atop her own.

"Leave the tea. Is the door closed behind you?" Mai stopped cleaning her knives and set them down beside the tea set.

Ling's eyes widened fractionally. "Y-yes, Your Highness. What do you need from me?"

Mai pursed her lips, eyes watching something else, before her attention returned to Ling. Her gaze was made of steel—there was nothing she couldn't hide from anyone with that look in her eyes. Ling had to admit the woman carried herself like a true royal, even if she didn't have a drop of royal blood in her veins. All she could think of was how much Mai was made for this role beside the Fire Lord.

"I need you to stay close to Azula for me."

"What?" Ling blinked at the Fire Lady, incredulous. "But, Your Highness…she's on Kyoshi Island—"

"No, she isn't. Not anymore." Mai sighed and rubbed her temples. "But I know where she will be. I'll send you to Ember Island once I get word, but what's important is that I have your word on this: you _will _keep an eye on Azula for me. Talk to her, even, just—"

"But why?" Ling blurted, and then clapped a hand over her mouth. _I just interrupted the Fire Lady. Agni, that was a good move, Ling! _But Mai didn't look offended. She didn't even twitch a little. Her eyes grew distant as she looked away, and Ling shuddered with relief.

"Something's wrong with this," Mai gestured to something invisible. "This whole thing. Something's happening, but Azula's not the one who has her hand in this. Not _directly_, not _intentionally_. Her life is in more danger than I'd like to think."

"Does the Fire Lord know about this?" Ling asked. Her heart hammered in her chest. "Couldn't you just assign a soldier, or a group of soldiers, to watch over the princess…?"

"Zuko knows there's someone else playing this little game," Mai said bluntly, "but he will not know about what I'm instructing you to do. There's something I need to find out. My husband thinks it's wise to tell me only ninety-percent of everything he knows, but that's men for you."

Ling swallowed the lump in her throat, and tried to still the butterflies in her stomach by pressing one hand to it. _The Fire Lady knows where the princess is? But the Fire Lord doesn't? _She lifted a hand to the jade pendant around her neck instinctively. _You were right, Yuzhi, _she thought to herself. _Politics are so messy._

"But how am I supposed to find anything out for you? I'm just…" Ling shrugged. "I'm just me." And that was the truth.

"You can do a lot more than you believe," Mai said coolly, tucking her hands into her sleeves. "And you'll be doing it in service to the Fire Nation. Can you say no to that?"

Ling winced. "What you're asking of me…is surely important, but what am I supposed to do exactly, Your Highness?"

Mai bit her lip, fishing for her answer. "I don't know. Care for Azula when you see her again. Just take care of her and make sure she doesn't kill herself or anything." Mai sighed, sinking into her chair. "I know Lady Beifong is with her, but I can't guarantee…I can't guarantee Azula won't find a reason to break away. I just need you to ask her about her time in the asylum, her nightmares—because that's when she's remembering the most—and just…anything. Get anything out of her, and send me letters regularly. Can you do that?"

Ling dipped her head in a bow. "Yes, Your Highness." _But I don't like the sound of it. _She looked up, unsure. "What—what's happened to the princess, Your Highness? What's happening to our nation?"

Mai rubbed her temples wearily. "I don't know." She closed her eyes. "It would be easier to put the blame on Azula and do away with her," Ling flinched at this, but was grateful that Mai didn't see it, "but nothing's ever easy. Especially politics. And especially if we're going to war with the Earth Kingdom."

Ling covered her mouth in horror, and Mai opened her eyes to look at her. The Fire Lady had never looked more tired in that moment. "Will you do this for me?"

"I…accept." Ling lowered her hand and let it fall to her side. She stared down at the ground. "You…care a great deal about the princess, Your Highness, if you don't mind me saying. Were you really friends with her once?"

"Once," Mai affirmed. "But that doesn't matter now. What matters is that no lives are lost unnecessarily and that the Fire Nation remains standing at the end of the day." Ling looked up and their eyes met, and she realized the Fire Lady's lips were curled upwards slightly. It was almost a smile, but not quite there yet.

It looked kind of sad, too, when she looked closer.

"Something the matter, Your Highness?"

Mai blinked, and then her almost-smile vanished. She looked away. "Nothing. You can go. Wait for my summon, Ling."

Ling knew the end of a conversation when she saw one; she bowed and shuffled out the room, shaking her head in disbelief at what just happened.

* * *

When the servant girl was gone, Mai nodded to the empty room. "You can come out now."

"We're risking a great deal, here," the man said as he stepped out from behind the drapes that decorated the room. He ran a hand over his head, smoothing the loose strands of hair back into place, but one remained stubborn and stuck out proudly. Xun, Head of the Intelligence Bureau, dusted his shoulders with an unreadable expression. "Sending that servant girl like that. She's probably going to let something slip, the way she's looking so nervous all the time."

"Azula knows her, and that's enough for us." Mai gestured towards the tea set sitting beside her knives. "Tea?"

Xun wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Hate the stuff," he said, putting up a hand. "General Iroh deserves the blame for that."

"Zuko says the same thing," Mai said, nodding. She pursed her lips and looked long and hard at the officer standing before her. "You're sure your information was correct, Xun?"

"Positive." Xun inclined his head. "I made sure of it myself. I don't trust the underlings now, much as I hate to admit it. If the message Toph Beifong sent was accurate, then they're headed to Ember Island. I'll be sending watchers to keep an eye on them, and keep your servant girl safe."

Mai took this in at her own pace, picking up one of her knives and watching her own reflection in it. She curled her lips in distaste when she saw the rings around her eyes, more pronounced than ever. It was a look she saw on Zuko and Zuko only. It was all but a testament to the fact that she, too, had been working her tail off in the dark.

_This wouldn't be happening if you were upfront with all the details, Zuko._

She sighed at the thought of her husband and set her knife down. "I'm glad you came to me when you did. Really."

"I know," Xun said, taking a seat beside her. His amber eyes studied her with refined confidence. "Your face says otherwise, but I know you, cousin." Xun turned his gaze from her, looking straight ahead at the bookcase at the far end of the royal suite. "You're the one who reads, right?"

"Yes. Zuko never has time for leisure."

"I wonder why." It was hard to ignore the sarcasm in his voice, but Mai had been long used to it by now. She watched her older cousin rise from his seat and walk towards the bookcase, eyes transfixed on it like it was the only one in the world. She snorted.

"You can look at that all you want later. I want to know what else you found out when you dived into work."

"I can do two things at once, Fire Lady," Xun said, waving languidly over his shoulder. "Or three. Or four…" He chuckled when he saw the look on Mai's face, and turned back to the books arranged neatly before him. "You already know what I told you. There were irregularities in the delivery of Azula's medical reports. They were supposed to be sent in every three to six months, but there were gaps in between several reports. Twelve months, fifteen months and eighteen months."

"And there's only one person who can possibly have them at this time," Mai said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes," Xun affirmed. "It wasn't what I wanted to find out, let me tell you, but I had to pick at everything related to the case. Especially Azula, since things are all centered around her nowadays. So much hassle for a fallen royal." He ran his fingers over the books, one by one. "Haven't _you _seen those reports yourself?"

"No," Mai admitted. She suddenly tasted something sour in her mouth and scowled to herself. "No, I didn't want to read them. I had nothing to do with her anymore."

"And yet here you are, watching over her like a depressed guardian angel." Mai twitched at Xun's sense of humor, but let him continue. "Some part of you still cares about her, Mai. You're just not ready to admit it yet."

"Care about her? The one that had me and Ty Lee thrown in prison and tortured?" Mai snarled, the spike in her emotions not unusual to the officer in the room. "Mother and Father always called you the dysfunctional one; now I can see why."

"Uncle and Auntie don't know me well enough." Xun shrugged. "Besides, the right word is _sociopath_. Much like your princess friend, here." His hand paused at one book, hidden in between two thick ones, and even from where Mai was sitting she could see his brow furrow. "You said you read all of these?"

"What of it?"

Xun plucked the one he had his hand on out from the case and looked down at the cover, features knotting even further. "You read up on medical drugs for leisure, Fire Lady?"

Mai stiffened. _Medical drugs? Whatever the hell for? _She rose from her seat and strode over to Xun in purposeful steps. "Let me see that."

_A Conclusive List of Medical Drugs by Physician Shaowen, _the cover read. Mai narrowed her eyes and flipped the book open. She began to flit through the pages, though she wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for. There was nothing but information about medicines and drugs that could put Mai to sleep in five minutes and Ty Lee in _one_. _This book's probably misplaced or something—_

Mai paused when she found an odd sight in the middle of the book. The page numbers had skipped by two numbers, and there was a rip carelessly left behind where the missing page should have been. She looked up at Xun and nodded down at the book. "A missing page."

"Oh, now that's interesting." He took the book off her hands and scanned the pages before him. "Well, I don't know who this Shaowen is, but his drugs aren't arranged according to afflictions and such. Lousy. I'll have to find another one of this."

"Why would Zuko need a book on medicine? Drugs?" Mai dropped her hands to her sides. "Something's out of place."

"It's been out of place since I went through Azula's reports," Xun sighed. "Look, I don't want to look like the devil's advocate or anything, but your husband knows a lot more than he claims to. _Especially_ when it comes to _Azula_."

"I know," Mai said through gritted teeth. _I just wish it wasn't true._

Xun reined himself in a little and snapped the book shut. Then he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, though it helped little. He was never a comforter, even when he was a child. Mai just shrugged him off, knowing it was as awkward for him as it was for her.

"Look," Xun started, walking in time with her as they crossed the room, "I'll head down to the asylum tonight and see what I can get out of those doctors. Or their files. Maybe I might even find this stupid book again," he lifted the book in his hand and waved it at her, "and I'll come back as soon as I'm done. Don't make that face, Mai. It's unbecoming of a Fire Lady."

Mai rolled her eyes. "Like you'd know what decorum is? Don't think I don't know you haven't been addressing Zuko properly," she jabbed a finger at his chest. "He just tolerates it because you're the best of the best."

"A compliment from the Fire Lady herself," Xun chuckled. "This must be my lucky day. Well, I'll be seeing you in a few hours. Or not, if Zuko's back in bed with you by then." He sidestepped Mai as she moved to smack him on the arm. "Drink that tea, cousin. I hear Iroh's got a new recipe he wants to let you and your husband try when he gets back from Ba Sing Se."

Mai dragged a hand down her face as Xun left the room.

* * *

Zuko thought he knew all about guilt and remorse.

He thought wrong.

Sokka brought a hand to his face as he finished, breathing heavily. "After the way I let those raiders get to Tikaani and Kaya…after the way I let them _die _because I was so stupid. Stand-in chief for Dad, but all I gave him when he came back was two dead kids. _Family_." Sokka shook his head. "Worst chief ever."

"But you got over that," Zuko said quietly. "Didn't you?"

"Until I mauled the firebender to death, yeah. And a lot of good _that _did me." Sokka dropped his head into his hands and let out a frustrated groan.

Zuko raised an eyebrow. "Why are you beating yourself up about that? He took Katara, didn't he?"

"I killed someone," Sokka said slowly. Heavily. "I killed someone and I _liked _it. _That's _why."

Oh. _Oh. _Zuko understood now. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. _This is going to be harder than I thought. _"Look, dude, it's okay—"

"No it's _not _okay!" Sokka glared at him. "I'm getting worse! I haven't been home in _years _but I'm just—I'm—" He slapped a hand to his face, anguished. "I feel like I'm…different. Like I can never be that—that guy with the boomerang again." His hand slid away. "I feel so much _guilt_. Like I can't do anything right again. Do you get me?"

_I think so. _Zuko sank into his seat. _But I can't tell you that, can I? _He compressed his lips into a thin line and closed his eyes. Ozai's laughter seeped into his mind like a disease, and he couldn't shake it off even if he tried. There was his father's laughter, and then there was just one word.

_Fool._

"Yeah, of course." He rubbed his temples and opened his eyes. "Everyone's been through that, Sokka. Look at Aang."

"Aang was _twelve _and _scared_. He ran away. I didn't run…I got cocky," Sokka said depreciatively. "Spirits, I thought I could show my people, show Gran-Gran…how much I grew. So I chased the raiders instead, when they didn't even see _us_ in the first place. This is—this is different. It's not anything Aang can relate to."

"Sokka, you can't put down Aang's guilt because you think it's lesser than your own. You know that." He looked down at his letter and quickly looked up again. "Circumstances are different, but that's the only difference—"

"It's not the same!" Sokka struck the desk with his palm, rattling the items atop it. "I'm a murderer! I killed that firebender like how I killed those raiders—in front of my family! The way they looked at me…the way Katara looked at me…" He rose from his seat, shaking. "You don't understand, Zuko. You don't understand how it feels to have people _not _look at you…or worse, look at you like you're some kind of _savage_."

The words pricked harder than Zuko had expected. He got up from his seat, and stepped around his desk slowly.

"No one hates you, Sokka. You made a few mistakes, but so what?" He gripped his friend by the shoulders. "So _what_? As long as you're sorry, as long as you _know_ it wasn't okay, you don't have to hide away. Your father…" Zuko looked down. "Your father loved you first."

He'd never tasted anything as bitter as his own words.

"You don't know how it is in the Water Tribe," Sokka pushed Zuko's hands away, stepping back like a wary animal. His guarded expression returned, and he was already edging towards the door. "You don't know how it works, Zuko."

"You're jumping to conclusions—"

"No, you don't understand! I have to redeem myself." He pressed his back up against the door, staring down at the floor. It was only then that Zuko realized Sokka was no longer talking to him. "I have to redeem myself somehow. Do something right, this time. Yeah…then they'll take me back. They'll take me back."

_They'll take me back. Father will take me back, right, Uncle?_

Zuko wildly thought of endless seas and an expansive sky, littered with stars. He thought of his days on deck, just laying there and watching the sky change, unblinking. He thought of his days of hounding Aang, pursuing his lost honor…

…and strode over to Sokka, delivering a swift punch to the man's jaw.

"Snap out of it!" Zuko snarled, knuckles tingling. "You don't have to—_redeem _yourself! No one expects that from _you_!"

Sokka fell to the ground, laughing hysterically. "Come on, Sparky," he said, looking up at Zuko with a bleeding lip and a frenzied look in his eyes that made him recoil, "you can do better than that." He stood up and grabbed Zuko by the collar. "Hit me again. Do what Dad never could!"

"I'm not your _father_!" Zuko tried prying Sokka's hands off him, but the tribesman had grown in physical strength as well, over the years. "I'm not going to discipline you like—like—"

_Like my own._

Sokka let out a howl of rage and threw Zuko against the wall. The Fire Lord let out a groan but moved swiftly, regaining his footing as quickly as a cat. He parried Sokka's kicks and punches until he found an opening, and caught the tribesman in an arm lock. He'd keep him there until he came back to his senses.

It just didn't seem like it was happening anytime soon.

"Sokka, stop!" For a moment, all Zuko heard was Sokka's crying, voice cracking as he pleaded for absolution. He felt his friend shake and tremble violently in his hold. The arm lock had turned into a strong embrace, though Zuko wasn't sure whether it was for Sokka or for himself.

_You're not the worst of us. _Zuko sighed heavily as Sokka pulled away. His blue eyes were hollow, sunken even, though tears still spilled over his cheeks. Like Azula's.

He was growing increasingly disturbed at how he thought of his sister every time he looked at Sokka now.

"_Fire Lord Zuko?_"

A few urgent knocks on the door jerked him out of his thoughts. Zuko had never been so thankful in a while. Automatically, he stepped over to the door and opened it with a shaky hand.

"What is it?" Zuko asked blearily, not caring that it wasn't normal for the Fire Lord to answer his own door.

"I came here as soon as I got the message, Your Highness." The soldier paused in the act of catching his breath. He was as pale as a ghost, and he might as well have seen one, judging by the look in his eyes. "The mental facility island, sir—it's been breached by Dai Li. The mental facility has been destroyed, along with all the remaining staff in it."

"Breached?" Zuko spluttered, rising to his full height. "By _Dai Li agents_?" Sparks flew from his clenched fists, and the soldier took a step back from the enraged Fire Lord. "Who let this happen?"

"I don't—I don't know, sir," the soldier looked downwards, unable to meet Zuko's eyes, "But the message was only just received, my lord. There were—no survivors."

A chill down his spine, like a serpent's cold, scaly body. Zuko suppressed a shudder. _No, something's not right about this…_

"Then how was that message sent?"

"I don't know," the soldier admitted, and flinched when Zuko slapped a hand to his head in frustration. _This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? _

"Fine," Zuko said stiffly. He took a deep breath with more effort than usual, ignoring the odd rhythm of his heartbeat. _Fear_. His hand fell to the door's handle and gripped it tightly, as if anchoring himself from being swept away. "That's all, I hope?"

The soldier blinked. "Yes—yes my lord. Do you want me to send a detachment to—"

"No, I'm going this time," Zuko put up a hand. He looked over his shoulder and met Sokka's gaze. "Here's your chance, Sokka. Let's go get them."

* * *

"How long do you think they'll take to send the cavalry?" Shen sneered, sitting across his partner on the other side of the fire. Wei didn't meet his eye, but kept his gaze on the burning flame. Watched it flicker from time to time, as if it had a life of its own.

It probably did. _Like the Princess—one born of fire…a true child of the dragons themselves. _He blinked once. "I wouldn't go so far as to surrender all my trust to the men on this island. So I'd give them about a few hours. Perhaps a day, if nothing jumps at us tonight."

Wei looked up at the expanse of the night sky. He yearned to be watching the sky from home instead of foreign land. If he concentrated hard enough, he could hear the faint breathing of Ba Sing Se at night, a mighty beast just settling into its slumber. It was almost enough to help him tolerate being away from the city.

Almost.

When he looked down, Shen was watching him. Wei raised one brow. "Yes?"

"Three years," Shen said, flames dancing in his green eyes, "and I still can't figure you out. You're so damned _calm _all the time it gives me _chills_." He drew his knees to his chest, feet digging into the soil beneath. Wei watched him with mild interest. "How can you even trust what we found in that nuthouse? And that rat who betrayed his nation?"

"I have no reason not to," Wei picked up the branch beside him and prodded the firewood absently. "I know a man motivated by greed when I see one. His arrogance will be his undoing, I assure you. He thinks himself so great that the Dai Li will play right into his hand…but we have evidence that the princess would _hate _to hear. Does it matter if it's true or not?"

Shen grimaced. "And you think she'll just come with us once she finds out the Fire Lord's been keeping her like a pet in a cage?" He snorted. "You're better than that, Wei."

"And you say you can't figure me out." Wei shook his head. "No, Azula will not like what we have to tell her. But she can never go back once she hears it. She will have nowhere to belong except with us. We clear a path, and she _will _take it."

"What makes you think she'll want to be Earth Queen again?"

Wei looked down at the fire again. Watched it lick at the air with a will of its own.

"She is descended from the great dragons, Shen. She will rise," he said, lips drawing into a smile, "as the sun. And that, my friend, is what will bring her down."

* * *

Feng hid in the cover of the shadows, watching the two Dai Li and straining his ears to pick up on their conversation. Perspiration trickled down the side of his face, down his neck and under his collar. The cuts on his face screamed in agony, but Feng kept himself still.

_They're going to kill her? No, that's not right…one of them mentioned an Earth Queen… _Feng edged closer to the little campsite. Kept his breathing even, like he was firebending. He scanned the area, where the two Dai Li agents were sitting, searching until his eyes fell upon a satchel attached to Wei's belt.

_There. _His eyes widened. There was something jutting out, like the end of a roll of paper. _No, not just paper. Medical documents, I'll bet. _Feng's hand fell on the hilt of his blade but he stopped himself at the last moment. _Can't just attack them like this…I'm outnumbered, no matter how I look at it._

He sank deeper into the shadows as Wei stood up.

"I'm putting the fire out," Wei said. "Let's get a move on."

The air smelled of charred wood and ash when the fire went out, engulfing Feng and the two men in complete darkness. The moon was conveniently hidden by dark clouds above, so Feng had to depend on his own vision. He blinked, then rubbed his eyes, and glared into the darkness.

Two figures were already slipping away, as silent as the air around him.

He got up, hand still on his weapon, and went after them.


End file.
